Meta Gamer in Equestria: Champion's Folly

by reflective vagrant

The Brother Shaped Hole in my Heart. (Pain, Part 4)

"I'm telling you! Speaks with Talons knew human body language after being near me for so long. He knew Dalock surrendered, and then reached for something. Right, Tempest?"

It had been four days since the battle. Tempest was looking around the tavern, getting increasingly worried. "I agree, Moss. I saw it too. That doesn't change the fact the courts felt Speaks with Talons didn't hear the surrender and dismissed that particular act as a prisoner simply executing his right to self defense against an unprovoked attacker. At least take solace that he will be persecuted for his ethical crimes against the diamond dog village for experimenting on them, as well as being responsible for the plagues. But if you keep pressing the point then none of our team's testimony will stick in court and he will get off of every charge short of the more recent attacks."

Plasma Wave had retired and went back to his family in Manehattan when I had healed him, but when news reached him of our common comrade's falling, he was by my side in Canterlot the next day. Step by step, he helped me cry. He didn't tell me to get over it, nor did any of the other old crew mates. Even the cold and calculating Tempest refused to tell me to do that. She held the bravest face among the old crew, but every creature of the old crew could tell she was mourning in her own way.

"Hey, do you think you could take your tall friend and get him out of here?" A normal tavern patron called out to the group, "I mean I don't want trouble, but I think it's pretty clear he's had a few too many drinks for his own good and should go sleep it off."

Plasma Wave turned to her, taking the long way in his turn to show his damaged wing as he did so. With a stern face, he retorted.

"Mam, he isn't drunk. He doesn't even drink alcohol. He's just that upset right now. We lost a comrade in arms, and he was the closest to them among us by far."

She gave a huff and I turned enough to see her roll her eyes. "Well, at least do your best to keep it contained, would you? We're expecting a performance from Guiding Star tonight and she hates it when she has to sing over the crowd. I mean since he's the only one of his kind even allowed to serve in the military, it's not like it was a family member."

It was then that I fell from the short stepping stool they gave me to let me sit at the raised elevation of the bar "properly" and right back down to my knees, quietly balling and a new flood of tears coming down.

Fluttershy had asked Discord to watch over me. I think she asked partly for concern to my safety given my unstable state and partly to finally get some freedom from his constant guard now that Dalock was imprisoned in crystal up in some high security prison, if I were to be honest, but he did concede to it none the less. And so Discord came to my side from his hiding place and placed his paw and talon on me. As he did so, he shot the mare a solid glare.

Having her gaze in a mesmerized state, she stood there as Discord stared her down. But Plasma Wave stepped in and pushed him a few inches back from her—as far as he would put up with being pushed back. Turning to the lady, he added the tactful words Discord couldn't. "Young missy, you obviously do not understand what it means to serve. One's squadron is more than simply a co worker or a type of drinking buddy. It practically is family. They live, breathe, and serve together, relying on each other just to stay alive."

"He called me his brother," I whined out loud. It felt like a wound just stitched up and bandaged but not yet started to heal had busted open again, "His 'battle brother.' I was the only one he ever called that. He really was family and I never said it back to him. Not once. Not in earnest! And that bastard took him from me in cold blooded murder!"

At this point the mare backed down and the rest of the patrons didn't bother us again due to my balling.

* * *

I had finished letting the waterworks metaphorically flood the tavern and settled back into my makeshift seat to simply return to quiet brooding. If I said I felt better, that would have been a lie, but at least I was somber enough to start thinking and working through my feelings. I had to say start, because there was a big pile of feelings I was going to have to work through and it felt like even a month of working on it would be hard pressed to get me to a functional state again.

At some point about an hour after the incident with the mare, I heard a mare's voice fit for a songstress call out to me. "May I sit?"

Turning around, I searched for the source of the voice, but all I could see was Princess Luna in her thestral disguise and a well to do dress.

My heart beat rose a little, but I managed to quell it without my portent. Trying to be polite, I pressed on my amulet and called out to her in her disguise name.

"Moon Beam? What are you doing here?"

To this the mare smiled and called out in that same silk-smooth voice. "No, I'm not Moon Beam. Though I can see why you would think that. I'm Princess Luna's sole assigned personal dream walker, Guiding Star. And as you might have guessed by now, I was the thestral that gave permission to have the Moon Beam disguise be based on."

Looking at her, I did see subtle differences, like a human twin who might do their hair a different way or have a beauty mark on a different spot on their face.

A few seconds after letting the differences settle into my mind, I stopped and backtracked.

"Wait, sole assigned dream walker? Aren't thestrals and Princess Luna both nocturnal?"

She nodded and gave a cheerful rolling of her eyes. "Yes, we are. But there aren't always enough advanced non thestral dream walkers to go around for those that need to check in on other dream walkers. So I volunteered to go against my nocturnal nature and start sleeping at night. Princess Luna was also very hesitant to concede to guild surveillance when she came back. I think she picked me when she agreed later on because she felt a kinship to thestrals and I was the only one available for daytime surveillance. Tell me, did you ever find my twin brother snooping around in your dreams? He was so bad at not getting caught when we were in school. I swear him passing his advanced guild exam was a fluke."

I found having something else to talk about that even mildly intrigued me was so rare at this point that I found it to be a nice distraction. So I ignored the awkwardness of the info dump and pursued further.

"Advanced? Why do you have to have advanced dream walkers to watch other dream walkers?"

She looked sad for just a moment, but then brought the smile back to her fanged face. "Some of it is for ensuring we have the skill set needed should something go wrong, but most of the requirements that set the bar so high is for privacy reasons. You see, as dream walkers, we see other ponies' dreams and we can't guarantee personal information from those dreams won't bleed into our own. So those that watch other dream walkers have to have extra high training to not only protect the privacy of our charges, but also our charges' charges. With legalities abound, it is far more tricky than it might initially sound. I have had to dance around four technicalities just in the time I came in and started talking to you."

I sat there and absorbed her words for a minute, trying to think of something else I could ask, but was having a bit of trouble. While the silence built up, another patron came over and asked a question.

"Not to be too prudent, miss Guiding Star, but we were told you would be performing for us tonight? Me and the other guys were looking forward to hearing that beautiful voice of yours perform and we wanted to confirm you weren't just in here for a drink tonight before we got our hopes up too much."

Guiding Star looked over at the stallion and gave him a nod. "Don't you worry. I'll be singing for you tonight for certain. But I have to work out a few last minute details before I can decide on if the new song is ready or if it will be one of my classics."

At hearing this, the stallion positively perked up. Turning to his comrades, he called out, "Did you hear that, fellas? We might be getting a new song tonight! Let's give our lady all the space she needs until she's ready and hope for the best!"

As the stallion walked over to his buddies, I put two and two together and realized what she was over here for.

"New song? Last minute details? You don't mean what I think you mean, do you?"

She nodded in a pained, apologetic smile. "Sadly, probably yes. A lot of the things that Princess Luna saw in your mind bled over into her own dreams."

"No."

"But while she is still only bound by her old dream walker code from a thousand years ago, I am bound by modern codes."

"I said no."

Her ears went flat and I could see her do a very careful biting of her lip with the teeth between her fangs. She looked up and spoke in my ear nervously.

"She was also watching over Speaks with Talons during his time in Equestria and she grew close to him too. She hoped to have an adapted version sung to honor him. But while she could sing it without your permission, she decided she won't. Since I can't without your permission, she was brave enough to ask me to do it, knowing I sing at this tavern as a hobby."

As she pulled back, I shook my head and whispered a question.

"You aren't just Princess Luna's dream walker, guardian... thingy, are you? You two have grown to be friends. Why else would you risk breaking a rule just now talking to me about Luna treating Speaks with Talons? Princess Luna might have given you permission for her dreams, but given your sudden jitters, it's obvious you would need his too and there's no way he could have given it now that he's dead."

She gave me no reply. Instead, I saw her give me a near flat, not quite scared for herself but more worried about how the conversation will go down in general look, bravely waiting for an answer. As she did so, she again went to bite her lip and pressed the rest of her lips tight.

I shook my head again, looked up and out past the tavern door to see the sign just outside and the picture on it just below Archimedes's tiny talons. They wouldn't let what they thought was a wild animal into the tavern.

"Is that why Tempest brought me and the old crew to The Singing Star? Because of you?"

"That sign says 'The Crying Comet,' actually... And yes."

I looked over at Tempest, still apparently worried with something else, but also subtly sadder than normal.
"Can it be only once? Like you sing it once then that's it? You can't sing it after that unless I give permission again?"

She gave a relieved smile. "I'll have to clarify before I sing it, but yes."

In an uneasy, gravely growl of a whisper, I spoke slowly. "Just. This. Once. And be sure to also clarify it's in honor of Speaks with Talons or the deal's off... and I turn you in."

Guiding Star sighed and gave a closed eyed smile in relief. Turning to the small area where there was a karaoke machine, she nodded to her fans, who cheered. She then pulled out a sealed scroll tube from her saddlebag and broke it. Inside wasn't a traditional scroll, but a sheet of music with multiple symbols of instruments on it. Feeding it into the karaoke machine in the corner, she turned to the audience.

"Tonight's song is a special one, granted to us from the homeland of our tall guest, Moss. He is rather tight lipped about his homeland, and thus has only permitted me to do this song once, just for you all on the sole condition I sing it in honor of his late friend, Speaks with Talons. So while you're in for a treat, I can't give any encores for this performance. It's a one time only song just for tonight."

With a ding, the karaoke machine indicated it was ready.

Turning her head only slightly, she bowed to the audience. "And so, Fillies and Gentlecolts, I will now sing a special treat for you from foreign, far off shores. Drink responsibly and enjoy!"

She turned on the karaoke machine that she had just fed musical sheets into before she turned to the audience as it started slowly with a piano.

"Where have all the good braves gone and, where are all the guards? Where's the streetwise Rockhoof to fight the rising hoards?"

Tempest had to go over to one of the larger, bearded stallions that sat between the two groups and get him to sit down after he stood.

"Isn't there a great knight, holding fast to his fiery creed? I toss and I turn and dream of what I need..."

Author's Note:

For those that want a fuller picture of what happens next (and no, not just the song) I created a new story to cover those details, as Moss straight up isn't present and I feel the straight exposition covered in the next chapter may not do it justice. The link to the story now: But don't click if you don't want the extended horror.

Also, while this character absolutely is NOT canon to the MGiE series, I couldn't get the characters I've had on the covers so far to translate to colored well. It's been such a good tool, so I'm noting the site—that I already link to in my covers for the title as the source—have updated to allow coloring the models in similar form to painting and revamped their old tools. I got cool covers from them and felt I should mention.
Not sponsored, (never even purchased as of date of this chapter release...😖) just giddy about the update and sharing for any that had interest in how I did the title shots.