The New Adventures of Carrot Top.

by Capitola

July 4th (part 2)

Carrot Top pushed her way through the mass of ponies, grumbling silently under her breath. She had known Pinkie had a lot of friends, but when she had said that everyone in town was her friend Carrot had dismissed it as a huge over exaggeration.

"How many bucking friends does one pony need?" Carrot Top asked no one in particular.

After what seemed like an hour of pushing and shoving and stepping on other ponies hooves, Carrot made it to Sugar Cube corner. Multicolored lights shone from the windows and the ground rumbled with the vibrations of music. Carrot had felt it blocks away, but the sheer ear splitting volume of it all still shocked her into silence. Pony after pony filed into Sugar Cube corner, while some stayed outside to talk and party. A fast movement caught her eye and she looked up to see a drunken pony hanging off the top of Sugar Cube Corner.

The stallion was hollering at the top of his lungs and taking slugs of cider in between. Then, with a final howl of drunken excitement, he jumped off the building and into the soft grass below. He laid there for a few seconds unmoving before he groggily stood back up and bowed at the applause the crowd was giving him.

"Oh, buck. Nope, not doing this," Carrot told herself. She turned to leave the crowded party, but before she could a massive wave of ponies charged forwards and into the house, carrying the screaming Carrot Top with them.

Once inside Carrot managed to get free from the crowd and ran as fast as she could to the nearest safe thing she could find, not minding that she was bumping ponies over as she went. She reached the table of drinks and let a small sigh of relief escape her lips. Suddenly the music got very quiet, and Carrot Top watched as a familiar Pink Pony climbed up onto a table and cleared her throat. A light flashed and a spotlight appeared around her.

"Hey, every pony! Thanks for coming to this super special party!" She yelled, receiving an equally loud yell from the whole crowd, minus one ginger pony. "So I know you ponies just wanna keep on partying, but before we all get back to the fun you've gotta meet the super special pony who this party is dedicated to!"

The hairs stood up on the back of Carrot's neck and a cold chill filled her body. She frantically looked for somewhere to hide as Pinkie continued to spell out the poor pony's doom.

"I just met her a few days ago, and let me tell you, she sure is super nice! At first she's all screamy and she passed out that one time, but hey! No ponies perfect!" The crowd roared in approval of this message while Carrot Top tried to squeeze underneath a particularly small coffee table.

"Put your hands together for my super good friend, CARROT TOP!"

The light whizzed around and landed on the backside of Carrot Top, who had managed to claw herself only halfway underneath the table before getting stuck. As the spotlight landed on her she froze, and the whole room fell silent as they stared at the backside of their new neighbor.

The silence was ended abruptly as Pinkie jumped into the limelight and grabbed Carrot Top by the tail, yanking her out from underneath her hiding place. She landed on her stomach with a thud, and Pinkie pushed her around to face the crowd of ponies.

"Say Hi!" Pinkie commanded in her usual cheery voice. Carrot Top didn't hear this, though. She couldn't hear anyone. She could only stare.

There are few things Carrot Top feared in life. She could handle storms, raging cattle, and once put down a bunny uprising single hoofedly. There were few things indeed that carrot Top was afraid of. Crowds, unfortunately, were one of them.

Pinkie nudged carrot with her hoof, bringing Carrot out of her fear induced comma. Thinking quickly, Pinkie made up an excuse.

"She's just sooooo excited to meet every pony that she can't think of what to say! Isn't that right, carrot?"

"Humina humina humina humina humina humina humina humina humina humina..." carrot top mumbled, her eyes still wide in fright. But at that moment a loud explosion distracted the room from carrot top.

"What in the hay was that?" Some pony from the crowd shrieked. Another pony ran to the window followed by a smaller crowd.

"Hey there are lights in the sky!"

"Lights!?"

"Yeah, fireworks!"

The crowd filed out of the building as quickly as they could, leaving Pinkie Pie and carrot top still inside. Carrot had regained some form of composure and sat next to Pinkie Pie, shaking slightly.

"What in the hay was that?" Carrot asked, turning to Pinkie for an answer. Carrot was surprised at the look on her friends face. Instead of the usual happy grin that she had come to know, Pinkie's eyes were now narrowed slightly in a look of confusion and suspicion.

"That's funny," Pinkie said aloud. "Those aren't my fireworks ..." Pinkie grabbed Carrot top and dragged her outside. She looked around a few times before turning back to carrot top.

"I've gotta go find some things, I'll be right back." With that she ran off into the crowd. Carrot Top looked around, trying to figure out if she had passed out and was still lying in Sugar Cube Corner. Seeing Pinkie act so serious was...

"What in the hay is going on? I know she can't act silly all the time, but that was ... I've never seen her act like that before!" Carrot Top knew that she had known Pinkie for only a short time, but it still surprised her that there was a side to her giggly friend that she didn't know.

Another trail of light shot into the air, exploding over the town and showering off red and green sparks. More fireworks exploded overhead and the crowd, thinking that they were Pinkie's, began to 'ooh' and 'aah' at the amazing light spectacle. Even carrot Top had to admit that they brilliant flashes of light were pretty.

From out of nowhere the ground began to shake and open up right in the middle of the square. Ponies gasped in shock and awe at the spectacle. From the hole music began to play, but carrot could not recognize the song. The next thing she saw pushed all thoughts of music from her mind.

Rising from out of the hole was a giant wooden scaffold adorned with flags that featured white stars on a blue background and red and white stripes. The music reached its climax and the scaffold came to a stand still. From the top of massive structure came a loud voice, and it was then that carrot Top noticed the mint green pony standing on two legs.

"GREETINGS PONIES OF PONYVILLE! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE FIREWORKS SHOW!"

The green pony that stood atop the scaffold looked around with a huge grin on her face. She wore a large red, white and blue top hat and a big white beard. She also wore a cloak that matched the colors of her hat. The magic that came from her horn was wrapped around the microphone that was just beneath her mouth.

"MANY CENTURIES AGO, ON THIS VERY NIGHT, OTHER CREATURE, NOT UNLIKE YOU AND I CELEBRATED THE NIGHT WITH FIREWORKS!"

Carrot top looked around at all the other ponies in the crowd. While some of them remained smiling, most of the ponies had confused looks on their faces and were whispering back and forth to each other.

"I OF COURSE TALK OF THE MIGHTY HUMAN BEINGS! THE CREATURES OF LORE THAT HELD THE WORLD IN THEIR MIGHTY GRIP!"

"Dude, is that what this is all about?"

Carrot top turned to see a young pony with bright yellow fur and a black mane staring up at the monument with a large smile. The pony hiccuped and then continued.

"You're buckin' stupid! Humans are made up, n' stuff!"

The green pony frowned and then yelled into the microphone, causing every pony to clutch at their ears as her screams pierced through the night.

"SHUT UP! THEY ARE SO TOO REAL, AND WHEN YOU FIND OUT HOW REAL THEY ARE YOU’RE GONNA BE SORRY YOU.... YOU'RE STUPID!" The green pony clicked a button on the microphone and fireworks shot out from behind her and into the sky.

"Humans lived long ago and they ruled the whole world and stuff like that, but when they died out Celestia and Luna hid all the stuff about them and made them into mythology. THEY ARE NOT MYTHOLOGY!"

The green pony took a deep breath to calm herself and continued on. This time she sounded more calm, but there was an underlying power that could be felt in the voice.

"Every Fourth of July human families would worship their holy leader, President Uncle Sam, of their great continent, the OOSA, by lighting off fireworks and sacrificing dogs that they found attractive ... I'm not really sure about that last part, though."

The whole crowd was dead silent. Not even the wind seemed to be blowing. The green pony shuffled her hooves and coughed, wobbling slightly.

"Humans helped us become what we are today! Most of the things you take for granted are ... are ... oh buck." A look of terror was now visible in the features of the green unicorn as she stared at one point in particular. The crowd shuffled away to reveal a very angry looking cream colored mare.

"Hey, Bon-Bon. How are you ... um ... doing?" The green Mare looked away, chuckling awkwardly.

The cream colored mare looked up at the other one without saying a word. A few seconds passed and then she spoke.

"When I’m done with you they’ll never find your body."

"Hey, wait, don't be mad!"

"MAD? WHY WOULD I BE MAD? IS IT BECAUSE I LEFT TOWN FOR ONE DAY AND I COME BACK TO FIND A GIANT MONUMENT IN TOWN SQUARE? WHY WOULD THAT MAKE ME MAD?"

The ponies that were closest to the cream colored mare edged away from her slowly. No pony wanted to be as close to the raging inferno as they had to be. The green mare frowned and started to yell back, waving her microphone around recklessly.

"Well, I'm sorry, Bon-Bon, but the ponies of Ponyville need to learn about Humans! This conspiracy has gone on long enough, they-," her rant was interrupted by a loud crack. The audience's gaze went to the source of the sound. The small microphone the unicorn was holding had completely cracked in half and was now beeping sporadically as electricity crackled around it. Lights began to flash all around the green unicorn high atop the scaffold.

"Mother b-"

Fireworks spewed from the enormous scaffold, flying in all directions. They crashed into nearby houses with deafening explosions that rocked through the village. Ponies screamed and ran left and right as the fireworks whizzed by overhead, exploding at random intervals. Some went straight into the ground, leaving huge craters in the cobblestone. The smell of fire broke Carrot Top's concentration from dodging the incoming missiles and she turned to see a firework smash into Sugar Cube Corner, lighting the building on fire with a sudden whoosh of flame.

All around her were the sounds of screams and yells, only broken up by the sound of explosions. There was a sudden groaning sound and Carrot Top glanced back just in time to see the enormous scaffold, now on fire, splintering and plummeting to the ground.

As Carrot Top stood there, gazing around at the unholy destruction occurring around her, she could only manage to utter a few words.

"Oh buck."

Comments

[Capitola]

Just as a quick reference ...

Attractive dogs = hot dogs, in case you didn't catch that little joke.

[KartalTheWriter]

A few bits her and there, Carrot Top wasn't always capitalized...

But then 'hands'?! What the hay are hands?!

Oh, Bon Bon's entrance amuased me.