Applejack, why do you keep pigs?

by ComradeCheese

Part 2/2

Drip…

Drop…

Drip…

Drop…

…was all that Rainbow Dash could hear as she has slowly recovered from her concussion. Her head groaning in protest as her muscles struggled to respond. She could feel the cold stuffy air around her as she shook and pitched form side to side, her body stiff but thanks to her athletic physique no cramps were noticed. Shifting, she felt a rough cloth beneath her filled with something strangely soft.

As she has finally recovered her sight she discovered herself in a grey room with just a lone narrow window pressed high against the ceiling keeping the room somewhat lit. Looking beneath, she discovered herself to be seated on a sack of flour.

As a matter of fact, the entire room was filled with tremendous sacks stuffed with potatoes, onions and other foodstuffs. The only exception being the bundles of herbs and garlic hanging over her head and a tall basket of apples standing in the corner of the grim room.

“Wait,” She thought. “Where’s Applejack?” She wondered as panic licked her left ear. Why was she in the basement? What does the crazy mare want to do with her? Why is Applejack nowhere to be seen? All were the questions that crept along her muzzle but she swore that she will find out.

Rainbow Dash looked franticly through the sacks as she tried to locate her friend to no avail. Getting off from the sack she has eventually found a door leading out of the storeroom. Much to her cheer she discovered that it was unlocked. However as she eagerly swung the door open a sensation hit her face like a battering ram.

The smell…

Panic has briefly returned, only to be bucked out of her head by a stronger sense of determination as she stepped out of the grim room to face whatever could be in from of her only to find herself in a greater predicament as all the suspicions came true in her eyes.

The bare concrete room was stuffed with parts of various types. Carcases lined the wall hanging form greasy cast iron hooks. Four freshly severed legs were laid on one of the many wrought iron tables, also covered in a fine layer of grease. The other was overflowing from the amount of flesh laid down on it while a third was filled to the brim with lard and buckets of flour. The chamber was completely devoid of windows with only a pair of burning gas lights keeping the room lit. But what dominated the scene where the two steel gas ovens lining the two opposing walls.

The left oven stood next to the table with the cuts and flour. Shelves of uncooked pies lined the wall behind it-presumably to be cooked later. The oven itself was near spotless as compared to the room as well as lined with servile dials and temperature reads-giving it a curiously pleasant look.

The oven to the right however was a direct contrast. Unlike the previous oven this one only had one switch: on/off. It was black and sooty and its spiked hulking door resembled a mouth of a manticore that nearly screamed: I’LL EAT YOU! But what set Rainbow off the edge were the bones. Bones lined the side of the oven which as she just noticed was full of ash…

“Hhneeegh…”

A hounded groan echoed from behind her. Each passing vowel lightly licking at her underbelly while the consonants brushed her rump. Shaken she has turned her head to see another table to her left, covered with a greasy piece of cloth. A few strands of blonde mane were hanging from the side…

“APPLEJACK!” Rainbow screamed to her relief as she jumped to the table and yanked the cloth off with her mouth revealing her friend before her lying unconscious on the cutting table. Rainbow was quick to get her seated upright while she shook her left to right.

“C’mon AJ, snap out of it! We gotta get out from here!” She shook her in her hooves only to receive a few more groans.

That was when an idea struck her.

She trotted over to the room she was originally in and grabbed one of the large green apples from the basket. As she returned she laid Applejack belly down and put the hefty fruit right in front of her nose. She then pressed her hoof into it cracking the tough fruit as aromatic juices leaked on the wool.

Almost instinctively the earth pony’s nose sniffed the air around it finding the green treat in front of her. Her lips smacked weakly in anticipation as her tongue moved forward, wrapped around its owners namesake and retrieved it inward. The next second Applejack jolted upwards in a show of shock and repulsion.

“SWEET CELESTIA THAT IS SOUR” She rose with crossed eyes and a drooling mouth. “Y’all should know cooking apples can’t be eaten raw!” She said as she recovered from the pain her mouth noticing her friend in a dark room with only one gaslight keeping the place lit… “Rainbow Dash?” she looked over with her head still groggy. “What happened?” She then jolted once more as she noticed the table next to her and what sat atop of it. “Did Extra Crispy knocked us cold or something?”

“Maybe…” She thought as she considered the situation, they are in the basement, knocked cold, and Applejack was laid on a cutting table…. “Actually forget it, that crazy mare is up to no good. We gotta get lost from her before she puts us in a pie or something!” She rushed her to the door only to discover what was suspected…

“Stromclouds, it’s locked!” she was about to give it a second go but she was soon dissuaded by a subtle noise coming from the other side. Cautiously she let go of the handle and pressed her ear against the door…

“Vhell, Vhell!” An eager voice slipped through the wood. “This has wenth a loth bether than ekshpected! Kharry on like this and this will bhe a splethid dhay indheeth!” She heard hoof steps trotting over stone. “Oh dear, that lookhs DULL”

Rainbows’s soul sunk to her hooves.

“What is going on there Rainbow?” AJ asked as she came over and joined the petrified Pegasus… just as they could hear a knife sharpened against a rolling grind wheel along with something out of this world…

hAVe YoU sEEn The MuFFiN maRe?!
SHEEEEENK
MuFFiN maRe?!
SHEEEEENK
MuFFiN maRe?!
SHEEEEENK
hAVe YoU sEEn ThE MuFFiN maRe?!
SHEEEEENK
wHO liVes dOwN flOwRer lanE?!

As they have soaked in the situation they have scrambled to get ready for the inevitable. Looking for anything that they can defend themselves with Applejack grabbed two of the premade pies and unceremoniously threw out the uncooked contents on the floor. Standing on their hind hooves they were ready to strike at the offending lady in her own basement. Much to their anticipation the door slowly creaked open. The Slithering Scarlet Pie Mare of Saltlick Street has entered the premises…

The pans came down, the red beast collapsed in surprise as she flailed her forelegs only to receive a second blow to her flanks that is when they noticed her cutie mark which was a quill crossed with a dagger, this made Applejack pause in wonder. It was in this pause that she noticed something odd… she could smell something…

She looked beside the quivering mare taking lumps from RD and noticed a large 20” tin holding a steamy fill rough oaty crust covering what smelled like apples to her… But why would she carry in a pie… Looking again she noticed something that kicked her into the stomach…

Tears

“Hold it Rainbow” She surged as she pulled Rainbow Dash away from the baker as far as she could who still sobbed… Turning towards the red mare she bend down and inquired: “What’s the getup?” But the mare still sobbed on the fat stained floor… “Why were we locked in a basement?”

“I…” She sniffed as she collected herself back on her legs. “I…” she sniffed once more.

“Isn’t it obvious AJ?” Rainbow Dash screamed accusingly pointing her hoof at the scarlet pony. “She was trying to eat us or
sell us to the unsuspecting ponies upstairs!”

“Eh?” The baker cringed. “Why woulth I do thath?” She cocked her head, her right eye opening wide. “What kinth of pony to you think I am?”

“Akhm!” Rainbow dash pointed around the room.

“I know it might be deeficulth for you to thrust me but I only do pighs. I sweah I neverh laid a hoof on a pony, yakh draghon or anyone who would argue it. I neve even thot of doin T H A T.”

“Perhaps we can discuss it together?” Applejack piped in. “Over a cup of tea and pie” She said picking up the pan.

The red earth pony smiled in relief, wiping the tears from her left eye. With her muzzle full of gratitude she timidly lead them up to a door which revealed a lift with a pony wheel which she stepped into… waving the two other ponies to come along with her.

“Aww come on!” Rainbow Dash squawked at the sight. “The pies! The elevator! THE MEAT! This has Sweeny Trot written all over it.

“Why wouldh you thinkh sho?” The baker backed up. “I look nothinh likhe that mahe…”

“You SOUND like king Sombra on earl grey”

“Now hold there Rainbow!” Applejack intervened. “I know she was honest when she said she meant no harm, though you still seem a little odd to me…” She said as she slowly stepped into the elevator along with a reluctant Rainbow Dash. Extra

Crispy soon set the wheel in motion as the lift creaked upwards thinking over what Rainbow Dash has told her”

“Do I rheely soundh like kin Sombhe… Soam… thath pony?”

“You both sound like snakes, except you have a better vocabulary…”

“Huh…” She thought “I thot he was mohre of a phetenshos monologher”

“Not in my memory”

IT WAS AT THIS POINT THAT THE AUTHOR FELT LIKE PULLING HIS HEAD THROUGH THE MONITOR WRITING OUT CRISPY’S DEFORMED PRNOUNCIATION,

By then the lift made its way to the ground floor which lead to a small corridor. Proceeding down it they have found themselves behind the counter. With the dining hall in front of them. All the chairs have been set on top of the tables, the sun was still low in the sky and the clock only just read out a quarter to seven.

Extra Crispy gestured them to occupy a set of chairs while she lit a gas fire to put on a kettle, following that she has joined them in where Rainbow was the first to begin…

“Ok...” Rainbow pressed her hooves into the table whilst standing on her hind legs “So you didn’t try to cook us.” The red mare cringed. “If AJ believes you, so will I. But why in the holly hay-o-hollandaise did you throw me in the closet and left AJ on the cutting table?” She pressed her hooves harder as she leaned forward.

“Please, don’t do that!” She gestured for her to sit down as she got on her hinds herself. “This is why you were down!” She gave the table a firm press to which it gave in, tilting the top to the side simultaneously as her face made a bitter frown.

“These tables are awfully prone to tilting!”

She then went onto describing in disturbing detail what happened in the dining hall followed on to what happened next…

“I tried to get you upstairs but didn’t know how to get you up the stairs on my back. So, I put you in my pie lift and found some nice places in the kitchen.” She said as she trotted of fetch the kettle which has just about started to whistle. “I also baked an apple crumble here as an apology”

“But what’s with the whole dull knife comment?” Rainbow squinted.

“Do you know how F R U S T R A T I N G dull knifes are? Wielding one with hooves is already a job and a half and now imagine through how much flesh I go through for the lard alone for me puffs”

She said only later noticing how much the other two mares have cringed, with the memory of the basement still fresh in their heads.

“That’s fine and all, but why are you selling meat pies without telling to anypony?” AJ piped in. “Y’all know honesty is the best policy, ‘ah learned it the hard way a couple’o’times.”

“Couldn’t agree more with you!” Extra Crispy said taking a sip. “But there is a difference between lying and not telling.” She smiled vaguely.

Applejack gave a slight glare, but gestured to proceed…

“Look, I am not hurting or poisoning anypony, I am not breaking the law and, whilst it is somewhat arguable, I am not doing anything immoral.” She leaned back on the chair. “So why I need to tell? Can’t I keep my trade secrets? After all, my savoury pies are nearly the best you can get in Trottingham; why should I throw it all away? I have been in the pie business for twenty years now and nopony complained.”

“Ah’ see you point…” Applejack mused for a moment before shaking her head off. “But that doesn’t make it right.”

“Well, look into what situation I am… Say I will announce it, I assume you have dedicated your life to apples, isn’t that right?”

“Well yes…”

“Consider this, you do use fertilizer to boost crops? Suppose you decided to use horseapples to boost the crop? Technically speaking, assuming you had no access to chicken, cow or any other nitrate would you consider this wrong?”

“Well, when you put it like that no…”

“Now imagine you were doing your business for as long as I do with no complaints coming from anypony, everyone is getting along happily until some Canterlot snob shows up and starts poking his horn all across your homestead.” Applejack quickly got a bad taste in her mouth as she remembered the few times she had the misfortune of dealing with nobles. “And then he goes flailing his hooves around threatening you to tell everyone just what kind of crop you are raising. Now, you know that the apples themselves would never come to within two yards from the stuff. You know that by the time harvest comes the manure would be all gone…”

As the baker spoke Rainbow could feel something was off…, The way the red mare delivered her words, the way she gestured with her hooves…, something put her off…

“…Those noblepones are nearly as bad as a the lot who provide me with gas…, It’s like the chairpony of the gasworks thinks she’s Celestia herself with how irregular her pricing is and if you don’t keep up with the rates being updated on a whim you get fined…”

The chatter carried on to the mellow ticking of the clock and clatter of mugs. As pleasant as it was Rainbow was still a little restless as she caught an odd gleam in the eyes of Extra Crispy….

“…and before you know I had the knobheads from south metropolitan rail banging on my door; demanding I give them the secret. Honestly these train studs are as stiff as kippers, don’t you think?”

“Damn tootin!”

“Indeed, I have not seen this level of annoyance until you came in, no offence of course.”

“None taken, Crispy” Applejack waved her hoof in dismissal. While rainbow still felt a little queasy…

“Say, I have noticed you haven’t really had the chance to enjoy any of me savouries proper. How about a fresh meal for both of you? It is only five to six so there is plenty of time before I open.”

“Well, that’s just dandy!”

“Hang on here!” Rainbow Dash cut in. “You wouldn’t take even fish from a shop but all of a sudden you are craving pork?”

“Well I…” Applejack thought over what she was just talking about. “Ah don’t know…” The look on her face gradually morphed into a more displeased one. “Yeah…, why would I want one in the first place?”

Rainbow Dash shot the scarlet pony a glare as the latter slowly retreated deeper into her seat with a flat face. Before Rainbow could say anything the baker raised her hoof to bring attention.

“Ok, you have caught me in the act…, I admit I thought I might swing this one… but I swear to Celestia that I weren’t doing anything funny! Before you say anything I would like you to pay a close attention to my cutie mark” The baker gestured to her rump after getting of the seat. A quill drawing a heart crossed over with a blood soaked dagger.

“I have a bloody good talent when it comes to coercion.”

“Coercion?”

“I make pretty convincing arguments on my party, talking in and out of situations. It’s what allowed me go through my daily life with relative ease. Do you honestly think running this operation is easy with me importing all my meats from Griffinstone on the quiet whilst also selling pies in the day and nitrates in the night?” She then looked at Applejack. “By the way, if you are interested only four bits a pound… but for you I’ll make it two-fifty. Does miracles on the crop.” Apllejack raised an eyebrow to this. “Sorry, forced habit” The red mare turned an even deeper shade of red.

“Why meat though?” Rainbow pondered. If you’re THAT good at haggling you don’t need no dumb gimmicks.”

“Well… It is something I got used to…” Her head was down. “When I was a filly my parents were very poor when it came to the money. We had a small shop near the chemical plant but when I was around five the plant closed and we lost a considerable amount of customers.” She eased in her seat as she recounted the events further.

“Thankfully we owned the building whilst coal, at the time at least, was cheaper than stone so we didn’t need to worry about that, but one of the things that was rather worrying was food. And so around four years since closure, or when I was nine, was when we were hit the hardest because the bottle plant nearby shut for renovations: Those were the toughest times we have faced in my memory.”

“One day I was trotting back home from school when I saw a pair of teen Gryphons climbing a house with longbows on their backs. Being curious I asked them what are doing with bows. To which they have both smiled and said that they have been on a hunt form some dinner. Having told me it being a tradition from where they came from.”

“Knowing that my cupboards were of such state that the house rats were on the brink of suicide I have willingly accepted to join them.”

“What I thought they would be doing was stealing apples from the gardens of some high-hat, what I did not expect was them going for the pigeons. Whilst I was revolted at first I did not let it show.”

“The hunt went well, as they have put it, so they have gave me two birds for snacks. I couldn't stomach telling them that ponies don't eat meat and so I hauled them home. As I have arrived I have noticed that there was nothing to make pies with... Begrudgingly I have proceeded to dress the pigeon in the back garden, following the same logic as you would when dressing a fish. Guts, bones, all went into the bin. Following which I have stuffed it into some bread dough and baked it....”

“To my surprise it came out alright. One pie I had for myself and the other two I have gave to my parents. They were confused at first bt I explained it off as a different type of fish. After filling up their stomachs well I have discovered an opportunity…”

“I was in the same spot the next day after school, this time I have brought a spare sack, a makeshift spear and servile knifes which I concealed in my school sack. The Gryphons both welcomed me and we became partners in our hunt. Soon the pies went on the shelf under the condition that only I was allowed to make them, whilst perfecting the recipe-the fat I managed to trim off came handy to make the new pies in shortcrust pastry, some vegetables were added for taste… it was going as smooth as butter until the constables caught wind… We had our best haul ever too… Apparently he thought we were stealing city property. The gryphons might have been angered but woolthroat me was LIVID. I have immediately told him what I think of him, the town and the lot and the works. I was S E E T H I N G at him. Bear in mind, I did half my work in very intimate proximity so let’s say my coat colour is not the right shade of red to hide certain things. So, he backed out. We continued hunting on since then… but I that day I felt EMPOWERED!” She said as leaned in to pour herself another cup of tea.

“So, your parents had nothing to say about it?”

“Well, they knew that I did dreamt to carry the craft onwards and my pigeon pies were bringing them a steady source of income as the word spread, no pigeons mentioned of course. So my parents thought it was best to let me keep at it…”

“And you have got away with scaring away the police?”

“I did, let me get to that later… So I was carrying on for another week or so until I was called to the headmaster’s office to discuss what I am doing in the afterhours. I told him I was just having a stroll with some friends of mine, he told me my homework wasn’t the greatest but I told I was playing the long term game and for what I was aiming for I did not need an A in geography and I was NOT interested in agricultural studies tagged on by the EEA. But in the middle of my discussions I smelled a rat-I think the constable snitched to him as he demanded I should have my bags expected. I knew I violated servile school policies then but, almost miraculously I managed to play it cool… “

"So I handed him over my bag which in fact packed a stash worthy of a Royal Guard’s kitbag. I immediately understood that I could not push him over like I did with the police so I played my other card. But I knew I had a pretty good reputation with the staff as a kind, lovable and dare I say pitiable (thanks to my voice and money situation) filly. I immediately confessed to him of me having to slaughter a dozen of pigeons a day to keep myself and my family fed. And I prayed and begged on my knees not to tell anyone about what I need to go through on a daily basis or else I will be all mane and ribs.”

“His face was priceless… He went into a discussion about bringing blades into school but he said he will sweep everything under the rug as long as I promise that I will not be bringing any more knifes into the school premises. Saying that he never thought of me as a bully so he will let it slide.”

“I pranced out of the office like a hobo into a salt warehouse. And this is the day that I got my cutie mark. A feather for the soft speak and a dagger for threats.”

“As the plant re-opened I eventually quit it with the pigeon pies, I still kept in touch with Glaive and Gladius as old partners in craft who later on opened a small butchers in some borough where there was a large gryphon community. My parents eventually moved to Vanhoofer where there was less competition but I was determined to make it in here knowing that I have quite the ace among my possessions.”

“The two feathered friends of mine loved the idea and got me in touch with their supplier: I knew well how to butcher the carcasses and what bits and pieces I can save and such. So the meat pies were back on the table.”

“Thanks to my special skills I managed to make just about everyone point their muzzle away from my operations. I later on sold the old shop to get myself this one where I work to this day for about twenty years now. And since nopony sells pies you can get here my business is secure as a safe in a vault in a keep” She said proudly putting the mug down. “I will never have to live in poverty again and my parent’s retirement plan is fully realised. What more a mare could want?”
Extra Crispy got off her chair and went further on whilst trotting around the two mares whom were still seated.

“Take a look at you both…, I might not be well read in the current events but I did find out a few things about you two when asking some of my customers for pies and nitrates. Miss Rainbow Dash here is one of the more celebrated wonderbolts known-which is not something I expect most ponies won’t brag about every five seconds. The fact that you don’t brag is worthy to brag about.”

“And young mistress Applejack here carries the legacy of the Apple family. One of the oldest earth pony clans as well as tends on the only farm in Equestria to offer the ever-so scrumptious Zap Apples. Your family brings something to the table that you can’t get from anypony else. Doesn’t that sound familiar? We both offer something unique to the pony folk that nopony else can offer. But look at me, I am a just a humble mare with a broken voice who is not interested in family connections that can spur up entire towns. Is being a queen of pie that much to ask?"

The room has remained, with the exception of the clock ticking in the background, silent for a good three minutes. It was later that Applejack decided to intervene.

“The way you said it sounds like there is nothing more to life than money and achievement.” Applejack pondered. “That is not exactly right you know…”

“Why would that be the case? I have the right to choose what I find important and as long as nopony gets hurt I don’t see
any problems.”

“Yeah? But what about friends and family? Surely you can’t put money before family…”

“Faust forbid!” The baker expressed a frown. “One of the main reasons I save up so much is to make sure my parents can have a graceful retirement.”

"And what about friends?" Applejack wouldn't quit. "You do know that good friends are akin to a second family?"

“I will have you know that I still have Glaive and Gladius…”

“And when was the last time you talked to them?”

“Well I…,” The baker stuttered as she thought over when WAS the last time she had seen her two childhood partners… “I don’t know to be terribly honest”

“But’ye can’t live like that!” Applejack waved her hooves in frustration and pity. “If’ye obsess wit’ nuthin’ but bits you will just become the greedy griff from one of Al Trotson’s shows!”

“I can’t belive we had to use that reference…” Rainbow Dash wondered as Applejack continued with her tantrum.

“Yes, Ah’ sure have enough bits to make Diamond Tiara eat ‘er namesake, whichIwouldn’tdosincesheishaschangedforthebetterbutthat’sbesidethepoint…”

“Now you’re channeling your inner pinkie?” Rainbow wondered further.

“But the only realy reason to save bits is to help your family! And friends are much akin to family, I have Rainbow here, Rarity, Twi and even Discord! Speakin’o’family I might not be on a lookout yet but my big brother Mac is only a few months from proposin’. Your romanic life has probably never existed and never will! Yeah ‘ye have your parents but ah’ ain’t sure for how much longer will you have ‘em. I know for how long ‘ah did! But you can’t appreciate it even if ye’ thik you can. Not only you will spend your entire life with an empty crib but you will have nopony to appreciate what makes you happy, nopony to comfort you when you are sad and worse still there will be nopony to see you off to your deathbed.”

Applejack has stopped to take a breather while Crispy had her metaphorical cogs going tick-tick-tick everso faster in her head while Rainbow, for the first time ever, felt genuinely sorry for the baker, covering her back with her left wing; trying to soothe what was under her hide.

“Ahm’sorry Crisp, but I am just bein’ honest.”

“No, no it is perfectly fine…," she has inhaled slowy... "I think I see what you mean…, I do need to give my two only friends a visit, if they are still in town. As well as that I will have to announce to my patrons what exacty is going into theor pies. Even if I loose my shop I should still maintain a happy life for as much as I have left of it.”

This time it was the turn for Applejack to feel sorry again.

“Look here Crispy…, I am sorry to go this hard on you but you need to understand that I only want what’s best for you. And it doesn’t help that you are butchering my hogs here… that didn’t help at all…” She then tried to comofort the baker... "And you don't look that old..., what are you now? 40?"

“That’s impossible…” Extra Crispy mumbled as she was assessing the weight of the situation. “My meat is purely Griffinstone imports, noting ever comes over from inside Equestria." She sniffed, "And I am 36..."

“What do you mean?” Applejack wondered as she pulled out a copy of the invoice form her hat… “Here…, the hogs were Delivered to Trottingham, Saltlick Street unit N 13”

The baker took the sheet for inspectin to which she replied…

“Sweetie” She held the document out to Applejack. “This says S A L T L I C K E R’S S T R E E T. It’s on the other side of the city altogether. And it’s an animal acrobatics circus…”

---

Time has passed… the two ponies left to see wat was going on in the circus as Extra Crispy has gathered herself together for the eventual reveal she committed to as ten o’clock has ticked over and her shop was open. Many ponies have come around as she put on her best Sunday dress and stood on top of the counter with no food ready for the folk. Eventually when the number of confused patrons ticked over two dozen she made the announcement of the decade.

“Before I serve anypony I think it is best I clarify one very important details the pies here are made with pig meat and lard.”

Author's Note:

Two weeks, I said...
No more delays, I said...
Angry screaming
Well here is the second Half, only the epilogue is left... (and do make sure to read the epilogue as it will be important for where this story is going) But yeah, hope Y'all like this one...
P.S.
I do know that pie and mash are supposed be consistent of a beef and onion pie and mash, not pork but since cows in the show were shown to be capable of havoing a conversation that was of the table. Plus this isn't "Applejack why you keep cows?" sine that would have a very obvious answer.
And yeah writing Extra Crispy's Dialogue was a b so sorry for giving up on that but I think this makes it easier for everyone.