Ashes

by SkyPone

Chapter 4: Void

Far from the escape into the forest, a dark silhouetted figure stood in the burning town square.

Bright purple flames burned brightly in the lenses of his armored mask. The tattered dark grey hood concealing his head ruffled from the small shock waves, his cloak of the same hue billowing fiercely behind him. A lesser pony would’ve flinched from the collapsing tower in the town square, but he stayed completely resolute. His attention was dead set on the pony floating before him, not even a falling building would distract him from his mission.

The stallion locked in his magical grip on the other hoof did notice the collapse. It made his incessant hollering increase. The black armored Unicorn would’ve crushed his throat then and there if it wasn’t for the potential information he possessed. The bandit clan was nothing less than utterly revolting, their leader reflected that quality tenfold. He was a filthy sight to behold. Matted blood red fur, a short unkempt mane of pale blond, and a broken in half horn.

How had this incessant fool, this traitor to the Unicorn race, been given any power whatsoever? If ponies in the wasteland were electing riff-raff like this, they deserved cleansing. The armored stallion tightened his magical grip, the dark violet aura surrounding the bandit leader tensing. He couldn’t believe a stallion in such a high position was screaming like a frightened foal woken from a nightmare. He’d had enough of it, the aura intensified around the mouth of the leader, snapping it shut.

“Be quiet. I’m not going to ask again. Where is she?” The deep voice that left the mask was cold and calculated, devoid of any warmth or emotion.

The bandit’s eyes were widened with absolute fear, if the aura wasn’t holding him completely rigid the stallion would be shaking uncontrollably. He loosened the pressure on his jaw, allowing for speech.

“I-I…I swear I don’t know about any unicorn broads coming into my town…Please don’t kill me, I didn’t do nothing I swear! Please!” The bandit begged in response, tears rapidly streaming down his face. His lip trembled, voice reduced to a shrill whine of panic and self-preservation.

Disgusting. The Unicorn guessed the scum could feel his piercing glare through the mask. Judging by his next words, that’s exactly what happened.

“We ain’t never done nothing to you ponies! We’re our own organization, I never seen anything like you before! I don’t have your mare!” He shouted at the Unicorn loudly, trying to weasel himself out any way he could.

The black armored stallion turned away from him, “There is nothing like us.” Before the fool could respond he was already dead. The leader of the bandits dropped to the ground with a soft thump.

He was a mere piece of garbage now, even the dirt he lie dead on was disgraced by his corpse’s touch. It was disappointing he had no information on the target, but fortunately, he wasn’t the only pony in this wretched place. A voice sounded beside him,

“Dark Matter, sir. We’ve rounded up all the ponies we could find and set fire to their shelters as ordered.” The stallion's tone carried a presence of discipline and a clear undertone of respect.

“Good commander, are there any standouts in this particular group?” Dark Matter replied, turning to face the heavily armored pony before him.

The commander’s armor was a stark contrast to Dark Matter’s. His armor was light and shrouded, like a shadow. He did not need the material protection, his power provided him more security than any armor ever could.

The commander wore enchanted plate, standard issue for his rank. His suit did not carry the same elegance or furnishing Dark Matter’s did. It was a different version of fear, the commander was an overwhelming force. The only part of him devoid of any protection was his horn, the symbol of a higher being.

The commander replied swiftly to the question, “Yes sir, one. He revealed to us he had met a pony matching the target.” His voice was filled with satisfaction, Dark Matter could hear a slight tinge of overconfidence.

“Do not automatically assume success, commander. May I remind you what kind of ponies we’re interrogating? They’d say anything just to save themselves. I assume the only reason their leader didn’t share this quality was his pride. Although if he had lied to me, his death would have been far more painful…” Dark Matter responded, eyes locked on the purple flames blazing before him, “Bring me to him.”

A small trip to the other side of the square put Dark Matter before a group of terrified ponies. On either side of them stood four guards, their armor was similar to the commander’s although less bulky. Although they wore no helmets, their expressions and mane styles were identical.

The only difference between them was their shade of fur, the tone of mane, and eye color. These soldiers were the pinnacle of elite Unicorn warrior, only surpassed by their superiors. They had the right amount of individuality to be distinguishable from one another, but their identical features showed their single mentality.

Two soldiers stood at the front of the group. Between them stood a nervous looking Earth Pony. Standing tall, his dark grey coat and black mane almost blended into the night. Dark Matter admired how he only showed that nervousness and not anything else.

He expected an Earth Pony to tremble in fear, to babble and plead for his life. This bandit was the opposite of his leader, in both race and disposition. Dark Matter saw in him the confidence and courage of a true leader. If he wasn’t an Earth Pony maybe he could've been indoctrinated into the ranks. It was too bad.

Dark Matter’s dark violet aura of magic surrounded the Earth Pony and picked him up, magical pressure lightly pushing at his throat. He could see beads of sweat starting to collect on his forehead. His icy blue eyes met Dark Matter’s mask and the confidence began to waver. The shadowy pony looked up at his new prey.

“I have heard that you may possess certain…Information.” Dark Matter studied his face intently, tilting his head ever so slightly. The Earth Pony ground his teeth together, letting out short and panicked breaths.

Luckily for Dark Matter, it looked like the stallion’s confidence was replaced by intense fear. That was the dark Unicorn’s greatest talent, breaking ponies to his will. It took thirty seconds for the Earth Pony to reply,

“I saw her, I-I had her…” Dark Matter gripped the Earth Pony more, putting intense pressure on his chest, “Ughnn..! She... She escaped..” He struggled out with great effort, closing his eyes. Dark Matter eased his magical grip, violet aura assuming a lighter hue.

“And…?” Dark Matter whispered, bringing the stallion down to eye level with him. The Earth Pony’s eyes remained closed, he started shaking his head and muttering to himself.

Dark Matter slowly increased the pressure of his aura again, “Start with your name.” He breathed out like a gust of icy wind.

The question seemed to take the Earth Pony by surprise. His eyes slowly opened again, although they avoided Dark Matter’s face mask like the burning sun.

“S-Slick…” He managed with a strained breath. He helplessly hovered as the image of Dark Matter’s emotionless mask bored into him like a ferocious bombardment.

Even though he couldn’t see his eyes, he could feel them piercing into his soul. The shadow spoke effortlessly again, an invisible hint of boredom in his voice mixed with the ever-present cold malice,

“So…Slick. How ironic it is that a virtually powerless mare slipped out of your grasp so easily…You see if you and your bandit friends had held onto her for a mere few hours longer you wouldn’t be here now. We would’ve simply taken her and left.” Dark Matter shrugged,

“Instead, here we are now standing in the ruins of the place you savages called home. Your leader lies dead on the ground all because of your incompetence. Slick.” He added the Earth Pony’s name at the end with a venomous jab.

Slick’s lip began to tremble as his eyes drifted behind Dark Matter, to the dead mass that was his boss lying by the collapsed tower. His eyes flicked back to the Unicorn’s mask, tears starting to flow freely,

“It wasn’t our fault! She..- She wasn’t alone!” Slick took a deep breath, “It..It had to be the Pegasus…” He whispered with a clear certainty.

“What…Pegasus?” Dark Matter spat the word like it was vile poison. The target was first been taken by an Earth Pony, now she was in the company of some Pegasus? The thought disgusted him to his core. He could feel his anger growing like a fatal tumor on his rational thinking.

“That’s a-all I know…I swear!” Slick’s voice cut his thought off. Dark Matter hated to being interrupted. The armored Unicorn stamped his hoof on the ground and lifted his head to face the Earth Pony once again.

“I admire your willingness to comply, the courage it must have taken to even confess to my commander. A very valuable trait indeed…” Dark Matter’s voice sounded a thousand times deeper.

The dark violet aura of his horn turned to pitch black as did the magical field around Slick. Dark black tendrils of energy slithered into his body. He could see Slick attempt a scream, all that came out of his mouth was a long string of silvery energy. It flowed into Dark Matter’s horn like a spindle unwinding, the more he absorbed the less of Slick existed.

The feeling was exhilarating, like a direct rush of power surging into Dark Matter’s soul. By the time he finished all that remained of the vile Earth Pony was a grey husk. He let it unceremoniously drop for the mass of ponies behind.

All they could manage were stifled sobs and hushed whimpers. Their eyes were filled with unbridled terror and complete hopelessness. Some weren’t even bandits, just ponies forced into servitude. He would free them.

“Commander, cleanse them all.” The officer didn’t hesitate to issue the order to the soldiers, within minutes the purging began. Dark Matter didn’t need to watch, this was standard procedure for anypony ineligible.

He simply observed the dancing purple flames reducing this already ruined place to ashes. The fires were beautiful, the result of a spell designed for the cause. The commander’s entrance into Dark Matter’s vision was all the confirmation he needed to know the task concluded,

“Remember commander, every single pony’s life is worth something to us... Whether it be service to our cause or pure power. Even the inferior races provide us with the means to perform the cleansing. Ponies are power. Their essences are the source of our strength.”

The officer nodded, if he wasn’t wearing a helmet he’d assume he was smiling, “It is never doubted my lord, the president will be pleased to know that the bandit clan has finally been eradicated.”

“The president will be disappointed in our lack of progress in finding the target. That is why he sent us to this place.” Dark Matter shot back icily. Luckily a new voice sounded loudly from the other end of the square.

“My lord, commander!” The voice of a scout called to them. The mare ran quickly toward them and stopped short of Dark Matter. The winded mare wore light leather armor matching the same hue as the other soldiers and goggles with glowing green lenses. She raised them to her forehead and bowed to both of her superiors.

“Sirs..” She panted heavily, “The target was spotted in the southern fields, at the edge of the Everfree Forest.”

Dark Matter perked up at the news as did the commander, “And?” He asked with expectancy.

The scout opened her mouth but looked at Dark Matter, seeming to realize who she was speaking to. She bit her lip hard, bowing her head this time in shame and fear,

“Sirs…They...Escaped.” She croaked out shakily, staring at the ground. The two superior ponies seemed to go silent for a long while.

The scout didn’t dare raise her head up until one of them spoke. She knew the consequences of delivering bad news, especially to Dark Matter. The young mare held onto the hope by some miracle she wouldn’t have to suffer them. It was Dark Matter who spoke first,

“You let the target escape with some… Inferior Pegasus.” The scout seemed surprised to hear of Dark Matter’s knowledge concerning the pony accompanying the target,

“Not only did they escape, they escaped into one of the most perilous places in all of Equestria…?” His voice sounded strained like a rope pulled tautly.

The scout did not reply with any words, only with a stifled grunt. She began to shake before the more powerful ponies, the full weight of her mistake setting in on her. Why did she have to deliver this news instead of the captain?

“Scout…” Dark Matter breathed almost silently, “Your squadron’s incompetent actions may have cost the president his most valuable prize. Fortunately for you, you do not lead. Unfortunately for you, you will be joining your comrades and I inside the forest at daybreak. Relay this order to your captain immediately, do you understand me?” He said in a cool calmness that would shake anypony to their core. If Dark Matter could take the mask off, she’d see pure anger personified in his face. Luckily for the scout, his face was the dark mask.

The scout nodded and turned tail back towards the south. She ran as fast as her hooves would take her. Dark Matter turned to the commander,

“Inform the president that we have located the target and that I will personally find her. Then clear the rubble and fire and start setting up the base camp.” Dark Matter said, turning and staring into the blazing fires once again,

“She will be ours again commander.” Dark Matter said almost as an afterthought.

The commander nodded and trotted away, Dark Matter could hear the soldiers standing guard assume formation and march with him. This left him in the center of the square with nothing but his mind to occupy him.

He knew where she was now, he could find her within a day. Dark Matter would return to the president with his Petal in his armored hooves. Everything would be right again. He looked down at the ground, staring through his mask’s dark tinted lenses. He remembered the last thing the president told him.

Failure is never an option in the Void Commission.

Comments

[EverfreePony]

8905642
You’re welcome! Sorry for taking so long to get back to you, things have been rather hectic here as well.

Alright, some basic bits about direct speech. It’s good to discern between speaking and non-speaking dialogue tags. The latter are also called ‘beats’.

When there is a speaking action present in the dialogue tag (said, replied, asked, commented etc.), the tag starts with lowercase letter (except for proper nouns and I). However, direct speech in such case cannot end with a period. A comma has to be in its place. (Question and exclamation marks, as well as ellipses—i.e. the three dots ..., which, by the way, always have to be three, no more, no less—are alright there as well.)

On the other hand, when the tag contains a non-speaking action (nodded, blushed, sighed etc.), the tag has to start with an uppercase letter and the direct speech cannot end with a comma. Period or other punctuation mark has to be there.

A few examples from the first and a half chapters:
Wrong:

“Sweetheart!” The smarter male called

Corrected:

“Sweetheart!” the smarter male called

Wrong:

Ugh, she’s going toward that abandoned store up on the right,” Said another male

Corrected:

Ugh, she’s going toward that abandoned store up on the right,” said another male

Wrong:

Sky could hear Spiker try to cut in,* “No Spiker, I, will go to the boss. Now get out of my face!”

Corrected:

Sky could hear Spiker try to cut in.* “No Spiker, I, will go to the boss. Now get out of my face!”

*notice the punctuation mark

However, there are far more direct speech constructs, notably those with a dialogue tag/beat wedged between two direct speeches. I’ll get to those soon as I’ve finished the second chapter.

[SkyPone]

8916612
Sorry it took so long to get back to you as well! Thanks for the advice on the corrections, I'll be sure to use them when the story gets back on track. It means a lot that you want to help me get better, and I'll take all the feedback I can get to help me improve. School has been pretty straining, so I'm putting off the next chapter until the 31st of May after everything is settled and Summer is in full swing.