Egress

by Grey Vicar

Chapter the light: the light chapter ten the light it's pretty

Warmth. Warmth to protect herself. Warmth to pass through the cruel winds. Twilight walked on cold stone, warmed from within. The mountains shied before her, their cold a distant thing before the warmth animating her limbs. It was fire. It was the heart of Canterlot she'd seen so long ago.

Canterlot has a heart she saw it when she'd been young following distant hoofsteps so distant in her mind so far so vague so persistent.

Step by step. Closer. Yet closer. Something was coming to her but she didn't know why and didn't know where it would lead her. Her guide spoke something of importance. It made her head ache.

A blinding light behind a door hidden from sight hidden from the mind hidden from everypony except her and the regal majesty of Canterlot burnt from days and nights and reigns and falls. Hidden from her except now. Not now anymore. She remembered the light peeking under the door. She remembered the light peeking through the cracks in the walls. Why were there cracks what was going on she asked her guide but she shook her head and laughed and kept moving and Twilight could not stop her despite her pleading to listen. But she couldn't stop. She was sad. She looked at her and smiled. This is my duty she said. This is my burden she said. Come I will show you she said.

She pushed the door and Twilight saw and didn't understand. Behind the door there was infinity and vistas without walls and without borders stretching beyond sight and beyond mind and in the centre of it all light permeating everything.

SEARING.

She stared and didn't understand. Her guide gently pushed her forward so she could understand. She stepped under the light. Equestria stretched under her in rolling hills and mountains and plains and cities and ponies going about their days and Twilight watched and took it all in. They were so small. Their lives was a delicate machinery. She just wanted to reach and touch and gently direct the flow of life just to see how it would go.

BURNING.

Here was something that didn't fit her mood and so she changed it. Here was something she wanted different and so she changed it. Her hooves shuffled people and places and entire seas around and her heart beat like a steam engine overflowing with heat. So much to do. So much to change. So much to do so much to change so much to do so much to change so much to do so much to do so much to do so much to do

SCORCHING.

Her back felt hot. Hotter than hot. A flame had been taken to her coat. Lava had been injected into her veins. She watched and reached for the little lives below her and felt her body melt and burst aflame like kindling and consume her mind and soul and heart and her voice was cinders and her screams were blazing coals and the peaceful world below burst into flames and a million tiny screams pierced her ears and

Comforting.

Her guide pulled her away and showed her. She gently righted the wrongs and guided the lost and forgotten and soothed the hearts of those who needed help.

Gentle.

She offered assistance. Guidance. Force was seldom used, and only lightly.

Calming.

Equestria drifted to peaceful sleep once again. The guide smiled. This was how it was done. Twilight would understand some day. Surely she would.

But she wouldn't. Twilight knew she wouldn't. The light was too strong too hot too much for her. The light consumed her as readily as a starving dragon would a little pony. She was small so small so insignificant so very very small and afraid. She turned to the guide.

The guide was gone. There was nothing but Equestria. And the light. And the warmth.

SEARING.

She couldn't tame the light and she couldn't use the light like she did and couldn't help ponies like she did but the light and the warmth brought her comfort and peace when she needed it and cleansed and purged and purified with fire and flames so warm so beautiful and pages disappeared and portraits disappeared and memories disappeared into the light and fed it and molded it and she was the light's tool now. The light knew what it needed to do to shine over Equestria. The light knew how to bring her peace. All was good. All was as it should be. Her guide would have been disappointed in her, that she never figured out how to gently direct the light, and how she had needed to give herself over to it, but she had others to help her now. All would be good.

She couldn't remember what her guide had looked like. She didn't want to remember. She had disappointed her, and so her guide had left. Twilight had been alone ever since. Lost. Only the light brought clarity to the world. Only the light warmed her, kept her going. When the light dimmed, she felt empty. She could only feed the light and keep it going, a blazing bonfire eating problems and issues and pain and bad things. It was good. She could give herself to it and it was good.

She crawled on stones she climbed up the mountain and looked at the horizon. The light was just behind and above and below and bathed her soul and heart in gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold and white. Gold and white. Don't think don't think don't think don't think don't think. Gold and white and don't think.

The light collapsed under its own weight and rebuilt itself anew over and over it passed and came and ebbed and flowed and ponies died and ponies lived and ponies lived under the light the gold and white light of gold and white and gold and white and don't think don't think don't think don't think.

The mountain was cold under her hooves and on her flesh. Biting wind. Biting snow. Biting cold. So cold. The light was tenuous here. She saw it behind the mountains. Above the mountains. Hidden in the mountains. Gold and white light. Don't think.

Part of the mountainside had broken off, and inside was gold and silver

She'd spotted the anomaly as she was halfway through the canyon with the howling winds. As she tucked herself into a crack in the wall to weather the gale, her gaze had drifted to a broken peak she could make out over the walls of the canyon. Part of it was broken, like some giant had hit it with a hammer and collapsed part of the mountain, revealing two massive veins and gold and silver.

They were like nothing Twilight had ever seen before. They twisted and wrapped around each other in peculiar ways that made her head feel fuzzy, and if she blurred her vision, the patterns melded together in something that looked far too much like a mouth open in a wordless scream. She tried not looking at it, but as the sun started to drift to the west, it hit the veins directly, making them glimmer and shine in mesmerizing ways. There was a strange relief to that exposed gold and silver, and even to that whole part of the mountain, and Twilight could swear she saw in the light of the evening the clearly defined planes of a head, twisted about the mountain in such a way that it would be unrecognizable from anywhere other than her hiding spot. It stayed with her until she'd come out of the canyon, shifting and dancing before her eyes like the stone was a living thing, watching her go curiously. Or maybe pleading to her. Her skin crawled every time she looked at it and she wished she'd just curl up and close her eyes until the feeling passed, but she forced herself to keep going. Her supplies were dwindling. Already she was running low on water, she couldn't afford to stop. But even if she drank what remained of her water, her throat still felt dry whenever her eyes would wander over that screaming face.

Even after the sun had passed, and the mountain was plunged in the shade of the late afternoon, Twilight could still see that strange, silent scream behind her closed eyes. She could hear it inside herself, pulsing inside her soul. She knew that scream. Inside her were veins of silver and gold screaming in sorrow and loss and fear. A silent scream of gold and silver. Gold and white gleaming in the sunlight. Gold and white and disappointment and sadness and betrayal and don't think don't think don't think SEARING don't think don't think don't think don't think BURNING don't think don't think don't think don't think don't think

Comments

[SuperBlank]

The intensity of this chapter was AMAZING. So much to infer from Twilight’s struggle with “gold and white” and living up to expectations. Loving this so far, looking forward to more!