- Member Since 31st Mar, 2017
- offline last seen Mar 10th, 2021
HeartfireFirebrand
A leaner of SFM who writes ocassionally
HeartfireFirebrand
Joined 31st Mar, 2017 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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HeartfireFirebrand · 10k words · 986 views
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- HeartfireFirebrand · 10k words · 986 views
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yes i like this, but it's going a little fast.
9676061
That tends be a problem I have but this is fairly slow going for me. You see some of my other stories, I'm trying to go slow as I can.
9677407
ok, a way to improve your timing is to go slow, really tell about these things, like tell how Fluttershy reacted to seeing this creature in her living room, when Rarity was blacked out. Or like what Derpy did with those packages when she caused them to fall. Really explain things.
9679925
This chapter is largely focused on Rarity and Sweetie Belle's perspectives but you gave me an idea as the next chapter I've decided will be more focused on Fluttershy's perspective. I'll add it there.
9680114
glad I gave you the idea
9680118
This is why I like comments they help me with the story and sometimes they even become a part of it.
Sweetie
9680874
Thank for the comment, I didn't even notice. Fixed it now.
9680877
Welcome
9680908
Are you enjoying the story so far?
9680913
It's okay
9680918
I wanted to try something different and the thought of having a spider like species hunting Changelings made sense.
9680932
Its not that (love that actually since I have my own species that hunt them) it's the exicusion you need a editor
9680932
It could also use longer chapters because in chapter 2 scoots and applebloom don't even react to her spider form or her immense size which makes the size change irrelevant.
9680950
Scootaloo's reason for not reacting to much will be explained in a future story as for Apple Bloom she's not the type to freak out but if you read closely she was uneasy about it, she reactedmore strongly to Rarity because they were attacked by changelings.
9680956
The fact that she didn't react to sweetie belle eating changelings is another thing. Not to mention that sweetie herself is acting like nothing is wrong, no freak outs no what are my friends gonna think or I'm I gonna have to leave equestria.
9680956
I'm sorry if I'm sounding like I'm trying to be mean I'm just pointing out plot points that probably should be addressed like how sweetie belle has such fine web control despite just finding out she's a spider.
9680963
Sweetie Belle is having faith in her friends as for Scootaloo anymore would be spoilers. Apple Bloom's part may need some work though.
9680975
The whole thing could use some work in all honesty as it is super rushed
9680977
that's exactly what i said
Jumped into the last chapter blind: What. The. Hell.
nice work on all chapters.
Now I’m wondering if Rarity and Sweetie are the only changelings living in Ponyville.
Guess I’ll keep reading and see. Onward!
Measuring size by “Celestia’s” . . . I like it. XD
And now Silver Spoon is a monster hunter? . . . Eh, why not. XD
Makes me wonder what other oddities Ponyville might have just wandering around it’s streets.
. . . I’m beginning to wonder if any of the main six are actually ponies.