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Prologue: When Pink Met Pie1,382 words
Chapter 1: One Pink Two Pink Smart Pink New Pink989 words
Chapter 2: Everything and the Kitchen Pink1,316 words
Chapter 3: Meeting One1,276 words
Chapter 4: Meet and Potatoes1,035 words
Chapter 5: Pie in the Sky1,261 words
Chapter 6: Pinkin, Blinkin, and Nod929 words
Chapter 7: Pinkie in the Sky With Diamonds1,328 words

Chapter 2: Everything and the Kitchen Pink

Chapter 2: Everything and the Kitchen Pink

There was a loud burst of noise all at once as a loud alarm went off, the room filled with a strobing red light, and a bunch of Pinkies ran out of assorted rooms and made their way to the back of the building. Pink Press, having seen this coming, merely blew a strand of rather persistent pink mane out of her face, tucking it under her hat, and turned her attention to the original. “Don’t get too alarmed. It’s like a fire drill. Except the fire is a pony and the drill is getting everyone in the same room to keep a head count and make sure one of us isn’t being a complete tool. AGAIN,” she explained.

Pinkie, the original Pinkie, was holding her hooves to her ears and regarding the bustle of activity with all the curiousity of a cat seeing another cat for the first time. “SAY WHAT?!” she bellowed.

Press rolled her eyes, and motioned for Pinkie to follow her. Chart and Pinkwell had already filed in with the rest, and Press rounded a hallway corner in time to see the latter disappear into a set of double doors at the end of the corridor. After a few seconds, the alarm and lights went off, and Press turned her attention to her guest. “Just follow me, try to keep your hooves to yourself, please don’t stare, and for STARS SAKE don’t say Okie-Dokie-Loki.”

Pinkie nodded, making a flurry of gestures that Press interpreted as ‘taking the words out of her mouth, putting them in her coat pocket, zipping the pocket, taking off the coat, hanging the coat in the closet, and locking the closted door.’ Which simply agitated her more that it came so easily to her to understand that. “Whatever,” Press grumbled, walking her into the far room.

The double doors opened, and what Pinkie saw almost made her break her promise of not staring, even though her rather animated promise hadn’t included such, as before her sat at least three rows full of different iterations of herself. Unlike the Town Hall during the Mirror Pool fiasco, each one stood out as their own pony, despite the similar coloration and Cutie Marks. Some dressed differently, others had styled their mane rather particularly, as was the case with Pinkwell and Pie Chart, while others simply held themselves in a different air.

The far end of the room was a small stage with a podium, kind of like the Town Hall in Ponyville, though a bit less so. At the podium on her hind legs, stood another Pinkie that the original hadn’t been introduced to. Her hair was straight, yet business-short, a bit like Pinkie’s sister Marble. Pinkie only noticed her, however, when said pony called out. “YOU. The ‘original’ Pinkie Pie! Up here!” she commanded, in a voice a bit deeper than most Pinkies, though still recognizable as her own.

Pinkie Pie hopped up to the stage with her usual enthusiasm, standing next to the pony seemingly in charge, as Press plodded up the stage and sat in a chair set to the side. “What’s up?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“Since you are new here, I have a few things to say to you. First: understand that I do not take your claim as the ‘original’ on face value. We have a Code Alpha for a reason. Quite a few ponies in this room have made the same claim,” the head ‘Pinkie’ glared at a few as she spoke, who responded with various expressions of guilt and mischief. “So we have a few ways to weed out pretenders. My name is Pie Regard. I’m the leader, so to speak, of this little outfit. Welcome to Pinkie Anonymous,” she added, gesturing widely at the room full of clones. “Press!” she barked, not turning around.

The reported-to-be trotted across the stage with all the enthusiasm she didn’t have, until she stood next to their ‘leader’. “What.”

“What makes you think this is the ‘original’ Pinkie Pie?” Regard ask tensely.

“Um, because she showed up with the rest of the Elements of Harmony?” Press deadpanned.

There was a large wave of gasps and murmurs across the room at this statement, which was hushed by Regard raising a single hoof. “You say that, but why should I believe you?”

Pink rolled her eyes, as she knew Regard’s doubts were less out of distrust and more out of a deep-set sense of paranoia she’d bred through many false alarms and close encounters. “Look, my boss, Buried Lede, took me to interview a bunch of ponies responsible for the opening of that new boutique downtown. Turns out it’s owned by Rarity. We spent all midday interviewing the Elements, by which I mean he did all the asking and I hid in a booth while a very nice waitress brought me waffles under the table. You want to ask someone, ask him. Hell, just keep an eye out for the paper later this week. And don’t get me started on the long-winded line of bullshit I had to feed my boss when he realized who he was talking to.”

“And this, Buried Lede, is he your Contact?” Regard asked.

“What’s a Contact?” Pinkie Pie asked, again getting frustrated at the thought of being the only her that wasn’t saying anything.

Press looked past Regard and explained, “Each one of us is allowed to tell exactly one pony each about the whole clone thing. Other than that, we have to do our best to keep entirely out of each other’s lives and stay away from each other’s friends. At first we just pretended to be each other when the occasion arose, but as you can see, there’s way too many of us for that to be an option. SO we each get one pony who’s allowed to know about us being clones, so that we have someone who can help us keep our stories straight and out of trouble.”

“Ooh, like a Secret Keeper!” Pinkie exclaimed excitedly.

There was a loud voice at the back. “THANK YOU! FINALLY!”

“SHUT UP, PINKIE P.I.!” Regard barked.

“What did I say?” Pinkie asked quietly, off-put.

Press rolled her eyes. “Not you. P.I. as in P and I. Private Investigator. Trust me, you get used to it.”

Regards stomped a hoof on the ground. “Enough! Fine, fine, fine! Let’s say you are the original! Better safe than sorry. If that’s true, then you need to understand that you must, and I mean MUST keep all of this a secret. Nopony can know about us!”

Pinkie Pie leaned on her haunches, and raised her hoof. “Cross my heart, hope to-”

“Nope, nuh-uh!” Regard interrupted. “Not good enough. I need the ultimate promise from you. The same one I make everypony here take when it comes to the Secret. You need to give me your Infinity End of the World Double-Layer-Cake Ultra Pink Secret Promise!”

Pinkie Pie gasped so loudly and so long that one thought she might float off and explode in the stratosphere. “But-but that’s only for super-DUPER emergency secrets!” she expclaimed.

Regards simply gestured to the crowd, who were all giving the stage their best serious face. Some much more serious than others.

Pinkie looked out at the crowd. Sure, she wanted to tell all her friends that there were a bunch more Pinkie Pies out there. But she also remembered that, if she did, they’d all have to disappear. Which wasn’t fair to them. They all looked like they’d built their own lives. Like they were their own ponies. Even as far back as the door to the room, where a couple of Pinkies stood guard, no matter where she looked, she didn’t see the one thing she was looking for: herself.

With a deep sigh, she put her hoof on her chest. “I PROMISE.”

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