Welcome to Ponyvile
Judging by the position of the sun, I'd say its about noon. Witch was good cause i was hungry, and i had just made it to town. I waa about to go get some food when I realized a sad truth, I'm broke.
I came in the world with nothing, no money, no friends, not even a saddle bag.
So much for lunch.
I continued down the dirt path looking at all the houses when i recognized the large, shiny building in front of me, THE CASTLE OF FRIENDSHIP. Beside that was a group on ponies constructing another building. I looked around for anypony I knew, before long I found someone.
"Hey there, you new in town? Haven't seen you around before."
Starlight Glimmer, student of Twilight, former villain, talented magic user, the way I could describe her were endless.
"Yes I am, I'm from........" I paused, should I tell her now? I was hoping to come up with a fake place on the way over, or at least not reveal where i was from quite so soon
"From?" Starlight asked
"From up north"
"So like Crystal empire north or...?
"Not quite as far, I dont even think my hometown is even on the map" At least that was true
"Ok...so what's your name?
Now that I had prepared
"Muddy Marsh, but my friends call me M"
"Ok M, what brings you to Ponyvile?
I think to myself, what was the recent disaster again? OH right
"I heard of the storm king's defeat and wanted to talk with the ponies who accomplished such a task"
"Word travels fast I see" Starlight replied "Well Twilight isnt here right now but i can pass a message to her when she gets back
"Thanks, so what's everypony building here?"
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Those chapters are quite short.
One more thing: Colored dialogue is a big no-no in the world of storytelling. It makes things look rather messy. Trust me, I've done it myself once before, and I haven't done it since.
8891705
Im using it to tell witch character is talking
8891700
As for short chapters, im not the best at splitting up where they should end, so I stop when I think its a new scene
8891737
That's why you character-tag the dialogue by showing the actions of the characters that are about to speak.