Ash vs. Equestria: School Blaze

by CTVulpin

Ash vs. the EEA

Chancellor Neighsay was sitting at his desk, working his way through a stack of paperwork, when he heard a knock at his office door. Frowning, he looked up at the clock on his wall and, noting the time, pushed the papers aside with a sigh, assumed a dignified posture, and said, “Enter.”

The door was opened by a confident hoof, and Ashen Blaze marched into the office, wearing his tweed vest and a business-like expression that wavered only slightly when he saw that Neighsay was the only pony in the room. He glanced back briefly through the doorway, then continued to approach the desk. “Chancellor Neighsay,” he said with the smallest of nods. “I don’t think I’m early.”

“You aren’t, Ashen Blaze,” Neighsay said. “You’re precisely on time. Do shut the door, please.”

Ash stopped, halfway across the room, and frowned. “I assumed that with a name like ‘Equestrian Education Association’ there’d be more than one pony involved.”

“There are many more ponies on the EEA board,” Neighsay said, “but I did not think it was necessary to gather them for this. The only reason I have deigned to meet with you is because you had the courtesy to request a meeting through the proper channels. Given that, it’s only polite that I tell you to your face that you’ve wasted your time. The EEA has already rendered its decision regarding Princess Twilight’s school.”

“You decided,” Ash retorted, closing the remaining distance between him and the desk with heavy steps. “You unilaterally judged the school unfit, and you expect us to just roll over and accept that?”

Neighsay sat up a little taller, stoically glaring at the other unicorn. “As the designated inspector, I acted with the full authority of the EEA,” he said. “And once I returned to Canterlot,” he continued before Ash could form a response, “I gave a full report to the board and they voted to uphold my decision.”

“By how much?” Ash asked.

“By enough,” Neighsay replied with finality.

Ash snorted and turned away from the desk. “Gave your version of events,” he said, marching to the door, “and pushed them to act right away.” He placed a hoof against the door and lowered his head. “Leaving no chance for appeals or counter-argument.” He slammed the door shut and whirled to face the Chancellor. “Is that how things work?” he asked fiercely. “If everything isn’t just how you like it, then tough luck! No more school.”

Neighsay’s eyes narrowed. “Princess Twilight was perfectly aware of the standards the EEA-”

“I wasn’t talking about the EEA’s standards,” Ash cut in, stomping back to the desk. “I meant you, Chancellor. It was your unbending insistence that everything be a certain way that got us here.”

A thick silence hung over he office as the two ponies stared each other down for a few seconds. Finally, Chancellor Neighsay leaned forward and broke the silence with a statement. “I had quite a difficult time trying to find information on you, Ashen Blaze,” he said. “Outside of some honors bestowed by Princess Celestia, you don’t seem to have many official records. No known birthplace, no school records...”

Ash rolled his eyes. “You’re looking in all the wrong places if you want to know who I am,” he said. “And this isn’t about me anyway. Don’t try to change the subject.”

“I wasn’t finished,” Neighsay said. Ash huffed and gestured for Neighsay to get on with it. “What I have managed to learn about you,” the Chancellor said, “leads me to believe you’re a pony of a military disposition. That little group of yours is called the Order-naries, correct?” Ash nodded. “Then, I can only wonder,” Neighsay continued, “how you could be willing to take part in some project that would bring disruptive elements into this orderly land.”

Ash blinked and tilted his head slightly. “You’re talking about the non-pony students, aren’t you?” he asked.

“Of course,” Neighsay snapped.

Ash sighed and shook his head, putting a hoof to his temple. “Ok,” he said, “first, there’s a big difference between ‘Order’ and obsessively holding to the status quo. Second, if you think Twilight didn’t consider every little detail of this ‘project’ before proceeding, you don’t know Twilight. She only extended invitations for enrollment to races that Equestria is on good terms with at the moment.”

“Good terms,” Neighsay drawled. “What of those brutish Yaks? They declare war on others at the slightest provocation.”

“Yaks take extreme pride in their culture and have little use for mincing words,” Ash countered. “They may be quick to threaten war, but they withdraw those threats just as quickly once they’re sure they’re being treated with respect. It’s a blunt way of doing things, but it certainly keeps negotiations from coming to a crawl.”

“Hm,” Neighsay said, unimpressed. “What can you say about dragons, then?” he asked. “They have a long history of terrorizing pony settlements, stealing our valuables, and threatening our weather systems with their smoky snores.”

Ash shrugged. “Can’t change the past,” he admitted, “but the dragons have a new leader who is dead-set on changing Dragon culture to be less… nasty by default. It’s going to be a long road, but sending a young dragon to Twilight’s school was a major step forward.”

“A foalish dream,” Neighsay scoffed. “There was a Hippogriff among your students, and they have only just been discovered. How can we trust their intentions when we barely know anything about them?”

Ash smirked and shook his head in disbelief. “Imagine that,” he said, “the head of the EEA, unquestioned master of all things educational, doesn’t know history.”

“What are you getting at?” Neighsay asked testily.

“As I understand it,” Ash replied, “Princess Celestia and the Hippogriff Queen know each other from long ago; Celestia knew where they could be found and had faith that they possessed some magic that could combat the Storm King. Obviously, they hadn’t kept in touch, but from a historical perspective it’s hardly accurate to consider the Hippogriffs as strangers, let alone a threat. Besides, they owe Equestria a debt for ending the threat of the Storm King.”

“Perhaps,” Neighsay grumbled, averting his eyes. “That’s only one point where I may be willing to agree with you, though. Yaks and dragons still present credible threats. And then there are the Changelings, who have attacked Equestria twice in recent memory! Explain that away, Ashen Blaze!”

“Er,” Ash said, finally breaking eye contact with the Chancellor.

Neighsay quirked an eyebrow. “What’s the matter?” he asked. “You’ve had such quick retorts ready for everything until now. You have concerns about the Changelings’ motives, as well, don’t you?”

Ash grit his teeth and locked eyes with the Chancellor again. “I have misgivings, yes,” he said, “but I’m letting them be outweighed by-”

“Just a moment,” Neighsay interrupted, touching a hoof to his badge. He was silent for a second, and then looked back up at Ash with an angry sneer. “Your ploy has failed, Ashen Blaze,” he said.

“Ploy?” Ash sputtered. “What-”

Neighsay stood up and took a few steps away from his desk. “Your ploy to keep me distracted so I wouldn’t notice when somepony destroyed the seal I placed on Twilight’s school,” he said. “Let this be a lesson,” he continued, tapping the badge to open a portal, “that no violation of EEA edicts will go undiscovered or tolerated. You can see yourself out, now.”

“Hold on a second!” Ash exclaimed, “I have no idea what…” He trailed off as Neighsay ignored him and walked through the portal. “Morag,” Ash muttered, turning to head to the door. “I came here by my own determination, not as some...” He looked back, realizing the portal was still open. “Sloppy,” he said, shaking his head and heading over to the portal. He poked the blue area with a hoof and, when nothing shocked him, pushed him away, or made a noise, he stuck his head through to find himself staring at Neighsay’s backside as he was starting an argument with Twilight Sparkle on the path in front of the Friendship School. As Ash crept the rest of the way through the portal, he saw Twilight wasn’t standing alone. All her friends were with her, as were the five non-pony students, and the leaders of their respective nations, several pony students, and Princess Celestia for good measure.

Despite standing alone against so many, and so much political and magical power, Chancellor Neighsay was steadfast in his determination to block access to the school. “This is for the greater good!” he was saying. “The school was disorganized, the teachers unqualified! And-” he froze as he heard Ash’s hoofsteps behind him and twisted his head to look.

“Don’t mind me,” Ash said, grinning gleefully, “I’m just showing myself out. Go on, keep making a fool of yourself. I’ll just be right over here.” He sat down at the edge of the walkway, partway between Neighsay and the crowd but out of the way.

Neighsay glowered at Ash for a second, and then cleared his throat and tired to regain his train of thought. “The presence of those dangerous and unpredictable ‘students,’” he pointed at Yona, Ocellus, Gallus, Silverstream, and Smolder, “puts pony lives in danger!”

“I’ll show you unpredictable!” Dragon Lord Ember growled, clenching her fists and takinf a theatening step forward. That set the other leaders off, and their own protests or cries for everyone to calm down quickly turned into a jumble of incomprehensible shouting.

Ash sighed heavily and shook his head. “Prove his point for him, why don’t you?” he grumbled.

“Hold on, please!” Princess Celestia shouted over the din, goading her fellow leaders into silence. “I’m sure Princess Twilight has a good reason for all this.”

“I do,” Twilight said with supreme confidence. She marched up to Neighsay as she explained, “It’s true that my school may not be EEA accredited-”

“Then it’s not a school,” Neighsay interrupted.

Ash narrowed his eyes and stood up. Can’t levitate the ol’ morag, he mused silently, so how much force would it take to hip-check him into the moat?

“It’s not an EEA School,” Twilight said without missing a beat. “It’s a Friendship School with its own rules.” Her horn glowed an a thick tome – easily larger than the book of EEA guidelines – materialized on the ground in front of Neighsay. “I should know,” Twilight said, smirking, “since I wrote the book. These students reminded me that every friendship is special, so the way we teach Friendship has to be just as unique. My school is going to do things by our book.”

Chancellor Neighsay stared down at the door-stopper of a book, and then looked back up at Twilight with cold eyes. “Allowing all these creatures to attend your school, changing the rules for them?! It simply won’t work.”

Maybe a bull rush would work better… Ash thought, sliding into a better position. I can stand getting a little wet.

“I promise you, Chancellor,” Twilight said calmly, “my school will help protect Equestria.”

“Or destroy it!” Neighsay retorted. He spun and galloped back through his still-open portal. Ash lunged with a wordless cry, but the portal closed before he got more than a few steps.

“Pah,” Ash spat. “Fine then,” he said, “I’ll get him next time he darkens our doorway.”

“What were doing, Ash?” Twilight asked, “I mean, coming through his portal like that...”

“Ah,” Ash said with a dismissive wave, “he and I were just in the middle of discussing the school’s fate when you broke the seal, is all.”

“Oh,” Twilight said, sheepish. “Sorry. I… didn’t know.”

“You were so distraught, I didn’t want to waste time trying to sell you on the idea,” Ash said with a shrug. “Besides, I wasn’t getting anywhere. No other EEA members were there, and the whole thing was devolving into an ego clash anyway. Your solution is much better: got the doors open faster and got us out from under that gargoyle’s hoof at the same time.”

“Thank you for trying anyway,” Twilight said, giving Ash a quick hug. “So,” she said, turning toward the crowd. The students all looked eager, but there appeared to be uncertainty among their leaders. “Mind helping me to convince them to let their students come back, instead?” Twilight asked Ash.

“That sounds like a much easier task,” Ash replied, smirking.