Near and Far

by TheMareWhoSaysNi

Bubble Bubble Pop

"Here. It was my first day of High School.

And so, what? So, nothing! It's not the short holidays between the end of Junior High and Freshmen at High School that were going to change things. A student going to high school for the first time is nothing but a student from junior high thinking he's big shot now. People are superficial consumerists and invidualists. They would fight over the carcass of a rotten chicken if that meant they would have power. No one sees no one. Everything's always about the surface. Nothing else. I've found nothing to stimulate me. University will be the big deal because then, I'll be able to focus on what's really important. I have to tell myself that. If I don't, I won't do any endeavors. Although I didn't plan to do them plenty. I'm nothing but a Junior High thinking she's big shot now, after all."

***

It felt weird, this ability of time. It went by so slowly but when you looked back, everything was so elusive. Thinking these words, Soarin finally looked up at the blackboard. Their teacher was writing some complicated equation and explained the complete process of it. It was so boring. Yet, he pursued it, more because he was obliged to than because he liked that.

His parents, especially his father, exerted this famous pressure of wealthy families - he had to be the best everywhere and in everything. So he would go to a good university. So he would succeed his father. So he would make them proud. And allow them to boast a little, he thought, scratching the back of his ear with his pen. How could anyone love numbers?

His chest swelled. He sighed. Boredom again. It had only been a week since High School had started but boredom didn't care much about time. It was always ready to pop out at any moment, whether you were in High School or anywhere. Behind him, he sensed the muffled sound of a face slipping off a hand. It was almost imperceptible yet he could feel the vibrations.

When desks were assigned, by chance, Rainbow Dash had been placed behind him the way she was on the very first hour. They hadn't talked already yet, like two lonely hearts glad to be what they were.

He then heard her noding off on her table, before she got it together, her face still leaning against her palm. She was sleeping during classes, almost all the time, as soon as lunch break approached. A lot wondered how such a lazy girl could have been accepted in such a prestigious school as Crystal Prep.

After he explained how the equation on the blackboard had to be resolved, their teacher wrote a new one, based on the same system.

"Fine. Who wants to show me they understood?"

No one came forward. Soarin, although not particularly shy in front of a crowd, kept a low profile as well. He didn't want to get off his chair, except if he had to go to the bathroom. This was how interesting high school was to him.

"Nobody? Alright, then. I'm going to choose someone."

Sighs resounded from all over the room. Going to the blackboard was some kind of an ordeal for all of them. If they answered correctly, then good for them... But if they answered the wrong way, it could ruin a reputation. No one wanted to be called stupid in Crystal Prep. Their mathematics teacher opened a notebook with the names of the students on it. He was especially known for choosing those who were at the back of the room and unfortunately, Soarin was one of them.

"Why not, Miss Rainbow Dash? Who is it?"

Soarin didn't dare turning around, while the other students were. Was she still asleep?

Rainbow Dash slowly put her hand up. She had enough time to pretend she had been pursuing the lesson completely.

"Me?" she asked with a halfwit face.

She was putting on an act as well, it seemed obvious. But coming from her, it was part of one of her favorite trick which she called "hoodwinking the adults", and she was very much used to it.

"Yes, that's you," her teacher said. "It's written here that you were the best student of your former school. It's going to be very easy for you. Unless you had your grades cheating."

The students whistled of discontent but Rainbow Dash didn't seem to be disturbed by the comment. Sighing, she slowly walked to the blackboard. The weather was already hot during this month of April yet she constantly kept her jacket, her shirt almost buttoned-up to the collar, with her tie loosen at the max. Everybody wore their summer uniform. She didn't.

As she went through the aisle, girls were talking together, whispering. The news of her being her former school's smartest student came as a big surprise, especially so as, since the very first day of class, Rainbow Dash had not remarkably been active. She spent most of her time drowsing and yawning, eating gums, and she always put her things away before the bell rang.

She stopped in front of the blackboard, took a piece of shalk in her hands and stared at the equation for a short while.

"I bet the teacher's right and she cheated to get the best grades," Sunset Shimmer whispered to her friend on the next desk, in the front row.

Both girls giggled. They weren't really discreet and a part of the students from the front rows had heard her comment. So did Rainbow Dash. And she started to work...

Without a pause, she wrote a series of numbers and formulas on the blackboard, with a disconcerting speed. Sunset Shimmer's boasting smile melted from her face and all the students were now staring at her resolving the equation with a growing sense of suspense, as if they were hanging at each curves and each lines.

From behind his desk, Soarin held his breath. He already noticed her reading that French book, "The Second Sex", by Simone de Beauvoir. He knew there was something special about this girl.

In less than one minute, Rainbow Dash was done. She put down the chalk, rubbed her hands together and went back to her desk. A self-confident smiled had cracked her face and even her gait was now different. It was the gait of someone who was sure of her own abilities.

"Very good," their teacher replied, hiding his disbelief . "The answer's correct. Congratulations."

Instantly, Rainbow Dash could feel a curiosity about her growing from everywhere around. She quickly returned to her comatose state, enjoying this small satisfaction with a certain air of detachment.

**

The wind had changed direction... Since the previous day, it now blew in a brand new manner on Crystal Prep. For Rainbow Dash, at least. With the typical swiftness of rumors and gossips, the news finally reached all the classes of Freshmen and spread like a wildfire all over the school. There was a gifted girl in nineth grade. And she could feel it, students were looking at her differently.

No one whispered about her "argument" with Sunset Shimmer, about the way she wore her uniform, too heavy for spring. They didn't even talk about her hair anymore. From the moment her intellectual abilities had been known, her appearance no longer mattered. It was like a sort of prestige added to the sum.

When these students from Sophomore year approached Rainbow Dash in the schoolyard, her first desire had been to send them away. But a strange curiosity then pushed her to accept and she followed them in an isolated corner of the place. Maybe it really would be something new, not just like everywhere else. It wasn't any school, after all.

If those girls didn't seem to be the easy type, they absolutely didn't want to trap her. Seeing them taking refuge in a place where none of the teachers could see them could mistaken for a violent attack on that new girl that was a little bit too much of a show off. But appearances often were deceiving.

Yet, seeing them, Soarin felt the need to follow them, as unnoticed as possible, to make sure there would be ne trouble. Just because she seemed to be perfectly able to fight back when assaulted didn't mean she could be left to her own devices. What he saw, though, got a smile out of him that was half-amused and half-outraged. Some persons weren't scared of anything.

Crouched, a lollipop in her mouth, fronting the older girls with a detachment that was typical of her, Rainbow Dash didn't seem to be the least surprised when another one of the girls showed her a pile of papers with homeworks written on it.

"How much would you take for an essay?"

She took the hot pink candy out of her mouth, quickly licking her bottom lip to get rid of sugar and she looked closely at the papers. Indeed, it was nothing suprising and nothing new neither. In fact, she was very much used to it. It had been going on since her first day of Elementary school. As soon as people knew about her intelligence, they asked her to do their homeworks, first against candies, then against money.

"That's five dollars for an essay and but eight if the teacher's an a**hole."

"What about mathematics with it?"

"Twelve dollars for the essay and mathematics, but fifteen if the teacher's an a**hole."

"I'm on it for twelve, then," the Sophomore year girl said, putting another stack of papers on the first one.

"Cash first, dolly. No cash, no homework."

"Damn! You're tough, girl."

As if it were some poker stake, the oldest teenage girls put a banknote and coins on the stack of papers and Rainbow Dash hurried to slip the precious money under her shirt, directly into her bra.

Beside the student who she had just done a deal with, was another girl with a laconic attitude who couldn't stop staring at Rainbow Dash's hair. Her face cold and expressionless, she showed her head with her chin, franckly lacking energy.

"Is this natural? It's swell!"

"Yeah, I know that. I'm awesome, honey. Do you want something?"

She shook her head no without a word and her absence of spirit and alertness for anything almost would pass Rainbow Dash off as a girl that was always overwhelmed with joy and ardor, and she was the girl who smiled little and hated to show emotions out of pride, annoyance, boredrom or denigration.

The third girl finally expressed herself. If she wore the same uniform than all the other girls - a baby blue shirt, a knee-lenght pleated skirt, a black tie and matching blazers (optional) and jackets, there were scars on her face that were unmistakable. In the past, it had always been those who didn't look much who had been the worst rascals. Rainbow Dash knew it, the common-type was the one others had to be the most suspicious of.

"What about homeworks of mathematics if I give you a cigarette pack in addition?"

"Let's say three dollars plus cigarettes."

"Why are you asking less money for maths than for essays?" her very first partner of business asked.

"Because essays are boring and I hate them. Maths are applying a formula and nothing more. You know it by heart, you can do it. So... What do you think?"

"Yeah, I take that," the last student answered, putting another stack of papers and banknote at Rainbow Dash's feet, along with cigarettes.

Once again, the money quickly went into the young woman's bra. Not daring to interfere nor even to leave the place, Soarin had taken everything of this unexpected performance in. He knew this kind of skulldudgeries happened but he was far from thinking it also took place in Crystal Prep.

As they were arranging an appointment so that Rainbow Dash could give them their finished work, one of them, the laconic one, finally noticed someone was spying on them. The others weren't slow to notice it too and they leaped backward and quickly leaped on their feet. Rainbow Dash rose an eyebrow from surprise... The three students hurried to run away but she didn't even try.

She turned around to understand what made them flee... and a sigh escaped her lips. She seemed to be slightly annoyed to be caught red-handed, especially by someone from her own class. Bad luck! She was barely back to school and already involved in problems of public order and discipline.

The stick of her lollipop in her mouth, she quickly gathered all the stacks of papers before getting up, while Soarin took a few steps forward now that he was discovered. He could have left but... what he saw had piqued his curiosity.

What was he going to do? It was too late to turn back now and she couldn't deny everything. It would be too much of a bad faith. Now it remained only one choice - to face the consequences, whatever they would be.

"How long have you been there?"

"I've seen everything."

"Great. Now I suppose you're going to lecture me. Or to snitched everything to the Principal, maybe?"

"Nothing of all this."

In reality, she wasn't the person to blame. All she did was accepting an offer that was rather alluring, after all. They let her decide of the price, why not make the most of it? It wouldn't change anything to her own credits. It wasn't a favor for the three girls but she wasn't responsible for other students, neither. And denunciation never been his type.

However, her comment had got another smile out of him. So this was how she saw her fellow classmates? He was going to make her change her mind.

Rainbow Dash hurried to stuff her bag with the homeworks of her "clients", while chewing on the lollipop's stick, now devoid of its candy.

"I'm leaving, then... Hey, are you a smoker? I can sell you a packet for two dollars. It's a good deal."

She stretched out the packet she had just negotiated with the oldest student, shamelessly, although she knew he knew where her private little smuggling came from. He gently pushed her hand away and the packet with it.

"No, thanks. I don't smoke."

"Really? Shucks, I thought that would work. Well, no sweat. See you immediately in class."

"Yes."

He looked at her leaving her corner without the least apparent trace of remorse. Anyone would have been at least a little embarrassed but she hadn't. Not even for a second. The only thing that seemed to upset her was that he could have witnessed her schemes. And even this... Her annoyed face hadn't last that long. Her nerves towards him was a proof of how nothing seemed to unsettle her.

Rainbow Dash was a girl like he had never met before. She was playing with the big boys. Sometimes, almost childish, sometimes too much of a woman. She intrigued him beyond reason, always tickling his curiosity a bit more in a way that was different and new. It should have scared him but that wasn't the case. The more he discovered things about her, the more he wanted to know, to tear off the layers of paint to see what was really hiding under all the tricks. To be able to see her true face. The naked truth, as things really were.

***

"They say teenagers have things to say and only want to be heard. They want to speak, to express their opinions. I'd like to see that! I know no one of my age with a real desire to give their point of view about life. Yes, I'm not friends with people my age but that's the point. Let's take the three girls who I have to do homeworks for. An essay is a chance to finally tell the world how you feel. And instead of taking it, what do they do? They ask me to do the dirty work for them. Good example, congratulations! Where are all those revolutionaries gone, ready to fight in order to defend democracies and freedom of speech? They're now housewives and office workers asking us to be monochrome, good little soldiers in uniforms, ready to follow to the letter everything they're stuffing their heads with.

This is why we are a lost cause. How could we learn to express ourselves in a society that want us to be sheep, to have no other ambitions than cleaning houses, cooking and changing diapers? Of course, they'd rather want me to be their indentured slaves than trying to break the molds. Although Crystal Prep pretends what they want is to give us a place in said society, in the end, they're expecting us the become a window for everything conservative.

So, instead of saying what's their opinions about a topic, they delegate. Take action, we'll only duplicate your thoughts. Following traditions is always more comfortable than trying to make things change. I can figure out they have much more interesting things to do than discoursing... Hitting on silly Teddy Boys, hanging around in dinners, shopping with their parents' money.

Does it really matter? Does it really matter when you have the chance to live without being aware of how elusive things are?

They probably are thinking that just because I got ease, I have nothing else to do with my time than discoursing. Maybe they even envy my intellectual abilities. But don't fool yourself with illusions, sweeties! Nothing ever comes from above. Of course, it's easier for me to be on top but it's not a work of magic. I have to think, too. And I have to do things at least one time before I'm able to do them again. Miracles don't exist in real life, do they realize? Absolutely not. Yes, it's not a favor. If I were trying to do them a favor, we'd know. I don't really care about my own life so why would I have to care about theirs? I only do it for the money and because it helps me to fight boredom, as often.

I don't see why I should worry about the good or the bad consequences of my own decisions. The others don't give s**t about me, after all. When they do, it's because they want something. All the time. I never knew anyone who sincerely wanted to help me.

Well, in fact, there is. There's Applejack and Vinyl but it's different. We're bound to one another by death and tragedy. Except from them, even Windy doesn't really care about what I feel or go through. Or she would have noticed. But she doesn't and what happens in her own house is foreign to her.

As for the others... Apart from freak of intelligence, of the b*tch who never smiles and has rainbow hair, I'm nothing for them. Barely one more mean of entertainment, nothing else. When they'll be tried of talking behind my back, they would move on to something else. No one will care about me anymore. Thus, I'll disappear and nothing could testify for me that I've been a human being, thinking and breathing. It would be as if Rainbow Dash had been nothing but an illusion vanished away with the light of the sun.

The only nights when I know I'm alive are nights of pain, with a ferrous taste of blood.

I'm tired of everything...

Comments

[Midday Giggle]

Those last few lines gave me chills. What do you mean a taste of blood?

I love how both Soarin and Dash are just bored with life. Bored with everything. That I can relate to