The Long Way Home

by HyperRandomness

Chapter 5: Hard-wired weird.

Hi-Rez had been walking for hours... or at least, that’s what his psychotic ‘pink’ companion kept telling him, over and over and over again. Hi-Rez swore that, if he ever got back to Ponyville without becoming deaf, he would pay the ‘pink’ menace to his ears to stop talking.

They had trudged on for what felt like forever, or at least, Rez was sure he was trudging. The ‘pink’ energized ball of crazy next to him sounded like she was bouncing.

How can anyone be so happy all the time, especially at a time like this? Rez complained to himself, the exhaustion of the day catching up to him.. or at least, he thought it was day? IS it day? Rez wondered. It was chilly outside, sure, but he couldn’t ever be sure of much anymore. The weather team had been off lately, since their Captain had gone off on some official business or some other nonsense.

“Do you see Ponyville yet?” Rez asked in a mildly harsh tone, immediately biting his lip at his own action. She doesn’t deserve me being mean to her, he corrected himself, she hasn’t done anything wrong. She’s just annoying. “Nope!” she responded giddily, again seeming far too happy for the situation. Rez had to wonder how she managed to stay so positive all the time.

Well, you know, there’s actually a simple explanation for that! You see, when I was just a litt-
Pinkie, you’re a part of this story. Get back in it and stop breaking the fourth wall. Do you even realize how much time it takes to fix that thing?
Well, no, but...
Exactly. Now, I want you to get back in the story. We can talk later, but right now, I’ve got a yarn to spin and a wall to fix, so go on.
Okay...
Much better. Now, where was I..? Ah, yes.

Rez had tripped and stumbled a few times, but that could be expected from a blind stallion on rough terrain. He only had his magic walking stick to guide him, which Pinkie occasionally tried to grab or mess with. Rez wasn’t sure if she was just being playful, or was purposefully trying to sabotage what senses he had to work with.

Few questions really poked at Rez at this moment, the first and foremost being, How in Equestria did this pink mental patient get out here in the first place? The answer to this question floated about just out of the reach of his mind, rendering him unable to pinpoint any reasoning as to why she might be lost, and out here, of all places!

He shuffled along silently for a few minutes, his anklets silently clacking against his hooves as he walked. It sounded like the pink maniac was still bounding along beside him, probably with some huge grin plastered across her face. Curiously, Rez tried to use his sight spell, but another short sputter and a headache later confirmed that he was still magically drained. With a very short sigh, he asked the insane pink pony, “So, what’re you doing out here in the forest, anyhow?”

Pinkie let out an excited squeak. “Ooh, I’ve been waiting to tell you that story!” she exclaimed, then suddenly spouting words like a fountain, “First, I was at Sugar Cube Corner and I was baking a cake with the cakes which is pretty funny when you think about it because it’s almost like the cakes are baking their own kind which would be weird because nobody really bakes ponies because they don’t really need baking since they’re not really baked goods but if they were I’m sure they would taste like mint chocolate-chip ice cream and chocolate sauce and chocolate-chip cookies and chocolate syrup and chocolate cake and-“ she stopped for a moment and took a huge breath, “and I’m sure they’d be really tasty but they’re not so back to what I was saying about the cakes and me making a cake for a pony in the hospital because I thought it would cheer them up and make them better so I could throw them an ‘I-got-better’ party but then I thought why not throw them an ‘I’m-not-dead’ party instead so we were baking the cake when I found another bag of sugar in the back of a cabinet full of sprinkles and the cakes told me not to touch it but I wasn’t sure why so I took a little taste of it and” she stopped for another second, taking a huge breath and looking right at Rez, “then I ended up out here, and then I encountered you!” Rez could almost feel the happiness emanating from her face.

“That… uh…” Rez started, putting on a fake smile and looking generally where he thought Pinkie would be. “..makes.. sense?” From what he could gather, the Cakes had something that they shouldn’t have, Pinkie found it, and she lost her mind somehow and ended up just as lost as he had. Great, he thought, now we’re probably even LESS likely to find our way back to ponyville. He turned to keep walking, looking slightly annoyed, but then Pinkie stated, “Oh, that’s the wrong way, by the way.”

“What makes you say that?” Rez asked, not stopping.

“The lake.”

“What do you meAAAAAAHH!!” Rez suddenly shouted, falling off a short ledge and landing with a splash! in water. He panicked for a moment, before he stabilized himself in the water, doing a steady paddle to keep himself afloat. He struggled for a bit to stay above the water, before conjuring up his magic walking stick and poking about hurriedly in the water to find land, which he shortly did. He paddled back to shore and shook himself off, then doing a quick inventory.

Vest? Wet, but check. Film? In a plastic case, so check. Anklets? Check. Camera? Rez suddenly had a horrible thought. Had his camera gone into the water with him? A feeling of despair suddenly swept over him, before Pinkie chimed in, “Here it is! I held onto it so it wouldn’t get wet when you fell into the water!” Rez’s face immediately went to an extremely joyful grin, and he poked around with his magic in the direction of Pinkie’s voice. He located the camera and floated it back to himself, saying, “Oh, thank goodness!” He then galloped over to Pinkie, whose location he knew due to previous magical searching, and wrapped her into a big hug. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” he practically shouted in her ear, squeezing her tightly. If it wasn’t obvious, he was preposterously overjoyed that his camera was safe.

It took him a moment to realize he was basically choking Pinkie to death, but he was alerted to this by a tapping on his shoulder. He loosened up, took a step back and let Pinkie go, who then took a deep breath. “Sorry.” Rez said, rubbing the back of his head with a hoof. Tiny sparkles of magic floated from the ‘veins’ in his mane, which then suddenly began to glow. Color suddenly burst into his eyes, to which he almost recoiled. He was looking at an extremely bright pony, so he covered his eyes for a moment as he couldn’t fully process the color at first. That must be ‘pink,’ he thought to himself. He set his hoof back down and basically just gawked at Pinkie, taking in the vibrant and foreign color once more. He caught himself staring, and turned away, looking out over a big, glassy lake of blue water glinting with yellow and white of the sunshine. It nearly brought a tear to his eye.

“You’re welcome.” Pinkie said, laying a hoof on his shoulder, which was considerably difficult due to his height. It was a nice moment, but the rumbling of both of their stomachs simultaneously broke the silence. Rez looked a bit sheepish. “Oh, don’t worry, I brought Cupcakes!” Pinkie said, showing that she had a Cupcake in each of her front hooves while standing on her hind hooves. She tossed one to Rez and ate the other whole, including its wrapper. Rez caught the Cupcake and said a quick “Thanks,” before carefully unwrapping the Cupcake and biting into it.

Almost immediately, he could tell something was off. For starters, the Cupcake didn’t taste sugary at all. Knowing Pinkie, it might as well have been a sugar-flavored, sugar-coated sugar-frosted sugarcake with extra sugar, but this Cupcake almost tasted.. sour. The next thing that caught his attention was that his ‘vision’ was beginning to blur. At first, it was very slight, but then it looked like entire parts of the landscape were becoming a fog. Then, his ‘sight’ went dark. A loud thump! was heard off to his side. This troubled him at first, but then he felt very, very calm.

Then he didn’t feel at all.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rez groaned as he came to. He slowly stood, feeling dried mud flake off as he shook himself off. A slight cringe of pain shot through his head, so he raised a hoof to rub it, but quickly retracted it as he felt a burning, searing heat in his hoof. He was worried that he might be hurt, so he began to use his magic to check himself, but what he intended to be a poke felt like being tackled by a Pegasus at Mach 2. In the same way, Rez went flying and tumbled along the ground for a few feet before coming to a stop. He stood and rubbed his side, discovering that a large bruise had already formed.

He summoned his ‘vision’ again, but instead of coming into view as usual, his line of sight almost exploded with amazingly bright colors. He closed his eyes for a brief moment before opening them again, seeing that everything was settling back into its normal colors. He scanned the environment, finding himself worried about Pinkie, but discovering she was not nearby. At least I still know where I am, he thought with a short chuckle to himself, wincing at the pain in his side then looking down at a puddle in front of him.

He let out a quick gasp, looking over what he looked like.

For starters, he was taller than normal. He was at least two hooves taller than he was before, with his body, head and legs becoming longer and more slender in compensation. The next thing he saw was his horn, which was significantly longer than before.

The last thing he noticed was his Mane and Tail. Instead of its normal brown with little yellow ‘veins’ running through it, the ‘veins’ now seemed to be glowing a very bright yellow, with little specks of bright magic forming and hovering about them.

He was transfixed by his image for a few minutes, before looking away and thinking, Can things get any weirder?

Comments

[Snowfyre]

very interesting, looking forward to more

[Cheer]

Sounds like the cakes got themselves some Cocaine there....

[HyperRandomness]

1282981

WHO TOLD YOU?!

I mean, er...

What gives you that crazy idea?

[Cheer]

1283039

Lol. Come on sugar that Pinkie wasn't supposed to use. Then when she does she blanks out and wakes up somewhere weird and the cupcake (most likley made with it) makes them both blank (Pinkie most likley ending up somewhere else). It all screams cocaine or some kinda drug. narwhaler.com/img/dr/r/its-so-true-discord-my-little-pony-DRr2Uc.jpg

Lol i dunno. could be anything. You're the writer. For all I know the idea could be changed solely to troll me.

[Strawberry Cupcakes]

Well someones high on cupcakes

[-Brutus]

1283252 Not sure if MLP does have illegal drugs hmm.