Raine Lionheart Presents... My Little One-Shots

by Raine_Lionheart

Always Consult Your Co-Diarch On Matters Of Security

#2: Always Consult Your Co-Diarch On Matters Of Security

Princess Luna gave a great yawn as she trotted down the corridor from her personal chambers to the Royal Kitchens. Her freshly pressed and warmed robe was secured tightly around her barrel, and in her aura she grasped a midnight blue mug the size of a cider stein. The black coffee within steamed faintly beneath her muzzle, and she counted this as aromatherapy.

Bless Starswirl's ingenious coffee apparatus. It held a place of honor within her chambers.

She took a sip as she turned the corner, and then promptly drenched the 20 hooves of carpet in front of her with twin jets of coffee, projected from her snout.
"What in blazes-!?" Luna cut off her exclamation as she realized its inappropriate aptitude.

On either side of the door leading to the Royal Kitchen stood two of her sister's Solar Guards: perfect specimens of ponykind in terms of size, wing power and magical prowess (as tribal attributes may be measured). Both wore the same professional, stoic expressions that befit two Royal Guards in the service of Equestra, which contrasted greatly with the fact that both of their manes were on fire.

Princess Luna, co-diarch of Equestria, and Princess of the Night and the Dream-realm; Keeper of Onieria and Nix; the Pony of the Great Unconscious; daughter of Galaxia herself...
She could only gape.

If the two stallions had been acting accordingly to the situation (for example, if they had been, perhaps, screaming, or flailing, or dying even), she would have found herself acting without hesitation. It was what any pony in her place would do. But seeing as how both looked no worse than if they were simply guarding a stuffy Gala, she remained motionless. One of them noticed her and quickly saluted.

"Princess Luna, ma'am!" He barked. His partner on the other side of the carpet saluted as well.

Blinking, quite beyond bemused, Luna weakly gestured with a forehoof for them to be at ease.

Their manes continued to blaze.

Luna opened her mouth and inhaled, but words failed her, and her mouth closed with a light click of her teeth.

The second guard pointed a hoof up at his burning scalp. "You're curious about-"

"We are curious about your flaming manes, indeed," she assented with a nod. She took another slurp of coffee.

"It's not real, your majesty," said the first guard.

Luna rolled her eyes. "Well certainly not. Else, you two mayhap be demons most foul, from the deepest pits of Tartaurus, in order to survive such conflagration."

The two Guards exchanged confused glances.

"Well, explain this illusion," ordered the surly Mare of the Night, the Darkness and the Vast Expanse of the Heavens. She gave a tiny, regal belch. "And be swift with your lips. I require the breaking of little breads and the spreading of the associated jams in tiny pots."

"Of course, your majesty," the second guard began, "it's just that her Highness, Princess Celestia-"

Luna muttered into her mug.

"-was bored earlier and decided that it was high time to tweak some of the castle's decor."

"Of course," the Dark Pony rolled her eyes. "Without even consulting with her co-ruler."

She trudged forward, and the guards hastened to open the doors to the Royal Kitchen, sweeping them shut silently a moment later. Once more, Luna sighed.

It was going to be a long night.

Author's Note:

I had no real ending for this, I just really wanted to write some more Luna