You, Me, and Cozy

by bahatumay

Pregame

“Stop pacing!” Cozy hissed.

“I’m nervous!” Wallflower squeaked. “There are so many ways this could go wrong!”

“There really are,” Cozy agreed.

Wallflower squeaked again. Not helping!

Not wrong

“But it’ll be fine! Just remember, masturbate.”

“What?!”

“It’s just a date,” Cozy said slowly. “Why, what did you hear?”

“Nothing,” Wallflower said. “But see, I want it to be more than just a date.”

“That’s fine! You just have to be straightforward with what you want. Say, ‘I love you, Sunset, so watch me pee’.”

“I’m not saying that,” Wallflower said, aghast.

“What? ‘Go out with me’ is simple and can’t be misunderstood. And you have to be clear. No more beating around the bush.”

“I thought you said… never mind.”

“Oh, goodness.” Cozy sighed and patted Wallflower’s head. “You’re so stressed, you’re mishearing things,” she simpered. “I know it’s scary, and there’s a non-zero chance that you’ll have your heart ripped out and stomped on-”

Wallflower choked.

“-but don’t worry. You’ll be just fine.” She slid off her seat. “And just to prove I believe in you, I got these.” She walked over to her closet and pulled out a vase of roses.

Wallflower blinked. She gently brushed a fingertip against the petals. These were nice roses.

Like, really nice.

“That’s pricey for a young girl,” she said, too late realizing that that was aloud.

“I save all my pennies,” she said cutely, clasping her hands together and rocking her body.

“Thanks,” Wallflower said, feeling a little overwhelmed.

---

Wallflower cut her last class and went straight to the garden. She needed something stable, someplace safe, and here she was.

But she was still so distracted!

She jumped as she heard Rose’s voice behind her. “Whoa, Wallflower, what are you planting?”

Wallflower looked down and realized that she’d been distractedly digging a deep hole with her spade. She sat back on her heels. “It’s nothing,” she lied.

Rose gave her a sideways look, and Muffins folded her arms.

Feeling outnumbered, Wallflower caved. She explained what Cozy had said (leaving out what she’d thought she’d said).

Rose scoffed. “I don’t know why you’re taking romantic advice from a girl who dresses like she’s from a sitcom my grandma would watch.”

Well, when she put it like that.

“Look. You’re a nice girl. But you’re just not my type. And Muffins likes guys, so you’re missing a little something she wants.” She held her thumb and pointer apart.

Wallflower blushed.

And then Muffins held her hands up, but spaced further apart.

Wallflower choked, and it sounded like Rose did, too.

Muffins’ cheeks turned slightly pink, but she didn’t lower her hands.

“I did not ask-” Rose sputtered before shaking her head. “Moving on! The point is: we wouldn’t have agreed to go to dinner with you.”

They hate you

“But Sunset did. The hard part is already over. She already agreed to go. She has to like you. At the very least, it’s on the table. You’re in your own head too much. Just be yourself.”

“I don’t like myself,” Wallflower blurted before she could stop herself.

“Well, Sunset does,” Rose returned. “And unless you think Sunset is a fool for agreeing to dinner with you-”

Wallflower’s eyes widened as this thought occurred to her. She was right! She must have been an idiot to think-

She let out a cry as water hit her face, shocking her back into coherence. Muffins had scooped a handful out of a watering can and tossed it at her.

“Muffins is right. You are overthinking this.”

“I think I’m thinking it just the right amount,” Wallflower protested. “There are so many ways this could go wrong-”

“And so many ways it could go right,” Rose countered.

Wallflower sighed. Then, a new idea occurred to her. “What if I wrote out what I was going to say beforehand? That should be safe, right?”

Rose and Muffins shared a look. Muffins gave her a noncommittal shrug and looked away.

Rose turned back to Wallflower. “We’ll allow it,” she hedged, “but only because it’s your first time. Next time, just speak from the heart. I still think you should try it now. I think you’ll get further than you think.”

Wallflower thought she was wrong, but she didn’t say that aloud. Instead, she nodded, her mind already starting to work out what to say.

Comments

[PresentPerfect]

And then Muffins held her hands up, but spaced further apart.

And they say you can't write visual gags in a textual medium. :3