The Stolen Acorn: A RariTwi Exquisite Corpse

by SigmasonicX

3 - kits

Rarity wasn’t panting. That was just not something ladies did. But she was certainly breathing with enthusiasm as she chased after the vile fiend of a parrot. Not for the first time today she dearly wished that Fluttershy were with her. Or rather that she were with Fluttershy. And Twilight. And that they were all at the spa.

Rarity furrowed her brow, irritated over letting her thoughts wander from what important. The acorn and getting into Twilight’s saddlebags were all that mattered right now. Well, and Twilight herself. And Rarity supposed her hat was moderately important too. And—

“Why didn’t you tell me there was a race going on?”

Rarity nearly tripped over her own hooves as Rainbow Dash brought her train of thought to a grinding halt. She grimaced as a misplaced hoof splashed mud onto her coat. Priorities, she told herself.

“Hello... Rainbow, dear,” she puffed. “I’m terri... terribly sorry, but...”

Rainbow lazily waved a hoof as she rolled onto her back, her wings hardly needing to strain to keep up with Rarity’s allout sprint. “Yeah, yeah. You’re winning—awesome job by the way—and don’t wanna stop and chat.”

“I’m not... racing!” Rarity tried very hard not to gulp air. She thought about what to say next. Just because her lungs were burning and just because Rainbow Dash didn't care about such was no reason to be barbaric. “I’m chasing after, tha- that bird. He has my hat!”

“Oh.” Disappointment seeped from that single syllable, but as quickly as it had come, it vanished and Rainbow was once again sporting her cocky smile. “If it’s not a race, would you like a ho—“

“Yes!” Rarity gasped. She added a hasty “please” that was only just this side of polite.

Rainbow’s smirk deepened and her eyes sparkled. “Alright then. One hat, coming right up!” With a salute, she shot ahead.

Rarity only just kept herself from collapsing onto the ground. She wanted to, but she was already going to need quite a thorough cleaning just due to all the perspiration she’d worked up, not to mention the mud.

Rainbow called over her shoulder. “Say 'hi' to Twilight for me. She was right behind you!”

Rarity’s legs gave out.

Twilight has followed her? Of course Twilight has followed her! What kind of pony wouldn’t chase after her marefriend when she inexplicably charged off into the forest. Not Twilight Sparkle, that’s who.

Rarity felt tears welling in her eyes. Twilight would come and find out about the acorn and how Rarity had kept it secret and how she had lost it. And then their entire relationship would fall apart. She’d be forced into exile, doomed to spend the rest of her days in unfashionable robes trying to catch one last glimpse of Twilight’s smile. Where was a couch when you really needed one?

Rainbow crashed down beside her, causing Rarity to give a squeak of alarm. “Gof eth!” Rainbow said around the hat in her mouth. There was no sign of the demon that had taken her hat in the first place.

Rainbow transferred the hat to her wing, and grinned sheepishly. “Um, sorry about the, uh, sticky-outy part.” She proffered the hat to Rarity, who could see that the rim was indeed torn. But the ribbon... It was intact and the telltale bulge of the acorn drew her eye more strongly than a thousand diamonds.

Rarity flung her forelegs around Rainbow Dash in a hug that would have done Pinkie proud. "Oh, thank you, Rainbow Dash! You don't know what this means to me!" She took the hat, and immediately felt at the bump behind the ribbon. Yes, it was still safe.

"Rarity!" Twilight called as she galloped into view. "Are you alright!?"

Rarity opened her mouth to answer, when the parrot swooped in to snap at her hat once more. Time slowed to a crawl as Rarity yanked hard with her magic, trying to keep her hat from being lost once more. But the foul beast still bit down on the edge of the bow, and jerked it off of the hat as it once more climbed into the sky.

"Ugh! You're a real jerk, you know that?" Rainbow shouted at the fleeing bird, but Rarity scarcely paid attention. Her eyes were fixed on the acorn, flung high into the air when the ribbon was ripped from her hat.

---

Rainbow Dash knew she wasn't the smartest pony. Although she'd long ago discovered that smart ponies could also be awesome, she knew she would never measure up to the likes of Twilight Sparkle. But she was observant.

Rarity hadn't cared about the hat being damaged. Rarity had cared about the weird bump under the ribbon. Rainbow squinted. It was a nut? An acorn? Whatever it was, Rarity was watching it like it had some new fancy dress inside. Like it had all the fancy dresses inside.

Rainbow Dash was also fast.

She bent low to the ground and shot into the air, intercepting whatever-it-was and catching it in her teeth. No problem for Equestria's fastest and best flyer. Once again she'd saved Rarity's day! She puffed out her chest and she floated to the ground. Smiling widely around the acorn, she provided the fanfare nopony else had seen fit to.

Rainbow also knew what excited ponies looked like. She'd seen them often enough even before she'd become a Wonderbolt. And neither Rarity nor Twilight were excited. Rarity was hunched low, looking away from Twilight, her tail tucked close to her flank, Twilight's mouth was open as she stared laser beams first at the Rainbow's mouth, then at Rarity.

What in Tartarus was going on here?

"Hi, Dashie!" A pink blur slammed into Rainbow Dash.

Three things happened. One, the saddlebags Pinkie Pie had—were those Twilight's?—flew open, spilling a ton of really boring looking egghead stuff over the ground. Two, Rarity and Twilight both dove for one particularly shiny item at the same time. And three, Rainbow Dash swallowed the acorn.

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Ponies Eating Acorns: The Musical