Two Burning Stars Chasing The Day

by FoolAmongTheStars

8. one wish that wont come true

Author's Note:

Warning: Graphic depiction of domestic violence and injury in this chapter. Reader discretion is advised.

One month. That was all she could think about. She had one more month, one more month of school, one more month of here.

She barely felt the cold tile of the kitchen against her cheek before her stepfather yanked her by the hair. He yelled something at her as he dragged her across the room, but Starlight didn’t listen, it all sounded like loud white noise to her by now. She could smell the alcohol in his breath, feel the heat and his spit hitting her cheek as he screamed. She flinched, beyond disgusted as her legs kicked out underneath her, trying to find purchase on the kitchen tile. She reached out and grasp his arm, digging her nails into his skin, trying to make him release her. This only incensed him further and he shook her, throwing her to the ground and aiming a kick to her face. Starlight turned to avoided it in time and he hit her between the shoulder blades instead.

Sometimes it didn’t hurt so much. Sometimes she could float away, think about things that were within her control, within her reach. That way the hits weren’t so bad, then she could ignore all the cuts and scratches and wait for it to be over.

This time though, Starlight felt like she was being attacked from the inside as well.

The kick sent Starlight rolling across the floor, stopping only when her head smashed into the corner of the kitchen’s island. Stars danced in her vision, slowly taking over as she felt the skin split open. There was blood, far too much of it, pouring down her back.

She never screamed; her foster father did all the yelling for her. She couldn't talk her way out of this when he was like this, not that it mattered what she did or said. Starlight had tried everything through the years. If she yelled back, he would punch her until her stomach was black and blue for daring to talk back at him, if she was quiet, he would scream and hit her for being such a spineless bitch. There was nothing she could, she was always destined to lose.

His wife was there for a change, huddled in the corner and crying, begging for him to stop. Her face was swollen from where her husband had struck her earlier, hard enough to fall at Starlight’s feet, who ran in when she heard the commotion. Starlight's first instinct had been to run away, but the pleading look in her foster mother’s eyes glued her to the spot, long enough for her foster father to target the teenager instead. That's what she got for playing hero, she thought she had learned that by now.

Now that Starlight was cornered, he started attacking her without mercy, aiming kick after kick on every inch of her he could reach, sending Starlight into a coughing fit and she curled in on herself. Her head was pounding and she struggled to open her eyes, to see what was coming next, but all she saw were murky colors. Her leg throbbed; it was surely bleeding. Then again, everything hurt too much to be certain. Her legs, her stomach, her lungs, her head, it was hard to choose on what area she should focus on when everything hurt at once.

Someone screamed, her foster father continued his beating and Starlight let go.

Her memories were the only thing he could never take from her, where he could never reach her. She started to go back, to things she hadn’t thought about for a while. When she was smaller and the touch of strong hands didn’t make her flinch, when it meant safety and warmth instead of pain. It hadn’t always been this way with her foster parents, there was a time when it had been peaceful, almost boring, that was the period when she was getting to know Sunburst, and her mind jumped on that memory.

It was spring and the air smelled of freshly cut grass, sunlight poured from the windows as she kicked her locker close and walked away, just as Sunburst rounded the corner and bumped into her. His eyes widened when he saw her.

“I’m so sorry!” He said, looking guilty.

“Huh—”

“Really, really sorry. Can I buy you lunch? Please?”

Starlight stared at him, dumbfounded. She hadn’t even dropped what she was carrying, like in those romcoms, and she had barely felt him colliding with her. “But…I’m fine.”

He insisted and Starlight accepted, more interested in him than the food he offered. He followed her around ever since, and Starlight soon stopped pretending that it bothered her.

Starlight's lips twitched into a smile, that turned into a grimace when the man kicked her hip bone. Such a mundane, meaningless moment in their lives for sure; there were more important moments, much happier memories she could cling to, but she clung to this one for some reason. But then again, that’s how life worked, right? It was a recollection of ordinary moments and hidden in them, like little gems in the soil, were the most important people that made life worth living. And they don’t come in with much fanfare, they simply walked in one day and stayed forever.

---

Sunburst had always been a light sleeper, so when he heard a slight crack in his silent room, he was wide awake. He looked around his dark bedroom, but there was no one there, no one hiding in the shadows.

Then he heard it again, another tap, this time coming from his window, too deliberate to be a branch blown by the wind. He slowly sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, the clock on his table marking the time as two in the morning. There was only one person he knew that would come at this hour. Kicking the sheets, he looked out the window and saw in the dim light of the moon a girl with familiar long, dark hair. He removed the locks, slide the window open, and stepped back.

Starlight came in, more slowly and clumsier than usual, and Sunburst frowned at the sound of harsh breathing. He couldn’t see her properly, not in the darkness of his room and without his glasses. He moved to his nightstand, grabbed his glasses, and turned on the bedside lamp.

“Starlight, what are you—?”

The sight of her bloody face made the words turn to ash in his mouth. He gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth so as not to scream, though a part of him wanted to because the more he looked at her, the worse her wounds seem. Her long hair was a mess of tangles, some of the strands sticking to the cuts on her face, it was hard to tell what was a bruise and what was just a shadow since she refused to raise her head to look at him. There was blood everywhere, but the worse seemed to be on her right shoulder and leg, staining her already dark clothes even further.

Starlight simply stood there, her arms crossed under her chest like she was cradling herself, her blue eyes dull and unfocused as she spoke. “I don’t…have anywhere else…” She said, her words slurred.

He went to his closet and pulled out an extra blanket, throwing it over his bed. He reached out for her, unsure of where to touch her until he settled on her seemingly uninjured shoulder, and gently guided her to sit down. “Come on, just relax, okay? I’ll be right back, promise.”

His hands were shaking, his mind racing as he went to the bathroom and ransack the medicine cabinet. Bandages, band-aids, antiseptic, towels, medicine bottles he didn’t have the time to read, he took it all. Something had to be useful. With his arms full of medicine and towels, he ran back to her side, closing the door to his room and getting to work.

“What happened?” He asked, his voice shaky. He felt the tears streaming down his face, and he wiped them hastily, feeling ashamed. He wasn’t the one covered in bruises and bleeding all over the blankets.

She didn’t say anything at first, and he wondered if she heard him. He opened his mouth to repeat the question, but she spoke up, using the smallest, most defeated voice he ever heard.

“I…I lied. Parents…”

---

She was tired.

It hurt to breathe and talking was a chore, she just wanted to lay down and never wake up. Starlight wasn’t even sure how she got here. At most, she remembered screaming, her stepfather suddenly stopping his assault, and Starlight running down the dark streets. A prevailing darkness that kept her blind and fumbling until she reached the familiar house.

Then there was Sunburst. He was upset, crying, horrified by her appearance. All this time trying to keep him in the dark about her situation, the roundabout answers, the white lies—wasted, gone in an instant. If only she could have held on for a month, just one more month, then he never would have seen her like this. But the choice had been taken from her, just another of the many things her foster father took from her.

But to say those things out loud was harder than she ever imagined.

“Your parents? What did they do?” Sunburst asked shakily. He was focused on something, sitting next to her, and Starlight didn’t have the strength to look at him, let alone see what he was doing.

Then there was pain.

She gasped and Sunburst bit back a cry. “I’m sorry, but I have to apply pressure on your shoulder, it’s not deep but it’s bleeding too—” he stopped and she felt as he leaned back and parted her hair, “my god, and there’s a cut back here too, we have to go—”

Starlight shook her head before he could utter the word hospital. If she went there, it would all be over. Her foster father would have to come. It would only make things worse.

“Why not?” Sunburst demanded. “This is serious—”

“He did this.” The words came in a rush of breath, barely audible.

Sunburst stopped, his blue eyes searching. “Who?”

“Cobalt.” Her foster father. “It’s not the first time.”

She lifted her head slowly, staring into his wide eyes. He was shocked for sure, and she wondered if maybe he was wishing she never told him at all. She wished she could apologize, to take it back somehow, she never wanted to dump this problem on him. He didn’t deserve this. No one did.

“When did this…started?”

Starlight stayed silent. Partly due to the pain, and partly because she didn’t want to answer.

“That cut on your arm, was it then? Or was it…” Sunburst stopped abruptly, turning back to her shoulder and cleaning it. She could see the gears turning in his head, probably recalling the many cuts, scrapes, and bruises he had seen on her skin over the years.

“Before.” Starlight whispered. It hurt to even say it. There was no relief in the admission, none at all, all she felt was a twinge of fear that Sunburst might act out and do something stupid. She only had a month left. She’d been suffering for years, so this was the final homestretch for her if she could just hold on for a little longer…

“How long, Starlight?”

Starlight looked away.

“How long? Dammit, just tell me!” He didn’t shout but the words didn’t lose their forcefulness even as he hissed them. He slapped some ointment on her shoulder and it stung.

“A month after I met you.” It all sounded worse out loud than in her head.

His hands stilled. Sunburst didn’t bother to wipe his tears this time.

Starlight felt the same.

---

It was all obvious in hindsight—the bruises, the secrets, her aloofness—and yet he couldn’t believe that something so horrible had been going on under his nose, to one of the most important people in his life, and he hadn’t even suspected it. Sunburst sat frozen on his bed, feeling cold and powerless.

“This is why—”

“This is why what?” Sunburst snapped, his voice barely above a whisper. “Why you never told me? Why didn’t you? Don’t you trust me? Did you think I would turn you away or…or—” His words broke off as he tried to contain his tears, his harsh breathing echoed in the otherwise quiet room. “Why?”

Starlight took a deep breath and Sunburst bit down on his lower lip to stop from yelling. “I didn’t want you…to get involved.” She whispered; he never heard her sound so broken before. “I didn’t want to burden you with this…problem.”

Problem? It was such an understatement that Sunburst would’ve laughed if he could. But instead, he went back to work, wiping and sterilizing, making sure that the gauze and tape on her shoulder would hold. “Lay down,” he said softly. “I need to check on your leg.”

Starlight grunted, looking half asleep and half in pain. “It’s fine.”

“Don’t you dare say that to me again,” Sunburst hissed. “Lay down.”

She met his eyes with a glare of her own. The cuts and bruises on her face made her seemed more dangerous, but Sunburst wasn’t intimidated and he frowned right back, his fear and worry morphing into righteous anger. She could hate him later; his priority now was to fix her up to the best of his ability and convince her to go to the hospital. Eventually, he won, and Starlight lowered herself on his bed, lying flat on her back.

The cut was on her thigh, and he realized that to get to it, he would have to get rid of her pants. He hesitated before deciding to cut a hole around the wound instead of pulling her pants down. There was a pair of scissors in his drawer, and his hands trembled as he held them and carefully cut the stained jeans. Sunburst wondered if they’d ever stop.

Carefully cutting the material wide enough for him to survey the damage, he tossed the bloody piece of fabric aside and stared at a long-jagged slice that marred her skin. “My God,” he whispered, horrified. “He did this?”

“Yeah,” Starlight murmured, sounding tired.

“We need to call the police,” Sunburst said firmly, already wiping the blood away. He sprayed antiseptic on the wound, cringing at the pathetic noise that his friend made.

“No, no,” Starlight said. “We can’t.”

“We have to! If this has gone on for as long as you said it has, then he won’t stop anytime soon!”

Starlight sat up and her hand shot out to grabbed him by the front of his shirt. Sunburst flinched but could do nothing as she pulled him in, paralyzed by the fury burning in her eyes. “Don’t you think I know that! But if I do then I lose you!”

Starlight let him go and all he could do was watch her as she collapsed back down.

---

The moment the words left her mouth, she felt like she'd been gutted wide open, exposed in a way she'd never been before. Starlight closed her eyes with a shaky sigh, letting the rest of her sink into the bed, letting the tears flow freely. Sunburst was silent as his hands were all over her, skittering across her thighs and hips as he fixed her up.

She could never repay him for this.

It felt like an eternity had passed, but it was probably only a few minutes when Sunburst announced that he was done. Starlight felt drained, dizzy, unable to move as Sunburst got off the bed and touched her cheek.

“Come on,” he whispered. “Your hair is covered in blood and you need to change clothes.”

Starlight blinked slowly. It was impossible, she simply couldn’t move. Starlight waited while Sunburst’s arms snaked under her back and helped her sit. She stood up slowly, clinging to him as he pulled her off the bed, leaning heavily on the tallboy as they gingerly made their way to the bathroom.

The light of the bathroom was harsher when compared to the soft glow of his bedside lamp and she closed her eyes, letting Sunburst guide her to sit on the toilet. “Drink this,” Sunburst urged her, and wondered when he got a glass of water and two painkillers, but she took them anyway, swallowing the pills and chasing them down with the water.

“I have to wash your hair, okay?” He murmured, his gentle hand brushing a few strands away from her face. “But you have to be quiet.”

She didn’t think she'd been making any real noise so far, but she nodded anyway. Sunburst used a wet towel to gently wipe her hair down, mindful of the cut on the back of her head.

Sunburst sighed, his hand sure and strong as they ran through her purple and green locks. His motions were steady, soothing, and Starlight drifted in and out of consciousness despite the uncomfortable position. His voice brought her back. “Why would you lose me?”

Starlight swallowed, licking her lips out of habit. “It’s…complicated.”

Sunburst snorted, turning off the tap and ringing out her hair. He carefully dried it with another towel, trying to get as much moisture out of the way so it wouldn’t leak on her bandage shoulder. “Right.” He hanged the towel on a rack, the other one he threw away since it was hopelessly stained with her blood. “Put these on.”

Starlight was slow to react, reaching out to the bundle he held out to her, realizing belatedly that it was clothes. “Huh?”

“Your clothes are covered in blood,” Sunburst explained. For a moment, Starlight thought he sounded like a parent—a real, caring one—who was trying to calm his child from a nightmare.

She hesitated for a moment before she complied, ignoring the twinge of pain on her shoulder as she slipped off her ruined shirt. She felt funny, buzzed with an energy she didn’t know she had. She stood up slowly, her hands sliding to her jeans, one pant leg with an asymmetrical hole in the center, and undid the button. Her gaze never left Sunburst as she let the garment fall to the ground.

Sunburst’s eyes were fixed on her face, ignoring the rest.

Starlight suddenly felt more awake.

---

Sunburst hurriedly took the discarded clothing, putting them in the garbage to get rid of later. He took it as a good sign when Starlight had no trouble dressing, and he tentatively discarded the possibility that she might have a concussion, but he was still wary and she still needed to go to the hospital, whether she liked it or not.

He didn’t waste time admiring her body as she changed, looking at her face or away when he could, even though this was the first time he has seen a girl undress. She was horribly injured, and his need for answers crushed any desire he might have felt for her.

“Come on,” he whispered and took her hand, checking the hall before they stepped out and headed for his bedroom.

He was thankful that he never returned this set of clothes to her. A long time ago, they were caught in a storm and arrived drenched at his house, forcing Starlight to changed into her gym uniform while her clothes dried. She left without them and he never returned them for some reason. At least now they had some sort of use.

He guided her to his bed and helped her lay down, tucking her in, a glance at his clock showed him that it was half-past three in the morning. He was thankful that tomorrow (or was it today?) was the weekend, or he’d have a hard time getting up. He sat on the mattress, leaning against the wall, Starlight laying down beside him, he felt exhausted but the lamp was still on and Starlight was injured and he couldn’t just—

“Sunburst?”

He blinked, looking down at the girl next to him. She looked back at him, seemingly lost. They never had a problem sharing a bed before, then again, she had never slept over either. She could barely keep her eyes open, and Sunburst would have bet that she was so tired that she didn’t realize what she was doing. He made a move to stand up, planning to sit on the floor so she could have the bed for herself, but her hand grasped him, stopping him.

“Get in here,” Starlight whispered, turning on her side to face her best friend. “And turn off the lamp.”

“No, I’ll—”

Her grip on his hand tightened and he found that he couldn’t refuse her when she gave him a pleading look. He crawled into bed but didn’t get under the covers, trying and failing to give her as much room as possible. The bed simply wasn’t big enough.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Sunburst asked as Starlight closed the space between them, her hand coming to rest over his chest. It looked tiny and pale against his dark shirt.

The girl sighed, clearly unhappy that he was still talking. It served her right for keeping this from him for so long. “Because no one can help Sunburst, if I told anyone, the police and CPS would get involved and I’d be taken away.” Her blue eyes found his, her gaze deep and searching even in the darkness. “They take me somewhere far from here, most likely.”

He didn’t understand at first. It was a slow realization that seeped into his mind like molasses rolling down a hill. There was a moment, right before he fully processed everything, where he was horribly confused. None of what she said sounded bad. None of it sounded like a good reason to stop her from doing the right thing and calling the cops, from sending that man to jail, for her to go to a safer place—

But then he realized.

“There aren’t any orphanages or domestic violence shelters in this town,” Sunburst whispered, “they’d have to take you to the nearest one, and who knows where that is, but you’d be gone and…you’d lose me.” He swallowed thickly, finally understanding. “You’re staying here—enduring this—for me?”

Starlight looked away, scrunching her nose. “It sounds different when you say it.”

“Bad or good?”

She shrugged and winced when she jostled her shoulder. “Can I have a rain check on that?”

Sunburst wanted to say yes, of course, she could, but the more he looked at her, the less he wanted to give it. “I can’t…you can’t stay here for me Starlight! What were you thinking?! He almost—he could’ve killed you! You were…” He bit his lip, tears gathering in his eyes and he tried his best to contain them. “Oh my god, no, I can’t let you stay here. That’s not fair.”

“No, no, Sunburst, please—please don’t cry.” Starlight whispered, almost pleading. “It’s one month, okay? I’ve been through this for so long and…I’d rather stay.”

Starlight patted his chest, and he tried his best to stop his tears from falling. It was hard because the reason she was suffering so much was because of him. He didn’t ask for this, and he knew that in the end Starlight stayed based on her own choices, but it was still a hard pill to swallow.

Maybe if he didn’t feel so strongly about her, and if there wasn’t this thing between them, she would leave.

“Oh god, you’re starting to think,” Starlight groaned. Reaching up with both of her hands, she cupped his cheeks and pulled him towards her. Bringing their foreheads pressed together in the darkness, nose to nose, breathing each other’s air. “Stop doing that,” she murmured. “I’m not leaving and you can’t make me leave. Got it?”

Despite the situation Sunburst laughed, some tears spilling down his cheeks. Her thumbs swept them away and she sighed. “Come one, let’s get some sleep. Please?”

“Yeah, okay…”

Gently he pulled away, lying down on his side beside her, one arm under his pillow while the other pulled her close, his hand lying flat on her back. Her hand found its place over his chest and stayed there.

If he weren’t so tired, he would’ve realized that her hand was resting over his heart.

Comments

[Jedi Wolf]

At least Sunburst knows.

[Shiny Kelp]

I assume this is the chapter you were referring to. Appropiately brutal, I do say, but oddly paced.
(Spoilers btw for whoever decides to read comments before the fic)

It starts out about as fine as I could expect, but then the line

This time though, Starlight felt like she was being attacked from the inside as well.

...Sort of comes out of nowhere. I thought it was hinting at either serious internal injuries or emotional injuries, but the rest of the chapter didn't really follow. That line is thrown in its own paragraph as if it's got a deeper meaning, hinting at something important about to be revealed but... nothing. The beat up just kinda continues the same.

Then the mother is introduced, exposed and concluded all in one paragraph. Please remember the golden rule of writing: Show, don't tell. Show me when the mother gave in to her morale, or perhaps whatever inches of love she might have for her own daughter, and decided to confront the father finally, even if in the most spineless way possible. Or perhaps she just unluckily got in the way and paid the price? I can't tell from that one paragraph.

I also can't tell what ran through Starlight's mind during that moment. Was she confused at her mother's situation? Perhaps the tiniest bit of hope for survival or perhaps her everyday horror? What made her exactly try to stand up for her uncaring mother? Was it just pride? Heroism? Pure shock? Does she, deep down, love her and feels bad for her? I don't know!

I did really like the flashback. Pretty commonplace, but nonetheless effective. What I did not like, however, was the straight cut to the next section of the chapter. If you'll permit me an Invincible comparison (no spoilers, don't worry), which is probably one of my favourite executions of this setting (no wonder it's become an internet-wide meme), the scene goes like this:

Extreme, brutal beat up -> Flashback of happy memories -> Back to the present when things are starting to calm down.

It slowly transitions away from the heat of the conflict whilst showing the unimaginable difference between then and now.

Obviously I don't think that you intend to give the father a whole redemption arc right here, nor you should. But show what might have distracted him, or made him hold back, and gave Starlight a chance to escape. And show Starlight's rampaging thoughts as she limped her way out of that house, seeing that she was absolutely terrorised and probably feared for things to get much worse if she stayed, frightened to the point that she would rather expose her secret to Sunburst than risk staying.

Cutting right to the scene with Sunburst with the same subtlety I use to keep my critiques short (so none) kills the tension abruptedly and only creates more confusion as to what the hell is happening this night and why.

I don't really mind a lack of insight and description in more mundane scenes (even if it is good advice to always keep everything highly and properly detailed), but in a pivotal moment like this one you just have to take it slow, otherwise the reader just misses half the emotions you're trying to convey.

The rest of the chapter is decent, although there are more typos than usual and wayyy too much use of the he/she pronouns. This chapter looks a little rushed, I'm afraid to say.