The Limeade Stand

by CrazedLaughter

Customer 001: Time Turner

Author's Note:

depending on the reception on this chapter will depend on if I write more or if I'll just focus on Dadoneequs.

Limey had gone a long ways away from Ponyville. Finding himself on an old road that led into the Everfree Forest. When he reached the edge of the trees, he turned around and slammed his limeade stand down facing Ponyville. He took a breath and finally became lucid from his trance of bewilderment. But his anger did not subside.

“Poop eh? I’ll show that filly who’s poop!” Limey said as he started to angrily squeeze limes into a pitcher “This is a great spot! A perfect spot! There’s always a pony or two heading into that dank place. Might as well make their last moments a great one with my fantastic limeade. That’s right Limey, you got it this time!”

There was a hint of madness in his voice as he continued to prepare his limeade with sugar. He knew for sure, that in this spot and with no competition, he’d make some bits real quick.

Of course, given how far out he was and being near such a dangerous location. Customers were actually a little on the low side. As in none.

“....” Limeade was silent as his crazed optimism left him. He slammed his face onto his stand and groaned. “It’s hopeless, I might as well give up and go back to living with moth-”

Suddenly, there’s a rather posh yet shrill scream coming from the forest. Limey could hear the hoofsteps of a pony clearly running for his life.

“Oh no! There’s a pony in danger!” Limey snickered “Perfect, he’s gonna be pretty darn thirsty when he gets out of that forest.”

And Limeade waited until the frightened pony came running out of the forest. It seemed to be a brown stallion with a chocolate colored mane and blue eyes. He seemed to be in some suit that had a wide pockets attached to his back side. He also seemed to wear a collar and a green tie outside of it for some reason.

“FLYDERS! DARNABLE THINGS! SHOO SHOO!” Screamed the pony as he along the old road towards Limey.

Limey himself however, didn’t see any flyders following him. Then again. They don’t seem to typically leave the forest for whatever reason. Even when giving chase.

The geared up pony continued to scream in a panic. Up until he ran up towards the stand as something seemed to catch his eye. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-...oh hello, what’s this?” The pony’s fright instantly left him.

Limey was taken aback at how quickly this strange pony just suddenly stopped and became calm. “uhhh….It’s uhh..A limeade stand. I sell limeade.”

“Interesting. Very interesting. Astonishing really. I didn’t expect to have this kind of luck but, HAHA!” The pony gave out a hearty laugh “It seems fate has been rather kind to me today….except for being nearly mauled by flyders. But that’s the past and this is the present, as they say” The pony says in a matter of factly like way as he began to investigate the stand itself.

“...Yeah, nopony says that. So, after all that running. You gotta be thirsty, right?” Limey asked him. Feeling anticipation build. There was no way this guy wasn’t thirsty.

“Ahh yes, right. Introductions. Well then, my name is Time Turner. And before you ask. Yes, I am collecting items for my latest science experiment. Dangerous I know, but somepony must do it and I’m afraid I’m the only one who knows just exactly what’s needed for my project. Now then, who might you be?” Time Turner asked, with a ignorant grin on his face.

Limey just became stoic, his eyes half lidded. “...I...I didn’t. I just asked if you were thirsty.”

“Well, I don’t think that’s a question two fine gentlecolts such as ourselves asks upon our first meeting. As for thirsty? I’ll let you know in a moment. My mind is calculating a rather important equation and I dare not make a mistake by distracting myself. Simple introductions however would make this go smoothly however. As it is rather rudimentary and makes it easier to engage in conversation.”

Limey right eye began to twitch. This guy was too much. All he wanted to do was sell limeade. That’s ALL HE WANTED TO DO. And his first customer of the day seemed so oblivious that he was even starting to doubt if he had any bits. “Look, the name is Limey. Happy? Can we get to the part where you buy a drink?”

“Limey?” Time Turner looked around “Strange…”

Limey felt a little insulted. He felt it was a fine name. “What’s strange about my name? I happen to think it’s pretty great.”

“Yes but…” Time Turner took narrowed his eyes at him for some reason. Examining his person before he spoke. “I don’t see any ports or ships around. Actually, I don’t think Ponyville is close to the sea. And you don’t need to insult yourself with the name Limey. I happen to think that you’re smashing just the way you are” Time Turner swung his right foreleg in encouragement.

And that’s when Limey loses it. “WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?! WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!”

“Well, you don’t have to shout. Ahrm” Time Turner takes a step back, oblivious to Limey’s anger “I just thought you too had spoken to a friend I have. A magnificent bowler you see. And quite the visionary. He has told me about very lucid dreams of another world. And I thought you had heard of these stories as well, or may even have these visions. See, he told me about a mysterious land named “Britain” and-”

“JUST BUY SOMETHING ALREADY!” Limey screamed in pure fury.

Time Turner blinked, looked up, then gave a cheery smile “In that case, I’ll buy everything”

Limey suddenly froze, and just stared at him. He was suddenly calm yet tense. “You serious?”

“Indeed! You happen to have the very next item I need to complete my scientific quest for knowledge!” Time Turner cheered. Ready to get what he came for.

“....and it’s not fertilizer, right?” Limey cautioned himself. He didn’t need any more surprises from this stallion.

“Oh Celestia, no. Whatever would I do with that? I just want what it says up on your sign. And at two bits. It’s quite a burglary if I do say so myself.”

FINALLY. Limey finally was going to be able to sell his first drink of the day.

Limey smiled cheerfully, poured a drink of limeade for Time Turner. And pushed the drink slowly towards him. “Here you go, that’ll be two bits please.”

“Hmmm?” Time Turner looked at the drink. Puzzled. “What is this?”

“I-it’s limeade...remember?..Y-you just asked for some.” Limey’s slicked mane started to split and bend. He was losing it.

Time Turner let out a hearty chuckle “Oh ho! My apologies. Perhaps I should have been more clear. I actually meant to buy your stand for two bits.”

Limey’s pupils shrunk as he began to shake. “W-wha?”

“Well, the sign above does say “Limeade Stand. Two bits”, Does it not? I just wish to purchase what’s being advertised. I’m not really in the need of a drink at the moment. Especially since Limeade doesn’t truly quench one’s thirst due to all that sugar and sour taste.”

Limeade goes from green to pure red as he slams his forelegs onto the stand and raises himself up to stare into Time Turner’s eyes with hellish rage. “WHY!? WHY WOULD I BE SELLING THE STAND WHEN I NEED IT TO SELL LIMEADE?! THE SIGN IS TELLING YOU WHAT IT IS! NOT THAT I’M SELLING THE STAND ITSELF! WHY WOULD I EVEN SELL IT?! WHY DO YOU EVEN WANT IT?! WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY DO WITH THIS STAND?!”

“Well” Time Turner still seemed oblivious to his anger “The wood used to make it is of a rare oak that can only be found in the northern mountains near Yakyakistan. And it happens to be the very kind of wood I need for my experiment. Besides, I don’t think it’s my fault this misunderstanding happened. Grammar and proper word placement in advertising is indeed key to making a profit in sales.”

“GGGRRRAAGGHHH!” Limeade exploded, he finally reached pique anger. “YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY SIGN!? FINE! I’LL REPLACE IT AFTER I GIVE IT TO YOU WITH THIS ONE!” He screeched has he raised himself higher to rip his sign from above the stand.

“Odd wording. But yes, perhaps just the wood of the sign would do” Time Turner says. Excited to finally get what he wanted.

Limey jumps onto his stand to take a swing at Time Turner’s face. But just as he revved up. Time Turner noticed the hoof zipper on his suit was pulled back. He lowered himself just as Limey took a swing to pull it back up. This caused Limey to miss critically and fall onto his face. The sign falling on the back of his head and knocking him out instantly.

When Time Turner noticed. He finally understood what was going on, and laughed ignorantly. “Ah! Ahaha! I get it now! You meant to actually hit me with your sign! How foolish of me, I had not realized that I had tampered with your temper. Ha! That’s a good one actually and...oh my” And that’s when he also noticed Limey was knocked out. “Oh dear, erm. Well...erm. You did say I could have it so. Erm, I’ll leave you to rest here and I’ll just take this sign and...well. I suppose I could leave the bits and. Erm...goodbye.”

Time Turner left the bits on the stand as he took the sign. Reluctantly leaving Limey on the ground. Unconscious.

Comments

[Quickflip]

simple but enjoyable