Christmas With A Cat

by My Little Epona

We Know The Holiday Begins Because Our Decorations Are Trying To Eat Us

We Know The Holiday Begins Because Our Decorations Are Trying To Eat Us

It was absolutely beautiful out, as any town would be at this time of year.

Snow drifted softly, produced from a sky thick with pale gray clouds, forming fluffy drifts on the ground. Children laughed and cheered, chasing each other through the streets of Ponyville. Stallions and mares greeted each other as they passed, calling out wishes of good will and love.

In addition to the festive snow showers, there was a tall evergreen tree that stood in the center of the town square. Pegasi fluttered around it, hanging decorations here and there on the long, bristly branches. Colored lights were strung from house to house, blinking with holiday cheer.

And then…there was our house.

The only undecorated house on the entire block.

I shifted my weight slightly, leaning against the back of the couch. My sky blue eyes roamed the scenery outside again, resting on the bountiful, cheery décor.

I sighed, my breath fogging up the window, and I lifted a purple-furred hoof to draw a sad-looking face in the steam. It looked quite appropriate against the backdrop of our front yard—cold and gray, devoid of the color and light that adorned the others.

“Mom?” I asked, hopping off the couch and trotting to the kitchen. “I’ve been thinking—isn’t it about time we decorate our house?”

Mom paused in her work, turning to look thoughtfully out the window. The view was of the street outside our house, adorned with décor even if it was a street not often visited.

“Well…” She chewed her lip, clearly hesitant. “We really should have them up by now. But getting them would mean….well…you know.”

The memories her words provoked made me shiver. Our gazes met, then turned to the side…looking at The Door.

The Door lead to a dark, bone-chilling place.

It was a place where shadows dwelt and monsters thrived.

It was a place of unspeakable horror.

It was……

The Basement.

Ooh! I think I just made a great title for a horror film! And I wasn’t even trying!

“Well…..wedid get rid of last year’s leftover….creatures.” I pointed out. “I mean, what are the odds something spawned down there within the past year? Shouldn’t it be probably maybe sort of okay to try and kind of go down? Maybe?”

“Well, I don’t know.” Mom sighed. “After all, you remember last year.”

“You just won’t let that go, will you?” Both mom and I jumped as my older sister, Song Bird, poked her head through the door, looking disapproving. “Because in my defense, I had no idea that turnip was haunted.”

“Please don’t bring that up.” I said, the memories making me shudder. “That Hearth’s Warming was a nightmare.”

“Okay, but really.” Song Bird waved a pale pink hoof through the air to accentuate her point. “The salespony looked fairly normal.”

“Normal?” I protested. “He had three eyes and you call him normal? What even possessed you to by a turnip?”

“It just felt like a good idea at the time!” Song protested, shrugging. “Besides! I didn’t know he had three eyes at the time. He was wearing a dark cloak.”

“And that didn’t send up any red flags?” I insisted.

“Stop arguing.” Mom sighed.

“Hey, are we talking about last years decorations?” My younger brother, Book Whiz, trotted into the kitchen. “Does that mean we’re going to start decorating soon?”

“It means we’re thinking about it.” Mom corrected.

In perfect sync, we all glanced at The Door again.

“….we could draw straws.” Book suggested lamely.

“Are ghosts immune to spontaneous combustion?” I wondered. “You know, purely out of curiosity.”

“We’re keeping you far away from any lighter fluid.” Mom said firmly.

“We could flip a coin?” Song Bird said, shrugging.

“Guess a number between one and ten?” I offered.

“Arm wrestle?”

“Race?”

“Super Smash Bros tournament?”

“Whoever gets chewed on by the cat gets to go down last?”

“But Twinkle, that means you.”

“My point exactly!”

“I think we’ll pull names from a hat this year.” Mom decided. “Come on. Let’s get this done today! To the living room.”

-----------------------------------------------------

Soon afterwards, most of our family was gathered in the living room. We all squished onto the three couches, grouped around the long coffee table in the center of the room. The meeting included mom, Song Bird, me, Book Whiz, and my three younger brothers Teddy, Sir Rights-a-Lot, and Wiggles.

….okay, “Sir Rights-a-Lot” is a nickname.
And old, beat-up hat lay on the table, full of crumpled scraps of paper. Each paper had a name on it—that is, except for Wiggles, because he was only a toddler.

The hat became enveloped in a shimmering purple aura as mom levitated it into the air, tossing it a couple times to shuffle the paper inside. She closed her eyes, reaching out with a sky blue-colored hoof, and tapped the edge of a scrap.

We waited with bated breath as she grabbed the paper in her magic, levitating it away from the hat, which she set back down on the coffee table.

She unfolded the paper, smoothing out the creases, and cleared her throat.

“……..Book Whiz.” She read.

“Noooo!” My brother moaned, flopping over on the couch. “Come on! Out of everypony it had to be me!”

“Chin up!” Song Bird smiled cheerfully. “There’s a very high chance you won’t die.”

“If there was a life-threatening situation living in our basement, Princess Celestia would know by now.” I said, attempting to reinforce my sister’s claim.

“Doesn’t make me feel better.” Book grumbled, burying his face in a pillow.

“If you die, can I have your nerf guns?” Teddy asked.

…….did I forget to mention we’re all very nice and absolutely love each other?

“Are you sure ghosts are immune to spontaneous combustion?” I said. “Cause I bet Book could use a flamethrower down there.”

“Well, if he gets a flamethrower, can I take his place?” Teddy asked, bouncing up and down in excitement.

“No flamethrowers.” Mom said sternly.

“Aaaaww!” Teddy and Rights-a-Lot said at the same time.

“Pitchfork and a torch at least?” Book begged, hugging the pillow to himself.

“Okay, first of all, do we evenhave a pitchfork?” I asked. “And if we do…how come I didn’t know?”

“For two reasons.” Mom said. “Reason one, we don’t actually have one. And reason number two, even if we did, we’d never tell you.”

“Do you know how many uses a pitchfork can have in daily life? A fork, a gardening tool, a golf club, a weapon during riots….”

“Sometimes I worry about you.” Song sighed.

“Well, Twinkle’s murderous tendencies aside, there’s really no point in putting this off.” Book Whiz sighed, standing up. He’d seemingly resigned himself to his fate. “I never thought I’d die young, but...everypony has a time to go. I just this is just mine.” He walked over to the door, and we all trailed after him.

“Oh, please.” I snorted. “Stop being so dramatic. You’ll be absolutely fine!”

“I’m 100% in agreement.” Song assured him. “But…..if you see something with glowing eyes and lots of teeth staring at you, then….I wouldn’t suggest making any sudden movements.”

“Can I scream?” Book asked.

“Screaming’s probably fine.”

“Oh, and if you see something that looks kind of like a platypus and a donkey had a baby, and then that baby coughed up a hairball, then you should run.” I said. “Wise words. The triforce cat pony has spoken.”

“I thought you didn’t want to think about the haunted turnip?” Song quipped.

“Just warning him…..”

Book Whiz braced himself, shoving open the door. It revealed endless black depths of black blackness below, with a single, rickety staircase disappearing into those depths….

Yeah. Not much of a description to go on, but it’s pretty accurate.

Just go with it, ‘kay?

Thanks.

Book took a deep breath,tentatively setting foot on the first step. He gave us a nervous look, then began descending into the darkness below.

“Are you sure I can’t have a flamethrower?” He whined, every step becoming more and more hesitant.

“Very sure.” Mom said.

“Are you sure I can’t have a flamethrower?” Teddy asked.

“Even more sure.”

After a second, silence reigned. Book Whiz had vanished, and though we all strained our ears for some hint of sound….everything was completely quiet.

“….Book?” I called, peering into the shadows.

“I’m good!” Book Whiz reappeared, trotting up the stairs. We all gave a collective sigh of relief.

“It seems pretty clear down there.” My brother glanced behind him. “I didn’t see anything—but I also didn’t turn on any lights. I think they’re burnt out.”

“Typical.” Mom sighed. “But let’s go.”

I breathed a barely-perceptible sigh of relief.Maybe…maybe this year would slide off without a hitch.

The three Unicorns—my mom, Song Bird, and I—lit our horns. The combined, multicolored light illuminated the steps, revealing where they met the floor below. Mom trotted down first, then signaled for us to follow her.

We huddled together nervously, keeping a sharp eye out for anything moving. Beyond the range of magical light, everything was an impenetrable mass of dark shapes and shadows, and that heightened our awareness.

But...nothing happened.

We touched down on the cold concrete floor of our unfinished basement, and nothing leapt out and bit us…like it had last year.

Or the year before that.

Once, we had vampire bats. That was an interesting holiday.

Luckily, the decorations weren’t stored too far from the staircase. My sister was nominated to walk the three extra steps and grab the plastic crates that our décor was contained in.

“Okay, got the decorations.” She crept backwards, levitating three large, dented, red and green boxes. “I think we’re good.”

Mom nodded, continuing to scan the shadows. I moved aside to let Song back onto the stairs, and we grouped around her as she began trotting upwards again, decorations floating before her.

If there was one thing we’d learned about our basement, it was that strength was in numbers.

Scratch.

We froze.

“No. Sudden. Movements.” Mom ordered in a fierce whisper.

Scriitch scratch scratch.

I turned very, veeery slowly.

“Do….you see something?” Song asked quietly, voice trembling.

“We’re looking.” Mom said. “Sssh.”

A shadow flickered in one of the corners.

“There!” Teddy hissed, pointing at it. We all whipped around, turning to look that way. I summoned the courage to cast my horn light upon that area.

Something dark and spiky-looking hissed at me, scuttling beyond reach of the light. All I caught sight of were long, dark tentacles.

“Okay, there’s definitely something there...” I said, trying to keep my voice from trembling.

“Everypony, up the stairs.” Mom ordered. “Slowly.”

The other nodded, muscles tense as they began to slowly creep up the stairs.

Apparently, whatever was in the basement didn’t like the idea of it’s prey escaping.

There was a massive roar, and the thing leapt at us, looming in the light of my magic. Song screamed, dropping the container of decorations on the stairs. Mom bucked the creature in the face, shoving the rest of us up the stairs.The thing screeched in pain, falling back and allowing us time to escape.

“Go!” Mom barked. “Now!” Luckily, Book Whiz remembered to grab the décor, clutching it in his wings as we sped up the stairs.

We hurtled through the door, and I slammed it closed, throwing my body against it.

“Well...” Teddy panted. “That (gasp) was (wheeze) weird.”
“At least we trapped it in the basement.” Book set down the box, wiping sweat off my forehead. “Now we don’t have to worry about it coming upstairs!”

Of course…...as soon as he said that…...something slammed against the door.

The tiny amount of non-existent upper body strength I had couldn’t hold against it. Why exactly was I the one holding the monster at bay?

The door snapped off it’s hinges, and I leapt forwards to avoid being crushed beneath it. The monster roared at us, leaping free of the basement shadows.

Now that it was in full light, I could see it clearly.

It’s main body was circular in shape, a jagged-looking hole through it’s center. At first I assumed the hole was where mom had bucked it, but then I realized it was actually natural. Long, squid-like tentacles stretched forth from it’s sides, flickering to and fro menacingly. It was spiky, a dull tan, and overall looked like a piece of foliage.

“Wait...” I said. “Is that….”

“Last years Christmas wreath?” My sister finished.

The monster seemed to reply for us, roaring again.

How did it do that? It didn’t even have a mouth!

“RUUUNNN!” Book yelled.

We took his advice, scattering down the hallway and diving into different doors. I zipped into the living room, flipping over a couch to take refuge behind it. I was joined by Song, Teddy, and Book. The monster wreath thankfully followed us, leaving my mom to grab my two youngest brothers and take them to a safer place.

The monster, which I decided to name Fluffy, tore into the living room. I fired a weak, sputtering beam of magical energy from my horn, which burnt a hole in our wall, but missed Fluffy by about three feet. It seemed to scare him, however, and he retreated, picking up shoes from the hall and whipping them towards us by way of attack. Footwear rained from the sky, thudding against our meager shelter.

“I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WE HAD THIS MANY SHOES!” I yelled.

“Guys!”Song pounded her hoof into her other one. “We need to form a plan!”

“Plan?” Book’s eyes were wide and suddenly bloodshot. “There is no plan. We’re trapped, cut off from reinforcements! WE’RE DOOMED!”

At this panicked cry, I slapped him over the face, prompting a painful yelp.

“Pull yourself together, man!” I yelled. “We didn’t come here to fail, did we? We have a mission to do!”

“Wait, we do?” Teddy said.

“Of course!” I sniffed. “Our mission is to...um….” My voice trailed off. “To….uh...um….okay, sue me. I lied. We don’t have a mission.”

“……..what were we talking about?” Song asked.

I shrugged.

“Can you believe it’s still throwing shoes at us?” Book sighed, risking a peek out from behind the arm rest. “Did you even know we had this many shoes? I swear they even all look the same. What is happening?”

“Guys, I need you to cover me!” Teddy barked, startling us. “I have a plan!” He pulled a cushion from the couch’s inverted seat, holding it in front of him.

“Cover you with what?” I asked curiously.

“I don’t know. Just cover me!”

“Well….sure.” Song shrugged. “I guess we can do that.”

“I’M GOING IN!” Teddy leapt out into the open, hiding behind the cushion. Shoes slammed into it, carrying the force of an avalanche behind them, but he held.

“FEAR NOT, DEAR BROTHER!” I yelled, jumping up and standing on top of the couch, striking a dramatic pose. “WE WILL PROVIDE COVER WHILE YOU CARRY OUT THIS DARING MISSION—”

A shoe nailed me in the face.

I fell backwards, behind the couch.

“Rude.” I scoffed, trying to realign my eyes. “You just can’t let a pony finish a speech, can you?”

“GUYS! I REALLY DO NEED SOME FORM OF COVER!” Teddy yelled.

“Oh, that’s right.” Song realized. “Um…..”

We all looked around. The ground was thick with shoes—seriously. We don’t even have this many. This was a whole Payless’s worth of shoes—but other than that, there was nothing we could use to help Teddy.

“Sorry!” I called. “I think you’re on your own! Maybe we should have thought this out a little more...”

Teddy groaned. He dug through the shoes—which were now waist deep—continuing to use the cushion as a cover against the barricade before vanishing into the next room.

“Welp, I suppose we’d better get comfy now.” Song yawned loudly, leaning against the couch. “We could be here for quite a while.”

“Uuuugh.” I groaned, slumping back. “I wish I had a book or something. This sort of thing is always way more exciting when it comes to action movies.”

“I’m hungry.” Book sighed.

“Do you know where mom is?” I asked.

“Well, she’s not in this room.” Song pointed out.

“Well, thanks, Captain Obvious.” I said, rolling my eyes. “I had no idea..”

“How would I know where she is?” Song said, spreading out her arms. “I haven’t seen her.”

“MWA HA HAAAA!!!!! YOU WILL SUFFER!!!!!!!”

“Oh, it’s Teddy.”

The rain of endless shoes stopped, and we tentatively peered over the edge of the couch.

Teddy had somehow managed to get hold of a pair of hedge trimmers, and was in the midst of an epic battle with Fluffy.

The trimmers sheered off one of the scraggly tentacles, and the monster gave an angry roar.

“DIE!!!!!!!!!! DIE YOU VILE CREATURE!!!!!!!!!” Teddy swung the gardening tool like a sword. Fluffy roared a challenge in return, swiping at him with a tentacle.

“Popcorn?” Book offered, holding out a plastic tub with his wing.

“Ooh! Thanks.” I said, taking some. Mmm. It was crunchy and buttery. “…...wait a second. Where did you get that?”

Book shrugged.

Splat. Squish. Splatter.

Liberal amounts of sticky golden sap spurted over the floor.

“Oh….ooh….um….” Song raised a hoof halfway, an uneasy expression on her face.

Splut. Splot. Splosh.

“Um….Teddy?” I said, eyeing his crazed expression. “Maybe you should—ack!” I ducked a splatter of sap. “Maybe you should easy up a bit.”

Splitter. Slosh. Splat.

“Okay.” Song said firmly. “No more hedge trimmers.” She stepped out from behind the couch, and was instantly drenched in the sticky liquid.

“Eeeeeew.” I shuddered. Song looked down at herself, standing flank-deep in shoes that all looked like each other, dripping golden sap, watching our deranged brother hack at the finely-minced Fluffy.

“Okay. Trimmer time is over.” Book leapt into the air, his wings vibrating as he soared over the stretch of sap-coated shoes. He hovered cautiously above Teddy, then kicked them out of his grasp when he saw an opening.

“Think you got him?” I asked, crunching on some more popcorn.

“Where did you even find those?” Song asked.

“The hedge trimmers?” Teddy said. “Behind the refrigerator.”

“Behind the what?” I said, perching on top of the couch. “Okay. We should probably add that to our list of places to clean. Right next to ‘beneath the piano’.”

“But if we disturb their homes, the dwarves will be mad!”

I blinked a couple times.

“……..not gonna ask.”

“Woah.” We jumped, realizing mom was back. She stood in the hallway, just beyond the crime scene that was Fluffy’s death bed and the avalanche of footwear. “What happened here?”

“Um, magically cloning shoes?” I offered. “And Teddy with hedge trimmers?”

“…...not gonna ask.”

“Hey, that’s what I said!”

“Well, now we have to get this cleaned up.” Mom sighed. “Preferably before dad comes home. Because the front door is a little bit blocked by shoes and such—he’d probably have to come in through a window.”

“Well…at least we got the decorations.” Song said, offering half a smile. It was a fruitless attempt.

Yup. This was a great start to the holiday.

Author's Note:

........I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore.

Comments

[My Sister Tia]

So good and interesting!