A Historic Recap/The Chaos Priest
The Time of Harmony was a beautiful age, ruled over by the Four Princesses in harmony, as the world became a better place for the chaotic and harmonic beings. The Doppelgangers were supposedly changed to pastel bug-ponies, the spirit of Chaos had friends, and was peaceful.
Harmony reigned over the land of Equestria, with it's Champions bearing the Artifacts. Technology and Magic we're advancing rapidly, and even more beings were bonding with each other under the Twilight Princess. Nothing could stop them.
How little they knew, how wrong they were.
Historians, as rare as they are, disagree on how it started, but the spirit of Chaos flew into a great rage. The most common rumour was his favoured pony had died of old age, and that his chaos magic split him in two. The kind prankster that he was in the past faded, as the Unspoken, his rage consuming him, began unleashing ancient and chaotic races who were created during the Discordant Age. The greedy Purrsians, honourable Clockwork Ponies, Phoenix Wolves, and Sun Cats being the most common ones. These chaotic races were hunted down and sealed due to their tendency to serve the one who created them.
The Princesses, (Celestia of the Sun, Luna of the Moon, The Harbinger Of Love, and The Revealer Of Secrets), clashed with the trickster, not realizing that the faith of the chaotic races, who were released in the conflict, fed The Unspoken power beyond measure. For a year they fought until finally, they were able to stop the mad beast. It came at a great cost, however.
The five entities had used the last of their great power, and had a choice: die and be forgotten, or ascend to full godhood, being fed by their disciples. The answer was obvious to all of them, and they shed their mortal forms to rise and become legends. They could not guide the world if they were dead, after all.
A century passed, and the world became a dangerous place, with bandits and creatures of chaos ruling the wilds. Yet followers of the Entities remained, worshipping and plotting their return.
In one town, that of Compitales, a force for harmony sprung up, determined to help save the people, and stop threats to the fragile peace that has spread through the civilized world.
Temple of Chaos, 723AA(After Ascension)
The priest of Unspoken, a Phoenix Wolf with a grey mane, let out a low laugh at the four beings before him. “You believe that you can stop our ritual? You are exhausted and weak, while we hold the power of chaos itself in our grasp.”
A grey mare in silver full plate armour stepped forward, her sword held by flickering magic, and started to rise forward, letting out the battle cry “For the Moon Princess!”
Her efforts were futile, as a blast of chaos magic knocked her to the side.
“Rising!” A pixie-sized blue pony with translucent wings cried out, flying towards the paladin of the Moon. A pie formed out of thin air around the two, to protect them from further harm. As this happened, the remaining two beings, (a blue-coated Pegasus stallion with a steel-gray and orannge mane dressed in leather armour and holding a musket, and a cloaked cat with black wings holding a cane) looked to each other for a moment.
“Charged, you realize that our best hopes for victory are in that pie, right?” The cloaked figure hissed to the Pegasus, his wings gripping the cane tighter.
“Of course I know! But as soon as PeeBee makes sure Rising isn't dead, she'll be back and ready to pound him into dust! We just need to keep stalling until she's done!” With those words said, Charged took aim at the priest and let off a shot which ricocheted off a barrier which had sprung into existence as the two spoke. “I can’t shoot through that, Formsu. The shield has a taint of Chaos magic to it, and my bullets aren’t enchanted with Order. Rising could probably pierce it with her Luna-blessed sword, but we don’t know how well she’s doing right now.”
Formsu cursed and nodded. “You're the one with the potions, and I doubt you could reload fast enough to keep his attention for the time me and PeeBee need to heal Rising. When I charge, you run to them. We just need to trust that she’ll let down the pie and allow you to give Rising the potion.” Formsu’s wing twisted the cane slightly, and the body of it unfurled into a bladed edge. He crouched down, and drew in a breath, ready to leap at the cultist.
The cultist turned, noticing that the figure in the cloak was ready to pounce on him. He called up his unicorn magic to unleash a great fireball on the unsuspecting duo when a voice whispered into his mind.
“I have a better idea…..let my magic flow through you…I will deal with them”
The cultist grinned as he felt the rush of chaos flow through his being, a ritual circle of orange energy fading into being below his hooves.
Formsu jumped, wings flared and teeth bared. His blade, poised to strike through the barrier, shimmered faintly with a silver light. He was ready to collide with it and strike again when orange magic grabbed him out of the air.
“Not so fast, Purrsian.” A smooth voice whispered into the mind of the struggling cat-bird. “You really thought that you could just throw yourself at my servant and get away without consequences? Your little Breezie friend may have protected that moon-hag, but you and the gunstallion? You were just begging for us to have a little chat….”
The energy bonds forced Formsu to the ground, expanding to a cube over his prone body. It turns opaque, blocking his vision to the outside world. As a moment passes, the orange light turned to a sitting room, with the Draconequus spirit of Chaos in a chair beside him.
“Hello there, little kitty. So, you’re the Purrsian who decided to go against the chaos that created you. Odd, I know that after I created you, your ancestors swore fealty to me as an army of chaos. So, kitten, what changed with your species? Did some pony princess and pals zap you with the kindness rainbow of friendship as well?”
The Purrsian stared at the spirit of chaos in front of him. Gods appearing to mortals, especially those who opposed them, were EXTREMELY rare. This god, in particular, appearing this calm was rare as well. This combination of circumstances would not go well, he suspected.
“I...ah….the only Purrsian army would be their mercantile army….And what?”
“A shame. I could have used those winged cats. The whole ‘friendship is magic’ concept... Disgusting, really. Thinking that they can just charm someone into being buddy-buddy with you because they decide that they don’t enjoy what you are doing with your life.”
“Ponies don’t do that! They try to make you see it from their point of view, not shove their ideals down your throat!” the Purrsian yelled at the chaos spirit.
“Of course, of course. Because friendship isn’t manipulation on a grand scheme of letting your ideals trump the others. Well, I suppose it is of no matter. I was asked by my favourite child to get rid of you.”
“I don’t fear death!”
“Killing you would be a waste of good chaos. Temporal displacement, however…...let’s just say I know that you’re going to cause delicious chaos already. Tell the Sun-Hag that I said ‘potato.’”
With that, the unspoken snapped his talons, and the energy cage shattered. The ponies outside were blinded by a flash of light, while the Purrsian inside could only see darkness. When the brightness faded, there were only ponies in the chamber. A cane and a suit of leather armour laid bare on the epicentre of the explosion, is the only clue to the existence of the Purrsian that once was there.
Canterlot Gardens, 7 PLR(Pre Lunar Return)
It seemed like the darkest night of the year. The new moon hung bleak in the sky, the stars seemingly dimmed for the first new moon of the year. The soft glow of the City of Canterlot faded over the Castle Statue Gardens, where beings of great power were either immortalized or forgotten as creations of an inspired creator. Most ponies came only three times in their lives, as a filly or colt, to see the sights, or to bring their child. As such, it was rarely visited by the public, and only guarded until the time of night that the palace closed down. There was simply nobody insane enough to try and mess with the statues. Of course, that all went out the window when an unfamiliar white light blasted out from the statue of a draconequus laughing at the world.
When the light faded away, and the darkness returned to cover the gardens, a winged figure laid unconscious on the grass, the crescent-moon symbol of Luna pinned on the black cloak that covered him.
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For everyone that isn't L reading this, hi! I'm part of the RPG group with L and I wrote up the AU that L has based his AU on, this foreword hopefully helps explain some of the little nit-picks I'm about to mention.
Rising wears silver armour, last I checked at least.
magic knocked her to the side.
Pre Edit:
Charged is neither monochromatic, nor a mare.After Edit: Charged still isn't monochromatic.
This is fine, I want to use it to highlight the next piece of dialogue.
This is too long, it tries to fit too much information in and it is clunky as all heck.
When I said that it tries to get too much information across I'm talking about things like this 'The shield has a taint of Chaos magic to it, and my bullets aren't enchanted with order' and this 'Rising could probably pierce it with her Luna-blessed sword'. These are both important pieces of information, but they're delivered in a way that feels clunky.
It feels like you used too many words to me, unlike the first highlighted piece of dialogue, which feels more snappy and to the point.
This still exists, even after your first edit.
I look forward to reading (and tearing apart) the next chapter!