This is certainly something. Not Terrible but could definitely use some polishing. Now before I go on I’m not trying to judge, only give my honest opinion.
Now the premise is easy enough to understand, it’s basically a gory clopfic with ember as the main protagonist. Can’t say I seen many with her as the lead so this could definitely work as a new take on old-ish idea. The idea being the main character essentially getting what they most desire with little resistance or consequences to them. That could also work in this fix favor as it’s a porn without plot story with what I assume is a 1-2k word count per chapter. About the norm for most stories like this.
There are how ever issues, major ones if I may. Now these issues could be rectified in later chapters so please take my words with a grain of salt but this all feels... strange I suppose. It’s chapters aren’t long and it’s not a plot driven story so I doubt the quick pacing to be a big problem. It’s a problem but one that could be over looked. Things like the setting, time, and characters however can’t be.
When first reading this I though This was taking place right when spike gives her the scepter but it took a second reading to realized she’s just in the throne room with Smoulder. I’ll take blame for this however since I was skimming through this the first time as well.
That’s pretty much all I could say with my limited knowledge on reviewing and such. I want to give this story the benefit of the doubt and say it could be great like most things. Am I expecting it to be a masterpiece, oh heavens no. Pure clip and guilty pleasures alone aren’t enough. However that doesn’t mean it should stick to the norm and do as it’s expected. Maybe Celestia and Luna senses this new ember and had the girls scatter, not wanting equestria best chance to fall victim to ember and the dragon lord will have to go on hunt for them. Conquering nations and races along the way as two and the gang try and form a resistance to stop her. Or maybe Ember struggles mentally as in she goes into a nightmare moon phase where her personality splits once she gains affection for her supposed “slaves” and see them as more than that. But those are just my thoughts. It’s too soon to give this a proper rating so the author better bring their A game if they want it~. Until then, take care and keep pushing. The world thrives off creativity ^>^
Why did you give Ember male genitalia?
10365305
I'm a futa fan. Duh.
I loved this story
10365323
Thank you
Dragoness Goddess is really reduntant I feel. Goddess already says your female, and yes I saw Ember is a Hermaphrodite.
10365337
I felt that way too, I may change the title later if I can
you could tie it in with thank you mistress
This is certainly something. Not Terrible but could definitely use some polishing. Now before I go on I’m not trying to judge, only give my honest opinion.
Now the premise is easy enough to understand, it’s basically a gory clopfic with ember as the main protagonist. Can’t say I seen many with her as the lead so this could definitely work as a new take on old-ish idea. The idea being the main character essentially getting what they most desire with little resistance or consequences to them. That could also work in this fix favor as it’s a porn without plot story with what I assume is a 1-2k word count per chapter. About the norm for most stories like this.
There are how ever issues, major ones if I may. Now these issues could be rectified in later chapters so please take my words with a grain of salt but this all feels... strange I suppose. It’s chapters aren’t long and it’s not a plot driven story so I doubt the quick pacing to be a big problem. It’s a problem but one that could be over looked. Things like the setting, time, and characters however can’t be.
When first reading this I though This was taking place right when spike gives her the scepter but it took a second reading to realized she’s just in the throne room with Smoulder. I’ll take blame for this however since I was skimming through this the first time as well.
That’s pretty much all I could say with my limited knowledge on reviewing and such. I want to give this story the benefit of the doubt and say it could be great like most things. Am I expecting it to be a masterpiece, oh heavens no. Pure clip and guilty pleasures alone aren’t enough. However that doesn’t mean it should stick to the norm and do as it’s expected. Maybe Celestia and Luna senses this new ember and had the girls scatter, not wanting equestria best chance to fall victim to ember and the dragon lord will have to go on hunt for them. Conquering nations and races along the way as two and the gang try and form a resistance to stop her. Or maybe Ember struggles mentally as in she goes into a nightmare moon phase where her personality splits once she gains affection for her supposed “slaves” and see them as more than that. But those are just my thoughts. It’s too soon to give this a proper rating so the author better bring their A game if they want it~. Until then, take care and keep pushing. The world thrives off creativity ^>^
10365340
That wouldn't really work. Also, I DO plan on continuing tym at some point, I just am very busy.
Awesome i love your stories can’t wait for the next chapter
(Edit: Replied under wrong chapter; see 10370207.)
10370184
The hell? How is it in consensual?