> Applejack, why do you keep pigs? > by ComradeCheese > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Part 1/2 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Applejack, why do you keep pigs?” A question, innocent enough, passed through her ears as she turned around to see a rather curious cyan pegasus. “Sorry Rainbow?” Asked Applejack as she moved her back legs off the tree and turned her full attention to her honest friend. “What did ya ask?” “Well, I was chillaxing on a cloud you see after taking Tank to Fluttershy where she was talking about her other animals and stuff. So while I was thinking over the things she was dragging on about I wondered-why do you keep pigs? You are not an animal caretaker, so you are not getting paid for keeping them, nor you can milk them, can you?” “Nah Raindbow.” Applejack giggled. “Yer can’t milk an oinker.” “Then what the hay did I bought on that state fair three moons ago?” “What?” “Why do you keep them? You can’t be keeping them just for the sake of it!” “Well of course not! A farm mare never wastes one bit unless it’s family.” She puffed her barrel proudly. “Anything for my folk, but nothing wasted!” “That’s all well and good but why DO you keep them?” Rainbow creaked in slight frustration hiding under her raspy voice. “Not like you are related to pigs?” “Gee, slow your wagon there partner!” Applejack was mildly annoyed “I was getting there. No, I don’t keep’em for nothin y’know. There is that that really kind fellar who pay me good money to keep’em on a promise that I return him the ones that are fully grown, heathy pigs." “Great,” Rainbow was about to fly back but at the last moment she turned around and asked. “What for?” “Pardon?” “What does he needs them pigs for?” Rainbow Dash scratched her head. “If there is no reason to own pigs why would he want them?” “Dunno, maybe he distributes them to the caretakers?” “Doubt that! Fluttershy never bought a critter in her life. All she has are either wild critters, adopted pets or that gift from Discord…” Rainbow muttered something else under her breath-this time completely incomprehensible. “Ehh…” Applejack pondered scratching the mane under her old Stenson. “Maybe people buy them as pets?” “Do you know anyone with a pig for a pet?” “Ah’ suppose it is kinda strange now that I think about it-but it earns me my keep so what do I… “What if…” Rainbow sharply interrupted her; pressing her nose into her muzzle. Her eyes as big as dinner plates. “…they are exported to Griffinstone!?” “Why would anypony need em’ there?” “Dinner.” Rainbow Dash said confidently. “Rainbow?!” Applejack immediately objected. “I know you can be a bit a bit screwed up sometimes but that is straight-up nasty. Where do get ideas like that from?” “Gilda.” “Well we both knew she is a bad influence for your character? Ah’ve seen more tasteful jokes commin' out from Discord’s toilet…” “No, I mean you know that meat is very popular in that side of the world? We have been fishing once, trying to re-bond, and she told me more about the food there… Pigs are often raised for their flesh there and it fetches quite a good price too.” The words sunk in for a few moments as the young farmer considered the possibilities which were becoming increasingly unpleasant inside her head… “Rainbow Danger Dash… I need you to take a quick de-tour to Starlight’s old town, as quick as you can, and see whenever Sugarbelle can stay here for two days extra or so on her next visit to cover for me. I know she is a unicorn but there’s a lot of work to do and Granpa Pear is far too busy with his own work-if anything he needs some help to boot. If she can come then both of us will take a train to Sayer’s Hollow as soon as possible to MAKE SURE that the oinkies aren't being sent to the ovens.” “Sure thing AJ! Rainbow was about to depart but then stopped again. But before I go…” she leaned down. “…did you REALLY see jokes in Discords… bowl?” She whispered in wonder. "Nah, it’s the smell there that makes you hear and then see things-something about nopony expecting the inquisition and spam… Was the weirdest thing ‘ah ever saw.” Later on in Sayer’s Hollow. "No," The stallion at the desk waved off the notion pushed at him by the two cautious fillies. "I wouldn’t worry about that! We have a full voluntary embargo on any deals made with the establishments around or within Griffinstone. We here value our customers and we would never ship any animals that are traded through this door to be eaten. As a matter of fact I have all my transfer invoices right there…” He proceeded to bend down until he pulled out a thick file which he quickly browsed through. “Aha, there it is… Last time you have sent me a couple of pigs four months ago those were delivered to Trottingham, Saltlicker’s Street, building number 13. While at first they have decided to head straight home they have decided that they might as well check on the two since Trottingham was only a short detour from their original pathway… So while they were at Baltimare they changed trains and arrived in Trottingham. Leaving the decorated cast iron and glass shelter of the station they were greeted with a sight of brown brick tenements hugging around limestone avenues. In the distance they could see tall cranes of the ports and narrow stacks from the looming mills. Briefly taking in the surroundings they have set off… “You know what I was thinking AJ” Rainbow said as they were navigating through tight rows of brick terrace housing and businesses packed back to back against each other. “Yes, Rainbow?” Applejack looked over from the cheap b/w tourist map they were given on the station. “You could have just sent me there and I would’ve had the information you need in ten minutes flat instead of having to haul us both on a slow moving train up north.” She said while also eyeing up a fish and chip shop thinking about a snack… “Ah well, I suppose it’s my animals-well not anymore, but it is more important for me to be sure myself. I know your no liar but I like to be, as you would say, 20% more confident." “Heh, yea…” She said drifting in the general direction of the fish and chip shop. “No we are not going there.” She said as they passed the takeaway. “I know some ponies, pegasi especially, engage in this sorta thing but I can’t imagine eating fish that been alive minutes away.” “Ok,” Rainbow lamented. “And to be honest form the smell it is more like few days ago…" She cringed as the door opened. “Bleh… Anyhoot where is that darn place?” "Gee AJ, those maps aren’t THAT great you know!” she moaned “Well we are on Saltlick Street, but I am not seeing a pattern with those numbers yet… It’s too crowded to see mu… WHOA!” She barely dodged another pegasus flying past. “SORRY LASS!” Echoed from the nearby alley” “…much… WATCH WHERE YOU GOING PUNK!” Rainbow squawked angrily shaking her hoof in the general direction of the sound. “Rainbow you are going to get us in trouble…” Applejack moaned “This here bakery is a 42…, what’s the number on the next house?” “43” “Cons darn it we are going backwards!” “Next one is also 42, no wait it’s actually 42a… followed by a 41b and then 42b…” " '-' " A long trot and servile questions later The have finally came to the house they were looking for. In its exterior the building itself was unremarkably simple even by Trottingham standards. A terrace row that had it’s second (or first as the locals called it) floor whitewashed while the first (or ground) was kept a bare brick. Crude door, two pairs of narrow windows and a blue tile roof hump was given to each unit. Their house at the end of the terrace however had three notable exceptions-it had a turret on the side of it as well making the building wider, instead of a normal chimney it had a factory level flue stack towering over the relatively small house and each widow had a particularly notable phrase written with gold paint: The Slithering Scarlet Pie Mare’s of Saltlick Street PIE & MASH SHOP Traditional Cheese and Onion/Apple Savoury/Trottingham Pies and Mashed Potatoes “So…,” Rainbow began with a blank expression “That son of a mule said that he makes sure no animal trade-ins are sent to the slaughter house-and he sent us to a restaurant?” “Hold yer horses Rainbow-ah don’t see any…” gulp “cold cuts on sale there, plus ah see mainly ponies there on the inside… surely you would expect more griffons and maybe diamond dogs if that was the case?” She said peeking through the window in the turret. The restaurant in fact was, besides one griffon, stuffed with ponies enjoying their lunch of various kind of pie along with a side of mash and either a cup or stein of drink behind heavy wooden tables. The dining hall itself was given a simple whitewash on the inside with some eye pleasing decorations added such as green and red tablecloths along with lace curtains, decorated gas lighting and few paintings of various warships under gale. As they have entered they immediately noticed the lack of a host of the place, they decided not to be too intrusive on the owner or/and server but instead to side step on the issue they want to inquire about... They eventually approached the counter under which they could see a vast hot cabinet sticking out… Rainbow rung the bell conveniently placed next to the abandoned counter… “…coming sveetees…” A slithering, muffled voice slipped from the back…about solid five minutes later a red earth pony mare in socks, apron and bonnet showed up before them. She stood on her hind legs while her forehooves pressed into the counter, her muzzle grinning madly. “Gheeetings, I am the slitherin scarhet mare of salthlik stheet! Welcome tho my shop!” “Gee you really meant the slithering part on the window didn’t you…” Rainbow asked as she processed what the mare had said. “Well, an ahthist, a shef can be an ahthist canth she, neeths a good stage name…, I haventh been bleshed with a singhing ghade voice and I do have my shcarlet coat-so I though it rhymesh." She raised her chin in pride while giving her maroon coat a brush. “What is your real name by any chance?” Rainbow said trying to sound as chill as possible. “I am Rainbow Dash.” “Applejack…” she added. “E X T R A C R I S P Y” The mare winced and cringed as she tried to nail the pronunciation, which thankfully she did. “Gosh you don’t need to say it like that…” Applejack cringed at the way in which the chef's face twisted and bent. “What are the prices here? I am STARVING!” Rainbow Dash whined while Applejack gave her a bit of a glare. “Here ish the menu” she pointed at the chalkboard hanging on the wall behind the counter which Rainbow studied meticulously while Applejack face hooved on the inside. “What the hay is a Trottingham pie?” Rainbow asked… “House speshialy, I don’t want to be thading away my sheekrets” She said “Ith ish our hottesht item” “Well I want that in my mouth then, what about you AJ? Apple savoury?” “Sure…” Applejack gave in so that she doesn't appear like a sour apple. The mare behind the counter has quickly pulled out two large dinner plates and fetched two pies out of the cabinet, one in puff pastry and the other in harder standing crust, which she placed onto the plates. She then opened a lid in the top of the cabinet revealing a mass of mashed potato which she spread onto the plate with a wooden spoon in her teeth. She put the spoon down to grab a ladle; opening another lid filled with thick brown liquid. “Wvavee?” Extra Crispy asked presenting the steaming brown liquid. “Sorry what was that?” Rainbow asked. “Gravy?” She said again after putting down the ladle… “Ya’ call that gravy?” Applejack asked with hint of repulsiveness in her voice. “Yesh…” she said mildly surprised “What would you ekshpect gravy to bhe like?” She said as if she didn’t know of its continental namesake-for better or worse. "Never mind AJ!" Rainbow said whilst laying down the bits on the counter and swiftly grabbing her plate… As they took their seats they took in the sight of their plates. The first thing that Applejack did was to take her “pie”, which was only 4” across making it more of a pastry, and out of habit cut it into four slices. The smell emitted from the pie quickly revealed that it was less apple and more savoury. Taking a bite she quickly discerned that the apples were definitely not from any of her family farms and were probably the less common cooking apples; mixed in with a considerable amount of oats and onion. But despite the fact that the filling was an offence to apples as an entity the puff pastry crust and mashed potatoes were excellent while the gravy was not half bad either. Seeing Applejacks face going from disgust to quiet enjoyment Rainbow has gingerly split her pie in two-revealing a greyish chunky paste on the inside spewing out a rich half savoury half spicy odour that has quickly assaulted her nostrils. “The hay?” Rainbow inspected the filling with her feathers. “What in Equestria is that?” She said feeling the filling of her meal. “It’s chunky and sticky…” she said as she took some of it into her mouth. The taste of it was like nothing she ever tasted-it had a flavour that was both rich and plain at the same time-but it was really good. Upon further consumption she noted that both the filling and the crust were… She couldn't pick a good word to describe it. Oily? No there defiantly wasn’t oil in there it didn’t had the slightly bitter flavour that usually followed it. Buttery? Maybe but the unlike butter it did have a mellow savoury flavour to it. If it was fish she would call it fatty but… wait… FATTY? Realisation struck her. After she sat motionless for solid three minutes she pushed the plate to one side and wiped her muzzle clean with a napkin… This did not go unnoticed by Applejack but Rainbow thought that was for the better as she let her lean in while she whispered into her ear: “AJ, I believe our early suspicions have come true. This Trotingham pie must be made with meat.” AJ did not need any further notice to agree with Rainbow Dash as she also pushed aside her plate as they quietly began to discuss what plan of action should they have for the butcher behind the counter. AJ argued for an honest one to one discussion behind the house while Rainbow wanted to make a broad announcement in the dining hall. However, the mare of their chat came to them. “Vas there a probhlem with the food?” Extra Crispy asked innocently. “I Canh make you a fresh batsh…” She said picking a piece of Rainbows pie as she munched audibly on it. “Bith cold buth nothing whrong…, maybe you hust dohnt like Thotingham pie?" “No…” Rainbow Dash said. “Never in my entire life have been bamboozled THIS MUCH. And I live near Pinkie for Celestia’s sake” “B A M B O O Z L E D?” The red mare struggled to pronounce the word…”Why?” It was at this moment that her face has changed instantly as her eyes turned as big as the dinner plates that she was recently handing out. Wasting no time she leaned it where conversation was once more drowned down to a mere whisper. “Ye donth need to be rhude to me you know.” “What do you mean rude?” “Lookh around.” She waved her hoof around the busy establishment. “There are plenthy of ponies here enjhoing the food here. Wouldn’t you think revealinh this lithle oversight would spoil their appetiteas and foreveh ruin theirh favorite meals for them? I will say you ahe noth the firhsth to find outh, quithe a few did-mainly Hriffons but some ponies as well, nophony was this peefed before." “I RAISED THOSE HOGS!” Applejack exclaimed as she pressed her hoof into the table. However unbeknownst to her she pressed her hoof into Dash's meal. The lardy filling sent her hoof forward like a diving hawk across the table. Slipping she spread herself against the table cracking one of the legs sending it straight into Rainbow’s jaw which briefly stunned the pegasus as she fell over as well. Much to her ill luck her head landed on that of Applejack. Knocking out both of them in the process. The commotion has quickly attracted the attention of the entire restaurant as ponies looked from their tables. “Oh deah!” The scarlet mare exclaimed audibly. “What a pithy, I shoulth have chanshed those tables longh aho…” “Are they alright?” Somepony sked approaching them. “Oh yesh yesh!” Extra Crispy quickly reassured everyone. “Justh a concussion! Nothin more… She said putting the two mares on her back like two heavy sacks. “I’ll takhe them in to shee thath nothin happens to them-Ih’ll ghive them hood care” > Part 2/2 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Drip… Drop… Drip… Drop… …was all that Rainbow Dash could hear as she has slowly recovered from her concussion. Her head groaning in protest as her muscles struggled to respond. She could feel the cold stuffy air around her as she shook and pitched form side to side, her body stiff but thanks to her athletic physique no cramps were noticed. Shifting, she felt a rough cloth beneath her filled with something strangely soft. As she has finally recovered her sight she discovered herself in a grey room with just a lone narrow window pressed high against the ceiling keeping the room somewhat lit. Looking beneath, she discovered herself to be seated on a sack of flour. As a matter of fact, the entire room was filled with tremendous sacks stuffed with potatoes, onions and other foodstuffs. The only exception being the bundles of herbs and garlic hanging over her head and a tall basket of apples standing in the corner of the grim room. “Wait,” She thought. “Where’s Applejack?” She wondered as panic licked her left ear. Why was she in the basement? What does the crazy mare want to do with her? Why is Applejack nowhere to be seen? All were the questions that crept along her muzzle but she swore that she will find out. Rainbow Dash looked franticly through the sacks as she tried to locate her friend to no avail. Getting off from the sack she has eventually found a door leading out of the storeroom. Much to her cheer she discovered that it was unlocked. However as she eagerly swung the door open a sensation hit her face like a battering ram. The smell… Panic has briefly returned, only to be bucked out of her head by a stronger sense of determination as she stepped out of the grim room to face whatever could be in from of her only to find herself in a greater predicament as all the suspicions came true in her eyes. The bare concrete room was stuffed with parts of various types. Carcases lined the wall hanging form greasy cast iron hooks. Four freshly severed legs were laid on one of the many wrought iron tables, also covered in a fine layer of grease. The other was overflowing from the amount of flesh laid down on it while a third was filled to the brim with lard and buckets of flour. The chamber was completely devoid of windows with only a pair of burning gas lights keeping the room lit. But what dominated the scene where the two steel gas ovens lining the two opposing walls. The left oven stood next to the table with the cuts and flour. Shelves of uncooked pies lined the wall behind it-presumably to be cooked later. The oven itself was near spotless as compared to the room as well as lined with servile dials and temperature reads-giving it a curiously pleasant look. The oven to the right however was a direct contrast. Unlike the previous oven this one only had one switch: on/off. It was black and sooty and its spiked hulking door resembled a mouth of a manticore that nearly screamed: I’LL EAT YOU! But what set Rainbow off the edge were the bones. Bones lined the side of the oven which as she just noticed was full of ash… “Hhneeegh…” A hounded groan echoed from behind her. Each passing vowel lightly licking at her underbelly while the consonants brushed her rump. Shaken she has turned her head to see another table to her left, covered with a greasy piece of cloth. A few strands of blonde mane were hanging from the side… “APPLEJACK!” Rainbow screamed to her relief as she jumped to the table and yanked the cloth off with her mouth revealing her friend before her lying unconscious on the cutting table. Rainbow was quick to get her seated upright while she shook her left to right. “C’mon AJ, snap out of it! We gotta get out from here!” She shook her in her hooves only to receive a few more groans. That was when an idea struck her. She trotted over to the room she was originally in and grabbed one of the large green apples from the basket. As she returned she laid Applejack belly down and put the hefty fruit right in front of her nose. She then pressed her hoof into it cracking the tough fruit as aromatic juices leaked on the wool. Almost instinctively the earth pony’s nose sniffed the air around it finding the green treat in front of her. Her lips smacked weakly in anticipation as her tongue moved forward, wrapped around its owners namesake and retrieved it inward. The next second Applejack jolted upwards in a show of shock and repulsion. “SWEET CELESTIA THAT IS SOUR” She rose with crossed eyes and a drooling mouth. “Y’all should know cooking apples can’t be eaten raw!” She said as she recovered from the pain her mouth noticing her friend in a dark room with only one gaslight keeping the place lit… “Rainbow Dash?” she looked over with her head still groggy. “What happened?” She then jolted once more as she noticed the table next to her and what sat atop of it. “Did Extra Crispy knocked us cold or something?” “Maybe…” She thought as she considered the situation, they are in the basement, knocked cold, and Applejack was laid on a cutting table…. “Actually forget it, that crazy mare is up to no good. We gotta get lost from her before she puts us in a pie or something!” She rushed her to the door only to discover what was suspected… “Stromclouds, it’s locked!” she was about to give it a second go but she was soon dissuaded by a subtle noise coming from the other side. Cautiously she let go of the handle and pressed her ear against the door… “Vhell, Vhell!” An eager voice slipped through the wood. “This has wenth a loth bether than ekshpected! Kharry on like this and this will bhe a splethid dhay indheeth!” She heard hoof steps trotting over stone. “Oh dear, that lookhs DULL” Rainbows’s soul sunk to her hooves. “What is going on there Rainbow?” AJ asked as she came over and joined the petrified Pegasus… just as they could hear a knife sharpened against a rolling grind wheel along with something out of this world… hAVe YoU sEEn The MuFFiN maRe?! SHEEEEENK MuFFiN maRe?! SHEEEEENK MuFFiN maRe?! SHEEEEENK hAVe YoU sEEn ThE MuFFiN maRe?! SHEEEEENK wHO liVes dOwN flOwRer lanE?! As they have soaked in the situation they have scrambled to get ready for the inevitable. Looking for anything that they can defend themselves with Applejack grabbed two of the premade pies and unceremoniously threw out the uncooked contents on the floor. Standing on their hind hooves they were ready to strike at the offending lady in her own basement. Much to their anticipation the door slowly creaked open. The Slithering Scarlet Pie Mare of Saltlick Street has entered the premises… The pans came down, the red beast collapsed in surprise as she flailed her forelegs only to receive a second blow to her flanks that is when they noticed her cutie mark which was a quill crossed with a dagger, this made Applejack pause in wonder. It was in this pause that she noticed something odd… she could smell something… She looked beside the quivering mare taking lumps from RD and noticed a large 20” tin holding a steamy fill rough oaty crust covering what smelled like apples to her… But why would she carry in a pie… Looking again she noticed something that kicked her into the stomach… Tears “Hold it Rainbow” She surged as she pulled Rainbow Dash away from the baker as far as she could who still sobbed… Turning towards the red mare she bend down and inquired: “What’s the getup?” But the mare still sobbed on the fat stained floor… “Why were we locked in a basement?” “I…” She sniffed as she collected herself back on her legs. “I…” she sniffed once more. “Isn’t it obvious AJ?” Rainbow Dash screamed accusingly pointing her hoof at the scarlet pony. “She was trying to eat us or sell us to the unsuspecting ponies upstairs!” “Eh?” The baker cringed. “Why woulth I do thath?” She cocked her head, her right eye opening wide. “What kinth of pony to you think I am?” “Akhm!” Rainbow dash pointed around the room. “I know it might be deeficulth for you to thrust me but I only do pighs. I sweah I neverh laid a hoof on a pony, yakh draghon or anyone who would argue it. I neve even thot of doin T H A T.” “Perhaps we can discuss it together?” Applejack piped in. “Over a cup of tea and pie” She said picking up the pan. The red earth pony smiled in relief, wiping the tears from her left eye. With her muzzle full of gratitude she timidly lead them up to a door which revealed a lift with a pony wheel which she stepped into… waving the two other ponies to come along with her. “Aww come on!” Rainbow Dash squawked at the sight. “The pies! The elevator! THE MEAT! This has Sweeny Trot written all over it. “Why wouldh you thinkh sho?” The baker backed up. “I look nothinh likhe that mahe…” “You SOUND like king Sombra on earl grey” “Now hold there Rainbow!” Applejack intervened. “I know she was honest when she said she meant no harm, though you still seem a little odd to me…” She said as she slowly stepped into the elevator along with a reluctant Rainbow Dash. Extra Crispy soon set the wheel in motion as the lift creaked upwards thinking over what Rainbow Dash has told her” “Do I rheely soundh like kin Sombhe… Soam… thath pony?” “You both sound like snakes, except you have a better vocabulary…” “Huh…” She thought “I thot he was mohre of a phetenshos monologher” “Not in my memory” IT WAS AT THIS POINT THAT THE AUTHOR FELT LIKE PULLING HIS HEAD THROUGH THE MONITOR WRITING OUT CRISPY’S DEFORMED PRNOUNCIATION, By then the lift made its way to the ground floor which lead to a small corridor. Proceeding down it they have found themselves behind the counter. With the dining hall in front of them. All the chairs have been set on top of the tables, the sun was still low in the sky and the clock only just read out a quarter to seven. Extra Crispy gestured them to occupy a set of chairs while she lit a gas fire to put on a kettle, following that she has joined them in where Rainbow was the first to begin… “Ok...” Rainbow pressed her hooves into the table whilst standing on her hind legs “So you didn’t try to cook us.” The red mare cringed. “If AJ believes you, so will I. But why in the holly hay-o-hollandaise did you throw me in the closet and left AJ on the cutting table?” She pressed her hooves harder as she leaned forward. “Please, don’t do that!” She gestured for her to sit down as she got on her hinds herself. “This is why you were down!” She gave the table a firm press to which it gave in, tilting the top to the side simultaneously as her face made a bitter frown. “These tables are awfully prone to tilting!” She then went onto describing in disturbing detail what happened in the dining hall followed on to what happened next… “I tried to get you upstairs but didn’t know how to get you up the stairs on my back. So, I put you in my pie lift and found some nice places in the kitchen.” She said as she trotted of fetch the kettle which has just about started to whistle. “I also baked an apple crumble here as an apology” “But what’s with the whole dull knife comment?” Rainbow squinted. “Do you know how F R U S T R A T I N G dull knifes are? Wielding one with hooves is already a job and a half and now imagine through how much flesh I go through for the lard alone for me puffs” She said only later noticing how much the other two mares have cringed, with the memory of the basement still fresh in their heads. “That’s fine and all, but why are you selling meat pies without telling to anypony?” AJ piped in. “Y’all know honesty is the best policy, ‘ah learned it the hard way a couple’o’times.” “Couldn’t agree more with you!” Extra Crispy said taking a sip. “But there is a difference between lying and not telling.” She smiled vaguely. Applejack gave a slight glare, but gestured to proceed… “Look, I am not hurting or poisoning anypony, I am not breaking the law and, whilst it is somewhat arguable, I am not doing anything immoral.” She leaned back on the chair. “So why I need to tell? Can’t I keep my trade secrets? After all, my savoury pies are nearly the best you can get in Trottingham; why should I throw it all away? I have been in the pie business for twenty years now and nopony complained.” “Ah’ see you point…” Applejack mused for a moment before shaking her head off. “But that doesn’t make it right.” “Well, look into what situation I am… Say I will announce it, I assume you have dedicated your life to apples, isn’t that right?” “Well yes…” “Consider this, you do use fertilizer to boost crops? Suppose you decided to use horseapples to boost the crop? Technically speaking, assuming you had no access to chicken, cow or any other nitrate would you consider this wrong?” “Well, when you put it like that no…” “Now imagine you were doing your business for as long as I do with no complaints coming from anypony, everyone is getting along happily until some Canterlot snob shows up and starts poking his horn all across your homestead.” Applejack quickly got a bad taste in her mouth as she remembered the few times she had the misfortune of dealing with nobles. “And then he goes flailing his hooves around threatening you to tell everyone just what kind of crop you are raising. Now, you know that the apples themselves would never come to within two yards from the stuff. You know that by the time harvest comes the manure would be all gone…” As the baker spoke Rainbow could feel something was off…, The way the red mare delivered her words, the way she gestured with her hooves…, something put her off… “…Those noblepones are nearly as bad as a the lot who provide me with gas…, It’s like the chairpony of the gasworks thinks she’s Celestia herself with how irregular her pricing is and if you don’t keep up with the rates being updated on a whim you get fined…” The chatter carried on to the mellow ticking of the clock and clatter of mugs. As pleasant as it was Rainbow was still a little restless as she caught an odd gleam in the eyes of Extra Crispy…. “…and before you know I had the knobheads from south metropolitan rail banging on my door; demanding I give them the secret. Honestly these train studs are as stiff as kippers, don’t you think?” “Damn tootin!” “Indeed, I have not seen this level of annoyance until you came in, no offence of course.” “None taken, Crispy” Applejack waved her hoof in dismissal. While rainbow still felt a little queasy… “Say, I have noticed you haven’t really had the chance to enjoy any of me savouries proper. How about a fresh meal for both of you? It is only five to six so there is plenty of time before I open.” “Well, that’s just dandy!” “Hang on here!” Rainbow Dash cut in. “You wouldn’t take even fish from a shop but all of a sudden you are craving pork?” “Well I…” Applejack thought over what she was just talking about. “Ah don’t know…” The look on her face gradually morphed into a more displeased one. “Yeah…, why would I want one in the first place?” Rainbow Dash shot the scarlet pony a glare as the latter slowly retreated deeper into her seat with a flat face. Before Rainbow could say anything the baker raised her hoof to bring attention. “Ok, you have caught me in the act…, I admit I thought I might swing this one… but I swear to Celestia that I weren’t doing anything funny! Before you say anything I would like you to pay a close attention to my cutie mark” The baker gestured to her rump after getting of the seat. A quill drawing a heart crossed over with a blood soaked dagger. “I have a bloody good talent when it comes to coercion.” “Coercion?” “I make pretty convincing arguments on my party, talking in and out of situations. It’s what allowed me go through my daily life with relative ease. Do you honestly think running this operation is easy with me importing all my meats from Griffinstone on the quiet whilst also selling pies in the day and nitrates in the night?” She then looked at Applejack. “By the way, if you are interested only four bits a pound… but for you I’ll make it two-fifty. Does miracles on the crop.” Apllejack raised an eyebrow to this. “Sorry, forced habit” The red mare turned an even deeper shade of red. “Why meat though?” Rainbow pondered. If you’re THAT good at haggling you don’t need no dumb gimmicks.” “Well… It is something I got used to…” Her head was down. “When I was a filly my parents were very poor when it came to the money. We had a small shop near the chemical plant but when I was around five the plant closed and we lost a considerable amount of customers.” She eased in her seat as she recounted the events further. “Thankfully we owned the building whilst coal, at the time at least, was cheaper than stone so we didn’t need to worry about that, but one of the things that was rather worrying was food. And so around four years since closure, or when I was nine, was when we were hit the hardest because the bottle plant nearby shut for renovations: Those were the toughest times we have faced in my memory.” “One day I was trotting back home from school when I saw a pair of teen Gryphons climbing a house with longbows on their backs. Being curious I asked them what are doing with bows. To which they have both smiled and said that they have been on a hunt form some dinner. Having told me it being a tradition from where they came from.” “Knowing that my cupboards were of such state that the house rats were on the brink of suicide I have willingly accepted to join them.” “What I thought they would be doing was stealing apples from the gardens of some high-hat, what I did not expect was them going for the pigeons. Whilst I was revolted at first I did not let it show.” “The hunt went well, as they have put it, so they have gave me two birds for snacks. I couldn't stomach telling them that ponies don't eat meat and so I hauled them home. As I have arrived I have noticed that there was nothing to make pies with... Begrudgingly I have proceeded to dress the pigeon in the back garden, following the same logic as you would when dressing a fish. Guts, bones, all went into the bin. Following which I have stuffed it into some bread dough and baked it....” “To my surprise it came out alright. One pie I had for myself and the other two I have gave to my parents. They were confused at first bt I explained it off as a different type of fish. After filling up their stomachs well I have discovered an opportunity…” “I was in the same spot the next day after school, this time I have brought a spare sack, a makeshift spear and servile knifes which I concealed in my school sack. The Gryphons both welcomed me and we became partners in our hunt. Soon the pies went on the shelf under the condition that only I was allowed to make them, whilst perfecting the recipe-the fat I managed to trim off came handy to make the new pies in shortcrust pastry, some vegetables were added for taste… it was going as smooth as butter until the constables caught wind… We had our best haul ever too… Apparently he thought we were stealing city property. The gryphons might have been angered but woolthroat me was LIVID. I have immediately told him what I think of him, the town and the lot and the works. I was S E E T H I N G at him. Bear in mind, I did half my work in very intimate proximity so let’s say my coat colour is not the right shade of red to hide certain things. So, he backed out. We continued hunting on since then… but I that day I felt EMPOWERED!” She said as leaned in to pour herself another cup of tea. “So, your parents had nothing to say about it?” “Well, they knew that I did dreamt to carry the craft onwards and my pigeon pies were bringing them a steady source of income as the word spread, no pigeons mentioned of course. So my parents thought it was best to let me keep at it…” “And you have got away with scaring away the police?” “I did, let me get to that later… So I was carrying on for another week or so until I was called to the headmaster’s office to discuss what I am doing in the afterhours. I told him I was just having a stroll with some friends of mine, he told me my homework wasn’t the greatest but I told I was playing the long term game and for what I was aiming for I did not need an A in geography and I was NOT interested in agricultural studies tagged on by the EEA. But in the middle of my discussions I smelled a rat-I think the constable snitched to him as he demanded I should have my bags expected. I knew I violated servile school policies then but, almost miraculously I managed to play it cool… “ "So I handed him over my bag which in fact packed a stash worthy of a Royal Guard’s kitbag. I immediately understood that I could not push him over like I did with the police so I played my other card. But I knew I had a pretty good reputation with the staff as a kind, lovable and dare I say pitiable (thanks to my voice and money situation) filly. I immediately confessed to him of me having to slaughter a dozen of pigeons a day to keep myself and my family fed. And I prayed and begged on my knees not to tell anyone about what I need to go through on a daily basis or else I will be all mane and ribs.” “His face was priceless… He went into a discussion about bringing blades into school but he said he will sweep everything under the rug as long as I promise that I will not be bringing any more knifes into the school premises. Saying that he never thought of me as a bully so he will let it slide.” “I pranced out of the office like a hobo into a salt warehouse. And this is the day that I got my cutie mark. A feather for the soft speak and a dagger for threats.” “As the plant re-opened I eventually quit it with the pigeon pies, I still kept in touch with Glaive and Gladius as old partners in craft who later on opened a small butchers in some borough where there was a large gryphon community. My parents eventually moved to Vanhoofer where there was less competition but I was determined to make it in here knowing that I have quite the ace among my possessions.” “The two feathered friends of mine loved the idea and got me in touch with their supplier: I knew well how to butcher the carcasses and what bits and pieces I can save and such. So the meat pies were back on the table.” “Thanks to my special skills I managed to make just about everyone point their muzzle away from my operations. I later on sold the old shop to get myself this one where I work to this day for about twenty years now. And since nopony sells pies you can get here my business is secure as a safe in a vault in a keep” She said proudly putting the mug down. “I will never have to live in poverty again and my parent’s retirement plan is fully realised. What more a mare could want?” Extra Crispy got off her chair and went further on whilst trotting around the two mares whom were still seated. “Take a look at you both…, I might not be well read in the current events but I did find out a few things about you two when asking some of my customers for pies and nitrates. Miss Rainbow Dash here is one of the more celebrated wonderbolts known-which is not something I expect most ponies won’t brag about every five seconds. The fact that you don’t brag is worthy to brag about.” “And young mistress Applejack here carries the legacy of the Apple family. One of the oldest earth pony clans as well as tends on the only farm in Equestria to offer the ever-so scrumptious Zap Apples. Your family brings something to the table that you can’t get from anypony else. Doesn’t that sound familiar? We both offer something unique to the pony folk that nopony else can offer. But look at me, I am a just a humble mare with a broken voice who is not interested in family connections that can spur up entire towns. Is being a queen of pie that much to ask?" The room has remained, with the exception of the clock ticking in the background, silent for a good three minutes. It was later that Applejack decided to intervene. “The way you said it sounds like there is nothing more to life than money and achievement.” Applejack pondered. “That is not exactly right you know…” “Why would that be the case? I have the right to choose what I find important and as long as nopony gets hurt I don’t see any problems.” “Yeah? But what about friends and family? Surely you can’t put money before family…” “Faust forbid!” The baker expressed a frown. “One of the main reasons I save up so much is to make sure my parents can have a graceful retirement.” "And what about friends?" Applejack wouldn't quit. "You do know that good friends are akin to a second family?" “I will have you know that I still have Glaive and Gladius…” “And when was the last time you talked to them?” “Well I…,” The baker stuttered as she thought over when WAS the last time she had seen her two childhood partners… “I don’t know to be terribly honest” “But’ye can’t live like that!” Applejack waved her hooves in frustration and pity. “If’ye obsess wit’ nuthin’ but bits you will just become the greedy griff from one of Al Trotson’s shows!” “I can’t belive we had to use that reference…” Rainbow Dash wondered as Applejack continued with her tantrum. “Yes, Ah’ sure have enough bits to make Diamond Tiara eat ‘er namesake, whichIwouldn’tdosincesheishaschangedforthebetterbutthat’sbesidethepoint…” “Now you’re channeling your inner pinkie?” Rainbow wondered further. “But the only realy reason to save bits is to help your family! And friends are much akin to family, I have Rainbow here, Rarity, Twi and even Discord! Speakin’o’family I might not be on a lookout yet but my big brother Mac is only a few months from proposin’. Your romanic life has probably never existed and never will! Yeah ‘ye have your parents but ah’ ain’t sure for how much longer will you have ‘em. I know for how long ‘ah did! But you can’t appreciate it even if ye’ thik you can. Not only you will spend your entire life with an empty crib but you will have nopony to appreciate what makes you happy, nopony to comfort you when you are sad and worse still there will be nopony to see you off to your deathbed.” Applejack has stopped to take a breather while Crispy had her metaphorical cogs going tick-tick-tick everso faster in her head while Rainbow, for the first time ever, felt genuinely sorry for the baker, covering her back with her left wing; trying to soothe what was under her hide. “Ahm’sorry Crisp, but I am just bein’ honest.” “No, no it is perfectly fine…," she has inhaled slowy... "I think I see what you mean…, I do need to give my two only friends a visit, if they are still in town. As well as that I will have to announce to my patrons what exacty is going into theor pies. Even if I loose my shop I should still maintain a happy life for as much as I have left of it.” This time it was the turn for Applejack to feel sorry again. “Look here Crispy…, I am sorry to go this hard on you but you need to understand that I only want what’s best for you. And it doesn’t help that you are butchering my hogs here… that didn’t help at all…” She then tried to comofort the baker... "And you don't look that old..., what are you now? 40?" “That’s impossible…” Extra Crispy mumbled as she was assessing the weight of the situation. “My meat is purely Griffinstone imports, noting ever comes over from inside Equestria." She sniffed, "And I am 36..." “What do you mean?” Applejack wondered as she pulled out a copy of the invoice form her hat… “Here…, the hogs were Delivered to Trottingham, Saltlick Street unit N 13” The baker took the sheet for inspectin to which she replied… “Sweetie” She held the document out to Applejack. “This says S A L T L I C K E R’S S T R E E T. It’s on the other side of the city altogether. And it’s an animal acrobatics circus…” Time has passed… the two ponies left to see wat was going on in the circus as Extra Crispy has gathered herself together for the eventual reveal she committed to as ten o’clock has ticked over and her shop was open. Many ponies have come around as she put on her best Sunday dress and stood on top of the counter with no food ready for the folk. Eventually when the number of confused patrons ticked over two dozen she made the announcement of the decade. “Before I serve anypony I think it is best I clarify one very important details the pies here are made with pig meat and lard.” > Bonus (and some future lore) > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Extra Crispy sat on a stool behind the counter, looking over a family of customers. Oddly enough a lot of her fears did not come true; around half of her customer base was still more than willing to come to her shop for their plateful of pie and mash. However this was smoothed out by the fact that there was now a considerable amount of griffons coming over to her caf' for dinner after work or as a trip with their families. As of now she was making the perfect amount of money to keep herself fed and the shop running with a little bit extra on good days. But she did not care about that. Having reconsidered her life’s choices she now spent a lot more time trying to socialise with her customers in hopes of finding a few more friends. The words from the two Ponyvillians still singing in her memory: “Not only you will spend your entire life with an empty crib but you will have nopony to appreciate what makes you happy, nopony to comfort you when you are sad and worse still there will be nopony to see you off to your deathbed.” Much to her pleasant surprise both Gladius and Glaive were still in town and remembered her fairly well andin good light. Reconnecting over with the two was as sweet as she could ever imagine it. Pleasant memories of the past were generously washed over in generous quantity of tea and cucumber sandwiches. Turns out they have both married a decade ago-their shop singing with the scratching of little talons. Nonetheless, they have both decided that it would be best for both of them to stay here as they have been partners for long time know and it saved then a great deal on rent. Their wives did not object so they did. Hearing on what Crispy had done in her shop they have both appreciated her decision saying that the main reason they have ditched Griffinstone was the toxic attitude everygriff had there when it came to bits. Upon hearing how many bits she had managed to save up they were both impressed with Glaive latter adding: “If that old geezer Gruff is still alive; he sure wouldn’t be after hearing about you Crisp. He’d have a stroke for sure!” The other shared his opinion. Back in her shop she was now spending a lot more time talking to her customers which she had now thanks to the fact that she was not as busy… Turns out a lot of ponies really respected her willingness to explore the cuisine a little more, often replying how the pony culture has been overly stagnant for quite the considerable amount of time and that her “Trottingham” pies were still the best in Trottingham. She did hear of some of her old customers being outrgaed as well as news of the mayor trying to ban the imports of pig carcases into the region but that did not go anywhere. She even considered putting pigeon pies back on the menu but eventually decided that despite her "better" relationship with her customer base she now had quite a public image so it would be best to avoid anything that can be considered further unethical. Furthermore to her own surprise, for the first time ever, she had received some letters asking if she has room to hire an apprentice which was a particularly pleasant bit of news. There were only two more things left… One was writing a letter to her parents about what has happened. Not only she has kept them in the dark about what she has been putting in her pies but she also hasn’t wrote to them in good three years now,which she had to ammend.... “Thanks for the dinner Crispy! Have a good one!” A voice interrupted her train of thought as a family of pegasi was leaving the hall… “Oh, shears! Shears!” She waved back at them as they were leaving only to stop in the doorway looking somewhat confused. “Shears?” The mother of the group asked. “I meanth C H E E R S!” Extra Crispy said, painstakingly annunciating the last word. Although getting new friends was nice having to talk more proved a lot more tiresome than it would usually be. ON the bright note if you talk with them for long enough they would generally get used to it…. “Oh sorry Crisp. Cheers to you too!” They left, leaving the shop empty as she was back considering the other aspect. The empty crib aspect. She did not know from which angle to approach the issue. On one hoof she never fell in love even once in all of her thirty-six years of life and if she does find a good apprentice, and there were servile applications on her desk right now, she didn’t need to worry about her craft dying out with her. On the other those little chicks the two butchers had were lovely. And when she was little she did always want a little sister or a brother: something her parents never gave her no matter how much she nagged… Extra Crispy went upstairs for a gaze through the window… Out of it she could catch the tips of the masts from various ships that go into and out of the harbour. She heard some sort of a new ship was completed in Baltimare and was arriving in Trottingham for a show of flag. Understandibly this drew a lot of ponies into the docks, although she couldn’t quite catch the glimpse of it… Thinking about it again the earth pony baker became a little upset as she considered what future there was for her. Looking behind her she had servile drawers and chests full of bits. (she never trusted the banks and thus kept her money at home since Equestrian bits never went down in value) She was sorted for servile times over, and she had her shop and she had friends as well, but one aspect of her life was left lacking. Still, she thought, perhaps it is for the better. Was a coltfried really that important as other mares make it out to be? And furthermore what are the chances she won’t get scammed out of all her precious bits or be distracted form the few friends she managed to have? Better not be a silly pony and rush things because of some continental farmer’s grunts. As she looked out of the window one of the clippers moved out of sight and she thought that this must have been the new vessel. And, despite the fact she could only see the masts and funnels, she was in awe… The ship was a steamer with three stacks coughing up a lot of soot into the sky. The only two masts it had, holding the banners of the two sisters, lacked any sort of sail. Instead the aft mast only had the flag and curiously a little wooden shack under where the sails should have been. The foremast appeared to be a tripod with wooden platforms and a bigger shack atop it… and looking at the distance between the masts the thing must have been at least four or five hundred hooves in length making it truly massive. But as she was staring at it she could catch the sound a bell going off downstairs-customer! She dashed down like a weatherpony on storm Friday and hit the counter like a battering ram. “Helloo! I amh the Slitherin Sclarhleth Pie Mare of Shaltlikh Shreet! Welkome to my pie shoph!” “Good Afternoon to you as well, pie mare.” A grey unicorn who she did not recall seeing before replied. "My name would be Coal Jacky Pudding, I heard you sell Griffinstone food here?” “No?” She said feeling a little confused. “I only shell pie an mash” “But I heard that you sell Griffinstone inspired pies? I heard you have pies like you can't get anywhere?" “Oh, of courshe!” She cheered up finally understanding what he meant. “You woulth likhe some of my Thotingham pie? That has meath.” “Well yes!” He lit up in anticipation. “As soon as I heard my home town has meat on sale I was in a hurry to get some.” “Yhe came to the reicht place!” She said opening the hot cabinet, pulling out one hefty piece of pastry out of it, filling her nostrils with the ever so familiar smell. “I do hapfen to be the onlee pony in Thotingham to sell meath pies.” “Well that would be music to my years!” The stallion smiled, I’ll take two with one side of mash and one mug of tea please.” “Here you gho…” The scarlet mare passed the plate over the counter, the chunky unicorn took the seat by the window and proceeded to dig in…” “Have I known you pie was this good, I would have come here ages ago…” He said after taking a few bites, following that with a quick lick of the mashed spuds. “And the side is splendid too, how come I only hear of this place now?” Crispy proceeded to tell him the same story she told a while back as well as the abridged version of what happened yesterday, leaving out the names of the two mares she had deal with as well as the heartburning spew she received from Applejack. Despite the fact that she did not budge before getting a stern verbal thrashing she would sooner eat her own socks (and she really liked her socks) before she would throw away her strong-willed, seasoned businesspone, every inch a Trottinghammer image. The unicorn listened with enthusiasm as he dug into his meal, eventually he also noticed that Crispy was seemingly sounding a bit smoother as she talked on and on. He could still hear all the distortion loud and clear but there was no longer any confusion with what she was saying, making it a lot easier to join her in her story. After finishing the tale right as Coal Pudding has finished his meal he stretched his hooves on the table and grinned. “I can definitely relate to that…, in my business I also have to face with a lot of resistance, thoug mine is no way near as sneaky as your ever was, quite the contrary” “Really? What is it that you practice in then?” The baker wondered, leaning in to listen better. Her voice was still odd but for some reason he could no longer pick out misplaced letters, not that it mattered since Coal Pudding did most of the talking now. “I run a steamworks in Northeast-End, it’s a pretty profitable organisation and something I have a genuine passion for, so you think my life would be paradise but instead I can’t help but notice that fellow ponies don’t seem to appreciate steam power as much as they ought to…” “What do you mean by that?” The earth pony was noticeably surprised. “I can’t walk for a quater of a mile without seeing smoke in the air and just about every city has a railroad connection going out it…, surely that would be enough for most ponies?” “Well this is precisely what I meant, you understand the benefit of what modern engineering is offering. But you don’t see what it CAN offer…” “Elaborate on that…” The crimson mare pondered, putting down the mug she was wiping. “Have you ever been to any other Equestrian town or city besides Trottingham that isn’t Baltimare or Manehattan?” Crispy shook her head to that. “Well, the fact is there is nearly no manufacturing present in Equestria outside of the “soot belt” that we are fortunate enough to live in… Take a trip to Ponyvile, Las Pegasus or even Canterlot and you will see a very different Equestria.” The unicorn took a look around the room until he locked onto his target of choice. “I think I have just found my example, I see you have gas lighting here? You do like them?” “Well of course I am quite fond of my lights, it is a lot more convenient and brighter than whale oil or candles we had when I was younger… These really lit up a room.” “Why don’t you use electric lights instead? They never soot, you don't need starters and room doesn't get as hot in the summer?" “Oh sure, but those cost an absolute fortune!” She dismissed the notion. “I know the hospital and the town hall has those but I don’t know anypony who uses one at home.” “Well what if I tell you, if you wanted to you could make electric lights cheaper than gas… or that in some places it is already a reality" “I am not sure how..., but you’re the engineer so go on…” “A typical induction bulb, let’s ignore ark and mercury-vapour lamps for now, produces the equivalent of 114 candles worth of light for sixty watts of power. A good triple expansion industrial steam engine can produce an estimate of two thousand seven hundred steady-pony power or approximately 1700 kilowatts of electrical energy; the generation is about 95% efficient on a modern equestrian generator. To produce that much kinetic energy, assuming you know what you doing when setting up your boiler, you need to burn seven times of that energy. However that can be reduced to five or even four.” “With gas you don’t need to run any engines what so ever, but gas is made from coal-with coal. I will not get into detail since I don’t know much about gas generation other than you are cooking coal and then gathering the hydrocarbon rich exhaust.” “So you are telling me that I am just using coal at the end of the day every time I run my ovens?” “Well not quite, you do know that you are getting a lot more convenience when using gas. Back to the lights, let me tell you that as of present day-for every candle worth energy of light produced per a given amount of coal from gas you COULD be getting approximately ten candles worth of light for the same amount of fuel consumed”. He finished, floating a piece of tissue to wipe his forehead. "Which is why gas lighting is already obsolete in Manehattan as costs five times as much there with gas being about the same price as it is here." “Why is it so expensive then?” The mare asked to which the unicorn was more than keen to reply… “Because the Equestrian society is horrendously backwards for reasons that are misguided at best.” He said now noticing that his tea that came with the meal went cold. “We could have reliable affordable electric network in Trottingham and the rest of Equestria but thanks to various bits of local law that is not a possibility. They already have a very robust electric network in Manehattan, as Imeantioned earlier, there every building is lit by electricity as well as provided with sockets for domestic use. The electric companies in Trottingham are about as competent as a parasprite would be in charge of a food bank. Canter’s and Sons relies on old low pressure pump engines and kettle boilers bought over from defunct mines, Trottingham Direct has good modern engines but it’s all useless since they use locomotive boilers, altogether making it about ten percent efficient. They also use Direct Current which I am not a professional electrician but even I know that you can’t transmit it across long distances very well, which is why they have servile small stations and steam engines work better when they are scaled up, hence the low efficiency. But who I hate the most is East Side Gas and Electric… do you happen to get your gas from them?” “No, I get mine from Lady Glasshooves Gasworks…," The unicorn wheezed, much to the mare’s confusion…, “Lady… Glasshooves… Gasworks…” He slowly exhaled and then changed his voice to sound more feminine… “Well yes, I am the cahirpony of the Glashooves Gasworks. Please consider switching to us, the most reliable gas service in all off Trottingham, with our no cut-off guarantee. Don’t be put off by the fact that I actually enjoy having my gas cut off… It’s because I like BBQ.” “Well I heard East Side is inconsistent with their supplies…” The baker said feeling quite confused… “So that no cut-off guarantee is really good despite how inconsistent their rates are and how arrogant Lady Glasshooves often is…” “Well there is a good reason for the cut offs, they have the most efficient and clean power station in Trottingham, which got them servile awards from the weatherpony union… as well as good publicity BUT, there is a caveat that everypony seem to overlook. Their electricity is gas generated. But its gas they made themselves, from coal, on a separate site which also provides gas to consumers, thus often running their gasometers empty. “But why?” The mare asked feeling ultimately dumbfounded and quickly checking whenever or not her cutie mark is being stolen as she was bombarded with knowledge. “Well there are servile reasons, it could be the rewards and the public image associated with them or it could be the fact that they are trying to artificially make the price of electricity more expensive without violating the Cap on Excess Act, limiting the mark-up on electrical and gas generation, to preserve their contract on city lighting-which is gas operated. But Trottingham and Baltimare are lucky still to have a gas infrastructure, which is still a godsend for cooking and heating.” He said getting off the table and leaning against the counter. “Most of Equestria doesn’t even have that…” “So you can’t get cooking gas in Ponyvile?” The mare questioned, scratching her head. “Not in Ponyvile, Hope Hollow, Appleoosa, Las Pegasus, Van Hoofer,Dodge Junction or Canterlot…, we have the means and the knowledge to industrialise the whole of Equestria but the nation’s industrial capability is mainly concentrated in these three cities… Sticking to our previous topic, most of Equestrian homes are still candlelit while the Canterlot nobility spends the night under gilded ethanol lamps. The hospitals DO have electric lights but do you know how they get electricity?” The unicorn grinned like a mad horse. “No?” "Point your horn at the lead acid battery and go to town. I tried that once but that would only got me an hour of light for twenty minutes of work. Which would be fine with me if not for the fact it was just my desk light and that I couldn't steadily hold a mug for a quarter of an hour after the ordeal." He winced at the memory whilst gently rubing the base of his horn. "The alternative would be stuffing you in a hamster wheel, would you like that as a keep earner?" "Of course not!" The shopkeeper winced in protest. "I wouldn't ever imagine myself doing something as mundane as that. I am not that used to repetitive work to begin with..." "Well too bad! I have seen ponies running pretty large food processing plants of the backs of earth ponies like you just to preserve that clean air! Because one extra funace will DEFINATELY give everypoby cancer overnight! Nevermid that the two of us are still alive! Or that my old stud got it once and after a couple of therapies he never heard of it again! But to have..." He made the saddest face that his bush eyebrows and doublechin would allow..." Soot.. *sob on my feathertips... *sob *sob... GET A LIFE!" "That must make running factories in there a real tartarus. I couldn't imagine placing a newspaper add for literal ponypower" She thought for a moment..., "But if you were to rotate your staff, maybe one hour in the well seven in the..." "Many do..., not that it helps since industrial output is pitiful in the mainland. Not only the existing factories are terribly choked by regulations but industrial zoning is also left scare, something about preserving small businesses from the ever-extending tentacles of big capital. I shall have them know that big capital is not the threat. Not that many of them are too clever to invest in new ventures anyway. I know Fancypants does, Luna is quite curious and despite what I said Lady Glashooves is a bit of a role model when it comes to that." The shopkeeper raised an eyebrow to that but kept listening. "Most of them are too busy sipping wine whilst wondering whenever they should spending the night playing snooker in the club or cello in the conservatory." "Accurate" The mare laughed at the image. "But won't you have to agree that you wouldn't want to ruin small shop when mass produced goods are so much cheaper..." "Haycakes! I have a very good friend who makes copperware and is also the village smith. Works mainly by himself with his adopted colt occasionally helping out. He even makes his own alloys, has a small crucible furnace he built himself. And for him business is doing well. The difference is that he has a more or less modern workshop with a press, a spinning lathe and a polishing wheel. He still lives in a half timbered house with a coal range and a kerosene lamp, he doesn't actually live in Trottingham but in a small village within the metropolitan area, but he is doing fine. In fact a lot of the jobs that will go are the jobs which either nopony wants, require overly specific talent sets, or fully mechanisisng the process will create competition with the existing plants. "Of course it would be! I can tell you once again that the reason I went with meat pies is because there is too much competition for traditional pies, I had to innovate! If it weren't for the fact there is a pie shop on every other block my parents would never move to Vanhoover and I'd never carry the meat pie forward." "Exactly, or you could have lowered your prices... no offence, your prices are pretty reasonable, but you get the point. We, the engineers, scored a small victory in Appleoosa where they decided to open a small one-lot industrial park as well as lift the smog laws in the region. About seven applications were placed on the lot but I did not expect Cheese Sandwich's gag factory to be the winner until I realised this is the only plant that doesn't compete with any of the big guys. And by the way that plant was a beauty to trot around during the grand opening, I had a contract with them for their boilers and Mr Sandwich and Sans Smirk are the dream team to run it for decades to come. Created a lot of new jobs too..." "So you have problems with finding contracts?" "Not anymore I don't, largely thanks to the battleship program there is now a growing need for producing more and more materials. I heard Philydelphia is about to abolish both the zoning and smog laws: patching up the hole in the East Coast Soot Belt, Dodge Junction is looking into getting a water powered cotton mill, Stalliongrad created a government trust to authorize rapid industrialization. So thanks to the Royal Equastian Navy driving up material and labour costs things are getting sorted. Not to mention all the new inventions are coming up like better optics, new engine designs, wireless-magicless telegraphy, new steels and alloys..., there are many small gifts which might make their ways into our homes down the line. And for me that, while I did not expect it to be, is the real victory." "An interesting way to phrase it...,did you manage to contribute anything to the project? You sound like you did?" "Nice to see that you noticed it, I did make a quite the noticeable contribution to the battleship effort. I am one of the two executive heads of the re-armament program. The other being my good mate Onion Breeze." "Really?" The mare squinted with a subtle, even a tad sarcastic grin. "You in charge of the whopper outside?" "That whopper is the THS Goliath; second ship of the Leviathan class. Six hundred hooves in length, twenty-one thousand tons displacement..." "Six hundred hooves length?" The baker questioned. "Why did you need to make it this long?" "Well, if you are closing soon I can always show her to you..., the ship is in the docks where we try to recruit some sailors." Extra Crispy looked at the clock, then outside through the tall windows of the dining hall and back on th clock again, technically it was only 5 o'clock whole two hours before closing. On the other hoof she really did not many ponies today mainly because of the accursed ship so she replied to the unicorn: "Sure, just let m switch of me gas, put away the leftovers and find me keys..." Having arrived in the dockyards Crispy was stunned, as she eyed the great gray giant perched on the velvety surface of the bay, dwarfing all the now insignificant brick shacks around it with its hull while the masts poked fun at the dockside cranes and picked fights with the many clippers and steamers. Trotting closer and closer to the iron castle the stallion eventually lead on to a gangplank-or in this case a gang ladder pointing up towards the deck. "It is good to see a pony who can appreciate beauty behind labour." Coal Pudding said as he was tried to help the baker up the stairs only to notice that she had no trouble so her rushed behind her to catch up. "The first one took us a lot of work..., not just getting it designed and build but digging through all the pish-posh and riff-raff the navy thrown at us." He thought about how he really needed to change his eating habits as he got to the deck. "Not as hard now but I fear we might have trouble getting the upgraded design through..." Upon the deck Crispy was thunderstruck by the imposing sight of four cannons staring her down from their iron towers backing a bridge the size of a block of flats on which a mast not much unlike that tower the Prench seem to like. Having been told the inns and outs of the vessel the sun came down right as they were exiting the engine room... The vessel was even more impressive on the inside than she could have ever imagined it from the outside. Crispy did remember very vividly how she once visiting an old museum ship that was on display when she was little. That however was nothing more than a vast empty space with rows and rows of bronze long guns on the lower decks, short iron carronades on the upper deck and hammocks amidst them. This ship had an awestriking collection of rooms each with a dedicated purpose. Dining rooms, recreation rooms, storerooms, coalbunkers and humble crew quarters stretched and dotted the hull under it's everencompassing layers of steel guarding every inch of the craft. A grand sight in itself but then they reached to one of the gun turrets guarded by a consort of marines which kindle let the two ponies in. The vast circular chamber had its walls lined with servile rows of chimera-sized arrowheads surrounding a centerpiece electric elevator; a far cry from her humble pie lift. Beneath her a similar chamber was located which instead held a blood chilling quantity of powder bags. While she was not allowed near the guns themselves he did show her the engine rooms which provoked a sizable debate, thankfully mainly concealed within the rows of pistons.... Mainly... "...you wouldn't understand, I really wanted to use turbines but the design is just not refined enough yet..., not only the blades keep creeping inside the engine overtime, the tolerances have to be super tight too since you can't really fix it with piston rings. But it is a huge pity we can't break twenty one knots so I do have my assistant running tests back in my workshop. Extra range and speed would be nice but reliability is more important." "Sure...," The mare said, giving up on the conversation. "But you have to admit I made some convincing arguments..., you said yourself why it would have been a better idea for it to use the Tur...Turd-nine engines, after all a revolutionary ship needs a revolutionary propulsion system, won't you say?" "I'd say my head hurts..."The stallion rubbed the back of his head. "You really are good at convincing other poines aren't you." "Oh sod it!" She waved it off... "If you know what you are doing I wouldn't get involved, I just wanted to understand your reasoning which is quite solid. For now I am just mocking about." She laughed... "Mocking about..." The stallion stared into the blue abyss ahead of him that was the Celestial Sea..., across it was Griffonstone and if he looked the other way he could just barely catch mainland Equestria under the glow of twilight where Baltimare was waiting for him... "Say..., I know you have a shop to run but I have a need of somepony who can help me out with procurement. I told you what the nobility can be like, having someone who can talk-up a big game would be really handy to have on-board..." He said as he opened the hatch they have just emerged from. Extra Crispy considered her options, on one hoof she still had a shop to run with the school holiday being just around the corner, thus expecting more customers, but on the other hoof she never had a genuine adventure in her life. Not the one where she hunted pigeons or dodged discovery of her secrets but the one where she genuinely made a difference to the lives of ponies and sticking it to those loudmouth Ponyvillians, despite the fact the were genuinely right, was so alluring..." "Did I mention the pay is also quite generous?" The unicorn added, which has tipped the scales... "Count me in."