Boots with the fur (with the fur)
The whole club was lookin' at her
She hit the floor (she hit the floor)
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low

Lol

10414701
I'm glad to see someone got the reference.

Beat you to it, Shakespearicles

10414723
I very much hope I don't disappoint you.

10414735
The only critique I've got so far is to tone it down on the toes thing.

10414846
I'm not exactly sure what you mean by that. In ten thousand words, there were only a few instances where I mention feet/toes, and most of those were part of a larger description of a character's body. Yes, I threw in a few gratuitous moments here and there, but I didn't think it would be distracting, given how minor they were. I'm not sure how I can "tone it down" without just never mentioning that subject at all.

10414876
"Cute little toes," "unpainted toes," "adorable toes;" there's a lot of attention being paid to that particular part of the anatomy at the expense of other, more obvious details like the cut of one's hair or the actions of one's hands, and it honestly gives more attention to detail in the adjectives to that part of their anatomy than their clothes get.

10414887
I understand what you're saying, but in my defense, we already know what everyone's hair looks like. If I tell the audience that a character is supposed to be Applejack, then they'll assume she has the same hair that she does in the show without me needing to describe it in detail. What I do need to describe, however, is every other part of their body, as the audience will not know what humanized Applejack's body is supposed to look like. And as far as clothes are concerned, I feel I spent as much time as was needed to provide good mental images. In a story like this, knowing what the characters' bodies look like is more important than knowing what their clothes look like, as those clothes might not be around for very long anyways.

All that being said, this was the first chapter, so I had to spend more time describing the characters' appearances than I will have to in subsequent chapters. There will probably be less of the stuff you're talking about later on just because it won't really be needed.

*comes into the thread expecting to discuss clapping slutty white pawg cheecks*

*slowly backs out*

10415909
We can discuss that too, if you want.

Great chapter cant wait for more

10419455
I'm glad you liked it. Chapter two will be out soon!

10419738
👍

Is Anon adopted or has he replaced Big Mac completely?
I'm not asking because of some stupid "incest bad unless not really siblings!" mentality. It's just odd how he doesn't have an apple (or pear) related name. Unless his full name is Anonymous Blackapple I guess...

10422034
I tried to make it as clear as possible without stating it outright, but no, Big Mac does not exist in this universe. Anon has the same biological parents as Applejack and Apple Bloom. Also, you can imagine him having an apple-related name if you really want to.

Just a reminder that I welcome any and all feedback from my readers, be it positive or negative. If you like what I have written, please leave a comment telling me what you liked about it and feel free to tell me if there's anything you'd like to see in the story; your suggestion might just make it in if I like it. If you don't quite like my story, or if you decide to drop it at some point, please feel free to tell me so and tell me why. I welcome criticism as long as it is polite and respectful.

Her petite, girlish feet took light steps across the kitchen, showing off her cute little toes with apple-red-painted nails and her gold toe ring. Her long, slender legs carried her over to the refrigerator, which she opened. Her years on the farm had not made them nearly as muscular as Applejack’s, but not as plump either. They were still stronger than those of most young women her age, but maintained a girlish slenderness that made her the envy of many of her peers. She bent down to reach for a soda at the back of the fridge, giving me an excellent view of her posterior.

If I didn't know any better I would say someone has a thing for feet.
Excellent.