The Switch

by Buttery Biscuit

Discord, I mean Celestia

Celestia walked through the halls of her castle slowly. She was going to miss being the ruler of Equestria but she also wasn't. She was ready to retire, but she wasn't ready to be bored. Most of her duties were transferred to twilight. What was she going to do with her life now? She was an immortal being with nothing to do. That's when she heard a familiar pop behind her and she recognized this pop immediately.

“Hello Discord," she said with some glimmer of hope. Maybe her retirement wouldn't be that boring not with him around. All the nothing was really starting to get to her, he had to have something to do.

“Hello ‘tia I was wondering...would you...like to cause chaos with me." He asked raising his eyebrows well off his head. "there's something I have been plotting for quite some time. Come on...come on…. Commmeee onnnnn.” He said, starting to shake her “I know you're bored, cause chaos with me just this once. It'll be fun" he said waving his claw and paw through the air with some extra flair.

Celestia took a moment to reflect, was she really going to do this? Then she thought of the alternative, another night of absolutely nothing. “Ok, I'll hear your plan out at the least." She said, her heart beating hard. “But nothing crazy Discord!”

Discord cracked a mischievous smile, “of course not!”

----

Twilight was surprised when she suddenly got a scroll from Celestia, saying she was excused from ruling tomorrow. Celestia said she wanted to rule just one more day. Twilight sighed in annoyance. She had been very excited to take over but I guess she'd have to wait. She wasn't one to disrespect her mentors' last wishes. With that thought, she put down her to-do list and picked up a book. At least she could spend tomorrow getting some reading and studying done.

The Next Day

Discord, I mean ‘Celestia’ , made his way into the throne room. He sat down onto his throne and smiled. He called upon a random guard "go get whoever organizes my day. I've forgotten what I had to do. It slipped my mind.”

The guard looked up at Discord on Celestia's throne in confusion. What the hell was he doing here, "Discord?"

“No it's Celestia, now go do as I say!" He insisted, waving a claw towards the door.

The guard left with apprehension, what should he do? Maybe he should get Princess Luna. He trotted down the hallway heading towards Luna's chambers. He stopped, knocking fast at her door. He needed her to see what he was seeing.

“What do thou want?” She faked a yawn, she was pretending to have just woken up. In fact, her actual sister told her what was to happen. She decided to play along as she was getting bored as well.

“It is Celestia she's...not herself?" What the Tartarus was he supposed to say? "It's an emergency come look." He said trotting back down the hallway as Luna flew behind him. He approached the throne room doors and opened it. "Look," he said, pointing a hoof to discord.

“Hello, sister of mine! What are you doing?” He said waving his claw at Luna.

“Hello, sister. She looks fine to me. Why do thou waste my precious time?" She said her breath hitching at the end as she suppressed her laughter. She knew of the plan, oh how she knew. "But since you are concerned I shall help rule today." She said, making her move to Discord’s side. She was there as a supporting character and she had some plans of her own. "Oh sister, just like the good old days. How I will miss all this." She said leaning over and hugging ‘Celestia’

“There, there, dear sister of mine," Discord paused as he felt his breath hitch in the back of his throat. "Well find something to do with our time.”

“I suppose you are right,” Luna said with a smile.

“I love you, sister" Discord said, clutching his sides as he quaked slightly.

Luna's face puffed as she held her breath "love you to sister." She managed to say before smiling like a fiend. She was determined to play this game.

“Uhhh. Ok, I'll… inform the guards." The guard said as he trotted out the door. Luna and Discord looked at each other.

A pegasus flew in with a clipboard "hello…. Celestia and Luna," he had been informed of the current situation. As no one had any better ideas as of yet, he would play along. "Since it slipped your mind. You have a full schedule today three meetings, then service to your ponies and after that more meetings." He said flipping through the pages. "Any questions?"

"Yes, Discord will be around at about three please cancel anything after that time. I have a feeling it will not bode well." He said seeing his ‘sister’ quake besides him "call it an emergency"

The pegasus gave a stressed look, the more important meetings were always saved for later as requested by Twilight. So it actually would be good if they were canceled, "I'll make it happen."

“Thank you. You are dismissed,” Discord said waving his claw through the air.

The pegasus bowed and left the room. Luna took in a couple of deep breaths. They both smiled at one another and turned back around on their thrones. They heard a knock at the door; it was their first meeting of the day. It was with a dignitary from Fillydelphia.

"Hello," said a stallion with a grey main and black fur, his cutie mark some odd orange creature. "Names Gritty Jawn and I'm here for a trade agreement." He said looking up at the throne. See he had been informed of the situation at the door. Instead of being mad, he was stoked. Maybe he would get a better deal than before, but would they honor it later? Who knows, he smiled, but it was time to find out.

"Of course let us start our negotiations." Discord said waving the stallion closer. "What is that you want?"

The stallion thought about it. This was Discord and Discord could do anything he wanted. Even if he was playing a game. If there was a small chance that Gritty could get whatever he wanted from Discord. Then he was going to take it. What could be done in a snap of his fingers?

"The roads need to be repaved, could always use more funding, and a new stadium." He said thinking to himself, this guy could do whatever you want. Think outside the box. Come on man. Those are also important but this guy is like a god. "Self-cleaning streets!" He said with a smile.

Discord raised an eyebrow, some of these demands were boring. It was the last one that caught his attention. This stallion was hoping that maybe, just maybe, Discord would stick to his agreements. Even if he wasn't technically Discord at this moment, this stallion was smart. Discord almost wanted to agree, "you'll get a bundle of dancing sticks and some talking ducks"

"Also some vibrating peanut butter jars, empty" luna said, cracking a smile at discord. They could offer whatever they wanted "you are welcome!"

Luna and discord smiled at each other then looked at the stallion, he looked so disappointed. This meeting was probably hard for him to get. "And of course what you asked for" Discord added thinking maybe he could do some of it. "But only if you take our offer of changing the roads to cotton candy and all flowers are now lollipops." If discord was going to stick to his side of the agreement he wanted to be able to cause chaos "oh and all bushes now sing."

"Will the cotton candy be sticky? How long will the chaos last?" Asked the stallion, he did not want to be walking on sticky cotton candy who knows how long.

"Until Discord gets bored, which will probably be quick, but let's just say one year. No, it won't be sticky but you can still eat it. It'll just grow back and it won't get dirty. It'll forever be perfectly clean. All trash going straight to the dumpster, just like you asked."

"Deal!" He said trotting back out the door. Even if discord didn't keep up the deal. He at least hoped he'd tell the princess. They'd figure out something, though it would be easier with discords magic.

Luna looked back at discord. "Are you really going keep your word, sister?" she had to play along but she was also curious if Discord would.

"I think I'll at least try, sister." He wasn't sure but if he got to cause chaos and help it be the best of both worlds. It felt good to help and it felt good to cause chaos so why not both? Discord wanted to talk it out with Luna some more but he couldn't break character so he tapped his claws together as he watched a mare walk into the room.

The second dignitary, a mare whose cutie mark was three sevens in a row, walked into the room. Her coat was golden and her mane red and blue, she was Wahapns Stazn from Las Pegasus. She dropped all regalia as she was told what was happening at the front gate. Since she was second she had some extra time on her hooves so she wrote up her demands. "Morning Celestia it's so good to see you ruling once more no offense but I wanted to work with Twilight. You and I worked together for so long," Stazn said with a smile. She had always thought Celestia to be stuck up, this was quite the surprise.

"I was hoping to leave the boring stuff aside for once and have a little fun. You seem up for that now. Just a hunch." She said looking up at the surprised and confused Luna and Discord. "So with all due respect give this to Twilight," Stazn said, handing over a document. "Let's talk fun!"

Discord smiled, he thought the first stallion was smart. She was a genius compared to him, "What are you thinking?"

"I was thinking you could talk to Discord for me. I hear you're very close, I want you to get him to agree to plan all holiday events for two years. He can use all the magic he wants to, all the chaos. So long as no pony gets hurt. I also want him to do my birthday. I'd think he'd like doing that. You're invited to tag along to princesses if you so wish." Stazn smiled, she was going to take a vacation and make Discord deal with all the hard work.

"Deal!" Discord said almost a little too enthusiastically. He got to use his chaos magic however he wanted. Ponies would enjoy it, he would enjoy it. It was a win-win situation.

"Fantastic, the first celebration is in two months. We can meet again in two weeks and talk about the details." She said waving a hoof towards luna and discord "see ya then!"

Discord looked back at luna and thought to himself, I'm definitely doing that one! Negotiations were so much fun! Especially when you could make it fun. The last dignitary, one from New Pegasus entered the room, a unicorn stallion with a cutie mark that was a spatula on fire. He smiled to himself, he thought long and hard about what he wanted from Discord. Would he give it to him, who knew? It was worth a shot.

“My name is Tartarus Kitchen. I am in charge of the chef's guild, run my restaurant, help run other restaurants, among other things. I am one busy stallion you see and that's what brings me here.” He smiled his original plan was to get some extra funding so he could hire some help but things have changed now.

“I’d like a duplicate of myself, the ability to slow down time and when I touch an ingredient it’ll never run out. It’ll just go on forever.” He looked up at discord and smiled “I’d also love to cook with things that aren’t edible. Only at my restaurant could you eat everyday objects.”

Oh, Discord liked this stallion, Tartarus was one bold pony. He thought about all the potential chaos that would ensue from a restaurant that fed ponies things like books. Though it could use more chaos, “all restaurants within a certain radius to yours and the ones your control is now eatable. In fact, everything within that radius is, even the ponies who enter it. No worries, anything eaten will automatically come back. Discord also gets to leave whenever he gets too bored and the menu will be random.”

“Sounds good to me, Celestia.” Tartarus said bowing at discord “we’ll talk details in the next couple of weeks.”

Luna watched as Tartarus left “Well sister, it's about time. Discord will be here in a couple of minutes.”

Author's Note:

I tried my hand at a comedy. I have been writing to many scary stories time for some funny stuff.

Edit: I worked together with a friend to make the oc's in this story just for the fun of it.

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

Please tell me someone tells Celestia what a horrible idea this is.

[kurusagi16]

Just so I understand, it's really Discord, but he acts like Celestia and vice versa. Sounds interesting, but I wonder about Fluttershy, will she understand what's going on like Luna?

[Changeling404]

This will end well... no really! It will!

[Buttery Biscuit]

10183277
ohhh i have plans. How i have plans.

[Buttery Biscuit]

10183266
Yes, it is discord he is just acting like Celestia. You'll just have to see in the next chapter.

[Buttery Biscuit]

10183247
nope she goes bat-shit crazy XD