Odd's Oubliette: Otherwise Obsolete Oddities

by Odd_Sarge

DR1: Man falls off a mountain and right onto the pony planet. Bat ensues.

Author's Note:

6-7-20 to 8-19-20.
I gave up on publishing this one standalone due to a few reasons that should be readily clear: it wasn't going to be groundbreaking and unique, and it was mostly to sate my thirst for a Fillydelphia HiE.

There are two chapters to this story, and I think they are both fairly good for what could have been a fairly run-of-the-mill HiE. In any case, this chapter is a meaty little thing that goes beyond the word limit I naturally tend toward (~2000).

Overall, this story is interesting to look back on, and it might be something I write on my own time.

Also, Dusk Ruby is a generated pony that I found and edited, which ended in someone posting her on Derpibooru. And I love her.

I will hold full accountability for the fangs and freckles I gave her, and the chance to live and breathe in this story.

When I was a kid, I used to dream of wide open meadows. Wildflowers would stretch from every corner of my view. Off into the mountains, and into the deepest riverbanks, color flowed freely from every orifice of the world. Nature was something so idyllic to me, and the moment I found myself back in the countryside after 20 odd years was one I couldn’t forget.

This planet is far from Earth, to be certain. But I can’t imagine myself away from rural Equestria anymore.

The ironic thing about all of this is that I started out in one of the biggest cities on the pony-side of the universe. Now, of course you wouldn’t expect to hear this after I unloaded on you about the beauty of natural order, but Manehattan is one heck of a place. We had skyscrapers back on Earth, mind you—ponies weren’t the first to prosper—but I was and still am pretty damn impressed with how much quadrupeds could accomplish, especially given their size comparative to the city builders I knew.

Magic definitely plays a role in that regard; ponies have pulled off a plethora of amazing feats. Those pegasi likely guided the steel beams lifted by the unicorns, and the earth ponies clung to those beams like glue as they welded them together, with lightning-fueled torches and unicorn stasis as precision. If you’ve read up on Hearthswarming and the world before the Equestria of today, you’d be struck by just how far they’ve come.

And I suppose that’s why I can easily call these ponies my neighbors; I’ve found that humanity and ponykind aren’t too far off.

---

It all began with a fall.

I fell out of the sky, that is.

Okay, not really, I'm pulling your leg. I fell off a mountain.

I was a pretty determined little bastard when I was young. Mountain climbing was a favorite pastime of mine even before I knew the fun involved in it. I’d run off after supper and go climbing through the playground downtown, prompting stares from the rest of the kids on the city block. In my teens, a friend offered to take me out to the Rockies for a weekend getaway. That was the best weekend of my life, and probably the best time of my life on Earth, ever.

And it ultimately led to me climbing the Rockies one last time, and falling off the mountain. I lost my grip—the chalk on my hands didn’t help all that much up there—and went cascading. I couldn’t hold back the scream I let loose, and so I tumbled, screaming all the while.

After about fifteen seconds, I was suddenly jerked upwards into unconsciousness.

---

“Wake up...”

When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to find myself on the ground; a bright, blue, cloudless sky greeted me.

“Come on, wake up…”

The feminine voice called from somewhere above me; I rolled my eyes upward to get my eyes on her.

I froze when I saw that it wasn’t the usual suspect.

The rubbing motions on both sides of my head stopped as we made eye contact. ‘She’ pulled her dark gray appendages away, and fixed me with an uneasy smile. Her fangs jut out at me.

“Can you hear me?”

I nodded numbly as my eyes strained from the odd angle.

She laughed. It was a very sharp, chittering kind of laugh, but it was tinged with good-natured cheer. “Well, I’m happy about that! I wasn’t sure if you were just somepony’s pet, so it’s good to know the clothes aren’t just for show.”

“A… a pet?” Pony? Wait… “You’re not… human.”

“No,” she said, her demeanor falling as I rolled over in the grass to sit up. “I’m a pony. A bat pony, actually.”

I rubbed the back of my head and looked at her. My jaw dropped. “Holy shit.”

The confirmed pony (but actually bat pony) had a large crimson mane—which was tinged with a few locks of magenta and violet at the front and side of her head—that rolled down her neck. Her dark fur was mottled with hints of pink in the sunlight, and two scars accentuated the trick of the light: one extending from her right eye up the bridge of her snout; and one extending down from her left eye toward a cluster of three freckles. At the top of her head, two gray ears sprouted forth, brimming with fluffy fur. My eyes jumped to the tiny fangs at the roof of her mouth, and then to her eyes; evidently, she had heterochromia, as her left eye was a dim emerald green, and her right was a blazing orange.

“Damn,” I muttered. “You’re a pony, alright.”

Her cheeks darkened in a blush. “Well? How are you feeling?”

“Fine. Just dandy.” I shook myself. “Just had a nasty fall. Which…” I paused. “you…”

“Which I saved you from?” she grinned. “Well, you can thank these!” Standing, she turned to show me her side. I stared at the pair of wings. They were leathery, and looked quite sturdy. They also matched the fur of her coat.

“You were pretty heavy, especially that bag of yours, but it was no big issue since it meant saving somepony’s life!” She flexed her gray wings for emphasis.

“I… wow.” I clutched my chest, and looked back up at the sky. “Wow.”

“So! You're a traveler, right? That’s what that big bag of gear is for, isn’t it?” She tilted her head, studying me. “And to be honest, I’ve never really seen a creature like you.”

“Ha, same could be said about you for me.”

“What? You’ve never seen a bat pony before? We’re actually—”

“Wait, wait, wait just a second!” I stood suddenly, and looked around, suddenly conscious of the fact that I was speaking to a flying pony that had just saved my life. “I didn’t even know ponies could talk! Where even am I?”

The surroundings were picturesque: lush green fields lit by a brilliant sun, and scattered with beautiful, vibrant flowers of all kinds of colors. The sun steadily rose in the east over great fields of golden wheat and rye, casting its rays across the evergreen forest to the west. My breathing hitched as I took it all in, and the pony spoke up behind me.

“Um, Equestria? You were hiking on Foal Mountain, you know?” She paused. “Or did you not know?”

“Listen…” I turned again and walked up to the pony, an index finger outstretched. “I know what mountain I was on, and it most definitely was not ‘Foal’ Mountain,” I spat.

“No, I guess it wasn’t.” She moved her head to the side and nibbled at her bottom lip. “You… you really haven’t heard of Equestria? Or even seen a pony before?”

“No,” I said. “I swear to God.”

The pony flinched.

“What?” She mumbled something. “Come on, speak up!”

“Don’t you mean ‘I swear to Celestia?’” She quickly shrank in.

My mouth fell open again and I blubbered for a bit. “What?”

“Sorry! I know other creatures have different idols, but it just slipped out!” she cried profusely as she managed to shrink further.

I blinked as I watched her shrivel up. My hands wavered, and I unclenched my fists. “I… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I’m not usually like this.” I slumped down on my ass and looked back toward the eastern fields. “God… damn it, I’m sorry.” I set my head in my hands as I rested my elbows on my knees.

The grass rustled under the weight of her steps as she crept up to me.

“Hey.” Her voice was quiet and soothing. “Hey, look at me.” She placed a hoof on my knee.

I lifted my head. Her green-and-orange eyes pierced mine. From this close, I could see an otherworldly glimmer in them.

“Listen to me.” Her words were still a bit shaky, but she steeled herself with a breath and carried on. “I know you don't know me, but I'm going to try my best to tell you who I am.” She smiled. “It’s easier to talk if we’re more than strangers. Does that sound okay?”

I breathed. “Yeah.” I nodded. “Okay.”

She kept her silence and smile. She sat her rump down across from me, her wings folding in. Then, she began: “My name is Dusk Ruby. I’m a bat pony, and a native of Fillydelphia, Equestria. I was born in the year of 988 of the Equestrian calendar, and I’m currently twenty-one years-old. I like long-flights during the early morning, and…” she giggled briefly, “mangoes are my favorite fruit.”

As she spoke, I couldn't help but stare, captivated by her incredibly human-like features. Her face had a distinctly human appeal to it, and yet, her body portrayed otherwise. She waited patiently for me to speak.

“My… my name is Jim. Jim Miller. I’m a human, and uh… I was born in Bethesda, Maryland, but I’m really not a uh, ‘native’ to anywhere in particular. I was born in the year 1992 of the… Gregorian calendar, so I’m currently twenty-eight years old. I like taking things apart, and an apple does me just fine.”

“You like taking things apart? Why?”

“Because I get to see how they work. It's fun.” I shrugged. “I like... finding things out. If I didn't take things apart, I wouldn't know anything.”

She tilted her head to the side and gazed at me with her bright eyes. After a brief silence, she spoke. “Have you ever wondered how things work? Like, really work? You know, the world, Equestria, everything?”

“I have indulged once or twice.”

“I do it all the time, but I've never had somepony I could... talk to about it.”

I mulled over her words for a moment. “Well, I'm a good listener.”

Dusk’s ears perked up. “Really? You’d listen?”

My smile tentatively drooped. “After I figure out what’s going on? Yeah. We can talk.”

“Oh. Right.” Dusk’s gaze flicked westward, and I followed her focus to the mountain close by. “That’s Foal Mountain. There’s a lot of great thermals around there, so I ride the currents whenever I have time. It’s a bit of a flight from the Fillydelphia outskirts to there, but it’s worth it… especially since I was able to, you know, save you.”

“Thank you, again, really.” Dusk hummed in reply, and I sighed. “I just don’t know how I got all the way up there. I just lost my grip and then… bam. Lights out.”

Dusk gave a sheepish laugh. “When I caught you, your body went from stiff to limp fast.”

“I probably probably blanked out on the force of the impact,” I theorized. “I was panicking pretty bad, to be fair.”

“I can only imagine!” Dusk said, horrified. “Us bat ponies—oh, and pegasi, sometimes our hearts just give way and our wings get locked in freefall. I’ve never had that happen to me, but for somepony without wings to go through freefall?” She set her hoof on my right shoulder. “You’re going to be okay, right?”

“Yeah.” I reached up and squeezed her hoof. I kept my eyes on the mountain. “Yeah, I’m gonna be okay.”

The sun inched over the eastern horizon. It bathed the western mountains with a fiery embrace, and we watched it slowly creep over the peak of the mountain.

“Equestria, huh? Beautiful place.”

She hummed again, and we sat there, my hand on her hoof, watching the sun paint over the snow-capped mountain.

I was broken out of my reverie by the lack of feeling on my back. She removed her hoof from my shoulder as I checked my shoulders for my bag’s straps.

“Your bag’s over there.” I stood and moved over to my bag as Dusk continued. “I hope you don’t mind, but I looked through it a bit to see if you had anything that could tell me, um, who you are.” She paused. “I’ve never seen a bag like that before. There’s a lot of space for things. And the straps were hard to pull open, which is a good thing… I think.”

“They’re zippers,” I explained, moving out of the way to show her. “Top ones the ones you struggled with?” She nodded. “Yeah, they’re a bit scuffed, but a little bit of force gets them open just as easy as the rest.”

I unzipped the bag, and gave my things a brief once over: I still had my one-person Kodiak canvas tent, a fresh set of clothes, a small stash of bottled water, some perishables, and my notebook and pens. My thermos and nylon climbing rope and pegs were missing, though; they had been on the sides of my backpack, so it was more than likely that they’d been flung off during my fall.

“Everything okay?”

“Yup, missing a few things, but nothing too major. I’ll live.” I slipped the backpack on, and gave a grunt as I adjusted to the familiar weight. “Nice.”

“It looks great on you!” I looked down at my khaki shorts and sweaty blue-polyester tank-top. Thankfully, my tan hiking boots still hugged my feet tightly.

“Thanks.” I shrugged the bag.

Dusk yawned suddenly. I smiled as she blinked rapidly through a blush. “Sorry, I’m usually back home and asleep by now.”

“That’s alright. I’m sorry you had to spend your free time saving a guy’s life. That being said…” I looked east toward the fields. “I think I need to get my bearings. And I’d rather not be on a mountain right now.”

“Well, I’m living Fillydelphia, and there should be somepony there who can help you figure out what’s going on.”

“Anywhere with more people… er, ponies, has got to be better than standing here letting daylight burn.” I made a motion with my hand toward her. “Lead the way.”

With that, Dusk took off—something that seemed impossible given her visible weight and the size of her wings—and veered off on a steady but manageable pace toward the eastern fields.

---

We eventually hit a dirt road that wrapped around the fields, and Dusk Ruby landed to trot alongside me. Dusk explained that the winter harvest was almost done, and true to her word, we came to pass the fields in the middle of being threshed and processed—there were even some ponies working in the field that cool winter morning—and eventually past the already harvested fields. Soon enough, the skyline of a metropolitan city came into view, much to my relief; while I could live off of very little, I was no ascetic.

The fields gave way to thatched-roofed buildings, and the road smoothed out. Then, the thatched-roofed buildings gave way to stone, and the roads to cobblestones. Up ahead, the buildings turned to brick and metal, successively taller, but we stopped before that in front of one of the larger stone buildings.

“This is where I live.” Dusk pointed to one of the windows on the second floor of the three-story building. “That’s my place right there: up the first flight on the left. The address is 657 Evening Crest Road. When you get things sorted, you can come drop by and see me anytime you’d like!” She was visibly beaming. “Of course, I have work late at night, but if you drop by in the late afternoon or early evening, you can’t miss me!”

We moved on from the interesting duplex and into the heart of the city.

I steeled myself as more ponies emerged from their homes to continue their day. I received passing looks, but nothing too lingering. I had hoped that Dusk would cover for me in the event that we were harrassed, but thankfully, no ponies came forward. Up the blocks we went, and so too did the number of stories in the city’s buildings. Dusk told me that they weren’t even the tallest buildings in Equestria—just to the south, there was a city named ‘Manehattan’ that supposedly had highrises everywhere. But I was already impressed: the ponies had managed to build what appeared to be a typical modern city that wouldn’t look out of place in a twentieth-century America.

In the middle of the city, we reached our destination; an honest to God police department. Well, it was more of a depot. Fillydelphia Station was a stout two-story red-brick building that melded perfectly into the block of various commercial businesses. Ponies in sets of gold and blue armor moved to-and-fro; some ponies entered through the pair of swinging glass doors, and others were clearly setting out on patrols along Fillydelphia’s sidewalks. Dusk and I crossed the street and approached the station. We were given even less attention than when we had entered the city.

Passing through the glass doors unhindered, Dusk approached the counter. A peach-coated unicorn with a purple mane sat behind the glass barrier; like all of the other ponies, she was decorated in armor, hers being of the golden variety. She finished up with her paper and quill as I pulled up behind Dusk.

“Aura Gleam!” Dusk beamed. “I haven’t seen you in forever!”

Gleam rolled her eyes. “You say that every time you come in here, Ruby. Which is too often, might I add.”

“Hmph! Those flying ordinances are total haywash, and you know it!”

Gleam laughed. “Saddle down, filly.” Her eyes landed on me. “I see you have a… friend.”

“Morning, officer,” I greeted.

Gleam laughed lightly at that. “I’m blessedly not.” She gave me a curt nod. “Corporal Gleam. A friend of Ruby is a friend of mine.”

“Well that’s great, because I’m—” Dusk failed to suppress a yawn “—really tired, and I would hate to leave Jim without a nice pony to help him.”

“You’re leaving?” I asked her.

“Yeah,” she began. “But don’t worry! Gleam is a good pony, she’ll help you! If you’re going to stay in town or leave, though, just drop by, okay?” She pressed a hoof to my shoulder. “Stay safe, Jim.”

I leant down. “Thank you again. For everything,” I whispered to her. I gave her a quick hug with an arm—which she willingly returned with her own foreleg—and watched her slip back through the front doors.

“Huh.” I turned back around and walked up to Gleam. “You must have a story to tell, Jim. Dusk doesn’t talk to too many ponies, you know?”

“It’s a good thing I’m not a pony, then.”

Aura Gleam went back to smiling. “Fair enough! So, how can I help you?”

“I’m a bit… lost.”

She tilted her head. “Do you need a map, or…?”

I sighed. “Let me put it this way: I have never heard of Equestria, or known that you ponies existed, until today.”

Gleam’s eyes widened. Her horn, which had been lit with a cloud of yellow earlier, lit once more as a filing cabinet behind her opened. Everything was lit with a cloud of yellow as a fresh sheet of paper whisked its way through the air to meet Gleam’s levitating quill.

“Jim, I have a feeling you and I are going to be learning a lot today.”

Comments

[Venerable Ro]

Everything was lit with a cloud of yellow as a fresh sheet of paper whisked its way through the air to meet Gleam’s levitating quill.

Evidently they have a form for that.

[lazyreader19]

I gave up on publishing this one standalone due to a few reasons that should be readily clear: it wasn't going to be groundbreaking and unique,

well darn. There goes my popcorn lol

Good chapter though, nice ponies too.