There you are, you sneaky little bastard.
A cute (and surely delicious) bunny was hopping briskly through the lush, rain soaked forest of Everfree. There had been a colossal downpour last night, and I, being the favoured son of lady luck that I was, was caught in the middle of it. Do you know what that's like when you have wooden flesh? Imagine having a rash, just all over.
I'm a timber wolf, you see, which means that almost every part of me is made out of wood (*Sigh* and yes, before you ask that includes... *Ahem*, that area) . Have you ever felt wet wood? Yes? Well could you imagine being made out of the stuff? Yeah, getting wet is that uncomfortable for me, especially around the crotch. The simple act of raising my leg to pee turns into an effing ballad of torture.
But anyways, I'd rather not go into details. I'm kind of in the middle of a hunt here. Not a pack hunt, no, we only get together when taking down the bigger animals, y'know, deer and stuff (Don't look at me like that, I'll have you know that a full grown deer can kick pretty damned hard). I was flying solo, on this rabbit's tail like stink on manticore crap.
The chase had started a good hour or so ago, and I've got to give it to him (or her, it's pretty hard to tell with rabbits), he, or she, had put up a pretty good run. The rabbit thought it lost me about half a mile or so back, and to be honest, it kind of did. I spent the last half hour tracking this little sod's scent, and now, I had finally found the fuzzy little SOB. Right now I was eyeing him up from a nearby bush, kneading the sodden dirt with my paws, readying myself to pounce on it and off the little bugger.
The rabbit in question was snowy white, which was great, because in the forest, that meant he stuck out like a sore paw. It was also kind of weird, seeing as most bunnies around Everfree were either brown or grey so they could blend in with the environment better (The brown ones have more flavour. The more you know, right?). But hey, who am I to question a good thing? The rabbit seemed frightened (and tasty), petrified even. In fact, I think I could actually see it shaking. Good, that'll get it's blood pumping, I mean, who doesn't love a warm meal, right?
I'll just let it get a liiiiiitlle bit closer, yeah, that's right, wander over this way, just a bit more, don't be shy, there's nothing here, just take a couple more steps you adorable little appetiser. Almost... Allllllmooossst-
"Angel?"
The bunny's ears perked upwards as it's small head snapped to the side, and it dashed off towards the voice.
God damnit!
I leap out of my hiding place in chase of the blasted rabbit, I'd wasted an entire bloody hour hunting this buck-toothed little shit, it was not getting away from me.
Soon enough, the rabbit notices me closing in, and doubles its speed. It weaves in and out of trees and hurdles over rocks and boulders in a feeble attempt to shake me. Sorry mate, but I've lived in this forest since I was a cub, his here is my world, I ain't going nowhere.
I urge myself to go faster, my legs pumping harder and harder, like a set of well oiled pistons. I thread through the trees like liquid, and glide over the boulders and ditches with ease. I've been hunting my entire life, overcoming obstacles such as these had pretty much become second nature to me. Out here in the wild, you either adapt or you die. I had adapted, and at the moment, it sure as hell looked like this rabbit was going to die.
"Angel, there you are!"
I look up to see a cream-coloured pony with a pink mane smiling warmly at my prey, beckoning it with open hooves. Don't even think about touching that rabbit, you pastel coloured skank, that's my kill, MY KILL! Her emerald green eyes flick to me, and her smile fades away almost instantly. Her pupils shrink as she recoils in terror. Without a second thought, she lets out an ear-piercing wail of horror. As me and 'Angel', as the pony called the rabbit, draw closer, she throws her forelegs over her head and shrinks into the ground. The rabbit latches on to one of her legs, shaking it wildly in an effort to get her moving, but all she can do is shiver. That's right, you fluffy little meal on heels, your pony can't help you now, you delectable douchebag, get your furry little ass in my belly!
"Fluttershy, watch out!" Shouts a voice from behind me. Suddenly, I'm blinded by a bright, purple flash. My right forleg goes numb, not just 'slept on it' numb, I mean completely and utterly numb. My Legs give way under me and my wooden hide is sent tumbling through the dirt.
Okay, so I tripped up, big deal, the rabbit isn't going anywhere, so no loss. I'll just get up, find whatever hit me, eat the living crap out of it and scoff the rabbit as seconds. Fullproof plan, really. But as I try to get to my feet, I'm met with a grisly surprise.
my leg isn't just numb, it's fucking gone.
The whole bottom half of my right forleg was just... missing. There was nothing there.... Just a stump, a blackened, smouldering stump. The numbness fades, replaced with agony.
Oh gods it hurts! It's like my nerves are on fire! No, it's actually worse than that, dear wolf-gods, it's like there's bloody magma in my veins! The gory stump pulsates with waves of pain which flow through my entire body. I... I can't move, it's just too much, I-I think I'm going to throw up. I start to lose the feeling in my remaining limbs as more and more blood seeps from my wound. I'm parched all of a sudden, so parched I feel as if I'll turn into a mound of salt if I don't get some water. I'm just so... Thirsty. Everything's going dark, and blurry. On the upside, everything's starting to hurt a lot less. Am I... Dying?
I can only whimper in protest as my vision begins to fail me. Are those voices? It's hard to hear over the high-pitched ringing in my ears. Must be the pony and my assailant, discussing what they're going to do with me. Leave me to die? Finish me off? Just sit there, pop open a brewski, and watch me bleed out? Either way I'm screwed, a timber wolf missing a leg is as good as dead. I can just about make out a purple glow surrounding me. Suddenly, I feel light, almost as if I'm floating. Well, I guess this is it. I'm actually kind of disapointed that my life doesn't flash before my eyes, it would have been pretty cool to have a quick once-over of my mediocre existence before I bit the dust. Ah well, I had to die sometime, besides, all dogs go to heaven, right?
'Then again, you're a timber wolf...'
Oh shut up, brain. Your logic isn't welcome here.
Fluttershy slowly unfolded herself from the foetal position, unsure as to why she was still breathing. The wolf should have wrapped those big, sharp, flesh-slicing jaws of his around her neck by now. For a pony she knew a lot about timber wolves (Well, she knew a lot about most animals). They were mainly carnivorous, had a unique biology, and were extremely infamous when it came to their vicious attitude towards ponies. In fact, they were responsible for the deaths of at least eighty ponies per year, making them one of Everfree forest's most blood thirsty animals, second only to the dreaded hydra (manticores were actually surprisingly gentle, and, despite popular protests, rarely attacked anypony). That wolf could probably rip open her gut and gobble up her insides in under a minute. So, why didn't he? Risking a peek from between her hooves, she found her answer.
"Oh... my."
She stared at the muddled pile of tangled wooden limbs sprawled across the grass, one of its legs absent. Blood was gradually beginning to pool around the glistening stump of a wound where the wolf's leg should have been. Dozens of splinters and miniscule scraps of wood shavings littered the ground around her, and red specks of the wolf's blood had peppered her coat like horrible, oozing polka dots.
"Fluttershy!" screamed Twilight as she rushed to her friends side. "I... I didn't mean to, I just saw it running towards you and I... oh sweet Celestia, I only wanted to stun it! I d-d-didn't..."
Tears began to flow from Twilight Sparkle's violet eyes as she took in the torn and battered body of the timber wolf. Had she killed it? Was she a murderer? Her chest tightened a wave of guilt crashed over her. She had only been trying to help! She didn't mean to hurt it, she didn't! She torn her eyes away from the gory sight, instead focusing on Fluttershy, who, to her horror, was freckled with blood.
Suddenly, something switched in Fluttershy's head. She didn't register the blood, she tuned out Twilight's mournful sobbing, and concentrated on the task that now laid at hoof.
Saving this poor animal's life.
Hmmm... you got an interesting idea here. But capitalization is key my friend. Makes you look like you got some form of education.
the foal and the timber wolf
The Foal and the Timber Wolf
follow the white rabbit.
Follow the White Rabbit.
i
I
You get the idea.
Hmm. A bit shaky on grammar, frequent errors in capitalization, and a few lapses in spelling.
However. The story itself I like. I want to see more. Work on your grammar and stuff, and you might really have something here. I'll withhold a like for now, but I expect to see more.
I wounder what Big Mac will say about the thing.
I second this. This looks to be quite a cool story idea, but you need to proofread your stories and capitalise everything that needs to be capitalised.
Otherwise it'll turn people off from the entire story. It almost did me.
Also, don't forget to capitalise the Title and Summary as well!
-Phil
a few errors here and there, but a good story, lets track it and see where it goes.
All of the above. Please get someone to preread for you. Reread your own story several times yourself, try reading it out loud. You will catch a lot of stuff that way. Use spell check but don't trust it too far, it doesn’t care if it's the right word, just is it spelled right. Good premise, will watch to see what happens
1105459 GAH! Capitalisation, my one true enemy! i'll get it fixed, scout's honour.
1105479 I apologise for the dodgy grammar and what not, I can't proof-read for the life of me, but don't worry, i'm working on it.
1105617 you're totally right, i have a terrible habbit of just throwing stuff out there without checking it first, i'll get it fixed, or die horribly trying
1105679 No worries, I can't read my own work either. I tend to skim automatically, and that defeats the purpose of proofreading, doesn't it?
But there are plenty of folks on this site who'll proofread for you if you ask, so don't worry.
1105485 He will turn into a jet and start a war with Alaska...
1105702 Wonderful :)
1105706
Sweeeeet...
Sounds good, I'm gonna add to read later
okay, it's been proofread, anybody sees any errors, don't hesitate to tell me
You got it proofread!
I commented earlier, but it seems to have disappeared into comment limbo. Like you never knew I said before, I'm noticing a pattern here: You write something, it has problems, but I keep reading because you come up with good ideas and create solid stories.
My last comment included words like "errors" and "capitalization", but you got it cleaned up for the most part
There are a few problems here. The Timber Wolf is a little too intelligent. I'm all for him being able to think and all, but how would a wolf know what a brewskie is? Or magma? Just small stuff like that. Try to include Timber Wolf culture, which doesn't exist, so have fun making up an entire civilization!
1107121 i've added the intelligence for both comedic effect and to make the Timber Wolf more relatable, and the culture? it's going to be awesome! If there's anything you want from Timber Wolf culture be sure t tell me (i was thinking various gods, obsession with hunting etc)
1108753 The gods part was a nice add, and I think having multiple gods is great for a hunting species like that.
1110050 cool, i'll make sure to throw it in there next chapter or so.
Aren't timber wolves made of multiple pieces of wood, bark and leaves so wouldn't it be sap leaking from the injury and anyway aren't timber wolves held together by wild magic?
9601308
This is different from cannon