"I'm going to meet somepony from Quarrel," Midnight said to himself, getting some drinks from the grocery store, "Hopefully, they won't see me as a monster, just because I'm a vampony."
After he took a few bottles of soda, he began to make his way to the coffee and get some Mocca Fix when he ran into somepony, both falling down and him losing his glasses.
"For Luna's sake, watch where you're going!"
"Midnight?" a familiar voice said to him as he put his glasses on.
In front of him was a blue stallion with a blue mane with a silver streak.
And Midnight's crimson eyes, fangs, and bat wings were out in the open.
"Sorry," Midnight said, looking away, "I guess now that you've seen me, I guess you'll want to run like everypony else."
"What? No."
"Just go. I drink ponies, that's all I'm good for."
"That's not true and you know it."
"Explain that to the blood on my coat and clothes."
"So? I've known you for several months."
"Yeah. Except the part about me being a bloodsucking murder machine that kills other ponies just to live."
"You're not a murderer."
"Just run," Midnight said, turning around, "I don't want to hurt you."
"I don't care."
"No. I want you to be safe from a monster like me."
"Midnight-"
"Just face it," Midnight said, sitting down on the floor, "The only reason you're friends with me is because of the fact that I digitally removed my fangs and changed my eyes from red to midnight in the picture."
"No, that has nothing to do with it."
"Go before I start killing."
"I'm sure Lotus wouldn't be scared of you either."
"Just admit that you're scared and run."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not."
"Please tell me how and why you're not scared of me," Midnight said, now getting up.
"Because you're a cool pony. I like talking to you and doing things with you. Plus, everything you know about those weird cars and all of those countries and their history, it's like yo-"
"I was there," Midnight quietly said as he looked down.
"What?"
"The wars, the genocides, the brainwashing," he balled his fists and gritted his teeth as he tried to hold back his tears, "I was there for it all. I've seen countries be formed and dissolved... languages born and died, their texts locked away from even time itself. I've seen the Griffons, the Yaks, the Dragons, Hippogriffs , and Kirin, all of it. I was there, but I couldn't help. I've seen kingdoms rise and fall. So don't say ⟨It's like you were there⟩, because I was there. Every time you or anypony else asks me about times bygone like that, it hurts to remember. But I do it for you guys, Speedy," he relaxed and took a few breaths, "I wish I could tell the others."
Speedy was left speechless.
"If you're going to stay, ask what the tartarus you want. I don't care, just as long as I don't have to physically relive it."
Speedy was still stunned.
"Well?"
"Any interesting stories about racing?" he finally asked after a few minutes.
"When?"
"Well... you seem to know so much about the Poniets, so did they do any racing with the Kirin?"
"I carteled thousands, millions even, over the Poniet-Kirin border, just so they could race and be with their friends and families."
"What were the races like?" Speedy asked, desperate to change the mood.
"Essentially the same as today, though the Poniet cars were under-powered with wooden frames and cloth body panels. They were poorly built, left huge plumes of smoke everywhere, and never topped 80 miles per hour. The fastest I would usually see was 65 miles per hour from a model called ⟨Maluch⟩. They were tiny, two-stroke, rear-engine, rear-wheel drive, twin-engined hatchbacks with a terrible acceleration. It took them 47 seconds to make it to 60 miles per hour. Still, there was laughing and fun. I even took a few Kirin east into the Poniet Union."
"Whoa."
"Yeah. I've seen some crazy things."
"Like what?"
"Experiments. Some of the tamer ones gave ponies extra hands, arms, fingers, legs, hooves, tails, or other things. Some didn't seem to mind it, but the scientists who tried to experiment on me died slow, painful deaths," he said, taking a sharp breath, "They wanted to make an artificial unicorn, so I threw them in a gas chamber and let it run on a low setting."
"...Ouch..."
"I tried to help ponies escape, but they would have rather died on an operating table than to escape with my help."
Midnight finally looked back up to see that his closest friend was still standing there, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, almost as if he wanted to hear more, but was too disgusted and shocked to ask.
"Well, it felt good being able to tell somepony."
Speedy tried to say something, but the words just didn't come out.
"And that's just the tame part."
"I... Why wouldn't they want your help?"
"Simple," Midnight replied, "I'm a vampony."
"Yet that didn't stop me from staying and talking to you in pony."
"Because you're an idiot."
"What?"
"Do you even know how much danger you're in right now!?" Midnight said, "I could drink all of your blood and literally eat your dead corpse!"
"Well you're my friend, so I'm staying here."
"You're willing to take the risk of me violently killing you?"
"Yes. You're not a monster because you're a vampony, you're my friend because I like you."
"Well, you're willing to stay."
"Hey, Lotus came to Hooflyn too. She should be at a convention tomorrow. I'm here for a four-day racing thing, and I couldn't get a hotel. Could I stay with you?"
"Sure. Just... don't go poking around through my things. I don't want you to get super unnerved."
"Well, if you're worried about Lotus, I can message her if she can meet us later."
"You'll be there?"
"Yeah."
"Thanks."
When the two finished at the grocery store, Midnight led Speedy to his house.
Noticed this story by chance while browsing the site and, deeming it fairly short, I decided to take a look. And I'll be brutally honest with you, this story needs a lot of work. It's not that the grammar or spelling would be that bad--as is a rather normal occurence--in fact, these are quite solid. No, sadly the issues are far more substantial. Honestly, reading this whole thing felt as if I was overhearing a random conversation on a bus. I heard all of it, but didn't understand a thing. The first, rather exposition-y sentence tells us that our main character is an ancient vampony, he meets somepony else and then the two suddenly start talking about, well, all sorts of unrelated stuff, it seems. I'm sure it all makes sense to you, but remember that the readers can't see into your head. All the audience sees is a bunch of lines of dialogue without any atmosphere. They don't know where is the talk taking place, how do the characters behave, what kind of background Midnight and Speedy share with each other, and, mainly, there is nothing to get the readers invested in the story, nothing to make them care and want to read on.
I'm sorry that the first comment on your story has to be such a negative one, but I felt I could help at least a little bit rather than blatantly sugarcoat this. So, let me know if any further explanation is required. Also, should the Soviet Union be brought into light later again, I'm curious about your ponified version of it!
9672506
This story is actually the result of some depression I'm dealing with.
9672572
Oh, I see and I'm sorry to hear that. I know I'm a stranger, but should you want to talk about anything, feel free to let me know and I'll try to help in any way I can. I have a basic training in psychology.
9672585
Okay.
9672585
Thanks for offering help.
9737526
You’re welcome :)