Page generated in 0.054 seconds
Total duration
951 users online
354,335 hits today, 2,987,370 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Huh... somehow that's actually WORSE than what I was expecting.
10644021
Remember when I said I didn't like this ending?
Yeah, I don't like this ending. That's why I kept the other one.
And you want to know what really bugs me about this ending? SX Chapter the Forty-First. *Shudders in disgust* Remember what I tried to do with Steelhorn. Remember why he died in the other ending.
10644033
The funny thing is, I don't mind a good mind control/bimbo story (even ones that have a "bad" ending), but with the way this fic was going, the other ending definitely feels more satisfying.
10644055
Oh, yeah. Mind control/bimbo endings are great. IF and only if, you built up to it.
The problem is really the potion. It's aptly named, the deus ex machina.
When I started the story, I didn't have an ending for the story, and the outline only went as far as Ponyville. As chapter four went up, I pitched the DX ending, and was told that he/she/it didn't like that Steelhorn dies. He was supposed to conquer the princesses and have them as concubines, not have a tragic ending that makes the reader like him. I retorted that I could just do what they do in their stories, and just have a potion that solves all the problems when the princesses drink it. The sarcasm must not have come across, though, as the response was "That's perfect. Use that ending. I love it."
So that's how this ending came about.
10644082
Oof.
I feel like there was a way to both make Steelhorn likable AND have him keep the princesses. Maybe a time skip to when he gained his victory, and show that with his improvements to Equestria's security, Canterlot is actually better with him in charge.
But it's far too late for something like that, and i doubt you'd want to give this a THIRD ending.
10644089
Yeah, only way I'd put that together is to go all the way back to the siege of Canterlot and let the meeting occur. He's allowed to keep Luna every other week.
With that ending, I'd also give Arrow a crisis of character, and he runs away from the Hornburg. Boneshatter chases after him, only to find him weeping in the glen where they came together for the first time. He's scared and unsure, and Boneshatter sits down and talks with him. They find comfort in each other, and build a life on their own out there. With Steelhorn's blessing, of course. They share a cabin and spend their days free of stress among nature. Then one night, after Bone leaves to talk to Steelhorn again, a storm rolls in. A viscious one. Bone returns to the cabin to find Arrow sleeping in his bed, and the two spend a night of passion together. After that, they're surprised that mothing really changed. They're still the same characters, they just sleep together now.
Romantic.
But no, no third ending. I've been here over a month now, I want to finish up and go to my next project.
10644101
Yeah, that ending would definitely have made more sense than this one, and could arguably be even happier than the DX ending we did get.
But, yeah, it's understandable that you're done after this one.