Marewell, My Lovely

by libertydude

The Long Con

“Alamon, I’m guessing?” I said, rubbing the back of my head. A faint drumbeat seemed to play in the back of my skull, harder and faster than anypony would ever want.

“Indeed, Lieutenant,” he chuckled. “I wondered when you would catch up.”

“Well, I had to get some mustard first.”

“Your humor in the face of defeat is admirable, Lieutenant, but I’m afraid I have little time for such pleasantries. Submit before me now, and I may spare you in the oncoming cleanse.”

“Or else what? You’ll destroy me with a flick of your hoof?”

“Yes, in fact. Or maybe I’ll turn you into a delicious rabbit to feed to the timberwolves. Whatever would cause you the most pain and suffering.”

I grunted as I got to my hooves. “You’ve been playing us from the beginning, haven’t you? Sucked out Zephyr’s soul, then framed Sunburst for it.”

“What’s the saying you ponies use nowadays?” he said, scratching his chin like a mock professor. “‘Close but no cigar’? No, these two’s hostility allowed me to free myself, but the clerk’s soul was absorbed into the amulet itself. While our bond is strong, the jewel does the actual soul absorption.”

“So Sunburst really didn’t do it.”

“The little fool was trying to hide from me. Whisked the amulet away so I could only have limited magic to use.” He gave a sly grin. “Little did he know I could still shapeshift into the ruler of Equestria, and that the Ponyville Police Department can be quite helpful with the right face and name.”

“Well, bully for you. You fooled an alcoholic lieutenant. I’m sure the history books will look upon you in awe.”

“Keep up such a flippant attitude, and I can guarantee history books is all you will be in.”

I spat upon the floor, the glob of spit glowing red in Alamon’s light snaking through the room. “Stop beating around the bush, you bastard. At this point, anything that involves not hearing you again seems like the greatest blessing of all time.”

“Death, it is,” he said, raising the locket up to his eyes. “Gaze upon your demise, Marewell, my lovely. A shame we couldn’t be anything more than temporary partners.”

Energy glowed around the amulet's container, a thick crackle starting to fill the room. Alamon's face glowed in the dark with a sadistic grin plastered across his face. I tensed up, ready for the final pin to drop.

The locket shot open. Nothing sat within but a photo of some old relative I could only imagine was Sunburst’s great-aunt.

I smiled when I saw the perplexed face of the would-be conqueror. He glanced into the locket, then threw it to the floor.

“A fake!” he roared. “The little twerp hid the real one from us!”

“From you,” I said.

“What’re you--?” His tongue fell silent when he glanced behind me. I smiled.

“Thank you for joining us, Princess,” I said.

“Thank you for telling us what was going on, Lieutenant,” the same voice I’d heard all night from Alamon’s lips intoned. Albeit this sounded gentler, softer, though no less hard at the red figure starting to back away. Behind her, I could hear Starlight’s embittered grunts.

“Thank you for your help as well, Miss Starlight,” I said. “I’d pinned this Twilight as a fake the moment you brought up the nonexistent school incident.”

“You’re more than welcome,” Starlight said, just short of a growl. I could almost see the daggers staring across the room at the quivering form of Alamon.

“I presume you gave them the amulet, Sunburst?” I said.

Sunburst sat up immediately, the last few drops of the oil falling to the floor. “Sure did! Even wrapped it in anti-magic material to make sure it didn’t act up like the first time.”

Alamon leapt towards the open window, wings starting to sprout from his back. His face collided with an invisible field, and he landed back on the floor. A purple force field covered the rest of his body.

“I’ve cloaked the entire hospital in an enchantment,” Twilight said. I could see her now beside me, her violet-streaked mane flowing in the air and sparkling in the dim light. “You were caught the second you stepped inside.”

Alamon growled. “Impossible! My magic would have detected a trap!”

“Wrong again, bozo,” I said. “Funny thing about magic is that we’re always perfecting it, and you're about a thousand years behind the curve. Worst of all, you tried to out-magic some of the best magicians in the land.” I winked at Starlight, who returned the gesture. “Your charade wouldn’t have lasted much longer even if we hadn’t gone up to see Starlight, but she certainly made it easier to catch you.”

“Damn it!” Alamon threw himself against the force field, which merely shimmered with the hit.

“Don’t bother trying,” Twilight said. “We’ve got you dead to rights. I’d hate to have you just plain dead.”

I gave her a half-shocked, half-amused look. “Didn’t know you were so hardcore, Princess.”

A cocky smirk filled her face. “I’ve eaten an entire quesadilla before. I fear no mare or god.”

I sighed. “I’m going to assume that’s an in-joke and move on with my life.”

“A wise choice,” Starlight said. She shot a look towards Sunburst, still scrubbing off the mystery oil I’d lobbed at him. “Just like how it’s wise not to go searching for dangerous artifacts without telling your wife!”

Sunburst went red. “N-No, honey, it’s not what you think! I had no clue the amulet would release Alamon. I just thought it might’ve had a little bit of dark magic in it.” He put his hoof to his head. “Celestia knows, the last thing I wanted to do was release a sociopathic tyrant into Equestria.”

Starlight’s eyebrows raised before she turned to Alamon. “Is this true, Alamon? Your little trinket helped you escape all those millennia ago?”

He gave an amused smile. “Oh, it let me escape all kinds of things, dear Starlight. Give it to me now, and I can make you a princess to match this pretender before you.”

Starlight rolled her eyes. “No, thanks. This 'pretender' is my friend. And I don’t think I could go for somepony who tried to hurt my little Sunny.”

Sunburst blushed, then nuzzled Starlight. Even I felt a certain fuzziness in the place where my heart was supposed to be.

Then I saw Alamon’s horn glowing. Twilight, so enamored in the make-up session, stared away from the full-on blast starting to build up in his bones.

Logic told me her magic was too strong to be overcome, that Alamon was too weak to even break a half-hearted shield Twilight threw up. But instinct rarely listens to logic, and right then, I’d decided to let instinct take control.

“Princess Twilight!” I shouted, leaping forward. I pushed her out of the way just as the red beam pierced the force field, shattering like a glass window, and shot straight out at me.

I felt the heat cover my body, then I felt nothing at all.