• Published 2nd Jan 2018
  • 165 Views, 4 Comments

The Limeade Stand - CrazedLaughter



Limey Squeeze, a failed limeade merchant, opens his stand in the outskirts of Ponyville to see if he can rack up some business there. But the spot he picks only seems to attract the weirdest of customers.

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Prologue

A lime green pony. With a mane the color of lemonade. Is busy setting up not a shop, but a simple limeade stand in the middle of Ponyville. This unfortunate stallion had gained a cutie mark, his talent, in limeade selling. This was something he lamented as his life had always dealt him a bad hand. A terrible color scheme, born an earth pony, and as it turns out, stuck in a town where no one really notices him and everyone buys apple cider or lemonade anyway.

But, despite his life not being the best as far as ponies go. He tries his best anyway to try to sell as much limeade as possible. Because, well, that pays the bills. And sure, he can be as sour as the limes he squeezes to make his limeade.And sure, he did sort of hate it. He was still dedicated to the craft. And he’d do anything, and sell to anyone, to make sure his limeade quenches anyone’s thirst.

This pony’s name. Was Limey Squeeze.

“Egh, there we go. All set up for the day.” Limey said as he wiped his brow. His limeade stand was set up and ready to go.

He quickly zipped behind his stand and waited for his first customer of the day. He felt some optimism today. There was many ponies about and he was sure that at two bits a glass. He’d be making some serious cash by the evening.

“Alright. Relax today Limey, everything is going to go ok for once. Just relax. Plenty of ponies out today” Limey puts on a big smile as he slicks his mane back “Plenty of customers.”

And he continued smiling. But like the many days before this one. Not a single pony came to partake in his delicious limeade. But no, this would not deter him. But what WOULD deter him is after twenty minutes of waiting. He began to hear an annoying noise beside him.

“What in the…” He looks to the side. To see an adorable little filly with pigtails hammering away the final nail to her lemonade stand. “Yo, excuse me kid. But, what are you doing?”

“Oh hi mister!” The little filly beamed at him “I just finished my lemonade stand. One bit for a glass.” She started to wiggle her tail cutely as she shined her smiley teeth towards Limey “You wanna buy some?”

Limey began to speak in a mocking tone “No, I don’t want to buy some.” He then sighed, annoyed that he suddenly had competition “Look kid. One? I was here first, so go away. And two? One bit per glass? How are you supposed to make a profit?”

The filly shook her head and smiled at Limey “I don’t wanna make a profit. I just wanna make ponies happy. I only charge a bit so I can have money to buy more lemons.”

Limey did a mocking laugh “well ain’t that cute? Listen kid, the world doesn’t run on smiles. It runs on hard work and money. And besides, you’re competing with a professional. I have a cutie mark for this sort of thing. Do you have a cutie mark for lemonade selling?”

The filly shook her head “Mmmm. mmm. It’s knitting!” She says with a cute smile.

“Knitting she says. Oy, look. Just give up and go home. The marketplace ain’t no place for beginners.”

“...Oh...erm..” The filly looked down in self doubt for a moment then looked to Limey with a puzzled look “Mister. Can I ask you a question?”

Limey let out a heavy groan “Ugh, I’m trying to work here. What is it?”

“Do you like eating poop?” She asks

Limey is taken aback “W-what?! Why are you asking that?!”

“Daddy says meanie ponies like to eat their own poopies. And you sure do have a stinky personality to me” The filly said. With innocence completely grafted to her face.

Limey growled “Why you little...I happen to be a very CLEAN and SUCCESSFUL Pony. You got that?”

“Umm. Not really. But I guess so. So erm...Does that mean that your coat always look like that kinda green? Because I thought you were really really sick…...From eating a lot of poopy” She tells him.

“This...Kid.” Limey was astounded at first from how foul mouthed she was. He then focuses his attention on his limes and began squeezing them into a large pitcher as he spoke. “Whatever. I ain’t got nothing to worry about. I am a master of my craft while you’re just a dumb kid. Just because you have a cute smile doesn’t mean-”

“DID SOMEPONY SAY CUTE SMILE?!” A pony yelled out.

“I DUNNO! BUT LOOK AT THAT FILLY OVER THERE! NEXT TO THAT REALLY SICKLY GUY! HER SMILE IS ADORABLE! AND IT MAKES ME THIRSTY TOO!” Said a pegasus who was flying over head.

“I’M THIRSTY ALSO! AND I DON’T FEEL LIKE GETTING SICK SO….ANYPONY FOR LEMONADE?” bellowed a rather portly unicorn.

Suddenly the entire town cheers for lemonade as they rush towards the filly. In mere moments she is overwhelmed by the army of ponies as Limey stands there astonished that he was passed up despite his obvious superior skills.

“H-hey! What about me? Why not buy some limeade too, eh? With a line like that, you’ll be waiting forever for a glass of lemonade.” Limey tries to convince them.

One of the ponies steps halfway out of the line to approach him. Gives him a sniff, a mean look, then goes back to his spot.

And that set Limey off. He pointed his hoof at the crowd in anger as he began to yell. “YOU MORONS! SHE’S JUST A FILLY WHOSE TALENT IS KNITTING FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE! YOU WANT TO TASTE A SUPERIOR DRINK?! FIRST TEN CUSTOMERS GET A FREE GLASS OF LIMEADE! RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW!”

“Heya mister, dunno what you’re yellin’ about. But can ah buy somethin’ off ya?” Said a young filly with a soft red mane,yellow coat, and a pink bow on her head.

“Huh..what?” Limey suddenly calmed down. And looked to the front of his stand. A customer! What luck! “Finally...ok, you said you wanna buy something?”

“Yep! Need a whole wagon full, See?” She pointed behind herself to show off her small wagon.

Limey began to drool a little. That could hold A LOT of Limeade. “Sure sure, a whole wagon full, huh? Well I’d have to go home to get some of my canisters and more limes. But I can make it happen, a whole wagon of limeade, just for you...at the same price of course.”

“Limeade? What?...no no. ain’t you the fertilizer guy?”

Limey, still smiling, went silent as his eye began to twitch. All he could do was lift his entire stand, limeade and all, and slowly walk to the outskirts of Ponyville to hopefully, HOPEFULLY, have better luck there. Because his luck here…..was poop.

The filly just watched him walk away. It was rather confusing for her.

“Well darn. Ah guess he wasn’t the fertilizer guy. Woo, and ahm sure tuckered out from walking with this wagon. And that line for lemonade is pretty long…….Ah well, maybe I could round up the girls to get some ice cream before I go off again.” Said the little farm filly as she went on her way.

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