10084514 What I've been giving you is construcive criticism but you 1 throw insults at me 2 completely brush it off 3 have your head so far up your own ass the any time you open your mouth you gargle on your own shit 4 delete all of the Comments between me and you to save face
10084514 And you really want construcive criticism 1 your characters don't feel alive and instead they feel like puppets moveing from scene to scene 2 you don't write emotions on characters when you first enter canterlot were you scared no happy no confused no you remain neutral all the characters like this 3 it's glaring obvious that it's wish fulfilment like in chapter 3 celestia somehow ten cars that you just so happens that you own them and she just let's them go or with any of the firearms
Am I saying the this is a bad story no in fact it's good not a lot of spelling mistakes and it has potential but most of its problems rear it ugly head when something reality breaking stupid happens like with the Gustav Railway gun it's a glaring problem and it feels out of place
10084579 I never said there was one in the story, just trying to one up the Karl gerat in the comment section and I don’t like my story’s to be overly realistic. I like them to feel like I was actually there in Equestria where just about anything could happen. I like to add non realistic elements if you couldn’t already tell such as a pony driving a semi truck because I feel like it could be a decent part of the story when I go back and read it later on. I just like my story’s to be somewhat unrealistic but I do try to inject realism on there at times.
10200286 Personally I like this story it's fun and entertaining but there are SOME stuff that needs improving like adding more commas and quotation Marks but besides that it is a promising story. I hope you will continue to improve and continue this story
10286694 I’m planning on releasing the new chapters for both stories at the same time so it may be a while longer but in the mean time, small edits and additions have been made to the last chapter. See if you can find them all.
Oooh interesting story.Cant wait for more so keep it up
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-v4R2ZcxPlA
10084466
i only take constructive criticism you nerd.
10084514
What I've been giving you is construcive criticism but you
1 throw insults at me
2 completely brush it off
3 have your head so far up your own ass the any time you open your mouth you gargle on your own shit
4 delete all of the Comments between me and you to save face
10084514
And you really want construcive criticism
1 your characters don't feel alive and instead they feel like puppets moveing from scene to scene
2 you don't write emotions on characters when you first enter canterlot were you scared no happy no confused no you remain neutral all the characters like this
3 it's glaring obvious that it's wish fulfilment like in chapter 3 celestia somehow ten cars that you just so happens that you own them and she just let's them go or with any of the firearms
Am I saying the this is a bad story no in fact it's good not a lot of spelling mistakes and it has potential but most of its problems rear it ugly head when something reality breaking stupid happens like with the Gustav Railway gun it's a glaring problem and it feels out of place
10084579
I never said there was one in the story, just trying to one up the Karl gerat in the comment section and I don’t like my story’s to be overly realistic. I like them to feel like I was actually there in Equestria where just about anything could happen. I like to add non realistic elements if you couldn’t already tell such as a pony driving a semi truck because I feel like it could be a decent part of the story when I go back and read it later on. I just like my story’s to be somewhat unrealistic but I do try to inject realism on there at times.
Yeah you did I have screen shot of it can't figure out how show it since it from my files and not a url
10084628
I believe you have the wrong person
10084845
I was talking to you and I didn't click the reply to button
And did you not get it on the Xbox message
10084865
I don’t have any new messages on xbox
Holy Shit! There is a lot of drama in the comments section!
10199766
Wait until the next chapter comes out. I can guarantee that there will be more in the next chapter cause of what happens.
10200286
Personally I like this story it's fun and entertaining but there are SOME stuff that needs improving like adding more commas and quotation Marks but besides that it is a promising story. I hope you will continue to improve and continue this story
next chapter?
10286694
Soon. Very soon. Focusing on my other story right now
10286694
I’m planning on releasing the new chapters for both stories at the same time so it may be a while longer but in the mean time, small edits and additions have been made to the last chapter. See if you can find them all.
Wait, so there's a large expanse of land at the mansion but they still need to get fancy when turning around?
11324413
Well they said it’s her backyard only so they may have to go through a specific or narrow path to get to it.