A Tangled Web We Weave

by BellChime

The Summons

Author's Note:

I was told the original circumstances of Golden Sands were too dark. So I altered them.

Knock, knock, went a silvery gray hoof on the door to the front entrance of the Rich residence one fine sunny morning shortly after Princess Celestia and Princess Luna's retirement.

Filthy Rich, who was working on Barnyard Bargains finances, got up quite unassumingly and opened the door to come face to face with three ponies: The silvery gray hoof's owner, an earth pony stallion, flanked by a pegasus mare and a rather young and awkward looking unicorn stallion.

But none of that was important.

The important part was that they wore police uniforms.

"Is this the Rich residence?" Asked the silvery gray earth pony, who, judging by his seniority and the fact that he was in the center, was the leader.

Filthy Rich, as was to be expected to be confronted by 3 policemen, was rather surprised and confused. "Yes..." Why do you want to know? His surprised and confused face silently asked.

The lead police pony cut to the point: "My name is Silver Cuffs. Were you in Canterlot two days ago on business?"

"...Yes. Why?"

"Were you in the home of one Miss Golden Sands?"

"...Yes. I don't-"

"An hour after you left, Miss Golden Sands was found guilty of some major embezzlement charges. I'm afraid you are a suspected accomplice, due to your forging close ties with her recently."

Filthy Rich's eyes widened. "I assure you, I had no clue that she was being dishonest in any-"

"Now, Rich, we didn't say you did. But you need to come with us to Canterlot so we can ask you some questions. Shouldn't take more then a few days."

Filthy Rich still looked worried.

"It was a huge scam." Silver Cuffs continued. "In the past hour alone there's been a government shut down, thousands of tax forms have been found fraudulent...her business empire has been brought to a screeching halt, thousands of innocent ponies out of job...heavy, heavy stuff. That's why we're taking it so seriously."

There was a pause as Filthy Rich considered. Then he faced the three officers, sat down on his haunches, and offered out his forehooves.

Silver Cuffs nodded and motioned to his pegasus partner, who used her right wing to produce a pair of silver cuffs, like the ones for which he was named.

But then, before he could clip on the hoof cuffs, a pink blur zipped into his vision.

"What the-" Began Filthy Rich and Silver Cuffs.

"You can't take my Daddy away!" Diamond Tiara whined. "He's innocent! He doesn't deserve to be petrifiiieeed!!!"

Filthy blushed a deep crimson before turning to glare down at his daughter. "Diamond Tiara, I thought you were up doin' your homework! How long have you been spyin'?"

Now it was Diamond Tiara's turn to blush. "Oh, well, you know-"

Though ever since Diamond Tiara's miraculous change of heart thanks to the cutie mark crusaders, she had become much more manageable. Filthy Rich was beginning to take a firmer stand in parenting, but even now he was still generous enough to leave things as they were.

Thus, it was Silver Cuffs who ratted her out. "I wondered what that pink hoof was sticking
out from under that table was doing..."

He narrowed his eyes at Diamond Tiara.

Filthy Rich, with this new information, narrowed his eyes at his daughter even more. "Diamond Tiara, what have I told you about spyin' on me when I'm doing business!?"

"I can't help it!" Diamond Tiara excused herself. "I must pacify my insatiable curiosity!"

"Diamond, I'm going to have to ask you to leave now," Filthy Rich muttered.

Diamond Tiara stomped her hoof. "No! I wanna hear what they have to say!"

"It does not concern you," Silver Cuffs retorted. "Please let me do my job and-"

"Listen, buster." Diamond Tiara interrupted. "I don't know what you want, but I know my Daddy, and I know he would never do that stuff to anypony! So butt out and go arrest somebody else!"

Silver Cuffs, who was very grumpy from traveling all the way from Canterlot and not good with children (much less bratty children) even on his best days, had gone from rather annoyed to actually angry.

"Little girl, obstructing a police officer is a crime!" He snapped.

"Y-Yes, Diamond Tiara," Agreed Filthy Rich, who was currently experiencing a cocktail of embarassment, fear, and annoyance, "Please just let the police ponies do their jobs. Please?"

"But you're innocent!"

Filthy, catching the expressions on Silver Cuffs and his two partners, cleared his throat, straightened his posture, and declared, "Now, Diamond Tiara Rich The Second! You are being very foolish right now-"

"You're the fool!" Diamond Tiara howled, her face bright red and tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. "Don't you know what they do to criminals?! They turn 'em to stone! STONE!"

"Diamond Tiara, I am not going to be turned to stone. Now I suggest you hush up or I will put Randolf on break for a week. Yes, I am absolutely serious."

Diamond Tiara gasped. No Randolph meant...

"Diamond Tiara, straighten your posture!"

"Diamond Tiara, come here and practice sitting still while Mommy does her make-up!"

"Diamond Tiara, is it true that you were associating with the Cutie Mark Cavorters again?!"

Diamond Tiara, I don't know what's come over you! I've taught you this many times; friendship doesn't get you places, but the right connections do!"

"Mommy's going to keep her perfect little gem shiny-clean, or I'm not Spoiled Rich!"

This isn't possible! Daddy knows how Mother is! All this stress about being turned to stone must be getting to him. Ugh...a week alone with Mother...

She stared pleadingly up at her father, but his stern stare was unwavering.

Then, seeing that reasoning with her father was going nowhere, Diamond Tiara turned around and galloped up the stairs, making sure to bang down on the steps as hard as she could, so that police would know how much of a disturbance they had caused. She also was in a rush to bring in the last resorts. Desperate times call for desperate measures... She thought grimly.

The police and her father watched her go silently. For the police ponies, it was a happy silence, because now there was nothing stopping them doing what they came here for. With Filthy Rich, it was bittersweet, sweet because asserting himself over Diamond Tiara was still no mean feat; bitter because he hated to see her so upset. But not bitter enough to give in to her demands.

He cleared his throat awkwardly, deciding that there was no point in delaying.

"Sorry about that, gents." He said. "Would you like to come in for a drink so I can inform my wife and my servants of the situation?"

Silver Cuffs squinted at him. "Er...I guess it would be OK, as long as you're cuffed..."

Comments

[Ellington]

Considering shooting at crowds with fireworks, kicking your interrogator in the butt, drowning ponies in smooze, destroying the weather factory, banishing ponies to other dimensions, and chucking others off cliffs are all legal in Equestria I'm pretty sure nothing is considered against the law there.

[Quinch]

9904080
Yeah, but all of those things could have just hurt or even killed ponies.

Whereas this is embezzlement, boyo!