welcome to Dise, we have dances and bullets for your brain!
I'm bringing sexy back
The rest of the trip was a smooth ride (ignoring a few choice encounters with more Caledonian locals), both mares taking in the grandness of the Caledonian wastes. As they drove the shadow of the city loom closer and closer into view, its surviving casinos rising above the wasteland almost looking down upon it in shame. Only the rich and powerful could partake in their glory. But one stood above the rest, a tower that loomed above the great ‘last’ city lording over it, its tip was the head of a pink mare with blue eyes that watched the entire Wasteland forever.
“So how are you and soldier buck doing?” Rampage sat back with one hoof on the will as they drove around pits left from the war. Her shades barely hiding the eerie glow under her eyes. “How long until he puts a bun in the oven?”
Lacunae rolled her eyes, after 35 years of the striped mare’s vulgar humor she had built up an immunity to such things. “You know Artslote never in the 20 years of your marriage did I ever walk into your living room and ask. ‘How is your day Artslote, is your sex life good?’”
Rampage faked offensive at the mark as she barely held back laughter. “How could you say that Luu? We friends, I would never hide anything from you! If you had asked me about Priest dick size I would have told you his size length! In fact, I would have let you check-”
“Artslote Brown! Elements damn it you're as bad as Blackjack!” Lacunae could barely hold her drink as she coughed and laughed at the same time. Even after so long the strange mare still found a way to get under her stoic wall.
Rampage just smiled back in victory. “Hey, I ain’t a prev! My hoe days were years ago Luu. I found god remember” She paused a moment, letting words hang there. “By getting on my knees and praying under a cleric’s cloth.”
Lacunae spit up her drink and held a hoof to her mouth as the cough filled laughter came out. “You..You need help. You aren’t right Artslote!”
“What? do I need to go to church?” Lacunae didn’t have to look at Rampage to feel her grinning from ear to ear.
“No, stay away from the church. You're a demon corrupting the holy folk.”
“Hey, we didn’t choose Demon Mares for nothing.”
The discussion was cut short when a shot rang out. A bullet bouncing off the invisible shield surrounding the wagon. Both mare's attention darted to the source, a unicorn wearing a blue uniform stood atop a wall made from scrap metal and old buildings that seemed to stretch on a few miles. He held a sniper rifle in his magical grip and was flanked on all sides by ponies wearing similar armor.
All of them were clustered around a makeshift gate with rifles pointed at the newcomers, some of them taking pot shots around the wagon as it approached. The message was clear, leave or get shot.
Rampage sighed, it was a usual greeting she and her companion got in the wastes but having to deal with this on vacation was the height of annoyance.
“Luu work your magic and try to get us through this. I don’t feel like fighting the whole damn city on my week off.”
The alicorn sighed but nodded, being a powerful alicorn came with perks to getting what you wanted in the Wasteland, and Lacunae was a master of it. They stopped the wagon a few yards away from the gate, choosing to approach the diplomatic way rather than the usual flying crate trick. As they trotted to the gate a loud voice boomed at them.
“STOP RIGHT THERE, TAKE ANOTHER STEP AND WE BLAST YOU TO THE MOON!” A light orange mare barked at them through a microphone. She stood in a booth near the gate with a turret atop it. “STATE YOUR BUSINESS IN DISE FREAKS OR FACE FIRING SQUADS!”
Lacunae stepped up, making a few of the guards ready their weapons. She spoke with the gentleness of a kind nun. “We are simple tourists from Equestria, nothing more. We’ve come a far way and wish to relax in Celestia’s Paradise." The attention seemed to hang in the air like a knife, no pony moved, no pony said anything except for the mare in the boot, who seemed to be speaking into some device on her ear.
“YOU ARE TO BE BROUGHT IN FOR QUESTION UNTIL WE DETERMINE THE NATURE OF YOUR GOALS HERE. ANY REFUSAL WILL BE MET WITH FORCE!” The clicking of several guns said there would be no arguing.
Lacunae sighed, it seemed she would have to use an old trick.
You don’t need to question us.
The light orange mare stopped, just staring off into nothing then shouted into the microphone. “ACTUALLY WE DON’T NEED TO QUESTION YOU.”
We will just check your gear and vehicle, if we find nothing of note then you can be on your way.
“WE WILL JUST CHECK YOUR AND VEHICLE IF WE FIND NOTHING OF NOTE THAN YOU CAN BE ON YOUR WAY.”
The light orange mare was getting funny looks from her fellow soldier but none questioned her as she gestured to a few to comply with what she just said. A little later the Alicorn and her striped friend were driving their wagon through the gate and into the lovely sight of what could best be described as a ghetto.
“That took a while.” Rampage huffed as she looked around the makeshift town. it wasn’t much different from the usual wasteland slum, ponies barely surviving, most looking poor or barely making ends meet. The town didn’t lack in junkies, they clung to the alleys, their dirtiness even more pronounced than the other bystanders, whores of all shapes and sizes walked the street selling their ‘goods’. But all that mattered not as all eyes, poor, junkie, whore fell on the strange newcomers to their newly. “Sure you couldn’t have used your powers to let us just through the gate?”
“No.” Lacunae tried not to stare at the ponies that came from everywhere to look at them, she could feel their eyes barreling into her. She didn’t have to read their thoughts to know what they were thinking, it was the same stare she got everywhere she went. Had Luna, one of the goddesses returned to the wasteland? Had they come to save us?’
Lacunae knew those stares and every time she saw them it ate at her. “N-no Arloste.” Finally getting her mind back on the conversation. “If I just made her let us in, her friends would have expected something.” Lacunae at this point were just searching for anything to drown out the growing crowd. “The art of deception requires subtlety to work, not brute force.”
Rampage was none plus by the crowd gathering to look at them. To her being the freak pony in a group was her life experience, but she took note of her friend’s growing worries. “Say Luu I heard there was a place called the Ale House that has a fighting arena.” She smiled at her old buddy. “My friend minty told me about it. You can get drinks and watch me destroy zeebs.”
The alicorn nerves seemed to calm a little, she gave a faint smile knowing full well what Rampage was doing. “That sounds nice Arloste. I-”
“STOP!” The attention of both mares shot forth as a strange voice yelled out. Rampage put her hoof down on the brake making the vehicle violently stop jolting its passengers forward. As the two mares regained their composure their eyes fell upon the strangest sight in the wastes.
A gathering of ‘mares’ blocked the road a yard away from the wagon. They wore gaudy black, white, and pink striped dresses. Their manes were uniform white with pink goggles stripped over their eyes, music blasted from a boombox one of the mares’ carried. “What is this?” one of the ‘mares’ a dull blue one, sauntered up to the driver's side.
“What the fuck.” Rampage was feeling a weird mix of interest with confusion while Lacunae just went silent at the moment. “Holy shit Luu, this town is run by breakdancers.” Rampage’s confusion continued to grow as what appeared to be the leader approached her wagon door.
She spoke with a strange accent where her Ws and Ss were slurred. “My, my. It’s not every day such, strange and unique guests come to town." The mares trotted with a swing of a model on a runway, her composure radiating confidence. “For who do I, Photo Finish, owe this pleasure of welcoming to our fabulous town?”
Lacunae mouthed the name silently, her brown scratching up as she looked at the mare deep in thought. Rampage didn’t know what to make of the weirdo, but she loved weird and felt compelled to add to the absurdness of the situation. “Well, I’m.” Rampage beat her hoof against her chest dramatically. “Arloste Brown, the fourth deadliest pony in the Hoof, the Rampaging zony of the Hoofington region.'' Photo seemed taken aback by all that but let Rampage continue. “This is Lacunae, the angel of Unity, priestess of some weird dead religion, powerful Alicorn, and all-around sob.” The stripe mare raised a hoof to her friend.
Lacunae whinny at that last part. The alicorn looked Photo Finish over intensely, her mind deep in thought as the dressed-up mare eyed them both. “My, my I didn’t know such mares of...high status would be visiting my town.” The faint hint of worry could be heard in Photo’s voice, the mare didn’t know much about the northern Wasteland outside Dise but heard of Hoofington. If half the horror stories were true these ponies are something to be feared. “Well darlings I mean no offense but why are you here?”
“We’re simple tourists, Ms. Finish.” Lacunae finally spoke, her gaze softening after seemingly coming to a conclusion about something. “We’re just here on vacation for a week, simply blowing off steam.” the gentleness in Lacunae seemed to put the dressed up mare at ease a little. “We’re not here to cause any pony trouble.” Lacunae looked to a crumbling building to her far left. “No need to have a sniper ready to drop us.”
Photo Finish almost went pale, her thoughts racing as she tried to respond to that. How had she known about the sniper? Was this alicorn thing all seeing? Did she read Photo’s mind? Could she see through walls?
Before she could say anything the alicorn cut her off. “It is alright miss Finish, we are used to such greetings in our travels. Our appearances leave quite an impression on ponies. The fact you chose to talk to us directly rather than attack or threaten us shows that you have a lot of civility to you.” Lacunae smiled warmly at her. “Truly the Photo Finish of the old world would shed a tear to see such ponies have taken up her image with such grace and beauty and such good fashion sense.”
Photo fell on her rump, her accent falling away as she was driven speechless. “Eh...eh thanks.” Very few times had Photo had left stun by some pony, this alicorn goddess thing seemed so smooth and calming yet Photo felt afraid of her. The fact she knew about the original Photo Finish showed she was a knowledgeable pony yet she spoke as if she met her.
“Eh, yes, yes!” Photo couldn’t let her gang or the townsfolk see their leader lose composure, she quickly regained her accent, bowing to the two visitors. “Well, this has been as you say, an interesting meeting. You darlings are welcome in the golouris town of Parasite Mound as long as you cause no problems. If you need our help you can find us at our Gallery of fashion.”
With that, the blue mare started to trot off gesturing to her followers to pack things up. That's when a loud “Hey!” stopped her in her tracks.
When Photo turned to see who was calling on her, she saw Rampage grinning ear to ear. “Did you say fashion gallery?”
The question wasn’t what Photo expected but the mare was always up for talking about her pride and joy. “Why yes darlings,” she said while holding her nose high and swinging her hair. “The Finishers are the bringers of civilization and manners through the art of fashion, by bringing back fashion we can bring back all the socialization that is inherent in it.”That answer made the striped mare smile even more.
She turned to her friend, practically radiating excitement. “Luu, I think we’re starting out our vacation here.”
------
The music blasted throughout the building like thunder during a storm, its beat pounding to the rhythmic flashing of stroll lights. The light fell on a runway with various colors creating a rainbow effect along the surface. Around the runway, various Finishers were cheering with some getting cameras ready. Lacunae sat in the middle of all of it, to her left sat Pear wine, and farther than that was Photo Finish waiting eagerly.
“Come out Ms. Arloste, the world is ready for your grace!” Photo Finish was beaming at this, her excitement was more contained than the rest of her followers but the joy of having a new model was beyond her wildest dreams.
The curtains opened revealing a stunning sight. Rampage wore a dress that wrapped around her body like a big scarf, its color pattern matching that of zebra stripes but these painted red and white, running along the platten were flower symbols painted the opposite of the stripe it was on. The ends of the dress hung below her flank like a flap, which seemed to shake with the slightest movement.
To top off the look Rampage wore a hat that matched the pattern of the dress but with the fine addon of feathers and spikes.
“Ah!” The shout made Lacunae look to her side, Photo just gasping in disbelief, her muttering silent words and moans. “She is...beyond beautiful.”
Rampage began trotting onto the walkway, her hips swung with force, her nose held high, and a trot like a pimp walking down the street. Finishers were singing her praises, cameras flashed, Rampage owed that walkway like a queen walking to her throne.
Lacunae chuckled a bit. Death commando one day, fashion queen the next. You really are something Arloste, just like your mother.
When Rampage approached the end of the roadway she struck a pose! Standing on her hind legs while her left hoof pointed up in the air and the other on her hips. The crowd went wild, hoof stomps followed cheering overpowered the music playing. Photo Finish got up and joined the cheering. “Encore Darling, Encore!”
Rampage struck another pose, this time blowing a kiss to all her admires. “Ah, you want more of this striped goodness huh?” Rampage started trotting back to the curtain with the same pimp walk. “Well, who am I to deny you. Get another dress and I’ll keep this show going.”
With a heavy sigh, Lacunae took a sip from her wine glass. “This is going to be an all-nighter it seems.”
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10705008
Shall i explain?
Okay? What did Blackjack do that she wasn't with those two?!
10705010
She fucked up a liquor delivery.
10705009
yes.
10705015
Seriously, that's it?! 😑
10705016
a ego shooter with anti-terrorist units Vs terrorists but the reference i meant is simple. When starting one of the counter-terrorist factions has this starting quote
10705023
8,000 caps worth of liquor.
10705207
Dang! So this is a punishment? By not going with them for the fun and mayhem?