Looks really interesting
You have my attention author
Well done

Well done 👍

8832053
Im glad that my story has your interests. This is my first time writing so I'm just seeing what works and what needs some work. But thank you very much for your comment, its appreciated.

8832122
I'm glad that you like it.

Interesting start I like it

Not enough to go by to make a like or dislike yet will wait for more. But good start non the less. Caught my attention since lightning master hasnt updated

Interesting idea, but it feels rushed and you should probably get an editor, but apart from that I am interested to see where this goes

8833945
Yeah I've never written a story before so this is all new to me. But I am going to make an effort to fix the problems and add more details to the story to make it have a more smooth flow to it.