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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The third person scenes are here again and they're disorienting. I won't bring it up again in future chapters since I'd be a broken record about it.
Anyway, there's some nice setup for Aella's first companion Count Specter (who for shits and giggles I'm just going to refer to as THE COUNT from here on). This story is obviously trying to emulate the 'fish out of water' sort of story the original FoE story here, so it's nice seeing a twist where the first companion isn't someone who has a moral compass and instead a cynical and jaded resident of The Land Friendship Forgot who comes across like they are hiding their full nature from Aella.
I have a feeling the 'girl' he's looking for is actively avoiding him.
The Stable is the weakest part of the chapter, basically just repeating Stable 24, except instead of the Stable being a story about how an enforced culture of toxic masculinity and sexism isn't capable of solving an unexpected crisis, here it's a story about ponies taking drugs that turn them into mindless working drones... and then monsters...
It's not really engaging.
There's clearly meant to be some commentary on how awful work ethic culture is under capitalism, but the fact that the residents of the Stable are only working because a drug is turning them into mindless jobber grunts to get gunned down in the future it just falls flat. There's also some parallel made between the residents of the Stable and Aella continuing to drug herself to keep performing tasks, but it doesn't really go anywhere (maybe in a future chapter, but not here. And even then: the parallel doesn't work well since Aella is just working herself to a self-destructive end... while the residents of the Stable just lose all their agency and become zombies).
The scene where Aella and THE COUNT argue over the water talisman is kinda neat, clearly showing that Aella isn't experienced enough to have a backbone to fight back against someone else having selfish motivations. I say kinda neat because if the story doesn't acknowledge later on Aella has this issue and she doesn't work toward growing her own spine it, then the scene is instead just an ill omen that we have a really passive protagonist.
Anyway, I hope this feedback helps you.