• Member Since 24th Sep, 2019
  • offline last seen Sep 8th, 2022

Technoweb


I'm a technological ghost fear me

Comments ( 18 )

I really like the concept of this...

First of all the idea is quite different from what I'm use to. But I could become inveleoped by a story like this!

However Im sorry to say but the execution was not so good, I mean sure we know next to nothing about song-birds personality and such. But don't you think they'd be more confused/worried or maybe scared at the fact they died?

Story is good but I see a little problem. I see that you ain't answering the same question you been asking whose name twice we're going to see the extra giant robot is a griffin but you should have made him a title type Griffin though and you should have had the hippogriff girl whistle the tune the music box that you like so much but the crazy thing you got to have him do though so it's speaking is your hat on talkin to sign language that would have been cool to see not a lot of people in the fanfiction have one of them characters doing sign language also remember this is not my story so do what you do.

The punctuation, spelling, and grammatical errors present in nearly every sentence makes this very difficult to read.

Comment posted by Technoweb deleted Feb 20th, 2020
Comment posted by Technoweb deleted Feb 20th, 2020
Comment posted by Technoweb deleted Feb 20th, 2020
Comment posted by Technoweb deleted Feb 20th, 2020

Alright I love bioshock

Huh ok besides bad pacing and a lot of grammar errors how are the twins the bad guys when it's shown in the game and lore they are observer's to a infinite time loop and screwing with the loop is something they wouldn't do

10110262
Because why not this is a fanfic and I find the twins to be very confusing when they pop out of nowhere

10110266
True but it's jarring to have a set of netuals suddenly be nefarious it would leave people unsure what's caused it and unless there's plans to make a one shot of events leading to songbird showing up in Equestria whic has a unique overview of them spilling there nefarious plans or songbird brining it up at some point people will be lost and confused though will admit songbird having a sense of no control over his animal instincts makes total logical sense seeing as he is now more sentient to emotions and feelings now

10110273
Don't worry I'll explain what there plans are later in the story

oh I do hope to see more soon:heart:

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