• Published 7th Sep 2019
  • 978 Views, 29 Comments

22 Short Films About Fallout: Equestria - hahatimeforponies



An anthology of (mostly) Atom Smasher antics, in no particular order.

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The Midas Touch

"There's someone at the window."

"The window?"

Rainbow Code took a big breath in. "Yep. The window. There's... there's a few of them actually."

Ivy Bells squinted to Rainbow, then at me. I shrugged. "Do they... do they know the inn is open? They can just like... come inside?"

He took a moment to respond. "I don't think they're coming to stay."

I got up to take a look. Nevada jumped on my chair in my absence. Rainbow stepped aside, and let me look through the grotty net curtains. "A few, you say?" I turned around and he gave me a constipated grimace.

"What do they want?" Ivy said. She looked a little worried, but mostly confused. Rainbow shrugged. Nevada bapped the back of the chair with his tail as he wagged it.

I sighed, and turned to go to my room. "They're here for me. Lemme just... try and sort this out." This did not do much to enlighten Ivy, who looked at me slackjawed as I disappeared up the stairs. Nevada, I later discovered, polished off what was left of my eggs.

I opened the upstairs window of my room to take in a soggy morning in Warreington village. It was a charming little place, most of the settlement wedged between two canals for defensive purposes, and built upwards. Pleasing verticality for a duck like myself. I have to say, the place has really gotten nice while I've been away. Ground water still trickled, but the sky was clearing up. Have I mentioned that I really missed the rain? Like, constant off-and-on drizzle. Maybe it's the pegasus instinct to hang out in clouds.

Oh, also, about three dozen ponies gathered outside the inn cheered when I poked my head out.

"What do you want?" I yelled.

"We need you!" someone called back from the front of the crowd.

I frowned. "What for?"

"I lost my wedding ring in the woods the other day!" someone shouted.

"The canals up at St. Haylans have glowing goo in them!" another wailed.

"Enclave remnants have taken over the train interchange at Croup!" a third squealed.

I glanced around the crowd. I opened my mouth, then closed it again. "Is that it?"

"There's raiders up in-"

"Okay, I wasn't actually asking."

"But you... you did ask..." the previous petitioner said with a bit of a sulking kick of the floor.

I put my hoof on my forehead for a second. "You weren't waiting for me to fix all these problems, were you?"

Warreington town centre, for a painful moment, fell silent. "Maybe."

"Fuck's sake," I muttered. "Go away, I'm on me holidays. I don't live here anymore."

"But you're the Saint from the Stable!" Of course, it was a child on his dad's back. I glared at the dad. Kid had probably only heard stories, which is probably for the better.

"And I can't be in fifteen places at once. Like..." I sighed. What the fuck is my life. "Listen guys, I don't know what you're expecting from me. Y'know you can... investigate some of these problems yourselves, right? I'm not magic. You don't have to wait for some punk delinquent like me to show up to check out polluted rivers or whatever."

Silence.

"Okay, it's possible that I'll solve some of your problems incidentally while I'm here, b-" Uproarious cheering cut me off. Fucking hell. "But no promises, okay? On me holidays. Lower your expectations. The Rangers are right the hell over there, like, I can literally see their front door from this window."

"They kinda suck though," said the kid.

"They're also going to still be here a month from now. Now get out of here. I'm having me breakfast."

Silence, but more. I gestured wildly for them to move. Nothing. I sighed, and just went inside. A shower would drive them away sooner or later.

I stomped down the stairs and slumped back into my chair. Nevada, egg on his face, leapt off the chair, and then back into my lap, looking for pets. I smiled, and promptly shoved him off so I could get back to the table. At least he hadn't gotten into my juice.

"Is... everything okay?" Ivy said, behind the same mug of coffee with the same bewildered twist of her eyebrows.

"When I was younger, being famous was a real rush. Now it's just kind of exhausting. I can't go outside without people looking for miracles when I just want to like... hang out with my dog."

Rainbow frowned. "We wouldn't be here without your reputation, though."

"I guess, but I could do without the expectations."