I really like the concept of this...

First of all the idea is quite different from what I'm use to. But I could become inveleoped by a story like this!

However Im sorry to say but the execution was not so good, I mean sure we know next to nothing about song-birds personality and such. But don't you think they'd be more confused/worried or maybe scared at the fact they died?

Story is good but I see a little problem. I see that you ain't answering the same question you been asking whose name twice we're going to see the extra giant robot is a griffin but you should have made him a title type Griffin though and you should have had the hippogriff girl whistle the tune the music box that you like so much but the crazy thing you got to have him do though so it's speaking is your hat on talkin to sign language that would have been cool to see not a lot of people in the fanfiction have one of them characters doing sign language also remember this is not my story so do what you do.

The punctuation, spelling, and grammatical errors present in nearly every sentence makes this very difficult to read.

Take your time

Alright I love bioshock