Politics by Mercy
There was only the love, now, surrounded by a swirling maelstrom of rage and wrath and sorrow. It stood like an island in the sea, the last monument to the mind that had once dwelt there. No song or loving whisper sounded there, now; only the winds of wrath, and the heaving breaths of the invader.
Heaving breaths which choked off as she returned to her senses. C-Cadance? came the fearful query. W-Where are you?
"Iamo," the love, the last remnant of Cadance, replied. "Iamo." Sunset didn't know the language it spoke in, but the words spoke to her heart, and she understood them; "I love."
"Oh no," she whimpered, shame overpowering all other emotions. "Oh, no no no no no. No, I-I didn't want this to happen! Cadance! Cadance, where are you?!" Desperately, she reached out with her magic, and felt her heart break; the debris of Cadance's mind was scattered all across the mindscape, ripped asunder by her anger.
In a frenzy, she reached out to the shards, calling them with her magic and trying to put them back together. To no avail; she didn't know which pieces went where, and none of them stuck together. Whenever she tried to link two, they refused to connect, and fell apart as soon as she turned her attention to a third piece.
"I can fix this," she manically repeated to herself. "I can fix this, I can fix this, I can-I can-I-I-I-"
She broke down wailing as her attempts at rebuilding failed again, falling apart into a heap. Cadance was gone, as good as dead. And Sunset had killed her; she'd been trying to help her, trying to soothe her pain, and Sunset had killed her. She was the true Kerioth, the traitor who deserved nothing more than death.
"I'm a monster," she spat at herself. "I'm nothing but a monster. Save people from Death? More like send them to him in the first place." Putting her head in her hands, she snarled, "The flood should've taken me, too..."
"Iamo," the love interrupted.
Sunset blinked in confusion, then watched as ethereal strands of affection wiped away her tears. Warmth wrapped around her, and comfort, the love trying to ease her pain.
Just like Cadance had...
"Cadance?" she whispered, hoping against hope. "Is that-are you still there?"
Light shone down on her, purest sunlight; it lightened her worries, eased her cares, lessened her burdens. It rejuvenated her, renewed her, resurrected her from her despair. And from the sunlight, from the love that shone it down, two words came, two words that brought hope back to life in her heart; "Ti amario," words that once again spoke to her heart instead of her ears.
"I love you, too, Cadance," Sunset whimpered, tearing up in relief. "I'm so, so, so sorry. I know there's nothing I can do to make up for this-"
"Ti amario," the love cut her off. "Ti amario."
More tears came to her eyes, and were wiped away by the love before they could fall. Words of apology, of guilt, of shame crawled up her throat, and were silenced by the love before they could be spoken. All fell away before the love's battlecry of "Ti amario."
Eventually, the love's enemies ceased their attack, and Sunset lay at peace in its embrace. She enjoyed her respite for but a moment before turning back to the debris of Cadance's mind, and setting her jaw. "Cadance?" she asked. "Can you help me? There's something I need to fix, but I-I can't do it alone."
"Ti amario," the love affirmed, before moving over to the other shards, which hummed at its arrival.
Sunset took a deep breath, pushed her resurgent worries to the back of her mind, and focused on Cadance, on the loving woman who'd tried to help her, now shattered by her-
"Ti amario" dragged her out of her shame, and she smiled wanly in thanks. Closing her eyes, she reached out with her magic, gently wrapping it around the shards of Cadance's mind. Gingerly, painstakingly, she began assembling them again under the guidance of the love. Every so often a fragment would fall off of her creation, and each and every time the love would catch it and put it back into place, until eventually all the shards were back in their proper place. Cadance's mind was almost restored; all she needed to do now was-
With a pop, the love rushed into the mind, and then Cadance stood before her, clutching her head as her eyes whirled.
"You're alive!" Sunset cried, wrapping Cadance in a hug.
"I was never dead," Cadance reassured her, putting an ethereal hand on her shoulder after a few tries. "Even if you'd fled, I would've been able to put myself back together... eventually. But would you mind sticking to the telepathy in future? What just happened wasn't... particularly pleasant, let's say."
"Don't worry," Sunset replied, tears of joy streaking down her face. "After I wake up, I'm ripping my geode off and never using it again. Oh!" she smiled. "I know! I'll give it to you! You'd make good use of it, and you wouldn't-"
"If I were in your place, I would've misused it today," Cadance cut her off. "There was someone attacking the foundation of your identity, Sunset, the core of your being; is it a surprise that you used your magic in self-defense? Who wouldn't have in that situation?"
"I could've killed you," Sunset protested. "I could've turned you into a vegetable, a-a husk!"
"Twilight could've crushed my heart," Cadance replied. "Pinkameena could have blown me up. If it were Shiny in your position, he could've beat me, or strangled me. All of us have the capacity to inflict harm, Sunset, in one form or another. It's the inclination to do so that we should worry about, and the fact that you're so horrified at the thought of what you did, what you could have done, tells me that we don't have as much to worry about as you fear."
"But there's still a chance," Sunset stood firm. "How can I take that chance?"
"There will always be a chance to misuse something, Sunset," Cadance answered. "Everything can be misused in one way or another, just like they can be used properly to do wonderful things. Starlight's wrong to condemn all magic, good and bad, just as you're wrong to condemn your use of magic, good or bad. Yes, you can misuse your magic, just like you can misuse anything else, and just like anything else you can also use it well. You say that you can't let yourself keep it because there's a chance you'll misuse it; isn't there an equal, if not greater, chance that you'll hurt Homestria by not using it? Giving up your magic won't reduce the risks you face, Sunset; it will only change what form they take. There are no safe roads here, only a choice of which risks to run."
Sunset bit her lip, looking anxiously down at her hands, hands which had almost committed an unspeakable act. Closing them, she sighed, and thought to herself, Truth. "Point taken," she admitted. "I'm not sure how long it'll be before I can trust myself to use it again, though."
"Don't worry," Cadance reassured her. "The fact that you're so suspicious of yourself means that you can be trusted not to misuse it again. After all, you keep a careful eye on those you're suspicious of to make sure they behave, don't you?"
"So I'll keep an eye on myself and try to keep myself in check," Sunset murmured. "Point taken, again. Even if I'm not giving up my magic, though," she spoke up as a whirling thought passed her and Cadance by. "would you mind if we finished this discussion in the real world? I'd rather not risk breaking your mind... again." Guilt and shame flooded her-
And were quickly dammed up by Cadance saying, "Again, you were acting in self-defense, if against an emotional threat instead of a physical one. I forgive you."
Sunset weakly smiled at her in gratitude, then closed her eyes and woke up.
A man in iridescent armor making faces into a transparent jar...
"No Man or beast shall cast you down, save one who bears the heart and crown..."
"Ho dato il mi amore alla mi gente, non l'ho tenuto per me..."
Sunset groaned as Cadance's memories streamed off of her, the remnants of her deep dive into the Principal's psyche falling away as she rose back up to her own. Even when she did, she felt groggy, like she'd just woken up.
More reason not to do that again, she noted drily. Looks like the deeper I go, the harder it is to come out. I'll probably want to keep an eye on myself, make sure I don't start dissociating. It would probably be a good idea to keep Cadance here for a while, too, make sure she doesn't suffer any long-term effects.
"Ugh," the woman herself groaned, clutching her head. "Okay, after this, I think both of us could use some rest, my head feels like Shiny's using it as a tap-dance studio for the Guards. Speaking of whom," she cleared her throat. "do you see what I meant by your pain clouding your reasoning, now? You didn't just want to go with Shiny to save Rarity or Homestria, but to give your parents' deaths meaning, to have a better reason for their passing than 'the levee failed.' At least, that's how it seems to me; do you agree?"
Grimacing in pain, acid filling her throat and gnawing at her soul, Sunset nodded.
And the spell was broken; all her walls came crashing down, the magnificent facades she'd built on the false foundation Cadance had shown her disintegrating. She saw herself; she wasn't the Defier of Death, the arch-nemesis of Fate, or the master of doom; she wasn't the sole survivor of Death's attack on Flutter Valley or his hunted prey in the years afterwards; she wasn't the axis of the world, the hinge of fate, the keeper of the keys of life and death. She was a lonely little girl, orphaned after a flash flood, deluded after an uncle's heart attack, playing pretend to try to give herself a better answer to "Why did Mommy and Daddy die?" than "Because the levee failed."
Whatever levee held back her tears failed, too, the grief and agony of too many years falling from her eyes in beads of saltwater. Cadance rushed over and embraced her before the first tear fell, but Sunset barely noticed; the scourge her heart was being wracked with took almost all of her attention. Years, decades of lies were whipped out of her soul, truth as clear and sharp as glass taking its place. Grief ripped through her throat, tearing its way out in a piercing wail as her life was melted down and reforged, the realization Cadance had brought her to destroying her old history and restoring the truth.
Slowly, agonizingly slowly, the pain dulled as her rebuilding decelerated, exhausted for the moment. It had done a lot of work with the help of Cadance, shaking her foundations of lies and laying new ones of truth, from which, with the help of time, effort, and thought, she'd build new structures even grander than the ones she'd built on lies. But building a replacement for her shattered self-image would take more time than the breaking had, much more time, and much of it would be guesswork, fumbling her way towards her true self. And one of the broken pillars would never be replaced, right when it would've been most useful. Her self-conception as Death's archenemy, one with the power to fight and defy him and his ally Fate, had given her confidence in the past; no matter how bad a situation had looked to her, she could always reassure herself that she was beyond the power of Death, free from destiny and Fate. She would succeed, no matter how much Death and Fate tried to stop her. Now the truth had torn that armor away from her, showing her that she was vulnerable right as war threatened to break out. Homestria would really appreciate the princess' help, but now Sunset saw that she was Raven Inkwell, not the princess she served.
Princess or not, she thought as she loosed one last sniffle, new me or not, I'll still help my friends, my home. Even if it's not my duty as Death's defier, I'll still stand with my friends, and if it's not my destiny to save them, she set her jaw, then I'll make it my destiny. Defier of Death or not, master of doom or not, I won't just stand by while my friends are hurt. Whether I stand a chance or not, I will fight.
"Cadance?" she croaked, throat ravaged by her crying. "Would you mind untying me? I need to get to work."
"Where will you be working?" Cadance asked in reply, wiping away the last of Sunset's tears. "Objectively speaking, where do you think you can do the most good? Don't just say you'll stay here to make me happy; I'll be happiest if you make what you think is the right choice, even if it means going after Shiny."
Sunset closed her eyes in thought. As far as she could see, there were three main paths she could take; stay in Castellot, go after Shining, or go investigate whatever was happening in the north. She did her best work in the field, so one of the paths away from the capitol would fit her best, but Homestria needed a teacher as well as a field researcher, and teaching people how to handle something as dangerous as magic needed to be done in person in case of emergencies. Leaving the capitol would fit her best, yes, but it would fit Homestria poorly, and it was the latter she needed to keep in mind.
Not really much of a choice, then, is there? she drily noted. "Objectively speaking," she said. "I think that I can do the most good by staying here and helping Radiance. I want to be the hero with Shining, or the explorer in the north, but Homestria needs me to be the teacher here."
Cadance nodded solemnly, then pursed her lips. Thoughtfully, she looked back at the papers Chip had given her, the records, invoices, and evidence. After a few silent moments, she nodded, then began untying Sunset's bonds. As she did so, she leaned in to Sunset's ear and whispered, "And she might need you here as an inventor."
A chill went down Sunset's spine. "Maybe," she shakily replied. "Maybe not." Lie.
"Of course," Cadance nodded. "But if you think that, objectively speaking, she does, know that I trust your judgement. You know more about this than I do, Sunset; if you say that Homestria needs you to be an inventor, then I'll believe you. Just try to decide whether she does or not with your head," she gently tapped Sunset's temple. "instead of your heart."
"I," Sunset swallowed as the last cords came undone. "I will." Unknown.
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Congratulations Cadence, you got what you wanted by some miracle of chance.
I feel bad for Sunset.
If nothing else, I have to admire Cadence's sheer chutzpah. Get your psyche shredded down to the core of your being, piece yourself back together, and the moment you're back in meatspace, immediately pick up the argument that got you mind-blasted in the first place.
In any case, it is good to see Sunset got a wake-up call. She may be a protagonist in all of this, but she's not the only one. The Rogue of Doom is in a different continuity. This one needs to focus on what she can achieve through her own action rather than a preordained destiny. That's what got her in this mess in the technicolor monkey world in the first place.
That said, there is still the question of what the local political machinery will allow her to achieve. We'll see what she can do in time. And if she'll ever need to take apart another mind.
10933369
Get ready to feel bad for yourself; what I plan to be the last chapter for this fic isn't substantially different, so if you like reading good stories my advice would be stop tracking this and treat any updates you see like the plague.
I suppose this fic could be considered experimental, me trying my hand at writing a more emotionally driven piece. And, just like Sunset's first experiments at studying Homestrian magic, it ended up blowing up in my face. I thank you for the lessons you've helped me learn from this, and hope to apply them in future.
10933374
Like Cadance said, it wasn't the argument specifically that triggered Sunset, it was the threat to her identity. To Sunset's eyes, Cadance was a threat, triggering her fight or flight reflex, and since flight wasn't an option, she simply used her magic to... remove the threat. It is pretty impressive of her to go back to arguing right after getting her psyche torn to shreds, though.
That we shall.
I'd rather not see, just because of how much it would traumatize her, but we shall have to see.
10933389
You misunderstand my intentions. If I didn't like this story, I wouldn't comment in the first place, in fact the more I like something the harsher I critic it (Sometimes overly so, and I apologize). I am fully invested in this narrative and want to see how things play out at the end, even if I don't personally like it.
As for your experiment, let me give you an objective view.
I believe I have a better understanding of what you were going for in this, and I'll say you had the right idea, the problem I believe, was in execution.
We have two parties in this story; Sunset, and Cadence/Chip. Both parties clash in a different set of priorities when it comes to solving a very complex problem. This is all well and good, even if the answer comes to be that Cadence/chip are in the right.
The problem is that the story doesn't leave any room for a real discussion.
Your own opinions bled too much into the narrative, causing that Sunset's side had no positive arguments. It's almost hammered into us that Sunset's actions are the wrong ones, and the inclusion of trauma as a way to claim that her reasoning are just built on a wrong emotional state only furthers this unfair disadvantage she has to her own claims and even core personality.
On the other side, Cadence/Chip have all the advantages. It was by sheer cosmological luck that Cadence's attempt at "helping" Sunset didn't end horribly. And even Chips clear invasion of privacy and Cadence's assault and kidnapping are side-stepped of all wrongdoing as just them wanting to help Sunset.
This clear favoritism tarnishes the intention of the story, making it seem a lot more artificial and thus leading to a less positive response. It also gives me the feeling that Sunset's getting her personality slowly and forcibly rewritten to fit her role as inactive helper.
As for the glaring problems, Cadence's methods of "helping" are wrong at best and horrible at worst. The story paints her as a self-sacrificing savior despite that she doesn't know what she's doing and only achieves victory out of contrived luck.
I can accept that Sunset decides her role in this story is a secretary, and that Cadence and Chip were always right about everything, but I would've probably have accepted it in better terms if the story had handled the whole discussion in a better way.
10933415
Ah, I see. Thank you, and don't worry, you weren't too harsh at all.
10933374
Regarding the former, I'm hoping that the imminent incursions of Unseelie and other eldritch phenomena will be a sufficient lubricant for said machinery. As to the latter, I'd rather leave that particular Chekhov's Gun unfired, not least because I doubt the legal and medical establishments would be able to handle such an eventuality.