Graff, a former student at Crystal Prep Academy, stumbles upon a portal to Equestria.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I can tell you were probably working through a block, as some sections *seemed* tense, more than they should, but other than that, it seemed fine overall.
You're working to progress the story, and sometimes it just takes a couple blocks to get where you wanna get to, which is understandable o/
I'm still enjoying the story, awkwardness or no. That ending seemed to probably answer his question, huh? :P
10645048
What can I say but "Love is in Bloom!"
And yes, this chapter was REALLY hard to write.
The next day, Graff was pummeled by chocolate milk rain and cotton candy clouds. Discord claimed innocence.
10647985
Funny you should mention Discord...
Seems the author forgot Fluttershy feed lots of omnivorous and carnivorous animals that she cares for in her daily routine, she shouldn't object to her friends who are omnivores and carnivores.
I refer you to: i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/518/183/5db.png