simple description for the OC, as I can't draw for scheisse, black and crimson red ( Blood red ) coloration, Blood red feathers with a black trim and fluff color,
This sounds like it's so edgy I cut my tongue just reading it. Not trying to sound mean, I'm just saying use some colors besides black and red, but from the description it sounds like a good story.
8604774 For the record, I LIKE black and red coloring, not my damn fault! I just find red, the color of what would be blood, which indicates danger in our ancestors instincts, interesting, mainly for the fear factor, and the black for the reason as it is a great choice for stealth. And since ponies have relatively the same mindset as humans, but far stronger prey instincts, it reacts. Same thing for most creatures, really, red, in history, has always meant blood or danger for herbivores, and for omnivores, it meant the same, mostly, and for carnivores, it meant food. At least from what I know. Most of my OC's are based off of fear factor from appearance alone, colors can trigger ancient instincts in the mind which can cause different responses, now while a dragon is scary, which would be more terrifying in appearance alone? A Blue and white dragon, or a Black and Red dragon?
A 'small' note about your Avali, the body is most certainly fully synthetic being more than twice regular avali size. They usually stand around 3 foot or 1 meter tall.
much better now my only annoyance is the constant caps with the dragon. bold would work much better. aight so anyways Imma put this on my flagged folder, no I'm not flagging the story I'm just making sure I get a notif when another chapter comes out.
8605060 I'm well aware of their usual size, but this isn't a normal Avali, didn't you read that part? Has a pair of bat like wings sprouting from the back, and 3 tails rather than 1, and also, if they WERE normal Avali, then how in the hell are they the same height at the humans in starbound with an average height of a human male being around 5ft 11in? Yeah, that answers the question. Again, its an OC, so it can break the rules in that regard, do avali normally have 3 tails? Nope, and extra set of wings on their back? Nope. Do they normally have magic, Dovahzul, and such? Nope. So again, its an OC, and also, if they were only three feet tall, then they would be far shorter in game, are they? No, which is another reason why I can say its over 6 feet tall. Because of the fact that the mod, and the fact that its an OC, doesn't decrease its height to that of an MLP pony, it shows it can be taller, and besides, ever heard of gigantism? That could also be a cause, assuming Avali can actually develop it, in spite not being carbon based life forms, there just isn't enough information about them for a solid thing, so yet again, you can't be certain, so its fine.
( Sorry if I was rude there, I can be an asshole without realizing it. )
I can agree, but still, the dragon is LOUD, I mean honestly, a fully grown dragon has been shown time and time again through stories to be loud, also, you have to remember, this is mostly through avali like hearing, thus, much louder than normal. So while bold would be a great choice, caps to tend to show that... well you get the picture.
Also, you don't put it into a Flagged folder, you track it. Please fix that will you? As it could be banned because of that to my knowledge.
8605167 I already gave a way for it to have been that large in Avali canon, as it were, as Avali DO sometimes do full body replacements. and you were condescending, just to let you know. I was just trying to help out with 'normal' avali lore.
Also, the same size in starbound itself is a limitation of the game engine really.
8605268 I understand that, and danke, but nein, the body is 100% normal for her save for the augments needed to survive in space and on carbon based planets and such. Anyways, hope it cleared up any confusion.
8605301 also, please do not forget the amonia-based Violet-colored blood/flesh, and the temperature augments needed for that. it's a nice tidbit you might want to have come up with twilight, unless you did already, and i missed it.
I may, and I may not, as I may just do a brief part with that, but I could use you to help me explain it in more detail, as honestly, I cannot remember how it is. I may just say I have the Augments needed to survive on carbon based planets. Also, I haven't had any ponies around yet, but I might in the next chapter, anyways, yeah, I think I'll just stick to a shorter summary for the Augment parts of it. As I really don't want to go TOO deep into it without the information. So if you could actually provide a link to the lore that would be great.
Here you go. has biology, technology, and so on. Also, in avali society, lone avali are considered handicapped due to their social structure. Some displaced do have the character get overlaid onto the human inside. this could play into your story, having to cope with Avali thoughts.
Thanks, I may have to keep that in mind, I'm going to actually start implementing some of that later ( but I already have hinted at it once ), but remember how human minds work compared to avali's, I may mix both of them, but I happen to be someone to avoid groups, so I may very well mix the avali mind with that of a human. Or, I may just have a human mind rewrite the avali one. I don't entirely know. As after all, currently my character is under the influence, but, if you haven't noticed in the 2nd chapter, I ' Do something stupid ' is a very light nudge to having a slight change in my mind. Because if I actually stared down a dragon, even with being an avali like that, I would've ran like fucking hell and hid. It is a slight reference to that, as I do remember that part about it ( From reading Flight of an Avali Season 1 ) that Avali are close to their packs, hence, that. So I may add a few things involving the Avali mindset. But I'm still not entirely sure, I will however, add a few more nudges to it in the 3rd chapter, as my character is changing, but they will not lose their memory, well, maybe a little, but not much. Anyways, yeah, the 3rd chapter is going to take some time to come out. As I have quite a lot of work to do, around Christmas time I may be able to get out 1-2 chapters, or perhaps more. I think I'll create my token at chapter 5-8 so I might have a few cross-overs, but I won't over do it like some stories have. Not sure what number but it will be less than 5, but I might not have any at all.
8607041 Actually, forget I said anything about changing the mind of my character too much, because like the scheissekopf I am, I completely forgot about one main aspect of my OC, which would've been part of her back story, which was that when she was younger, she suffered a type of head injury which changed her mindset to be far closer to that of a humans but it still had a slight amount of Avali left ( By slight, I mean at least a fair amount ). I plan on having the story for it in a special chapter, just so that more people can understand, hence, why my character is the way it is.
Might actually have the 3rd chapter be a side one, as that'll take less time to write. So yeah, expect my OC's back story coming up first, then the next chapter, since you've asked questions about it, I'm sure some of the more detailed people with the lore of the Avali will ask, so I'll have that chapter as an answer. ( it will also be the chapter with all of the mods on it in the authors note or should I make a small chapter after that will the mods? I won't be able to provide the links so you'll have to search for it on steam yourself )
It will explain childhood, ' teenage ' years ( I don't know how long they can live for normally ), and further, I won't give out anymore than that. So be prepared for a huge roughly 20K word chapter or possibly longer, as I will attempt to fit it into a single chapter. So have that to look forward to. As honestly, I would rather get that out of the way then have a huge 40-50K word chapter just to mix both, as that would be too big of a pain in the ass to deal with. Wow that got long winded, sorry for that. ( To be honest, I changed my mind, I'll wait for a while. But the chapter for my OC's back story is coming, don't worry about that. )
I like your story so far so keep it up and i hope release another chapter soon but, take your time. I play starbound myself and i love playing as the Avali.🐹
Don't you mean science?
8604696
No, Scheisse, its german for shit. I just can't use the normal 'letter' for the SS part. As it is normally a letter that looks similar to a B.
This sounds like it's so edgy I cut my tongue just reading it. Not trying to sound mean, I'm just saying use some colors besides black and red, but from the description it sounds like a good story.
8604774
For the record, I LIKE black and red coloring, not my damn fault! I just find red, the color of what would be blood, which indicates danger in our ancestors instincts, interesting, mainly for the fear factor, and the black for the reason as it is a great choice for stealth. And since ponies have relatively the same mindset as humans, but far stronger prey instincts, it reacts. Same thing for most creatures, really, red, in history, has always meant blood or danger for herbivores, and for omnivores, it meant the same, mostly, and for carnivores, it meant food. At least from what I know. Most of my OC's are based off of fear factor from appearance alone, colors can trigger ancient instincts in the mind which can cause different responses, now while a dragon is scary, which would be more terrifying in appearance alone? A Blue and white dragon, or a Black and Red dragon?
8604793
Sorry about that then.
A 'small' note about your Avali, the body is most certainly fully synthetic being more than twice regular avali size. They usually stand around 3 foot or 1 meter tall.
much better now my only annoyance is the constant caps with the dragon.
bold would work much better.
aight so anyways Imma put this on my flagged folder, no I'm not flagging the story I'm just making sure I get a notif when another chapter comes out.
8605060
I'm well aware of their usual size, but this isn't a normal Avali, didn't you read that part? Has a pair of bat like wings sprouting from the back, and 3 tails rather than 1, and also, if they WERE normal Avali, then how in the hell are they the same height at the humans in starbound with an average height of a human male being around 5ft 11in? Yeah, that answers the question. Again, its an OC, so it can break the rules in that regard, do avali normally have 3 tails? Nope, and extra set of wings on their back? Nope. Do they normally have magic, Dovahzul, and such? Nope. So again, its an OC, and also, if they were only three feet tall, then they would be far shorter in game, are they? No, which is another reason why I can say its over 6 feet tall. Because of the fact that the mod, and the fact that its an OC, doesn't decrease its height to that of an MLP pony, it shows it can be taller, and besides, ever heard of gigantism? That could also be a cause, assuming Avali can actually develop it, in spite not being carbon based life forms, there just isn't enough information about them for a solid thing, so yet again, you can't be certain, so its fine.
( Sorry if I was rude there, I can be an asshole without realizing it. )
8605166
I can agree, but still, the dragon is LOUD, I mean honestly, a fully grown dragon has been shown time and time again through stories to be loud, also, you have to remember, this is mostly through avali like hearing, thus, much louder than normal. So while bold would be a great choice, caps to tend to show that... well you get the picture.
Also, you don't put it into a Flagged folder, you track it. Please fix that will you? As it could be banned because of that to my knowledge.
8605167
I already gave a way for it to have been that large in Avali canon, as it were, as Avali DO sometimes do full body replacements. and you were condescending, just to let you know. I was just trying to help out with 'normal' avali lore.
Also, the same size in starbound itself is a limitation of the game engine really.
8605268
I understand that, and danke, but nein, the body is 100% normal for her save for the augments needed to survive in space and on carbon based planets and such. Anyways, hope it cleared up any confusion.
8605301
also, please do not forget the amonia-based Violet-colored blood/flesh, and the temperature augments needed for that. it's a nice tidbit you might want to have come up with twilight, unless you did already, and i missed it.
8605181
nonono i renamed my tracking folder to flagged stories.
if you see a flag above something does it not draw your attention?
8605464
I may, and I may not, as I may just do a brief part with that, but I could use you to help me explain it in more detail, as honestly, I cannot remember how it is. I may just say I have the Augments needed to survive on carbon based planets. Also, I haven't had any ponies around yet, but I might in the next chapter, anyways, yeah, I think I'll just stick to a shorter summary for the Augment parts of it. As I really don't want to go TOO deep into it without the information. So if you could actually provide a link to the lore that would be great.
8605491
http://avali.wikia.com/wiki/The_Official_Avali_Wiki
Here you go. has biology, technology, and so on. Also, in avali society, lone avali are considered handicapped due to their social structure. Some displaced do have the character get overlaid onto the human inside. this could play into your story, having to cope with Avali thoughts.
8605686
Thanks, I may have to keep that in mind, I'm going to actually start implementing some of that later ( but I already have hinted at it once ), but remember how human minds work compared to avali's, I may mix both of them, but I happen to be someone to avoid groups, so I may very well mix the avali mind with that of a human. Or, I may just have a human mind rewrite the avali one. I don't entirely know. As after all, currently my character is under the influence, but, if you haven't noticed in the 2nd chapter, I ' Do something stupid ' is a very light nudge to having a slight change in my mind. Because if I actually stared down a dragon, even with being an avali like that, I would've ran like fucking hell and hid. It is a slight reference to that, as I do remember that part about it ( From reading Flight of an Avali Season 1 ) that Avali are close to their packs, hence, that. So I may add a few things involving the Avali mindset. But I'm still not entirely sure, I will however, add a few more nudges to it in the 3rd chapter, as my character is changing, but they will not lose their memory, well, maybe a little, but not much. Anyways, yeah, the 3rd chapter is going to take some time to come out. As I have quite a lot of work to do, around Christmas time I may be able to get out 1-2 chapters, or perhaps more. I think I'll create my token at chapter 5-8 so I might have a few cross-overs, but I won't over do it like some stories have. Not sure what number but it will be less than 5, but I might not have any at all.
8606715
Happy to help you refine your story.
8607041
Actually, forget I said anything about changing the mind of my character too much, because like the scheissekopf I am, I completely forgot about one main aspect of my OC, which would've been part of her back story, which was that when she was younger, she suffered a type of head injury which changed her mindset to be far closer to that of a humans but it still had a slight amount of Avali left ( By slight, I mean at least a fair amount ). I plan on having the story for it in a special chapter, just so that more people can understand, hence, why my character is the way it is.
Might actually have the 3rd chapter be a side one, as that'll take less time to write. So yeah, expect my OC's back story coming up first, then the next chapter, since you've asked questions about it, I'm sure some of the more detailed people with the lore of the Avali will ask, so I'll have that chapter as an answer. ( it will also be the chapter with all of the mods on it in the authors note or should I make a small chapter after that will the mods? I won't be able to provide the links so you'll have to search for it on steam yourself )
It will explain childhood, ' teenage ' years ( I don't know how long they can live for normally ), and further, I won't give out anymore than that. So be prepared for a huge roughly 20K word chapter or possibly longer, as I will attempt to fit it into a single chapter. So have that to look forward to. As honestly, I would rather get that out of the way then have a huge 40-50K word chapter just to mix both, as that would be too big of a pain in the ass to deal with. Wow that got long winded, sorry for that. ( To be honest, I changed my mind, I'll wait for a while. But the chapter for my OC's back story is coming, don't worry about that. )
I like your story so far so keep it up and i hope release another chapter soon but, take your time. I play starbound myself and i love playing as the Avali.🐹