The one where Rainbow Dash is weird

by Brosif1357

The Rainboom Experiment

"Can't we hurry this along?" Rainbow Dash complained as Twilight fastened the last straps of the measuring device. "You know, I'm regretting offering to help now."

It was a beautiful day, with not a cloud in the sky. Due to the nature of this experiment, Twilight had taken them to an isolated field of Sweet Apple Acres. After all, Sonic Rainbooms could be quite the hearing hazard.

"Done," Twilight stepped back to survey the dials and wires of the bulky harness. Rainbow Dash twisted around, trying to find a more comfortable way to carry the extra weight.

"So can I go now?"

"Not just yet. I have to calibrate the measuring devices," Twilight dragged Rainbow Dash over to a larger ground-based device. She meticulously checked each and every device, from the timekeeper to the thermometer. And each device's three redundant systems. With science, you could never be too certain.

Now came the time synchronisation. This was very important, since without it Twilight would could not accurately compare the ground and aerial results. With a soft click, both clocks displaced 1:06 PM. Perfect.

"Alright, you can-" No sooner had the words left her mouth had Rainbow Dash shot off into the sky. She ducked and flipped, getting a feel for the additional weight before climbing rapidly.

At the apex of her ascent, she paused briefly and took in sights. Truly there couldn't be much more beautiful than this. But Rainbow Dash had a job to complete. She shot back to the ground, rapidly increasing her speed. The wind tore at her mane, trying it's hardest to slow her down. Instead, Rainbow Dash pushed harder. All too soon she reached the point where the air could no longer hold her. With a tremendous bang, the pegasus gave one final push and the world was alight with colour.

Back on the ground, Twilight stared in awe at the explosion of colour. No matter how many times she saw it, the Sonic Rainboom was magnificent.

Rainbow Dash gracefully landed before Twilight. "So, can I go now?"

"Just let me get the data..." Twilight began, unstrapping the device from her friend's shoulders. "Alright you can go."

The pegasus was off before Twilight could even say thank you. She watched as Rainbow Dash soared back into the air, before landing on a nice cloud and promptly rolling onto her side. Twilight sighed. Typical. But thoughts of her friend's laziness did not occupy her thoughts for long. There was science to be done!

Twilight took a quick look at the ground-based device. 1:10 PM. So that gave her four minutes of data to sort through which-

She lost her train of thought as she read the time on the aerial device. 1:12 PM. But... they should be the same? Twilight had spent weeks checking over every miniscule detail of these measuring devices. They should be the same, not a whole two minutes off. Briefly, she considered finding Rainbow Dash and trying again, but her friend was already fast asleep. Besides, Twilight knew repeating a failure would only lead to another failure. She'd take these devices back to Golden Oaks and fix the error before trying again.

---

Nothing. Absolutely Celestia-damned nothing. Countless hours without a wink of sleep and still couldn't figure out the answer. Each and every one of the devices in the aerial measuring device was off by a full two minutes. Including all the redundancies. Twilight wouldn't have been surprised if some of the more sensitive equipment had started to show faults at that level of magical energy. But all of them? And by the same amount? Such a thing was a statistical improbability!

In her fatigue-addled mind, Twilight began to think of increasingly unlikely explanations. Had Rainbow Dash intentionally sabotaged the device in some malicious attempt at a prank? Because there was no way this equipment was faulty. She had checked it herself!

The sun began to stream in through the windows and Twilight realised she'd once again gone all night without sleep. Spike had warned her against that, claiming she tended to get a bit loopy without sleep. He also claimed she got obsessive when faced with a problem she couldn't figure out. She knew he was right and Twilight was convinced to not become that mare again. Which was why she was going to handle this like a reasonable adult.

So... when did Rainbow Dash wake up?

---

Twilight trailed Rainbow Dash as the pegasus made her morning rounds. In her mind, she reasoned that Rainbow Dash was busy and couldn't talk right now. Twilight was just... waiting for a moment to speak. Thirty metres away. Behind a house.

Spike was right, maybe she had a problem.

Rainbow Dash was currently speaking with Fluttershy, who was pulling a large cart full of what looked like animal feed. In a stroke of brilliance, she even cast a hearing enhancement spell on herself. Now Twilight could hear everything the two pegasi were saying.

"I'm sorry Rainbow Dash, I've still got a lot more birdseed to buy. All those little chicks are going to be born soon and I want to make sure they are all nice and fed," Fluttershy responded to something Rainbow Dash had said. The yellow pegasus examined each of the bags a street vendor was offering. "Do I need 20 or 30?" she muttered.

"You've got like, a hundred birds right?" Rainbow Dash asked. Seeing Fluttershy nod, she continued. "So for a month that should be like 27 bags. Or something like that."

Fluttershy smiled at her friend. "Thanks Rainbow."

"Don't mention it, always happy to help out a friend!" Rainbow Dash gave Fluttershy a hoofbump and flew off.

Meanwhile, Twilight stared at the spot the pegasi had just occupied with disbelieving eyes. Quickly she ran the numbers in her head. One hundred birds. Average of 0.5 chicks per bird. Factoring in the average consumption... 26.725 exactly. How had Rainbow Dash figured that out so quickly?

Twilight galloped over to the yellow pegasi. Seeing she was struggling with the bags, Twilight levitated them all into the cart then rounded on her friend. "Since when was Rainbow Dash good at maths?"

Fluttershy seemed a little put off by her sudden appearance. "I mean, she wouldn't call herself good-"

"Are you kidding? That's a complex maths problem with many variables. And she just did it in her head in less than ten seconds," Twilight spoke quickly, moving closer to Fluttershy with each word until she was almost pressed up against her face.

With a meek whimper, Fluttershy backed off. "Um, Twilight. When was the last time you slept?"

"I don't have time for sleep!"

"Oh... ok then," Fluttershy hooked herself to the cart and quickly galloped out of town. She seemed determined to get as far away from town as possible, but Twilight couldn't fathom why.

So... Rainbow Dash was good at maths. That was unexpected, but not the answer she was looking for. But if Rainbow Dash was a maths expert, then surely she'd be smart enough to tamper with the instruments? Now she had a new angle to attack the problem. All she had to do was find the pegasus!

---

Twilight found Rainbow Dash in Sweet Apple Acres. She and Applejack were in the middle of some horseshoe tossing game Twilight had forgotten the name to. The alicorn decided now would be as good a time as any to confront the rainbow-maned mare.

"Rainbow Dash, did you notice anything weird about the Sonic Rainboom yesterday?" Twilight began. Best to open up with as non-accusing of a question she could come up with.

"Besides it being way harder due to the 10 kilograms of stuff you had strapped on me?"

"Yes! All my data is off by two minutes! All of it!"

"Maybe you set the time wrong?"

"I made sure I didn't!" Twilight argued back. Applejack meanwhile was looking between the two of them with a confused expression.

"Sugarcube... what's going on? Have you slept recently?" Applejack asked. Twilight's eye twitched in irritation. Why was everyone asking about her sleeping schedule today?

"What's going on is that Rainbow Dash is keeping secrets! Did you know she was good at maths?"

Applejack opened her mouth to respond, but Rainbow Dash cut her off.

"Hey I'm not good at that egghead stuff!"

"You helped Fluttershy this morning with a maths problem!"

Rainbow Dash shrugged dismissively. "That wasn't maths! I just knew that she'd need 27 bags."

"That is exactly maths!"

"No it's not! It's like how you know how many quills you need a year. How do you figure that out?"

"With maths!" Twilight sighed in irritation. She was getting nowhere with this. "Look, my measurements are wrong. I just need to know if this is some sort of prank."

Rainbow Dash shook her head. "No, I have no idea what those things even do."

With a defeated sigh, Twilight nodded and turned to leave. Once again she'd let her paranoia get the best of her. This time, she promised to never let it happen again. Twilight would check the instruments one more time, then forget about this whole thing. She began the long walk back to Ponyville, leaving Applejack and Rainbow Dash to their game. Just as she was about to leave, Rainbow Dash called out to her.

"Oh and say hi to Starlight Glimmer for me!"

Who in Celestia's name was Starlight Glimmer!?

---

Twilight flipped through the notebook quickly. Pinkie Pie had been generous enough to lend Twilight her list of every resident of Ponyville. Plus their birthdays, interests and favourite cupcake flavour, but that wasn't the alicorn's concern. All she needed to do was prove Starlight Glimmer wasn't a real pony and she'd know Rainbow Dash was pranking her.

The pink mare herself was leaning on the counter, giving Twilight a concerned look. Twilight half expected Pinkie Pie to ask how much sleep she'd gotten, it seemed to be all her friends were asking today.

Twilight finished the notebook. "Nothing! Starlight Glimmer doesn't exist! I knew Rainbow Dash was pranking me!"

"She didn't tell me about any prank," Pinkie Pie reasoned, but Twilight was already out of the room.

---

The alicorn found Rainbow Dash talking to Rarity outside of her home. That was strange, the game she was playing with Applejack should still take another hour to complete. Twilight pushed the thought out of her head. Maybe Rainbow Dash was discussing the prank with Rarity!? Quickly, Twilight ducked behind a bush to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"So I found that rare fabric that you said got lost in last night's storm. Again, I'm really sorry" Rainbow Dash apologised and presented a shimmering golden fabric to the unicorn. Rarity took it with a confused look.

"This fabric is absolutely gorgeous. But darling... there was no storm last night," Rarity tried to explain. Nearby, Twilight suddenly listened closely. The unicorn was right, they hadn't had a storm for weeks. Was Rainbow Dash seriously trying to prank Rarity too?

"Thanks Rares, but you don't have to spare my feelings. I know I screwed up. I'll catch up with you later, I've got to go help with clearing out the last of the clouds."

Without another word, Rainbow Dash left the confused unicorn levitating the golden fabric in a soft blue aura. Twilight was about to go talk to Rarity, when hoof tapped her shoulder.

"Are you spying on Rarity?"

Twilight shrieked and came face to face with Rainbow Dash. But that was impossible! She just saw her fly off in the complete opposite direction!

"Twilight, are you OK? Did you get enough sleep last night?"

But the alicorn didn't respond. She was still trying to piece together what she'd just seen. Unless the Changelings had returned, there shouldn't be two Rainbow Dashes.

"Yes Rainbow Dash, I'm fine. Just a bit jumpy," Twilight replied after a long pause. She forced a grin on her face.

Rainbow Dash laughed and flew in lazy circles around the alicorn. "That's good to hear! Oh just to warn you, the weather team is planning to bring over some rain and it's going to get pretty heavy by 5:34 PM. I'm going to see if I can't use a vortex to-"

In the blink of an eye, Rainbow Dash was suddenly behind Twilight.

"-and if it works it's going to be so cool!" she continued, completely obvious to her friend's growing panic.

Too busy with an internal panic attack Twilight absentmindedly replied, "Yeah... that sounds good..."

"Damn right it does! Alright, see you around!"

Rainbow Dash shot off, leaving the alicorn alone to think. Despite her apprehensions, it was becoming clear to Twilight that there was only one possible explanation: she was hallucinating. Pulling another stressful all-nighter can't have been the best idea. With a resolute sigh, Twilight made her way back to Golden Oaks. It would much easier to think after a nap.

---

A crack of lightning joked Twilight from her sleep. With foggy eyes, she looked over at the clock on the wall. 5:34 PM exactly. Dread started to well up inside her, but in her half-asleep state Twilight couldn't remember why that time was so important. With an irritated groan, she cast a muffling spell around her bed and returned to the dreamland.

---

That morning, Twilight awoke slowly. She hadn't felt this rested in a long time. A peaceful smile on her face, she poured herself a cup of tea and stepped outside to enjoy the day.

Her smile faded. Ponyville was in shambles! Leaves had been blown off trees and every roof was covered in twigs and other debris. The roof on one house had even had the tiles blown clean off. What had happened last night?!

"Oh Twilight, it's good to see you up," Spike greeted the purple mare. He was helping some earth ponies rake up the streets. "I'm surprised to see you up, you slept right through the storm last night."

"The storm... last night?" An uncomfortable feeling overtook Twilight. Had Rainbow Dash... planned this? It was unbelievable. Her friend would never do that, but how else would Rainbow Dash know about a devastating storm the day before it happened?

Spike passed the rake to a stallion and walked over to Twilight. "Wow you really did sleep right through it. From what I hear Rainbow Dash and a few other pegasi tried a new trick and it didn't end well. She's taken responsibility, but I think she could use a friend. She's over by the Everfree getting chewed out by-"

But Twilight had already left Spike behind.

---

"You're little stunt has devastated the town. I should have your weather license revoked immediately!" A red pegasus mare screamed.

Rainbow Dash hung her head in shame "I know. I'm really sorry. I'll do whatever I can to help."

Twilight found her friend near the pathway to Fluttershy's cottage. Her eyes widened as she saw the damage. Even the Everfree Forest hadn't been spared the storm's wrath!

"If you don't fix your work real soon, you will be seeing from me," the red pegasus gave Rainbow Dash one final look and flew up into the air.

Just as Rainbow Dash began the long process of kicking tree debris back into the forest, Twilight ran up to her.

"Rainbow Dash, I've been looking for you."

"Yes Twilight, I know what I did was irresponsible. You're not the first one to tell me today."

"That's not what I'm here for! Look, this is important! I need you to tell me if-"

But Rainbow Dash had caught sight of a flicker of gold hanging in the branches of an old oak tree. She shot over to canopy and brought the object back down. Twilight's eyes widened. She recognised the fabric. It was the exact same piece of fabric Rainbow Dash had given Rarity yesterday!

"Hey, this is the fabric Rarity lost in the storm!" Rainbow Dash held the fabric up to her eyes. "She seemed so panicked this morning about losing it. Excuse me Twilight, I need to return this."

"No wait I need you to-" Twilight began, but it was too late. Rainbow Dash shot off into the air. Glumly, Twilight followed her path through the air. Suddenly, she disappeared! There was no flash of light. Nothing indicating teleportation. It's like she simply vanished. Twilight blinked. Still no Rainbow Dash. What was going on here!?

---

Twilight barricaded herself in her lab. Finally. No hallucinations. No Rainbow Dash being weird. Just Twilight alone doing what she did best: magical research. Her eyes caught sight of the two measuring devices. She was still no closer to unravelling the cause of the strange discrepancy in time recording, but even with that corrupt data at least some of it might still be useful.

She glanced over at the ground device. The timekeeper read 9:43 AM. Twilight silently cursed herself. What a silly mistake, to forget to press stop on the recording? Now she'd have to sift through over 18 hours of data! Well, maybe the aerial device had...

9:47 AM.

But hadn't the aerial device only been two minutes ahead? Twilight was certain of it! She'd even marked it down in her notes. So how could the gap be even larger?

Control yourself! Twilight took a few deep breaths. There was no use complaining about device accuracy now. That line of thinking had kept her all night and caused strange hallucinations during the day. And she refused to become the obsessive stalker that had nearly ruined her friendship with Pinkie Pie over a scientific result.

Levitating both devices, Twilight plugged them in a printer which spat out a long chart of results. She hung both charts side by side, to compare their readings. It would be a good idea to measure relative to the ground device. The massive spike of thaumetic energy a few minutes into the experiment was obviously the Sonic Rainboom. On the aerial device, the same spike occurred at the same time, but it lasted two minutes instead of a few seconds. It was almost like they were measuring the exact same readings, just drawn out over a longer period of time...

Twilight's eyes widened. A horrible theory had just occurred to her. Dear Celestia...

Quickly, she flipped through the readings. The ground measuring device displayed the same uniform measurement of everything. Pressure, temperature, even background thaumetic energy levels. But the aerial device had... gaps. There was no other way to describe it. Small period of time, only a few seconds long, where the readings were wrong. Every measuring device flatlined, like there was nothing to measure. After these periods, the aerial device went back to measuring the same readings as the ground device, just a few additional seconds out of sync.

If her theory was correct then there should be another gap right about... here! A three second period of time where the aerial device had fallen out of sync with the ground device. Exactly when Rainbow Dash had done her little teleporting trick.

Twilight didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She just stared at that three second gap. There was no pressure reading. No temperature reading. Not even any thaumetic energy! And yet, in those three seconds, time had passed. At least relative to this measuring device.

For just the briefest moment, time had stopped.

Comments

[garfan]

okay, so Dash is time traveling. Could you let people who have no idea what Quantum Break is in on the joke here?

[Brosif1357]

10513115
It’s a video game that I was loosely inspired by. This was supposed to be a vaguely humorous one shot where Rainbow Dash has inadvertently become desynchronised from normal time and Twilight loses her mind trying to figure it out. In the game, time starts having glitches with signify the onset of the total breakdown of time. And Twilight has inadvertently discovered the Rainbow Dash's strange relation with time allows her to move through these tiny pauses (an effect which was transferred to the measurement device that went through the Sonic Rainboom).

[Bojack H]

10513121
here I was thinking relativistic effects but that works too