All The Boys
"You awake?"
"Huh?"
Twilight Sparkle refocused her eyes as she snapped out of her reverie. She reached up and adjusted her black horn-rimmed spectacles, blinking away the daydream.
"I asked if you know what you're gonna get yet."
Twilight met her companion's eyes, sitting across the table. Rainbow Dash. The girl, the myth, the legend... her date. The thought set her heart aflutter all over again, remembering that it wasn't just a fantasy, that she had indeed responded in kind to her inquiry of attempting to enter into a relationship, that she was sitting there, right now, gently smirking, and awaiting an answer.
Maybe it was time to supply one.
"I, uh... um."
Smooth. Rainbow leaned back as the studious girl scanned the laminated menu set on the table beneath her. She had promised herself to back off of the snark that came so easily, on account of it could potentially be taken the wrong way. She wanted Twilight's first date to be a good experience.
"I've never really been here before," she supplied, having mustered up just enough sense to at least try to put words together in some semblance of sentence structure. "What would you say is typical fare for an establishment like this?"
Rainbow let out a chuckle at her question. She had suggested this local diner as it was one of their mutual friend Rarity's favorite places to go for first dates, but hadn't taken into account that Twilight had never really gone out much, and probably had never even eaten a cheeseburger and fries before. Behind the glasses were saucers of trepidation and overstimulation, so she decided to cut in.
"Well there's two main meals that most people get here, and two main sides," she said, explaining from over the table. "For the big stuff there's the classic burger, or the patty melt. For the other stuff there's fries and chili. And if you're gonna eat here then you gotta have one of the milkshakes because they are bomb."
Twilight's eyes zeroed in on the list of burgers, sliding between it and what was invariably the melts. She bit her lip and turned up to face the athlete. "Which one is your favorite?"
Rainbow closed her eyes and took a deep yet quiet breath, a tactic she'd sharpened after years of dealing with other girls with fragile emotions. She leaned forward over the table, setting her elbows down on it.
"Personally, I switch back and forth," she began to explain. "I like them both but it depends on my mood. Did I have a game recently, which sport was it, what day of the week is it, who am I with, am I on my period, what kind of shakes are there, a bunch of stuff." She tapped her callused finger on the photograph of the melt. "But I've never had a date here before, and you haven't eaten here before, so let's get one of each and then just split 'em in half, dig?"
Twilight pursed her lips before looking back down at the menu. Both options did seem good... and it would be best to pick soon because out of the corner of her eye, their waitress seemed like she was about to literally explode. But another question arose.
"Can we do the same thing with the sides?"
Rainbow nodded. "We'll just split everything then. What flavors of shake will you want?"
Twilight noticeably paled before looking back down at the menu and flipping the divider over to the other side, revealing the two dozen flavors of milkshake listed within. That didn't even count the seasonal flavors or the mixes. Her eyes slid over every square inch of the photographs, and Rainbow could almost see the 'now loading' icon frozen on her face.
"You know what," Rainbow said, reaching over to close the menu. "Let's just get a chocolate and a vanilla since those are the entry level ones." She took the piece of leatherbound plastic and stacked it atop her own. "You don't want an aneurysm."
Twilight grinned at this and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Sorry," she apologized. "I've just never had any of this kind of food before. I don't know what to expect."
Rainbow nodded in understanding. "It's okay," she placated. "If we're dating now, then we'll be doing a lot of things neither of us have ever really done before." she took a sip of the water that had been set there when they'd first sat down. "Plus it makes things a little bit less hectic and chaotic for you if you don't stress out over all the little details. You have more fun that way."
Twilight nodded before looking down at the table. Despite having pretty much the polar opposite set of interests to herself, Rainbow Dash was probably the most understanding of her new friends in terms of the way her brain worked. Sure, Sunset got the scientific curiosity and Fluttershy got the shy awkwardness and Rarity got the culture of the high society of her own upbringing, but Rainbow was the only one who could empathize with how her brain handled things. Responsibility wasn't the best thing to handle in new situations such as romance, after all.
Rainbow waved over their waitress and gave Twilight a comforting smile. "You're gonna love this junk," she said. "Pinkie is gonna make sure you do."
"Hiya Dashie! Hi Twi!" came the bubbly greeting from their server clad in roller skates, a frilly vintage dress, and an apron. Her hair was up in a ponytail underneath her small paper hat, and she had a pencil and pad of paper waiting to write. The cheese-eating grin plastered on her face seemed just on the borderline of exploding in a rainbow of cupcakes and glitter. "Are you ready to order?"
Twilight briefly glanced to Rainbow, who gave her a thumbs up. "Yeah, I think so," said the extrovert. "We'll have a frizzy with sauce, a dub chub with shoestrings, a chillanilla... and a chocolate shake." she slid her eyes to her very confused date before turning back. "Both of those large."
The pencil scribbled furiously as Pinkie's tongue slightly poked through her lips as she focused. "Do you want the whole farm or are we going carnival style, and do you want a full rock in the shoe?"
"Hey Twi, aren't you lactose intolerant and have high blood pressure?"
Twilight blinked. "Um... yes. To both."
"Okay Pinks, that's a farm style and a half rock."
"You got it, Dashie!" she exuberated. "Coming right up! You two have fun... but not too much fun." She giggled and winked before rolling off into the kitchen.
Rainbow chortled as she took a sip of water before turning to face Twilight who was still confused but was now also blushing furiously. "I eat here a lot," she explained. "It's faster to tell Pinkie what you want in the ways her mind works."
"I mean... I understand that part," Twilight responded, eyes everywhere but on her date. "I know you two are close. But..."
She struggled to find the right words, and when she put them together mentally first she found herself unable to communicate them on account of it was very awkward. What else could she possibly have meant by that? 'Don't have too much fun' surely indicated that Pinkie expected the two of them to perform intercourse, and if a girl as sweet and innocent as Pinkie had her mind jump straight to... sex... then who else with more perverted mindsets might make the same judgments???
Not that Twilight cared about what other people thought. They could do and say whatever they wanted. It certainly wouldn't affect her in any way. Right? But if that was the case then why is her heart beating so quickly, and why does her face feel hot, and why is there suddenly a moist feeling from her underarms, and why is she darting her eyes around suspiciously? Okay so maybe she cared a little bit.
It wasn't anybody's business but her own whether she did or didn't have sex with whomsoever she pleased. If she wanted to share it then she absolutely could, but the fact of the matter is that she hadn't even done it before, let alone been in a romantic relationship with anybody else! Rainbow had plenty of experience in the past, both in the dating department and the more physical aspects of romance, so there was just more pressure.
Wait! Oh no.
What if people assumed that they were going to do that tonight!? Certainly word was going to get out soon. Looking around, Twilight could not only see a few students from her and Rainbow's school, Canterlot High, but also from her own old school, Crystal Prep. Now that she was paying attention to her surroundings, she could definitely notice a few curious glances, but her paranoid mind decoded these as jeers and glares. They could tell, they knew! They knew this was a date, and they knew Rainbow's reputation, and they were assuming that they were going to have sex, and they were not okay with that.
"Hey," Rainbow interjected sternly, placing a hand over the table on Twilight's own.
"What?" She asked, trying to seem like she didn't know exactly what Rainbow was thinking. After a moment she let her eyes turn up and meet her date's.
"Pinkie didn't mean anything by that," she explained, gently rubbing Twilight's hand with her own; a tactic she had learned from dealing with Fluttershy's anxieties. "I'm not even fully sure she knows what that means. And those guys sitting over there? They probably think you're the other Twilight and are wondering why you're wearing glasses or something. Here," with her free hand she slid Twilight's untouched glass of water closer towards her. "Drink something, you'll calm down with something cold in you."
Twilight reluctantly did as she was asked, and took a sip. It was cool and clear, so the diner clearly didn't use the city water. It tasted good, but she didn't particularly care to drink any more since her stomach felt particularly queasy considering that Rainbow was still holding her hand! And stroking it nonetheless!? Did the girl have any idea what effect she had???
"I..." oh no, why did she say something? It would have been so easy to have just smiled and nodded and pretended it all was okay. Sure, maybe she had a point here and there in that it was theoretically improbable that every single person in the diner assumed that Rainbow and Twilight were in a relationship that automatically implied sexual activity and they were all bigoted enough to have hefty moral objections to that fact, and they did indeed seem to simply be curious. But still.
And it's not like Twilight wouldn't have sex with Rainbow Dash given the opportunity. She had a healthy adolescent sex drive for her age and it was perfectly normal for a teenage lesbian to think about that kind of thing and Rainbow was really attractive especially when she did that thing with her jaw and she had no qualms about wearing revealing clothes and maybe Rainbow had a lead role in a few of her own private fantasies at night and wow how the mind wanders when she's right there and looking pretty as ever.
"You look nice."
Stupid! Stupid! Why did she say that? Ugh, now she was gonna think this is awkward and a bad idea and cancel the date and-
"Thanks. Your dress is pretty cute."
Twilight did not have a cohesive thought in her mind at the compliment and simply settled on thinking a long and drawn-out internal scream.
"I haven't seen this one before," she continued. "But then again, I'm still new to you wearing anything aside from your old uniform or your labcoat." She paused to take a sip of her water. "Don't tell Rarity I said this but she sure knows how to pick outfits for people. I just wish the ones she tries to get me to put on are less frilly."
"...thank you." Twilight eventually murmured, still reeling. 'Rainbow Dash thinks it's cute?' she thought to herself, gently rubbing the fabric between her fingers underneath the table. It was silk and linen in a powder blue with white and lavender accents, and came down a little bit past her knees. Rarity had helped her pick it out especially for her date.
It had been a long, stressful endeavor that day. Twilight had broken down crying in the changing room, but Rarity was used to clients (and friends) being emotional over clothes, especially since she was no stranger to the feeling, and was able to be exactly the shoulder Twilight had needed. By the end they had finally decided on this one, and it was a little out of the budget, but it was just perfect. And Rainbow liked it!
The door jingled and a group of teenagers walked in, loud and rambunctious. They paid no heed to the two girls, or to the disapproving scowls sent them by everyone older than thirty-five.
Twilight’s phone buzzed.
“You gonna check that?” Rainbow asked.
“That's bad dating etiquette,” Twilight replied, shaking her head.
“Uh huh,” Rainbow cocked an eyebrow before she slid over the small plastic container of tiny boxes of jam and jelly. “So what book did you read that in?” she playfully teased as she began separating the strawberry from the grape.
“Rarity told me that, actually,” Twilight defended, glancing down at the condiments. “But... I already knew it when she did because I read it in Dating For Dummies.”
Rainbow snorted and then quickly apologized, stacking all the matching flavors.
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up Dash, we all read embarrassing books when we were twelve.”
Rainbow nodded. “Not me. Only books I ever read was Sports Illustrated.” She glanced around the room before leaning in. “Or Playboy.”
“Rainbow!” she hissed, mortified. “Pornography isn't literature.”
“Relax Twi,” she responded, forming a tower. “I read the articles too. And the jokes.”
Twilight covered her cheeks with her hands hoping that the people around the diner wouldn't notice her furious blushing. “You...” she couldn't think of words that would accurately convey the proper meaning.
“I'm kidding, by the way,” Rainbow admitted, deconstructing the stack. “I didn't know I was into chicks until pretty recently, actually. Never really thought about it until high school in the girls locker rooms and I was like... ‘Oh, I'm actually gay. That explains a lot.’ How was it for you?”
Twilight raised her eyebrows. “Really?” she asked. “You didn't know until high school?”
Rainbow shrugged. “My mind was on soccer at the time. And tennis. And basketball. Did you know sooner?”
Twilight glanced behind her before whispering. “Deep down I’ve kind of always known. Ever since I was a kid I hated seeing weddings. Any time one came up, my family was always asking if I had a boyfriend yet.”
“Oh man, I know that feeling.”
“That or if I was thinking about getting married myself eventually, if I had my dream wedding planned out, which celebrity I would choose if I could. One day I told my grandma that I’d marry the girl from the yogurt commercials, and then every time after that she was always reading me phrases from her religious texts and stuff. I learned pretty quickly then that liking girls was something I had to hide, so I always pretended to like guys... eventually I started to believe it. That's why... that's why Timber and I...”
Rainbow waved her hand. “You don't have to bring that guy up, Twi. He's just some dude who thought he could turn you straight. I've been friends with plenty of guys like that.” Through the window she side-eyed someone dressed in the Crystal Prep uniform. “Honestly if someone thinks that being just friends with you ‘isn't enough’, he isn't worth dating at all even if you were straight, because you're pretty awesome.”
Twilight grinned at this.
Pinkie rolled by and attended to the teenagers from a minute ago, saying hello to the preppy trio of new arrivals. The three looked around the diner before what seemed to be their leader locked eyes with Twilight.
“Well well,” he leered, giving her a once over. “If it isn't little Traitorlight Sparkle.” Behind him his two friends gave each other a high five. “Never thought I’d see your face at a greasy little dive like this.”
“Oh! Em! Gee!” Pinkie gleefully exclaimed, skating around the boys. “Jet Set, hi! We haven't seen you since the Friendship Games!”
“Pinkie...” Rainbow warned, voice low.
“Ah...” he placed a finger on his cheek. “You must be Pinkie Pie. Of course, I already know you, Rainbow. Where are your other friends? The drama queen, the redneck, the wet napkin, and the crazy one that almost killed all of you?”
“Oh, well Rarebear is at the mall hanging out with Sour Sweet and AJ is probably at home doing chores and Shy Shy and Sunny are probably at their apartment doing homework!”
Rainbow slapped her forehead.
“Yeah,” the goon on the left said, snickering. “Or each other.”
“Up top, bro!” cried the other one, giving him a high five.
“Gentlemen.” Jet snapped. “I am about to eat. Don't bring up any degenerate filth in my presence.”
Rainbow clenched her fists.
“...sorry boss” and “Won’t happen again” chimed in simultaneously as the three stepped past Pinkie and slipped into the booth right behind Twilight. She glanced at them before turning back to Rainbow, only to see her fuming.
“I'm sorry,” she began, before Rainbow nodded.
Pinkie gave them menus and took their drink orders (sparkling water) before sliding over. “Your food’s gonna be right out in a flash!” she bubbled before rolling off into the back room.
“Twilight, what did your text say?” Rainbow interrogated under her breath.
Twilight slipped her phone out, sliding the screen to unlock it. A text from Rarity pulsed in all caps. “Um... it just says ‘tell rainbow plane crash’ but I don't know what that means.”
Rainbow jammed her hand in her own pocket and yanked out her own cell phone, furiously tapping away. “...can't believe this,” she muttered under her breath.
“Trouble in paradise?” Jet sneered from over Twilight’s shoulder. She turned to see him propped up by his arms on the divider between their seats. “You seem out of sorts, Rainbow Dash. Perhaps you should take me up on my offer to help you relax. Just an innocent little shoulder rub is all you need.”
“Thanks but no thanks,” Rainbow replied, not even looking up from her phone. “And no, my friend does not need a demonstration.”
“Suit yourself,” he replied, smirking, before turning back forward.
Rainbow crammed her phone back in her pocket and immediately Twilight’s own phone buzzed again. She glanced at it this time and it was from Rainbow, saying ‘don't let him know this is a date’.
‘Why not?’ she mouthed.
Rainbow merely nodded again. “Where do you wanna hang out after we’re done here?”
Twilight glanced at the movement in her peripheral vision, of Jet slightly turning his head. “I... figured it was up to you,” she replied. “I don't understand, is something wrong?”
“No,” Rainbow cut in. “Everything’s fine, there's just this thing that I wanted to do later and I wanted to know if you'd be up for it.”
“Well...” not getting the hint. “I have to know what kind of thing it is for me to tell you if I’d enjoy it or not. Are you feeling well, Rainbow?”
She pinched the bridge of her nose before reaching into her pocket again.
It was then that Pinkie bumped open the doors with her hips and rolled over to their table, depositing the food and drinks. Everything was split in perfect halves: the sandwiches, the fries, even the bowl of chili had a cardboard divider in it.
“Here's your order,” she slyly indicated. “So now why don't you two lovebirds have a wonderful first date?”
Jet’s head snapped to attention when she said this. Twilight turned from Pinkie to Rainbow, who was glaring off into the distance with her lips pursed and her free open hand slowly curling.
“Enjoy!” she trilled, rolling back into the kitchen.
Twilight’s phone buzzed for the third time, and she glanced at the message.
‘Jet and I have a history in sports and he keeps flirting with me. You probably know him better than I do but you cannot let him know that you're dating megfkjvtybvhnghg y never fucking mind I guess’
“I see how it is...” Jet grimaced before standing up and stepping towards the table. “Now it all makes sense. Everyone on the team had a bet going on but I was above it, above the debauchery. I knew what was really going on, or at least I thought I did. Playing hard to get. Just made the chase more fun. But now I see that they were right, that they were all right! Rainbow Dyke they called you. I'll have you know that I stood up for you, that I called them out for impugning your honor. I respected you as a competitor, as a fellow athlete. And the thanks I get is you exchanging cunnilingus with this... this... AND YOU!”
He slammed his hand on the table, causing the two girls to jump: Twilight in fear and Rainbow in fury.
“You're not just a traitor to our school, Twilight. You're a fucking disgrace to our entire RACE. I would have accepted you back into our school given enough time with the rabble of backwoods inbred scum tainted by liberal ideology, but no, you had to go and engage in illicit activity with this... this FAGGOT!” he spits at Rainbow.
“I'm warning you Jet, leave us alone.”
“Why do you care if we date each other?” Twilight inquired, fear giving way to curiosity. “Some females experience attraction to other females, just as some males experience attraction to other males.” She sat up straighter in the booth. “It's all scientifically documented by a number of sources. And no amount of science is necessary to explain why people don't want to date you.”
He rolled his jaw before turning to face Rainbow, before beginning to laugh. “You hear this?” he asked, looking between the two girls. He placed both hands on his hips before standing up and laughing harder. “Twilight Sparkle keeping a cool head in the face of realizing she got found out for her lipstick lesbian perversion. If only she was just a bit... sweeter.” While staring Rainbow in the face, he reached out and grabbed her milkshake.
“Oh look!” he cried, eyes wide as he dumped it over Twilight’s head. “Something cool and sweet right here!”
He slammed the glass back on the table before turning to sit back at his own seat.
Everything stopped for a moment.
Dead silence.
“Order up!” Pinkie cried, pushing through the doors and skating past the scene, blissfully unaware of the events that had just transpired.
Just like that, everything clicked back into place.
Twilight took in a slow, shuddering gasp. She shivered, partly from the cold and partly from the shock. Her hair, her purse, her phone, HER NEW DRESS, all ruined instantly.
Rainbow just blinked, eyes practically bugging out of her skull.
Suddenly Twilight was up on her feet and sprinting across the diner towards the bathrooms, shoving the door open and slamming it closed behind her.
Pinkie came skating back by, stopping at the table. “Hey Dashie,” she said. “You sure finished your shake pretty fast, you want a refill?”
Her jaw simply hung open.
“I'll take that as a ye~es!”
Pinkie slid over to the next table and asked if there was anything she could help them with.
“Um... no, I don't think so,” Jet responded before letting out a chuckle. “I think that we are all set.”
“Okey dokey lokey!” she cheered before turning and heading back through the kitchen doors.
Rainbow closed her eyes and put her hands on her temples. When she opened them again she zeroed in directly on the back of Jet Set’s head. She glanced at the table and back, and then to the bathrooms, and then the kitchen doors, and then back again.
One hand unscrewed and grabbed the ketchup bottle and the other grabbed the remaining milkshake. The two other boys glanced at her, then each other, then back at their phones. Rainbow stepped over to Jet.
“Listen here you miserable fucking cretin,” she threatened. “I oughta wring your wiry little neck with that scarf and then throw you through that window before smashing in every single one of your perfect little teeth for what you just did to my friend.”
“Mmhmm,” he replied, uninterestedly tapping away at his own phone. “Empty threats do you no help here, Rainbow Dyke. Everyone at CP knows about you two now, by the way.”
Her eye twitched. “You're right,” she said. “That was an empty threat. I don't wanna cause any property damage to the establishment. My friend works here and she loves it here and I’m sure she doesn't want to pick up broken glass. But there is something else she cleans up every single day...”
Rainbow dumped the ketchup over his head, and when he dropped his phone and stood up to face her, she splashed the shake in his face before pouring the last little bits onto his shoes and slamming the glass on his phone, shattering it.
“Oops.”
He wiped his eyes before glaring at her and clenching his fists.
Calmly. “You fucking bitch... this is a cashmere sweater worth more than every single thing you own. My shoes alone cost more than your mommy can make in a month sucking dicks out on street corners. That phone handles more money than you will ever see in your life.” He took a deep breath.
“I’LL KILL YOU!” he screamed, grabbing at her throat.
Rainbow ducked down as he lunged forward, then sidestepped and stuck her foot out, tripping him over. His face smashed into the wall and he stood back up, turned around, and swung a right hook. She dodged to her left before taking her right hand and jabbing him in the solar plexus, sending him doubled over.
“Twilight’s dress had more sentimental value to it than you have in your entire wardrobe. Her phone is full of more good memories than you'll ever experience in your life. And her happiness...” she leaned down and whispered in his ear. “Is worth more to me than all the money you'll ever make.”
She stood and turned to walk to the bathrooms when she heard him shouting. She faced him again to see him charging at her, rolled her eyes, pulled her right arm back, and punched him square in the face, sending him sprawling backwards.
“Don't get up again, Jet,” she condescended. “Don't make this as much of an embarrassment as last year’s tennis tournament.” And with that she rushed to the bathrooms.
/x/x/x/
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You know, this is a fairly good story. Might be the littlest bit incomplete, I'm not sure but for the most part this chapter sorta tells everything that needs to be told.
8549247
I wanted to open with a flashback to Twilight asking Rainbow out but I retroactively came up with a better way to do that but yeah rereading it made me think it was a bit incomplete but I was compulsively driven to finish all of my wip chapters; there's significantly more to this story but I wanted at least part of it out, you know? is there anything specifically that you're not getting that I can go back and edit for clarity or something?
8549293
Honestly, it just feels incomplete in some ways with that little confrontation between Rainbow and Jet Set at the end. A bonus chapter might be in order.
8549352
Well this is only chapter 1, and the meat of the story has yet to begin. If this was on ffnet it'd be labeled as hurt/comfort, the terrible date going wrong is just the beginning.
8549535
Honestly, I swear this site needs a hurt/comfort tag...
Wow, if your intention was to make us (readers) hate Jet Set, then you clearly succeeded. What he did was so not cool...though...I guess it worked well in setting up the conflict in any event.
Anyway, I'll say that this is really well-written so far, and both Twilight and Rainbow were fairly well-written. While TwiDash isn't a ship I go crazy over, if the story itself is good, then I'll enjoy it.
I didn't realise until I got to the author's notes that you were the same author who wrote 'Stupid Girl' and sent me that PM on how Rainbow Dash and others could be written as being autistic. Though given some of the subtext in this story, I can see you're still keeping to that headcanon here as well.
I'm curious, are you gonna continue 'Stupid Girl' or focus only on this story from now on...or possibly do both at the same time? Either way I'll start to track this one from now on.
...to the yard
...sorry...just had to do that...
8549666
Knighty had a reason why there is none back in like 2013 but I forgot it, but yesss I would read the crap out of that tag.
8550499
My intention wasn't to influence anybody's opinion but the preppy douchebag was just the punching bag this story needed to get to the juicy part. I'm sorry Twilight bby, u deserve so much better!
Thanks; I'm glad to know it's still staying somewhat realistic and true to the characters. After writing a ton of Dusk I was worried I wouldn't do well with sci-twi. I do like Twidash actually but I get the feeling entirely.
Yup, that's me :D this is actually kind of a sequel to Stupid Girl but not a direct one. This does take place in the same continuity though, chronologically. And yeah, that headcanon is pervasive in all my works. Dusk and Rainbow in my fireflies au are autistic; it's the source for a lot of my Twidash ship fuel. Twilight's in a bit of sensory hell right now and is gonna need mama Dash's intervention.
I'm doing all my fics currently. The running blog post on my user page shows the progress of each one I'm writing. The four up right now are the biggest priorities, although there's a chance that my next palate cleanse chapter will be my Thunderlane X Lightning Dust fic because I just heart the "Only Dying" demo by Stone Temple Pilots for the first time and since the first act of that fic is inspired by the album the song is from and the song is perfect for the story so I got suddenly struck with inspiration for how to start it. But that one won't be my main focus until after This Day Was Going To Be Perfect is done and I can then officially start doing Dusk's Dawn and Dusk's Morrow. But I'm totally gonna be working on all of them intermittently depending on when more inspiration strikes. Thanks for the track
8550762
Damn right, it's better than yours
8549666
yeah, I was kinda surprised about that, too
Jet Set the Grade A douche.
Dead silence is never a good sign.