9677407 ok, a way to improve your timing is to go slow, really tell about these things, like tell how Fluttershy reacted to seeing this creature in her living room, when Rarity was blacked out. Or like what Derpy did with those packages when she caused them to fall. Really explain things.
9679925 This chapter is largely focused on Rarity and Sweetie Belle's perspectives but you gave me an idea as the next chapter I've decided will be more focused on Fluttershy's perspective. I'll add it there.
9677407
ok, a way to improve your timing is to go slow, really tell about these things, like tell how Fluttershy reacted to seeing this creature in her living room, when Rarity was blacked out. Or like what Derpy did with those packages when she caused them to fall. Really explain things.
9679925
This chapter is largely focused on Rarity and Sweetie Belle's perspectives but you gave me an idea as the next chapter I've decided will be more focused on Fluttershy's perspective. I'll add it there.
9680114
glad I gave you the idea
9680118
This is why I like comments they help me with the story and sometimes they even become a part of it.
. . . I’m beginning to wonder if any of the main six are actually ponies.