Tales of Flutterbreeze: Hometown Blues

by Flutterbreeze

Naughty and Nice

Flutterbreeze awoke at the sound of a loud “thunk” at his balcony door. ‘Must be another bird.’ He walked to his living room and saw hovering above the balcony a grey, blond-haired pegasus. She had crossed eyes and was rubbing her head (where she apparently come into contact with the clear door) but didn’t seem too shaken by the impact.

She held out a scroll as he opened the door. “Letter from Ponyville for you!”

“Thanks, um... don’t I know you?”

“Well, we’re both mailponies, right? My name’s Ditsy Doo, though everypony calls me Derpy.”

“I see... My name is Flutterbreeze.”

As he unrolled the letter she moved around to peer over his shoulder. He could detect the scent of muffins.

“Oooh, a secret message from Pinkie Pie.” She winked and stuck her tongue out slightly.

‘Oh brother.’ He rolled his eyes. “Yes, a secret message... I will go read it secretly now, alone. By myself. Thank you.”

He closed the door behind him, and after a moment she flew off in a random direction. Sitting down at his desk he read the letter, which contained a short message and a list of the names of ponies that had attended his “Welcome to Ponyville” party. He was pleasantly surprised at how quickly the response came.

‘First name: Flutterbreeze. Well that goes without saying.’ He crossed off his own name from the list. ‘Pinkie Pie. Again, rather obvious. I think it’s safe to assume that she’s not the traitor after giving me the list. Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy...’ He felt a fuzzy feeling in his stomach.

‘I’m fairly certain none of them are agents, so I can cross their names off. Applebloom... secret agent, but not a traitor. Lots and lots of ponies I don’t know... and then Derpy Hooves. I think I can cross her name off as well.’

He looked at the list again, which had over a dozen names left on it. ‘Multiple choice: which pony is a secret agent AND a traitor? The correct answer is the name you’ve never heard of before, as always. Still, this narrows it down quite a bit...’

Flutterbreeze decided to have some lunch, finding himself unable to narrow the list down any further. He went to a nearby diner, hoping for a sandwich of some sort. A sign just inside the door said “Please seat yourself”.

He looked around the restaurant. A whole third of the diner was empty, while on the opposite side all the tables were full. Then he spotted why: sitting in the corner of the room by himself was... someone he would never have expected to see.

He had a long, green, feathered form, red wings, shoulder plumage in the shape of epaulets, fangs coming from a snake-like face, and a long black moustache. Flutterbreeze recognised him as the captain of Xolotl’s reptilian strike force.

He slowly walked over towards the booth he sat in. The feathered serpent noticed him approach, but instead of having a surprised or malicious look of some kind, he simply smiled at him like an old acquaintance would.

Flutterbreeze was the first to speak. “Well, of all the... people to run into today, I must say you are about the last one I would have expected.”

“I too, could not have predicted such a meeting.” he responded in an accent similar to the ponies of Maredrid, as far as Flutterbreeze could tell. “Please, join me.” He motioned to the empty side of the curved booth, where Flutterbreeze then sat down.

“Before anything else happens,” the serpent continued, “I must know your name.”

The pegasus was already confused by the actions of the one who just a few days prior crossed swords with him, even though he did fight in an honorable manner. ‘It could be some sort of trick, but since the traitor would have found my name out already...

“Flutterbreeze is my name, but what is yours?”

“I yam Caspian Morales, former capitan of the underworld guard.”

“Former?”

“Yes indeed! I had long wished to end my service to the dishonorable rapstallion who calls himself lord of the underworld. However, it was not until you showed up that I saw any window of opportunity. After all, one does not simply walk out of the underworld. But then, with the dog monster put into hiding I thought, ‘Meh, why not move to Equestria?’ And so, here I yam.”

“That’s quite the story. But, aren’t you going to order any food, or were you just planning on sitting here all day?”

“Well, I yave been waiting for the camarera quite some time now, but apparently they are very busy this day.” He shrugged.

“Why don’t I go talk to them...” As the pegasus went and asked a waitress for service, Caspian sat playing with his moustache. As Flutterbreeze sat back down he said, “Now maybe we will receive some reasonable attention. So, what about the other members of your little... brigade?”

“Well, my friend. Sometimes a flying snake must choose his own twisted path. Some, such as me, have chosen to leave the world of darkness behind, but sadly, most of the others have stayed loyal to the creepy canine thing. The rest of those who left are now taking Equestrian language courses. As for myself I self-taught the language using television. The only Equestrian station you can pick up down there is the Foaledo public broadcast, interestingly enough.”

‘That explains the accent.’

An intimidated waitress approached them. “C-can I take your... order?”

“You may!” Caspian said enthusiastically. The waitress looked like she was about to run, but a scolding look from Flutterbreeze kept her in place. “I would like a bowl of your finest gazpacho, and a glass of hot cho-co-la-tay.”

“Same for me, please.”

As the waitress hurried off to the kitchen Flutterbreeze resumed the conversation.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where Xolotl has gone, would you?”

“The whereabouts of the coward are a mystery to me as well.” he shrugged. “But, I do believe I know something can help you. You see, he mentioned having an inside source a while back. He says to me, ‘This pony is a great source of information’, he says. He says, ‘such a mundane sort of pony would never be suspected of treachery’ he says. So I says, ‘what makes you so sure?’ He does his maniacal laugh, you know, and then he says, ‘the fools wouldn’t even notice him if he were gone. Unless the sun was particularly hot that day, but I’ll make sure that wont happen.’ Then he does his little laugh again and that’s all I know about it.”

“Thank you for telling me this. I will have to remember these words.” They sat silently for a few moments until Caspian spoke again.

“By the way, I was hoping that I could duel you again sometime. I am ashamed at how I failed the last time we saw each other.”

“Surely, were it not for your love of Equestrian films you would have defeated me.” they chuckled a bit, recalling the scene in their minds as the waitress returned with the drinks.

Caspian raised his glass high and said, “To the brave and valiant warriors of Equestria!”

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[UselessRambling]

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