You, Me, and Cozy

by bahatumay

In The Parking Lot

Wallflower sat on the steps of the school, her fingers digging rows into her jeans. She didn’t like confrontation, and this was going to be just that, so her poor introvert heart was racing. She took a deep breath to try and steady herself.

She heard Cozy approaching before she saw her. She was singing in ‘la’s to herself as she arrived, riding a pink scooter.

She slid to a dainty stop. “Hi, Wallflower,” Cozy said cheerfully, stepping off and clasping her hands in front of her body. “Isn’t it a lovely day?”

“It’s… something,” Wallflower agreed.

Cozy twisted her hips, letting her dress swish around her like a little girl unaccustomed to standing still. “So, why did you want to see me?”

Wallflower took a steadying breath. “C- can we drop the act?” she asked. “Just talk, woman to… girl?”

“It’s not an act,” Cozy insisted. She spun around on her tiptoes and gave a little curtsey. “This is the real me.”

“Then why does the real you say all those things and then pretend you said something else?” Wallflower asked. “Why do you hate me?”

“Hate you?” Cozy said, resting a hand on her chest as if surprised at her words. “Wally, I don’t hate you.” Her smile turned twisted. “You’re the easiest of all of Sunset’s friends to tease. How could I hate you?”

“You are doing it on purpose,” Wallflower breathed.

“Of course I’m doing it on purpose,” Cozy returned irritably. “Whenever I remember you’re around, anyway. You have so many self-esteem issues and you’re very manipulatable, I barely even have to try. I got you to eat, like, four times as much pie as you should have, and all it took was-” here she put on a hopeful smile and slightly widened eyes, “-and bam. Putty in my hands. The pies weren’t even that good,” she added under her breath.

“Why me?” Wallflower asked. “What did I do to you?”

“It’s not what you did to me,” Cozy said with a hint of condescension, “it’s that you literally can’t push back. And that’s what makes it fun!”

Wallflower’s brow furrowed.

“You’re just so brittle,” Cozy continued. “You probably still have to convince yourself that Sunset isn’t just going out with you out of pity.”

Wallflower winced. That was exactly her feeling put into words. Was she really such an open book to her?

Cozy bobbed her head. “See? It’s just too easy. Sunset too, actually. You know why I chose her as my mentor? She looked like an idealistic goody-goody with something to prove, like she was trying to make up for something, someone so willing to see the good in someone she’d make it up, even if it wasn’t there. And guess what? She was. I straight up lied on those meeting forms and she helped smooth everything over. I didn’t even need to ask!”

“No one says ‘goody-goody’ anymore,” Wallflower said, because she wasn’t sure what else to say.

“I say it,” Cozy said coldly, seemingly annoyed that that’s what she had focused on. “And sure, I helped hook you up with her. But only to get her out of my hair. The more time she spends with you, the less time she’s breathing down my neck.” She smirked. “Honestly, I’m surprised she went for you like… that,” she said, pointing dismissively at Wallflower’s outfit. “I was thinking I’d have to do a whole makeover, new outfit, show some cleavage, maybe even a tattoo.”

“A tattoo?” Wallflower nearly choked.

Cozy smiled. “I’m a good artist,” she offered innocently. One side of her mouth curled up. “I could have convinced you. A nice little sun, right on your patootie.”

Wallflower’s mouth dropped open. The worst part is she believed her on all counts.

“You’ve got it so bad for her, it’s actually a little pathetic. Just like Sunset and all her other friends.” Her smile turned cute again. “You can tell her I said that, if you want. But she’ll never believe you.”

And then it was Wallflower’s turn to smile. “I know,” she conceded. “But, uh, she’d believe you.” She pointed over Cozy’s shoulder.

That was their cue. The school doors opened, and a group of seven girls exited the building, each pulling off a pair of headphones connected to small belt receivers.

Cozy’s mouth fell open.

Wallflower pulled down the neck of her sweater, revealing a small microphone clipped on underneath, and lifted her sweater hem to show her own transmitter belt pack.

“Say ‘good night’, Cozy,” Pinkie said darkly. “You’re on Hot Mic.”

Cozy looked between Wallflower and the girls. “Wh-? H-?” she stammered before rounding on Wallflower. “You tricked me!” she shrieked.

“She didn’t do anything,” Rainbow said dismissively. “That was all you.”

“Your actions were completely out of line,” Rarity sniffed.

“And you shouldn’t have said those mean things,” Fluttershy added.

“We really would have been your friends,” Twilight said.

“The sad part is, Wallflower would have been your friend, too.” Sunset wrapped an arm tightly around Wallflower’s waist. “All you had to do was give her a chance.”

Wallflower’s cheeks tinged pink at the tight contact. The thoughts going through her head were definitely not about Cozy.

“I don’t want to give her a chance,” Cozy spat, clenching her fists.

Sunset pursed her lips. “I was afraid you’d say that. Well, now you won’t have to.” She pulled out a tape recorder. “I’ll be sending this straight to the coordinator. We’re done.”

“Choosing her over me, eh?” Cozy glared. “You’re a loser. You’re all losers!” she shrieked. “Your friendship is pathetic!” She looked at them one by one, pointing angrily. “Your apples are mealy and not fit for a pig, all your animals stink and deserve to end up as roadkill, you are nowhere near good enough to get paid for any sport besides streaking, your fashion designs aren’t even fit for a funeral home let alone the fashion world, the only invention you’ll ever be known for is a lonely woman personal pleasure toy because you’re just so infuriating you’ll never get a boyfriend, calling you ‘insufferable’ would be an underserved compliment, and I’ll eat my bow if you end up throwing any parties bigger than turning tricks at the corner of Sixth and Ninth! You all suck!” she finished, her voice shifting into an animalistic roar that seemed to echo across the parking lot.

There was a brief pause.

And then she stopped.

She put a smile on.

“Well, fiddlesticks,” she said resignedly. “Guess I’ll just be moving my plans up a bit, then.”

Before anyone could blink, Cozy had run across the parking lot, snatched the recorder out of Sunset’s hand, and shoved her so hard she flew through the air and hit the side of a parked car. She dropped to the ground, winded.

The girls gasped.

“Oh,” Cozy said, looking at their shocked expressions with a smug little smile on her face. “I guess there’s something else I forgot to tell you.” She reached up to her collar with both hands, grabbed tight, and ripped off her dress.

The other girls let out cries of surprise and averted their eyes.

Thankfully, Cozy Glow had not just stripped naked in public; but that was where any good news ended. For underneath, she wore what looked like a tight vest over a simple white undershirt and tight runners’ shorts, all embellished with gold thread in intricate patterns.

“Is that my spandex?” Rarity demanded.

“Forget the spandex,” Rainbow breathed. “She’s got our geodes.”

Ensconced in a small hexagonal metal shield over her chest, six familiar geodes gleamed.

“Yeah, I stole your geodes,” Cozy confessed. “It wasn’t like you were using them, anyway.”

“Give those back,” Twilight said indignantly.

“Or what?” Cozy returned, fingering one threateningly.

“That… is a fair question,” Twilight conceded uncomfortably.

But Rainbow had an answer. Cozy yelped as a soccer ball nailed her in the face, and she flinched back, the recorder dropping from her hands.

Applejack caught it and hurled it like a frisbee. Pinkie Pie snatched it out of the air and started running into the forest.

“Oh, no, you don’t!” Cozy snarled. She formed a rook-shaped shield, jumped on it, and gave chase.

Pinkie threw the tape recorder to Applejack like a game of hot potato, but Cozy was close behind. With enhanced strength, she punched down trees, sending wood splinters flying.

“You’re just students at a stupid high school! You were wasting your potential! With these, you could rule the city!” With telekinesis, she lifted an enormous rock where she thought Applejack was hiding, but came up blank. “Where are you?” she demanded.

“We’re not ponying up,” Rainbow said urgently. “Why aren’t we ponying up?”

“She’s not absorbing the magic,” Twilight realized. “We can’t cleanse her because it’s not corrupting her!”

“Using our geodes improperly does sound like corruption,” Rarity pointed out worriedly.

“So we can’t go laser rainbows on her?” Pinkie asked, getting more quickly to the point. She reached into her hair and pulled out a cupcake, which she immediately threw.

It nailed Cozy in the head, but it was just a cupcake. Cozy grabbed a chunk of frosting out of her hair. Eyes narrowed, she charged it up using Pinkie’s geode, and threw it back.

Pinkie dove out of the way, barely dodging the explosion behind her. “Because it really seems like now would be a really good laser rainbow time,” she finished urgently.

Wallflower winced. She was going to destroy her garden!

“Maybe we can talk her down,” Sunset tried.

Perhaps out of curiosity, Cozy stopped, and the geodes’ glow faded.

Sunset walked up. “Cozy,” she started gently. “I know that things haven’t been easy. But-”

Her heartfelt speech was interrupted as Cozy brought her hands up and pulled down. Sunset’s skirt fell to the ground, and she yelped in surprise.

Applejack tried to use this distraction to run deeper into the forest, but Cozy formed another rook-shaped shield and she ran into it, and hit the ground hard. The tape recorder lifted up in purple magic and Cozy caught it with a twisted smirk. She held up her other hand, and the seven girls began to glow and rise into the air.

“Sorry, girls,” she continued with faux regret. “It’s nothing personal.” Her smile turned dark. “You’re just in my way.”

And then she cried out in shock as Wallflower slammed a plastic flower pot over her head, breaking her concentration. Before Cozy could react, Wallflower tackled her, sending them both rolling down a small embankment. They tumbled down together and separated when they hit the ground.

Cozy shot up, her eyes blazing.

“Let me guess,” Wallflower said, hoping it sounded cooler than she felt, which was legitimately terrified. “You didn’t see me there.”

“No, I didn’t,” Cozy admitted coldly, “and now no one will ever see you again, you whiny sniveling sad-sack.” She flung her hand out, intending to launch her into the stratosphere.

Wallflower flinched. Honestly, she didn’t have a plan further than this, and she hoped Sunset would come to her funeral.

But she remained firmly on the ground.

Cozy tried again, but nothing happened. She glanced down and to her shock, realized that her metal bracket was gone, the straps holding it onto her vest torn off in the fall. She looked up to see seven girls with seven geodes gleaming. Twilight held hoses in her magic. Applejack hit her fists together. Fluttershy held an imposing-looking bird on her shoulder. Pinkie held another cupcake that was positively glowing with magic.

Rarity’s shields sparked into existence around her. “Next time, try a backstitch,” she suggested icily.