World Domination and What Comes Next

by Strawberry Sunrise

What's a Car?

As he headed away from the castle, Martin looked at the crowd in the street and considered his options. Finally, he decided to start out by simply going up to the first pony he saw and introducing himself. She was a purple pony with a yellow mane and a mark on her flank featuring a cloud partially covering a sun, and she introduced herself as Cloud Kicker.

“Cloud Kicker, eh? Well, how would you like to kick high rates goodbye?” he asked. “Did you know that switching to GEICO could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance?” Immediately after saying that, he facepalmed. Of course she didn’t know. At least with Twilight, he had just told her rather than asking the question.

“Um...what’s a car?” Cloud Kicker asked.

“W...what’s a…what’s a car?” Martin said, taken aback. “Um...it’s a wheeled vehicle. That you drive?”

“You mean a cart?” Cloud Kicker asked, pointing at one down the way that was being pulled by a red pony with a cutie mark like the inside of a green apple. “Or a carriage?”

“Um...no, you don’t pull it. It just...moves on its own?” Martin offered.

“Like a go-kart? Nopony pulls those; their momentum comes from gravity,” Cloud Kicker said.

“No, I don’t think so,” Martin said. “It has an engine, and...”

Cloud Kicker stared at him blankly for a long moment. “I'm sorry, I guess I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said. “But it was nice meeting you. I’ve got to go.” And she started walking away.

“Wait!” he said, but she kept walking.

Sighing, he moved on, next trying a grey pony with slightly crossed eyes. After introducing himself and learning that her name was Derpy Hooves, he said, “Have you ever heard of a car?”

“A car?” Derpy asked. “Um...nope.”

Martin sighed. Now that he thought back on his conversation with Twilight and how she had said car insurance would only be useful if she bought a car in the human world, it seemed likely that cars simply didn’t even exist in this world. He’d have to talk to GEICO headquarters about expanding into insurance for things like carts and carriages if they wanted to make more headway here, but for now he had his work cut out for him. He still wanted to sign as many ponies as possible to the car insurance contracts he already had before the meeting on Friday.

“Hello? Mister?” Derpy said.

“Oh, sorry,” Martin said. He had been lost in thought for a moment. Sighing again, he launched into an improvised spiel about what cars were and why Derpy might want to commit to GEICO car insurance now even though they apparently didn’t exist here. Derpy listened intently, nodding several times throughout and even smiling once or twice. He started feeling a bit better about his prospects again.

“And that’s why you should commit to GEICO car insurance now - you never know when cars might be invented,” he said, finishing up after at least five long minutes of talking. Derpy nodded, and there was a long pause.

“So, what do you say?” Martin asked. “Ready to sign up?” He took a contract and a quill from his bag and held them out.

“Nope,” Derpy said.

“What?” Martin lowered his arms. “But...but you...but…”

“I just don’t think I need that,” Derpy said.

“But...but...are you sure?” Martin asked.

“Yep,” Derpy said. “But thanks, anyway. See ya!” And she left.

Martin stood in silence for a moment, holding the contract and quill and pondering his options. He could give up now, go home, and have a nice Wednesday and Thursday off, showing headquarters Twilight’s contract on Friday and maybe coming back with further instructions after that. Or he could keep on trying to sell car insurance to ponies who didn’t even have cars.

Well, no one could say he wasn’t persistent.