Seeing the Light

by SilverStar7

A Complicated Conversation

The gears in Sunburst's head couldn't decide if they needed to grind to a halt or kick into overdrive as he attempted to process Starlight's question.

Of course, the prospect of being with Starlight as "more than just friends" was something that had been brought up multiple times in his life. A young colt and filly playing together all the time always sparked comments about how they were destined to be together, and even later in life, some who remembered that the two spent so much time together in their youth would note that.

In particular, there was Sunburst's mother. When trying to meddle in her son's dating life, she would make comments like, "Well, what about that little pink unicorn you used to do everything with when you were a foal?" His mother didn't even care about the fact that this little pink unicorn was the daughter of her old rival - the potential for grandfoals easily trumped that.

And it wasn't like Sunburst hadn't considered the idea himself. In fact, the conversation he'd evidently had in this universe about that subject was something that sounded vaguely familiar, in a sense.

After trying to bond with Starlight in Ponyville, Sunburst had clearly recognized the fact that the two of them weren't going to be able to be friends the same way they were when they were foals. And for a brief moment, he'd thought about the possibility of a more intimate relationship. It sort of made sense: the two did have plenty in common—at least at one point—but they had also changed a lot as they grew up. Trying to restart that friendship was always going to be a rocky road, as each of them tried to figure out how the other had changed. Dating would be an opportunity to get to know each other in a new context, free from the history of their foalhood friendship.

But when Sunburst had looked at his own life, he realized that he was in no position to be dating anypony—especially somepony from all the way in Ponyville. Long distance relationships were hard, and he was still trying to figure out what sort of role he would play in the Crystal Empire. Plus, it wasn't like he was a particularly successful stallion. Yes, he had a home, but it was hardly a place where he could raise a family.

Now just isn't the right time, he'd told himself. It was the same line he always said to his mother.

However, Starlight's question wasn't exactly asking about now. She was asking if he could ever see himself as more than just friends with her.

In his mind's eye, he saw the two of them walking together in Canterlot. He and Starlight wandered about and not caring where their hooves took them. The air grew cold, and he surrendered his cloak to her so she could stay warm. The pair then stepped down an empty side-street, and Starlight suddenly stole a kiss when she saw they were alone—a smile shone on her face, a blush grew on his cheeks. Sunburst reached out toward her, and toward the idea of his oldest friend becoming his best friend all over again as the two fell in love.

And in that moment, he realized how easy it was to get lost in such a daydream. It felt so simple in the now, but real life was so much more complicated than moonlight kisses on secluded sidewalks. Relationships came with so many challenges. He wasn't exactly husband material at this stage in his life, and if he was honest with himself, he wasn't sure how long it would take to get there.

He looked at Starlight. The mare was gently biting her lower lip and a bead of sweat was visible just to the left of her horn. She was hardly breathing. She was clearly even more anxious for Sunburst's answer than he was about giving it.

With a sigh, he answered honestly: "Maybe," he said.

Starlight's reaction was sudden. The look of anticipation on her face shifted to a muted one. Her withers fell. Her breath released. But her cheeks held onto their hint of red. "Oh... okay..." She mumbled her response.

Seeing that something was clearly wrong, Sunburst moved closer. He reached out a hoof toward her shoulder, but Starlight countered by taking a step back.

"I just don't feel that hungry anymore," she said. Starlight levitated her sandwich into the trash can at the end of the counter. "Have a good night."

Before Sunburst could react again, Starlight teleported out of the sight. He shook his head in disbelief. If the lessons earlier in the day hadn't been clear enough, this one proved it: honesty was not always the best policy.

---

After finishing his sandwich alone, Sunburst made his way back to his usual guest room. He was easily able to navigate in the dim, nighttime lights of the Palace. He had nodded to the couple of guards he saw with clear signs of recognition, and they did likewise to him. He and those particular guards had obviously never met before, and Sunburst knew that, but the guards didn't. And it was easy for Sunburst to pretend for those brief moments that he belonged here.

Between those experiences and his late night snack, Sunburst was beginning to feel almost at home here. It was only in brief stabs of guilt that he remembered he had stolen this Sunburst's life. He imagined what would happen if he convinced himself that nothing was amiss. What if he just believed that this was his universe, that he was the other Sunburst, and that he hadn't been banished here?

He knew that it would be hard for him, with how much he overthought things, but maybe it wouldn't. If the last few minutes were any indication, there was little here that would be able to rip him out of that delusion. Opening the door to his room, though, he saw the one thing that certainly would.

Twilight Sparkle was standing in front of his dresser, and looking into the mirror above it. When she turned at the sound of the door opening, Sunburst saw that her face was streaked with tears. Then, her eyes lit up, and a broad smile came upon her face. Twilight began to rush toward him, but after a few steps, she froze. The smile evaporated and she shook her head. "Right, sorry, I wasn't thinking. This was your room," Twilight wiped her eyes and started to approach the door again, this time quite slowly. "I'll go see if my old guest room is free."

However, instead of letting a mare that he had apparently upset just leave on him again, Sunburst moved to meet Twilight before she left the room. He reached out and put a hoof on her shoulder. "What's wrong?"

She shivered at his touch, but didn't back away. Twilight looked Sunburst in the eyes for a moment, then looked around the room and said, "This is our guest room. It's been that way for a while. And I've been so used to coming here at the end of the day when we visit my brother that I didn't remember it was my Sunburst's room first. Which obviously means that you were going to come here, so I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for," said Sunburst. "Everything you did makes sense. I just wanted to know why you were crying."

Twilight glanced back at the mirror. Sunburst followed her gaze and saw three pictures stuck to the mirror's edge. He had never put pictures there before, but it only took a moment for him to realize why the other version of himself had done so.

The first was a picture of he and Twilight, smiling together at an ancient looking library that he didn't recognize. The second, he and Twilight at what appeared to be the Grand Galloping Gala, dancing together. The third was clearly taken from behind some bushes, as blurry leaves framed the outside of the picture, but it was of Sunburst down on one knee, holding up a ring with his magic, and Twilight looking incredibly excited.

"Oh," was all Sunburst could say. He looked back at Twilight, who had started crying again.

"I know we're doing everything we can, but I'm so scared. What if we fail? What if my Sunburst is gone forever and I never have moments like those ever again?"

Sunburst wanted to assure Twilight that they were going to succeed. That in no time, she would have her Sunburst back, and that the two would get married and have foals and make so many memories together that Twilight could fill a library with all the photo albums. That everything would be right with the world by the time Celestia rose the sun again.

But he knew that wasn't a guarantee, and being honest kept getting him in trouble. Perhaps there was another way?

So Sunburst said, "Twilight, you are the most resourceful and magically gifted pony in Equestria. You rescued your friends from Tirek, you chased Starlight across time to save Equestria and reform her, and I saw you bring Stygian out of the Pony of Shadows with my own eyes. Every time the odds seemed insurmountable, and every time, you came through with flying colors. That first one, literally."

Twilight chuckled lightly at that. She stepped forward and gave Sunburst a hug. Sunburst returned it, and the two stood there for a while, resting in each other's arms.

"I know you can do this," he said, with far more confidence than he felt. He could feel Twilight nod, brushing her mane against his neck.

After a moment, Twilight straightened up and looked at him. "I'd better go get some sleep."

She moved to leave, but Sunburst held up a hoof.

"I'll go," he said. "This is your room. I can find someplace else."

Twilight opened her mouth to object, but stopped and nodded, gently smiling. Sunburst smiled back and turned to leave. But as he opened the door, he felt Twilight quickly lean in and plant a kiss on his cheek. Mouth agape, he looked back at her, and she said, simply, "Thanks."

"No problem," Sunburst said.

The two stood there for a few dozen heartbeats. Sunburst rubbed his cheek. Twilight smiled. Their eyes locked. Twilight bit her lip. Sunburst sighed.

"Good night."

"Sleep tight."

And Sunburst left.

Author's Note:

So 2022 has not been an easier year for writing than 2021. Apart from writing, my personal life has been doing well. I do want to write more, though.

I got out 4 chapters in 2021. There are still 4 more months to go in 2022. Let's see if I can finish the year strong.

Comments

[cogwheelbrain]

I think this universe's Starlight is completely hosed, I'm sorry to say.

[Comickook]

This chapter might have taken a while, but was very much worth the wait. Definitely appreciated the work that went into the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Really respected the effort that went into Sunburst's reflections on Starlight (including/especially the little flash images of a possible relationship with Starlight before awkwardly admitting to the other Starlight that he HAS considered the possibility (VERY MUCH feel for Starlight there). Also liked Sunburst reassuring the other Twilight concerning her frustration on not being able to bring her Sunburst back or get Main Sunburst back to his own universe.

Definitely looking forward to more of this.

[Xp45]

11342489
Sometimes that’s simply the way the wind blows. Knowing how Starlight is though, especially when it comes to emotions, I think it’s remarkable she’s “handling” that closing gate as well as she is. No mind control or fine travel or even explosions! Yet

[Fluffy_Wing]

Yikes the moment you started describing the pictures twilight was crying over was like a big super duper wrestle mania like upper cut in the gut, but THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATE! NO MATTER HOW LONG I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS STORY!

[Thyrrnatf]

Woo another chapter 😊

🤔🤔
I worry I little about starlight 😅

[Teikan]

honesty was not always the best policy.

HA, I understood

Perhaps there was another way?

say: we'll try again, if it doesn't work out we'll try again, then again, then again, then will die of old age. Although it's not an option for you, so just try again.

But as he opened the door, he felt Twilight quickly lean in and plant a kiss on his cheek. Mouth agape, he looked back at her, and she said, simply, "Thanks."

Hey, you've got a wedding on the line. it is not customary for a bride to kiss another stallion