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Chapter One: Russian Roulette2,978 words
Chapter Two: Failing Action2,387 words
Chapter Three: An Un-fur-tunate Cat-astrophe1,952 words
Chapter Four: In Sickness and In Health2,367 words
Chapter Five: Unearthing Insecurities2,245 words
Chapter Six: Lunch and a Movie2,258 words
Chapter Seven: Siblings Are Embarrassing2,106 words

Chapter One: Russian Roulette

My Date With Ms. Harshwhinny

CrazyChickenLady

Chapter One: Russian Roulette

The royal city of Canterlot stood proud upon its pedestal that was Mount. Canterhorn, its beauty amplified by the sun’s golden rays. Pristine and unmarred, it made a picture perfect scene for a fairy tale painting. Its upper-crust residents carried themselves with dignity and poise, garbed in the most lavish fashion brands that advertised their social status. One denizen, housed on the outskirts and outside of the circle of the ritzy homes, emerged from his modestly-sized ivory spire. He wore nothing but a saddlebag upon his back, spiral binding belonging to a sketchbook holding up the flap and preventing the bag from completely closing. He was a unicorn stallion at twenty-three years of age. Despite his age, his flank bore no cutie mark. He possessed a somewhat lanky build, masculine muzzle protruding from a rounded head. His pelt was a bold shade of azure, five navy blue freckles dotted on his cheeks. His cyan mane and tail were a stark contrast to his coat, forelock mostly folded over to the right like a curled wave.

He pushed the front door shut with a hind hoof, his burgundy eyes alight with a cheerful twinkle. Forgoing dignity and poise, the young stallion broke into a lively trot. Humming a jazzy tune, he ventured into the city’s heart. A crowd congregated between a row of shops and restaurants attained his attention and disrupted his ditty. Slowing his gait to a walk, he approached the crowd with intentions on satiating his curiosity.

The unicorn squeezed between ponies to find a middle-aged unicorn stallion with a coat of brown and a salt and pepper mane and tail. He donned a sharp white collared shirt beneath a red and yellow plaid vest and a pair of thick-rimmed glasses. Emblazoned upon his flank was a bow and arrow that wouldn’t be out of place in Cupid’s arsenal. A roulette table with a stack of forms splayed out on the side separated the stallions as the younger unicorn closed the distance.

“What’s your name, son?” the elder unicorn inquired, a warm smile spreading across his face.

“Comet Burst, sir!” the young stallion enthusiastically replied, surveying the contents on the table. “What’s all this?”

“I call it ‘Love Roulette’! Drop in the marble, give ‘er a spin, see what date you will win!” came the older stallion’s reply. “Care to give it a shot?”

Comet Burst was intrigued. “So…this is like a blind dating game? I get a date no matter what number I land on?”

“Precisely!” Horn glowing, he enveloped a silver marble in his magic and held it out to Comet Burst enticingly. “Nopony goes home empty-hooved.”

“Count me in!” Comet Burst extended his hoof to accept the marble. Dropping it into the wheel, he promptly gave it a whirl. He wouldn’t admit it to this friendly stranger, but he had yet to experience his first date. During his high school years, mares fled from him, repelled by his eccentric personality and nerdy aura. A date without the hassle of working up the nerves to ask out a mare sounded like a win to him. “Come on, Lady Luck, Comet needs a good one.”

Comet Burst’s eyes followed the marble, muscles tensing up in anticipation. Tension intensified as the wheel gradually slowed. He dropped to his haunches, forehooves gripping the edge of the table. After what felt like an eternity, the wheel ceased all movement, the marble settling upon a number and sealing his fate.

“Number seven!” he cried, throwing his hooves into the air. “Lucky number seven!”

The older stallion’s smile faded, the result giving him no reason to share Comet Burst’s exuberance. Muttering something along the lines of “Poor boy” under his breath, he proceeded to announce the result. “Number seven! Will number seven please step forward?”

Jumping to his hooves, Comet Burst whirled around to meet the mare chance had chosen for him. Ponies parted to make way for her. Upon getting a good look at her, all traces of his usual cheer melted away. While he had never personally met her, he was well aware of her reputation. An earth brown mare with a mane and tail of gold and a sharp purple business suit locked her icy blue oculars with his, her stoic expression inspiring nervousness within him.

She looked him over, displeased with her match. Of all the available stallions in Canterlot, she got paired with this colt-ish looking stallion. Her scowl only tightened when he offered her a nervous grin.

Silence was exchanged between them as Comet Burst wracked his brain for something to interrupt the awkward stillness. Unable to procure a proper greeting, he said the first thing that popped into his head.

“Aw, fuzzy umbrella-carrying kangaroos.”

Comet Burst felt unprepared to be gallivanting with a mare of Ms. Harshwhinny’s caliber. His hopes had been on a sweet mare who would smile for him at simple kind gestures and laugh at his jokes. Ms. Harshwhinny didn’t fit his ideal mare at all!

Slumped against the front door, he lifted his forehooves to his temples to apply a calming massage.

“Okay…I can do this. It’s just the one date. How bad can it be?”

The merry chime of the doorbell had never sounded so dismal. Rotating on his rear, he fumbled with the doorknob. Pushing the door open, his balance slipped away from him and he toppled over onto his side at Ms. Harshwhinny’s hooves. Peering up at her, he noticed the business suit had been replaced by a simple crimson dress.

“Hey. Ready to go?”

The same scowl he had been acquainted with was still embedded in her visage. She quirked her brow and stepped back. His forelock was a sliver away from touching her hooves. “You didn’t bother to dress for the occasion?”

Bewilderment stole over the stallion’s features. A few seconds into the date and he already messed up. “Isn’t the first date supposed to be a casual thing or something? I think?”

The mare rolled her eyes in response. In the process, she caught a glimpse of the interior of his home. On the floor a sketchbook, papers, and pencils were carelessly splayed across the hardwood surface. “Is your house always a mess?”

“Uhhh,” was the only answer Comet Burst was able to conceive. Scrambling to his hooves, he slammed the door shut.

“Disregarding your appearance and leaving your home in such a state of disarray is no way to impress a lady,” she scolded him.

Comet retained a calm composure despite the castigation. “Yeah, uh, so, shall we get going? There’s a pretty nice place close by.”

“If we must,” she sighed, permitting him to escort her.

Mere minutes passed them by before Comet Burst completely disregarded Ms. Harshwhinny’s earlier criticism. A carefree smile found its way to his face. The mare found it odd this young stallion appeared to be so cheerful after a scolding. Even when he turned a grin to her, she chose not call attention to it. As the stallion’s chosen restaurant came into view, he trotted ahead, eagerly grabbing at the door handle. Pushing it open, he held it firmly in place in hopes of receiving some form of appreciation for his gesture.

“After you, ma’am,” he said, dipping his head in a bow.

Ms. Harshwhinny eyed the unicorn as she passed him with the same cold expression. She wasn’t impressed with his choice, but at least he was polite. The dimly lit bistro wasn’t fancy, but nor was it a cheap establishment. She surmised that she could have been taken somewhere worse.

“It’s not anything fancy, but I ain’t one of those rich, upper-class ponies,” Comet Burst stated as he joined her side.

“I already had an inkling you weren’t.” The mare scanned their surroundings. The mood was calming, almost soothing. “I suppose this is…acceptable.”

“At least I’m not a total disappointment,” he quipped, hoping a little light-hearted humor would help her relax.

“We shall see.”

The host returned to his post after seating a couple. The light gray unicorn stallion, perpetual boredom frozen upon his face, levitated a pair of menus from the neatly stacked pile beneath the stand. Led to a table, Comet Burst pulled out one of the chairs for Ms. Harshwhinny to take a seat. Sapphire oculars swiveling his way, she acknowledged him with a curt nod.

“Vould you care to see ze vine list?” the waiter monotonously inquired as Comet Burst took his seat across from Ms. Harshwhinny.

“Uh, maybe.” Comet Burst shifted his attention to his date. “Do ya want any wine?”

“I suppose a glass of Marescato would be lovely,” the mare affirmed.

“The whole bottle, please,” Comet Burst requested of the waiter. “In case she wants more than one glass.”

“Very good, sir.”

Watching their waiter leave them, the young stallion turned an awkward smile to Ms. Harshwhinny. Nervousness he experienced before meeting her at his doorstep finding him again, he leaned inward and planted his forelegs on the table. He twiddled his hooves, scouring his brain for an icebreaker. “Sooo…Big boss of the Equestria Games, eh? That’s a pretty big deal.”

“Quite so,” she responded, brows knitting. “Would you sit up straight? And keep your elbows off the table.”

Comet Burst shot upright, befuddled by the sudden snap. It was then he decided that he was going to help himself to some of that wine. The arrival of the waiter managed to alleviate a small fraction of tensity. The gray unicorn set two wine glasses down between the pair. His expression changed for the first time, contorting to convey his struggle as he attempted to yank the cork from the bottle. Concentrating the extent of his magical strength on the cork, he gave one last pull. The cork came out with an audible POP and flew out of the stallion’s magical grasp. Ricocheting off an ornate vase, it sailed into the direction of the kitchen the instant a unicorn chef emerged.

“Seven banana cream pies!” he announced, said pies floating in his telekinetic hold. Cork bouncing off his horn, he stumbled forth, the break in concentration causing him to drop the pies.

The cork’s rampage continued; it knocked over fell a couple’s champagne, severed the chain holding up a glass chandelier, upturned trays of food, and finally ended its journey when it nailed Comet Burst between the eyes. The young stallion cried out, slapping his hooves to the inflicted area.

Disregarding the pandemonium taking place all around, Ms. Harshwhinny’s hardened expression softened somewhat to convey concern. “Are you all right, Mr. Burst?”

“Yeah…I’m okay.” He expelled a long sigh, rubbing his face. “Man, almost got a new hole in my head.”

“Terribly sorry, sir,” the waiter apologized, his countenance returning to its usual bored state.

“Nah, nah.” Comet Burst waved him off, scrunching up his face as he removed his remaining hoof. “It’s okay. Was an accident.”

The waiter said nothing further. Filling their glasses, he left the bottle with them to tend to another table. Ms. Harshwhinny took a savory sip, her earlier concern for the stallion across from her no longer present.

“I hope future dates aren’t this crazy. But I probably just jinxed myself.” Comet forced out a chuckle in an attempt to lighten up the mood. “I take it you don’t go to places that get this nuts often?”

“Certainly not. My restaurant experiences are typically pleasant,” Ms. Harshwhinny stated, her dour mask returning.

Comet Burst reached for his glass, downing half of its contents in a few gulps.

Ms. Harshwhinny jabbed her fork into the crisp romaine lettuce, the resulting crunch promising freshness. While her date had yet to impress her, the food at least appeared delectable. She glanced across the table at Comet Burst. She found it odd the unicorn opted to utilize his hooves rather than magic, but she wasn’t bothered by that. It was his eating habits that inspired mild disgust. His cheeks protruded from his face as he stuffed a sizable forkful of Alfredo penne into his mouth.

“Slow down and don’t take such large bites! You are not an animal!”

Comet Burst’s ears fell back, her consistent nagging grating his generous patience. Swallowing, he exhaled on a sigh and set his fork aside. Planting his hooves on the table, he rose from his seat.

“Okay, you know what?” he began, his tonality making a drastic change. His brows furrowed against his burgundy eyes as they locked with the mare’s, displaying his annoyance. “I’ve had enough of your attitude, ma’am! There are plenty of mares out there who’d like me just the way I am and…and if you don’t like the way I do things or how I act, then…then it’s you who isn’t good enough for me!”

Ms. Harshwhinny dropped her fork, absolutely thunderstruck. It wasn’t often another individual lashed back at her. At the moment, she couldn’t even recall anyone doing so. Yet, this young stallion managed to summon the gall to tell her off.

She was actually…impressed.

An awkward stillness descended upon them, the mare’s widened eyes observing him as he settled himself back in his seat.

“Yeah…So there,” he continued in a much calmer intonation. “I may be eccentric and have a baby face, but at least I know how to treat ponies with respect.”

Ms. Harshwhinny dropped her gaze to her salad, her mind reeling. She and Comet Burst continued their meal in peaceful silence. It wasn’t until she was halfway finished with her meal that she responded to his tirade. “Mr. Burst…I apologize. You have done nothing to deserve such denunciation…My behavior has been rude and most unbefitting of a lady.”

She honestly didn’t expect him to accept her apology. In her experience, bitterness was the typical reaction to the behavior she displayed. The subsequent smile that spread across his face put her off guard.

“Comet. Just call me Comet.” The stallion didn’t anticipate an apology, and receiving one already put him in a better mood. The waiter stole his attention for the final time as he was presented with the bill. Placing his hoof on one end of the strip of paper, a earth brown hoof appeared on the other end. “I got this.”

Ms. Harshwhinny shook her head. “I insist. You have done enough.”

“Really, I don’t mind. I was the one who rolled for a date.” Comet Burst gave pause, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. “Don’t make me fight you.”

The mare’s irritated scowl found her again, accompanied by bemusement over Comet Burst’s rather odd jape. She didn’t relent her hold on the bill, making it apparent that she wouldn’t back down. Caving in, Comet Burst removed his hoof.

“Okay. You’d kick my butt, anyway. I should pay for something.” The stallion’s eyes lit up. “And I think I know what.”

Ms. Harshwhinny frowned. What ever it was this strange, young stallion was up to, she was certain she would want no part of it. Still, the evening was young and she had nothing better to do than spend it at home in solitude. She might as well endure the activity his mind concocted.

“The artist really captured the desire for love, trapped in crippling loneliness and isolation under a torrent of despair,” Comet Burst relayed, enraptured by the oil painting displayed before him and Ms. Harshwhinny. “Or it could just be a painting of a sad kitten in a box under the pouring rain.”

Fine art was something Ms. Harshwhinny never expected Comet Burst to have any interest in. Yet, he energetically pranced about with childish glee. She had to admit to herself a trip to the art gallery was a good idea. There was something about the collection of works passionately crafted by talented hooves that tranquilized her soul. The corners of her lips curled into a small smile, visibly relaxing as she found enjoyment in the various forms of artwork.

They managed to traverse through the entire art gallery without any further catastrophes. Comet Burst questioned the seemingly ordinary soup can displayed on a marble pedestal. Ms. Harshwhinny balked at the sheer absurdity, and the feeling of obfuscation remained with her until they exited the building.

“It’s getting pretty late,” Comet Burst spoke up, wide grin stretching over his muzzle. “How about I walk ya home?

“I suppose you may,” the mare sighed. She glanced over at him briefly. The stallion trotted at her side directing his attention to the darkened heavens.

“We didn’t really get a chance to get to know anything about each other. Aside from what little we already know.” The stallion flashed her a grin befitting an idiot. “So…Wanna give it another shot? Who knows? We might be able to find some common ground, despite how different we are.”

Ms. Harshwhinny’s features became creased by a frown. He was a nice stallion, but she honestly wasn’t interested in him. His eccentric personality and childish energy put her off. With how she treated him, she surmised he deserved a second date. “One more date, and that’s it.”

“Cool. Why don’t ya pick what we do since dinner and the art museum was my idea?” the unicorn suggested.

She gave pause. There was one event that popped into her mind, but she doubt Comet Burst had the attention span to sit through it. “Next Saturday Farbe der Liebe will be premiering at the Canterlot Theater. The premise seems promising.”

“A play, huh? Sure! I think I’d like that.” Comet Burst couldn’t even remember the last time he watched a play. “Canterlot Theater next Saturday it is!”

Ms. Harshwhinny exhumed another sigh, hoping that the play would bore the stallion and deter him from asking her out on future dates. One more date, she mentally mused, and she would be rid of him.

Author's Note:

It began as a random thought that amused me and was originally meant to be a one-shot. But more ideas and scenes spawned that I didn't want to go unwritten. Pretty soon, I had a basic outline for an entire fanfiction. I actually don't have the entire story planned out, but I'm sure I'll get there as I write this thang out.

Thanks for checking it out! <3

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