Lessons in Chaos

by TobiasDrake

14 - A Much Needed Discourse

“Ugh, aren’t we there yet?” Trixie asked. “We’ve been walking all morning; my delicate hooves were never meant for this much hiking.”

Sunset Shimmer rolled her eyes and kept walking, but Twilight stopped. Confused, she asked, “Don’t you tow a wagon cross-country?”

“Yes, but that was when I knew where I was going. I wasn’t wandering aimlessly around hoping to find a tree in the forest!”

“We’re not aimless,” Fluttershy said. “It should be just over the next ridge.”

“That’s what you said four ridges ago!”

“Yes, it is,” Fluttershy agreed with a polite nod of her head. “Four ridges ago, I said there would be five ridges. We’re coming up on the last one now.”

Before Trixie could respond, Twilight addressed the group. “I know it’s been a long march, but this was the safest way to make this journey.” She wore a brown cloak to conceal her mane and as much of her tail as possible. At her insistence, the group had left their carriage near the Ghastly Gorge and made the rest of the journey on hoof.

She didn’t know if the Shield would still be in Ponyville, but the last thing she wanted was for Applejack and her Shieldmares to see Twilight Sparkle and a Royal Guardpony flying in from the north. The image of Spitfire’s fate stayed burned in her brain. She knew that if they were caught in the air, they would never get the chance to explain themselves.

“This is it,” Fluttershy announced as they crested the ridge. The path led to a stout tree nestled between several large rocks. Various melons and gourds dangled from ropes tied to its branches, swaying back and forth in the gentle forest breeze. Carved into the trunk was a small set of stairs which led up to a red door.

“Is there anything we need to know before we go in?” Flash asked, stopping at the crest. The group ceased moving with him, circling around Fluttershy.

Sheepishly, Fluttershy bowed her head and stepped away from the group. “Please don’t do that,” she told them. After taking a second to compose herself, she explained, “Um, you should know that Zecora might not be what you’re expecting. She’s…well, she’s different. And in some--”

“She’s a zebra,” Twilight said bluntly.

“Oh!” Fluttershy jolted up in surprise. “You know her?”

“I know her in my world,” Twilight corrected. “Although that’s probably not going to be of much help here.”

“What’s a zebra?” Trixie asked.

“You’ll see,” Twilight told her.

Fluttershy approached the front door alone, leaving her friends up on the hill. She knocked twice, then scraped her hoof along the side of the door in a digging motion. She heard jostling come from the other side of the door and then, shortly after, a voice called out through the wood, “Who out there treads upon my field?”

Without missing a beat, Fluttershy answered, “A light that shines on every shield.”

From behind the door came the sound of metal clicking and scraping against wood. Then, three seconds later, the door swung inward to reveal the home’s occupant. A light gray pony with black stripes stood behind the door. Her neck and her left foreleg were each adorned in a set of five golden rings, which matched the large earrings that hung by her neck.

Zecora threw the door open, gripping a flask in her left foreleg. Zecora’s foreleg pulled back as if to throw it, but as soon as she laid eyes upon the pegasus, suspicion turned instantly to shock. “Fluttershy?” she asked, lowering the flask. “Do my eyes deceive? To see you standing here, I can hardly believe.”

“Some parts of it are hard to accept,” Fluttershy admitted. She crossed the threshold and embraced her old friend. “It’s been a very strange journey to get here, and now my friends and I need your help. I hope you can keep an open mind; they might seem odd, some more than others, but they helped me escape from a terrible prison that we were being kept at. Can you help us?”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Zecora answered, “Of course, I can; bring your friends inside. You are welcome to any aid I can provide. I hope you can forgive me a moment’s hostility; this conflict has cost us all hope of civility. With Rarity as our foe, we cannot ensure that the old pass phrases will remain secure.” She placed the red flask on a table beside the door.

“I understand,” Fluttershy assured her friend. “Thank you.” She returned to the top of the hill, where she relayed this message to the group. Together, they started the trek down. Twilight stuck to the rear of the group, keeping her hood up to shroud her face.

“Well, that was easy,” Trixie commented.

Trixie was the first behind Fluttershy to enter the hut, with Flash Sentry following her. Sunset Shimmer passed through next. When it came Twilight’s turn to cross the threshold, however, Zecora reached out a hoof to stop her. “For what reason does this one hide her face?” she asked suspiciously. “There is no need for secrets in this space.”

“She’s shy,” Fluttershy said quickly.

“She’s a changeling!” Sunset Shimmer said at the same time.

“She’s diabetic!” erupted from Trixie’s snout.

Flash said nothing. He was fixated on the strange masks and vials that decorated Zecora’s hut. He stepped awkwardly around the large cauldron in the center, trying to keep a safe distance between himself and his surroundings. Without the familiar weight of his barding, his movements came clumsily, betraying more of his nerves than he would have liked.

Upon hearing these conflicting answers, Zecora narrowed her eyes. “Let me see you; there is nothing to fear. Weary travelers of all kinds may find respite here.”

“You might not think that way in a second,” Twilight said. She drew back her cloak, revealing her face.

As expected, Zecora’s entire body jolted at the sight. She lunged for the side table, grabbing up her red flask once more. Before she could toss it, however, Flash threw himself in front of Twilight. “What treachery is this?!” Zecora demanded. “What have you done?!”

“It’s not what you think,” Fluttershy pleaded. “Please, don’t run.”

“I’m not the Acting Princess,” Twilight said. She struggled to get the cloak off of her body. She gave Flash a small nudge to move aside and stepped forward, spreading her wings where Zecora could clearly see them.

Zecora’s eyes fixed on Twilight’s wings. In a stunned whisper, she said, “Oh my, I can see you are not. Her face bears the mark of all she has wrought. You must be the imposter who has caused so much fuss. What brings such a creature to be here with us?”

“I’m not exactly a changeling either,” Twilight admitted. “It’s complicated and I know I’m asking you to take a lot on faith, but I need you to believe me.”

Zecora moved quickly to the shelves behind her, sorting through powders and potions. She returned with a gourd nestled in the crook of her foreleg. There was a large hole in one end of the gourd and several smaller holes reminiscent of a salt shaker on the other.

Zecora took a seat in front of Twilight to free her forelegs, then raised the gourd with both hooves and blew in the large opening. A bright pink powder cloud sprayed out from the other end, coating Twilight’s face. She choked as the dust entered her lungs and squeezed her eyes shut against it.

“Hmm, I can see that your protest reads true,” Zecora said. Twilight opened her eyes to see that the cloud had condensed. It floated between her and Zecora, but had been dramatically changed. A black stormcloud had replaced the bright pink color. Jolts of brown and red lightning shot back and forth through it. If Twilight looked close enough, she could see sharp angles and indescribable colors reminiscent of the Space Between. “A far graver magic, I see inside you.”

The vision stunned Twilight. She reached out to touch the cloud, but a painful jolt of red lightning struck her hoof, forcing it away. She knew without a doubt that this was the chaos magic that had infected her body.

Diplomatically, Zecora asked, “Why don’t you sit down and weave me a tale. I am eager to hear of your escape from jail. No pony has ever returned from exile. To be standing here now must have taken great guile.”

“We’d be delighted to,” Twilight said. To Trixie, she whispered, “Diabetic? Really?”

Sheepishly, Trixie admitted, “I panicked.”

If nothing else, the familiar decorations inside Zecora’s home came to Twilight like a breath of fresh air. In this one place in all of Equestria, nothing had ever changed. Everything was exactly as Twilight remembered it. Once again, she found herself longing for home.

---

“Oh, Good morning, Applejack.” Fluttershy found her friend trotting down Ponyville’s main street, headed towards the central plaza under the noonday sun. “And to you as well, Spike. Are you both on your way to the library?”

“We got Rainbow Dash’s message this morning!” Spike answered. He walked just to Applejack’s side with a visible bounce in his step. “Twilight—I mean, the other Twilight, the fake Twilight, she wants to see us all! I think she might have come up with a way to bring our Twilight home!”

Applejack huffed. She visibly did not share Spike’s optimistic sentiment. “Y’reckon she and Discord actually worked somethin’ out this time? Or are we just in for another update to let us know they ain’t got nothin’ to update us on?”

“Come on, Applejack,” Spike pleaded. “Don’t be so grim. Maybe they actually found something!”

“Discord did come over for tea the other day,” Fluttershy noted.

“Did he say anything about Twilight?” Spike asked.

Applejack rolled her eyes. “You tell him to quit draggin’ his hooves?”

“My friends were hoping you might have an update for us,” Fluttershy said cheerfully. “Applejack’s terribly worried about Twilight.”

“Hmph!” Discord snorted, folding his arms and turned away from Fluttershy. The teacup in his talon sloshed upwards, but the fluid folded on itself and returned harmlessly to the cup, refusing to stain Fluttershy’s furniture. “I bet she thinks I’m dragging my hooves, doesn’t she?!”

“Oh no,” Fluttershy assured him. “She knows how hard this must be. She would never try to pressure you.”

“I’m sure. Well, why don’t you tell Applejack that if she thinks she can do a better job, then she’s welcome to try. Maybe if she kicks enough trees, a Princess will fall out! She can do that and I can keep combing the vast expanse of infinite possibility searching for a single piece of hay in a stack of needles!”

Fluttershy smiled. “He said that finding Twilight is a very complicated ordeal and he politely asked for our patience.”

“I’m sure,” Applejack answered dryly. “Patience is for growin’ season. We got a missin’ pony; that’s the time to hustle!”

“That’s true,” Fluttershy admitted. “But you shouldn’t lose hope. Discord’s doing everything he can, and the, um…the other Twilight is helping.”

“Ain’t we got a name for her yet?” Applejack asked. “We can’t just keep callin’ her Other Twilight or Fake Twilight or Twilight on the Rocks.”

“I know that,” Fluttershy said sadly. “But even if we agreed on a name, we can’t make that decision for her. She deserves to be part of that conversation. But she’s been so terribly busy and Rarity and I agreed that we shouldn’t bother her about that right now. We can have that discussion once Twilight comes home.”

“Don’t reckon I can argue with that,” Applejack admitted. The more time the rock had to work on the problem of Twilight’s disappearance, the sooner they could all put this behind them. Assuming they actually had made any progress this time, that is. As the library came into view, Applejack sighed. “Might as well get this over with.”

---

Applejack and her friends gathered around the library’s central table, eyes fixed to its new decoration. The Crystal Mirror, which Twilight had once used to enter the human world, rested in the back across from the fireplace. The same question was on everypony’s mind as they entered and saw the mirror: could this be the hope that they had all been waiting for?

“Thank you for coming, everypony,” the illusory Twilight greeted, descending the stairs. “I’m glad you all could come. I wanted to take this time to update everypony on our progress. I’m afraid it’s still a work in progress.”

Applejack glanced at Fluttershy. She said nothing, but the droop of her eyelids said it all. Just like she said: they had nothing. Again.

“I wanted to thank Pinkie Pie for her suggestion,” Twilight continued. “I’ve been researching the effects of the Crystal Mirror, but I hadn’t considered the possibility of utilizing it for this purpose before. However, I am sorry to report that ‘quantum cupcakes’ are still not an actual scientific concept.”

“That’s only because you’re looking,” Pinkie Pie explained firmly. To Rainbow Dash beside her, she whispered, “They stop being cupcakes when you see them.”

“As some of you know…” Twilight said, glancing awkwardly at Applejack. “… Ever since the incident with Sunset Shimmer, I’ve been looking into the history and metaphysics surrounding the Crystal Mirror. There’s not much information to be found, but a few old journals do refer to what I believe to be the properties we’re dealing with. Let me explain.”

“Do you have to?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Twilight cleared her throat for effect. “Over a thousand years ago, Star Swirl the Bearded discovered something incredible. Another reality existed concurrently with our own, but it was only accessible for short periods of time. Every thirty moons for a span of three days, this other world would brush against ours, creating overlaps in our relativistic fields of matter.”

Applejack blinked. “You reckon you should run that by us again?”

“Think of it like astrophysics,” Twilight said.

“Nerd stuff,” Rainbow Dash replied. “Got it.”

Twilight gestured to the center of the room. An illusory sun appeared just over the table, while an illusory moon appeared at the ceiling. “Every morning, Princess Luna sets the moon. At the same time, Princess Celestia raises the sun.” The two stellar objects floated along their courses, with the moon setting as the sun rose. Twilight froze the bodies as they neared one another. “For a brief moment, these stellar objects pass one another.”

“You had us at nerd stuff,” Rainbow Dash whined.

“Our realities follow a similar principle. They exist in a non-physical space somewhere outside of physical space, or something like that. Discord explained this to me and getting a straight answer out of him is like pulling teeth, but the theory does match up to some of what I’ve read. Star Swirl designed a spell that would, when our realities aligned with one another, tear open the fabric of reality and allow passage from one to the other.”

“And that’s where the mirror came from,” Rarity concluded. “You know, I have wondered.”

“Well, not initially,” Twilight corrected. “But after some time using the spell, Star Swirl must have concluded that it would be unsafe to travel to the other world himself. Magic doesn’t work the same way there as it does here. If Star Swirl had entered the human world, he would have been stranded without his horn, unable to reopen the portal and return to Equestria. He would have had to find a way to stabilize the connection from this side before exploring the other world would even become an option.”

Twilight looked up in wonder at the mirror towering over the group. “Our ancient history is littered with various accounts of ancient monsters and magical artifacts that vanished from existence. I believe it’s probable that at least some of these may have found their way into the human world. The Mirror activates itself whenever our worlds align and it’s been around even after Star Swirl himself mysteriously vanished. Any number of ponies could have used it to cross over in the last thousand years.”

“I don’t mean to sound rude,” Fluttershy said. “But what about the creatures living in that other world? Letting dangerous things cross through the portal doesn’t sound very responsible of him.”

Twilight blinked. This was the first time she’d ever heard Star Swirl’s nobility impugned. She wasn’t sure exactly how to answer it. After a few seconds of consideration, she settled on, “He probably didn’t know that at the time. Besides, I’m sure he wouldn’t have sent anything truly dangerous over there. I mean, I was there for three days, and I didn’t see a world under attack by sirens or entranced by the Staff of Mortality!” She snorted.

“I suppose you’re right,” Fluttershy conceded. “You probably would have noticed that.”

Twilight beamed proudly. “All things considered, the Crystal Mirror is a remarkable innovation in the field of enchantment. It might even be one of the greatest things that Star Swirl ever created, and let me tell you, he--”

“We get it,” Rainbow Dash groaned. “It’s cool, Star Swirl’s cool, can we use it to find Twilight or not? ‘Cause that’s kinda why we’re here.”

“Of course,” Twilight said. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I could talk about Star Swirl all day! But that’s not why you’re here, so excuse me. In any case, I hypothesized that this connection might be the key to finding our missing friend.”

“You’re suggesting that Twilight’s stranded in that other world?” Rarity asked. “Ugh, how ghastly.”

“No,” Twilight replied. “That would be much easier to solve. Our friend is…well, how to put this….”

“She’s on JUPITER!” Pinkie Pie blurted out.

“Yes!” Twilight announced. “That’s an outstanding metaphor. Although, personally, I would place her somewhere in the asteroid belt. The point is, going back to our sun and moon metaphor, she’s in a reality far away from here. The place she’s at is never going to intersect our world. There is no connection from here to there. Wherever she is, the Crystal Mirror will never open to it on its own.”

“That doesn’t sound too terribly helpful,” Rarity observed.

“It’s not. At least, not with how the mirror exists today. However, before I….” Twilight stumbled over her words, catching herself. “Before she disappeared, our friend was exploring ideas for a way to improve on Star Swirl’s original design. In theory, manually opening a portal through the Crystal Mirror should be possible. The logic is sound. But without a cosmic overlap, we would need to establish our own connection between our world and the reality we’re targeting. We need some kind of magical conduit that we can follow from here to there in order to build a bridge between two worlds.”

Applejack and Rarity shared a glance. Twilight could tell that she was losing them. “Think about the way Spike exchanges our letters with Princess Celestia. The spell creates a temporary tunnel in space between his dragonfire and the Princess. It follows a magical connection to bridge Spike and Princess Celestia’s locations, wherever those happen to be. Then the letter simply moves from one space to the other through that connection.”

“And that’s how the Mirror works?” Applejack asked.

“Exactly! The only difference with the Mirror is that it’s linked geographically across different realities. The enchantment Star Swirl the Bearded placed on the Mirror connects it to a specific surface in the human world.”

“So y’reckon you can use all this magic knowhow to make a ‘bridge’ to Twilight?”

“No,” Twilight replied. “That’s the problem. Think about it: what connects this reality to her? What do we have in this world that could be used to reach her? If Spike were with her, then we’d be able to trace the signal from his existing link with Princess Celestia in this world and use that to find him. But we don’t have anything we could use to locate her.”

“What about you?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Rarity piped up. “She raises an excellent point. You have spoken at length about being a perfect copy of our Twilight. Could we not use you for the enchantment?”

“I wish it were that simple,” Twilight said. “That would be so much easier. But there isn’t a connection between me and her. If there was, I’d be able to see through her eyes and relay things she knew. I can’t. The way my enchantment works, I copied her once and that was it. There’s no lingering connection between her and me. I’m sorry.”

The dour mood returned, filling the library. Twilight opened the journal in front of her. “I’ve been poring through my notes, looking for anything that might provide that sort of connection. I’ve already considered the Element of Magic, but it--”

“Why not us?” Applejack asked. Her eyes brightened and her voice rose enthusiastically. For the first time today, she found herself with hope. “There any reason we can’t use us? Twilight’s always goin’ on about friendship bein’ the most powerful magic and whatnot. There ain’t a way we can use that?”

“We’re the connection,” Rarity said, following the logic.

Fluttershy suggested, “We could open the portal, then go through and find her. Like a search party.”

Pinkie Pie gasped. “Oh my gosh, you guys. We can have a Search Party FOR OUR SEARCH PARTY!!!”

“That’s not going to work,” Twilight said grumpily. She hated how obvious the answer sounded. She should have been the one to come up with it. “At least, it won’t work the way you think it will. The theory is sound. But we can’t send you through the portal if you’re powering the bridge. We could lose the connection as soon as you stepped through. You might not even make it to the other side before the bridge collapses. You could wind up lost in some other reality, just like she was.”

“There are seven of us,” Rarity mused. “Surely, you don’t need all of us together to keep the portal open.”

Twilight followed Rarity’s glance to Applejack. There was truth in Rarity’s suggestion, but something inside her resented that truth. “We have no way of knowing what you’d even find on the other side,” she pleaded for reason, not even fully understanding why she was arguing with this. Darkly, she said, “We don’t even know if she’s…”

Before Twilight could finish, Applejack retorted, “If she ain’t, then it seems to me like this won’t work nohow. I reckon we can get it set up and if’n it works, then we know.” Applejack glanced down at Spike, appearing to be lost in thought. She suggested, “Y’just said a moment ago that Spike can send his letters across the distance, right?”

“In theory,” Twilight reiterated. “When I visited the human world, the shift in metaphysics transfigured his body into that of a dog. We wouldn’t have been able to test my theory due to the change in his physiology. You should realize that something like that could still happen on the other side of the portal.”

Applejack nodded. “I’ll take Spike with me, then. We find Twilight and he can send a letter to the Princess, sayin’ to open it up again ‘cause we’re ready to come home. So we get to the other side, then we can try sendin’ a sheet of parchment. That don’t work, the portal will be right there. We can come back and think of somethin’ else.”

Deep inside the pit of Twilight’s petrified heart, an emptiness grew. Something about this trip filled her with dread. She knew that the plan would work. Everything that had been proposed made sense and having four of Twilight’s friends here would surely provide a strong enough connection through the Magic of Friendship to open the portal. It all made sense. So why did it frighten her so?

“I’ll go with you,” she offered, drawing everypony’s attention. She explained, “I’m not going to be of much use for opening the portal, but I might be able to help you on the other side.”

“Whoa whoa whoa!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “What about the rest of us? We’re just supposed to wait here while you go into danger?”

“We might have to leave in a hurry,” Twilight said. “In the event of an emergency, somepony will need to get to the Crystal Mirror to open it for us. There’s nopony who can reach it faster than you, Rainbow Dash.”

“Do you really need four of us for this?” Fluttershy asked.

No, she wouldn’t. That was the truth as Twilight knew it. If the theory held out, three would probably be sufficient. In fact, she wasn’t willing to rule out even two ponies being able to open the portal. And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to say this. There was no reason why it had to be just her and Applejack, but she wanted it to be. She needed it.

She looked at her friends. Each and every one of them looked back at her, waiting for her to answer. They were hanging on her words. They trusted her intelligence and her judgment. They believed in her, like true friends believed in one another.

“It has to be four,” she said finally. “Any less and we risk the bridge collapsing. We can’t take that chance.”

“I see,” Fluttershy said. “We won’t let you down.”

Why did she say that? Twilight felt a wave of guilt wash over her. It was an ugly feeling, lying to ponies who trusted her so much. And for what? What had she gained? Apart from an opportunity to be alone with Applejack, that is.

Well, her and Spike. But he doesn’t count. He’s barely even part of the group.

This was her chance to be depended on. Her chance to be relied upon. To show Applejack how useful she could be. Maybe even to save the day! She could be the hero this time. She could be the pony that everypony loved and revered. And all she had to do was lie to ponies who trusted her. Ponies who believed in her….

Each and every one of them would do the same thing in my place. I’ve done nothing wrong.

That was true. They had all lied to her before, after all. Except Fluttershy. Surely, this was no worse than what they’d done to her.

“Spike, you go on and send the Princess a letter on what we talked about,” Applejack said. “I need some time to tell my family what’s what. Don’t reckon they’ll be too thrilled about me bein’ gone for a spell, but they ain’t gonna fight me on it neither. Twilight’s one of us, no two ways about it.”

“What about Apple Bloom?” Rarity asked.

“You’re right, I don’t know how long we’re gonna be. She might need help from time to time,” Applejack admitted. “Rares, could you--”

“Of course I can,” Rarity said firmly, meeting her eyes. Applejack could feel a profound sense of kinship. She didn’t always get along with Rarity and in fact, some days she’d still very much rather be doing anything but talking to her. But despite everything that had come between them, there was a bond forged in fire that could never be broken again.

“We’ve got your back,” Rainbow Dash said cheerfully. “I’ll drop by the farm while you’re gone. See what I can do to lend a hoof.”

“OOH OOH OOH!!!” Pinkie Pie waved her forelegs ecstatically. “I can make you the biggest mountain of cupcakes you’ve ever seen!”

“How would I take that with me?” Applejack asked.

“You’d be surprised what I can cram in a saddlebag.”

“I don’t have anything to give you,” Fluttershy admitted mournfully.

Applejack embraced her. “That’s alright, sugarcube. You keep on hopin’ we can bring Twilight home safe and that’ll be all I need.”

“It sounds like we have a plan,” Twilight said. “I’ll head to the Crystal Empire tonight and work on setting up the portal overnight.”

“Wait, isn’t it right there?” Rainbow Dash asked, gesturing to the Crystal Mirror standing against the wall.

Twilight glanced up at the mirror above her. “Oh, no, that’s a prop.” She let her illusion fade, revealing a normal rectangular standing mirror with a wooden frame. “It’s the same height as the Crystal Mirror, so it’s been helpful for sizing up my equipment. I just thought I’d touch it up for everypony to illustrate my plan.

“The real mirror is still in the Crystal Empire, so we’ll need to meet there. I don’t sleep, so I can explain everything to Cadance when I arrive and then spend the night setting up the tools we’ll need for this. I want everypony to meet me in the Crystal Palace first thing tomorrow morning. If this works, Applejack and I will be setting hoof in a strange new world before breakfast.”

---

“And that’s that, everypony,” Applejack concluded. Supper had provided the perfect opportunity to address the family, and Applejack had not hesitated to take it. While the family around her dug into their meals, her plate of roasted asparagus and cheesy mashed potatoes sat untouched in front of her. “I reckon it might be askin’ a lot and I’m mighty sorry to be bailin’ on y’all but--”

“It’s Twilight,” Big Mac said simply before grabbing up three asparagus stalks with his teeth.

Applejack nodded. “Eeyup. It’s Twilight.”

“It ain’t like it’s nothin’ new,” Granny Smith said. She didn’t even look at Applejack. “You’re gonna go gallopin’ off to help save some who-dads from a whatsit and we’ll be right here like we always is, workin’ with our hooves in the dirt.”

Applejack shrank away from Granny’s words. She felt a pang of guilt strike her heart. She hated leaving her family holding her share of the work like this, but life kept coming between her and doing right by her family. Every time something came up and she had to run off, she couldn’t help but feel like she was letting them down.

“You’re gonna bring her back, right?” Apple Bloom asked.

Applejack smiled. At least her siblings understood, even if her granny didn’t. “Wild ponies couldn’t stop me, sugarcube,” she said, ruffling Apple Bloom’s mane with her hoof. Apple Bloom responded by holding her plate away from Applejack and scarfing her own cheesy potatoes, eying her sister suspiciously.

Granny Smith opened her snout to say something, but she was interrupted by a knock at the front door. “You got company comin’?” she asked. Applejack shook her head. Rising from her spot at the table, Granny grumbled, “Well, somepony’s about to learn not to come callin’ when supper’s on the table!”

Granny Smith opened the door to find the peculiar sight of Twilight Sparkle standing on the other side. Twilight gave the most innocent smile she could muster under pressure. “Good evening, Granny. Sorry if it’s not a great time. I know the family’s probably sitting down to supper right now.”

Granny snorted. Looking back at Applejack standing in the kitchen doorway, she asked, “This that magic rock doodad you been goin’ on about?”

“Oh, you’ve heard of me?” Twilight asked.

“I’ll take care of it,” Applejack said, crossing the living room. “Y’all stay here and finish up.” To Granny, she added, “Don’t let Apple Bloom get at my taters.”

“Ehh, you’d best get a move on,” Granny answered. “That filly’s a fiend for cheesy taters and I ain’t gettin’ my hoof bit off on account of it.”

Applejack stepped outside. A light drizzle fell from the sky, sprinkling the farm in nature’s shower. She paid it no mind, stepping down off the porch and into fresh mud, just beginning its transition from ordinary dirt. “Ain’t you supposed to be in the Crystal Empire?” she asked.

“The train doesn’t leave for another hour,” Twilight answered. Hesitantly, she added, “And I thought this might be a good time to talk.”

“Ain’t we been talkin’?” Applejack asked defensively. She wasn’t sure what to make of this sudden intrusion into her home situation.

“I don’t mean with the group,” Twilight said. “I want to talk to you. About earlier when--”

Applejack raised a hoof. Of course. The elephant in the room. “Listen, sugarcube. I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it. Bein’ like y’are must be a whole mess of confusin’, and pickin’ up where me and Twilight left off sure ain’t helpin’ ya none. I reckon there’s a whole lot of livin’ you gotta do to figure out what y’want to be with your life, and y’ain’t done that yet so of course it’s gonna be weird for you. I ain’t about to hold that against you. You got nothin’ to apologize for.”

“I didn’t come here to apologize,” Twilight said, raising an eyebrow.

“Beg pardon?”

Twilight sighed. “I didn’t want to talk about this in front of the others because it’s not really any of their business. This is about you and me and… well, the other me. I’ve been trying to find the words for days, but they just didn’t come out right. No matter how I tried to say it, no matter how many times, they didn’t….” She shook her forelegs in frustration.

“Might be best they don’t,” Applejack said. “You and me, we ain’t--”

“I LOVE YOU,” Twilight blurted out. “I always have. Ever since this all started, you’ve been on my brain. You’re everywhere in my mind’s eye. I can’t focus because everywhere I look, I see shadows of you.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t—”

“Your favorite food is an apple turnover!” Twilight shrieked. “Your favorite color’s green. You prefer historical dramas because you like hearing about their take on what happened. You don’t like science fiction novels because you think ponies need to spend less time dreaming about the future and more time working on getting there. My brain is filled with useless novelty facts and they’re all about you. There are entire files in my mind dedicated just to you. Because I love you.”

Twilight reached for Applejack, who quickly stepped back and held up a hoof to stop her. “No. You don’t. You got your head full of what you took from Twilight, but that ain’t real. It ain’t nothin’ you made for yourself. You got a seat up front to our problems, hers and mine, and I’m mighty sorry y’had to see any of that. But you gotta stop thinkin’ like you can be Twilight Sparkle and start figurin’ on who you’re gonna be when she comes home.

“So why don’t you go and do that,” Applejack concluded. “I got taters that’ll get ate if’n I don’t get back.” She turned away and took a step back towards the front porch, but the Twilight illusion flickered around to appear in front of her once more.

“You don’t understand,” Twilight said. “I know we’ve had our problems, but I’ve been contemplating this extensively and the conclusion I found was that you’re right. You think you’re holding her back and you’re right!” She gestured frantically with her hoof as though pointing to another pony. “She, her, she has this incredible future in front of her. She’s an alicorn princess now! She might get a kingdom of her own to govern. We don’t know!”

“This ain’t a road you want to go down,” Applejack warned.

Sitting on her haunches, Twilight held up her forelegs diplomatically. “I know. I know. It’s hard to hear, but you were right. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing! I mean, if you think about it logically, this all worked out better than you could have imagined!” She glanced at her hooves. “…well, once we bring her home, of course. Obviously, it’s not great now, but we find her, we bring her back, and then everything works out! It works because I’m your solution.”

Applejack stared into the flickering phantom. The more worked up she got, the less real she seemed. Parts of her image seemed to tug away just for a split second before reasserting themselves. Her left eye turned bright green only for a couple seconds before returning to purple. “When’s the last time you drained a pony’s magic?” Applejack asked carefully.

“It’s been a couple of days,” Twilight admitted. “I’ve been studying extensively. You know how it goes. But that’s not important!”

“Sounds important to me,” Applejack said. “It’s how y’keep from bein’ crazy. Twilight, bless her heart, she’s got crazy to spare sometimes. It ain’t about to do nopony no good, you gettin’ like that.”

“I’m fine,” Twilight growled. The color drained from her right front foreleg, turning it to gray. Agitated, she shook it twice, causing the purple to blink back in. “We’re here to talk about Twilight. You wanted to let her go live her life, and you were right. She can be the Princess she was meant to be. And then I can stay here with you. I can give you that cozy home life you wanted in a way that she can’t. We can be a family.”

It was true. For moons, Applejack had thought of it. Her heart was full of images that often found her in her dreams. Many a pleasant afternoon or an evening spent at their special place on the hill had left Applejack thinking about their happy domesticity.

The long days she spent tilling the fields while Twilight did her research or practiced her spells had been wonderful. The nights spent enthusiastically talking about what happened that day were among the best she’d ever had. Twilight adored Apple Bloom and got on so well with Big Mac and Granny Smith, and she was insatiably curious to know more about their family.

She never criticized Applejack for not doing things her way. If anything, she was eager to learn the family’s ways. She cared so much about academia, but she never judged Applejack for her failures in it. She never disparaged Applejack’s brawn; she respected it, even revered it.

It hadn’t been that long ago that Applejack had stood there in the Carousel Boutique, asking Rarity’s advice on how to get her mama’s wedding broach made into a unicorn’s horn ring. She knew that marriage would have been a big step, but in that moment, she felt as though it wouldn’t have. What she’d had with Twilight had been everything she ever wanted.

Perhaps that’s why the threat of change had frightened her so.

“I know you’re afraid,” Twilight continued. “You have every right to be. But it doesn’t have to end. What we had doesn’t have to end. All you have to do is let her go and you can be here with me. We can have the family you always wanted.” After a few seconds, she added, “Well, we can’t have foals. Not biologically. But that was always going to be a problem anyway! There are options to get around that, and there’s no reason you and I couldn’t hypothetically explore those together! If it matters to you.”

“You’re askin’ me to give up on Twilight?” Applejack asked.

“Not entirely! We’re still going to go rescue her. We go and get her, we make sure she’s safe, and then you and I can tell her the good news. You can be with Twilight through me. She gets her bright future, you get me. It makes the most logical sense, because everypony gets what they deserve this way.”

“You’re askin’ me to give up on Twilight,” Applejack said again. This time, it was not a question.

“To be with a perfect copy,” Twilight reiterated.

“No offense, sugarcube, but I don’t buy that,” Applejack said bluntly. “Y’keep usin’ them words, ‘perfect copy’. But that ain’t how I see it. Never have. That’s some sci-fi mumbo jumbo to try and make you think like y’can just make a new pony and have her be the same pony. But she ain’t. You ain’t. You might look like Twilight Sparkle and y’might talk like you’re her, but y’ain’t my Twilight.”

“Fine,” Twilight said, “I’m not going to argue. If that’s how you want to see it, then fine. So instead of being your 16^th special somepony, I can be number 17. That’s not that much of a difference, really.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Applejack asked. Something about the way she’d said that felt like a slap in the face.

“I meant no offense,” the phantom urged her. “I’m just saying that it can still work out. You and I can still be together. If anything, this makes it even more perfect! Think about it!” Her entire body flickered. A wave passed over the image, turning her purple skin blue as it moved. A harpsichord replaced the stars on her Cutie Mark. The stripes in her mane and tail turned white and pushed out to the side, taking up new positions.

Lyra Heartstrings took a step forward, explaining, “Once you get bored of Twilight, I can be number 18 too. And then I can be number 19. I can be anypony you want me to be, and that’s exactly what makes us perfect for each other.”

“That ain’t—”

In the blink of an eye, Lyra vanished. Applejack felt a light pressure on her neck. It felt faintly like the touch of a single hoof, which slowly trailed up to a spot just under her chin. To her left, she could see the hoof’s owner; a unicorn’s face with blue eyes and a purple mane filled her vision, close enough that she’d be able to feel her breath if the image could breathe. “Absolutely anypony, Darling.”

Applejack trembled at the touch. A shallow, primal part of her fought its way to the surface, reacting instantly to the illusion’s gesture. Ever since they were fillies, she’d always admired Rarity’s beauty. Even when she was with her first love, Crystal Chalice, she’d admired Rarity from a distance. There had always been a part of her that hungered for what she knew could not be had. Even when she hated Rarity, that part still admired her.

But that wasn’t who she was. That was lust, pure and simple, but it wasn’t love. “This ain’t right,” she asserted, pushing the phantom hoof away from her and jerking away. “There ain’t no part of this is right. Rarity’s… well, Rarity’s pretty as an orchard ripe for harvest, no two ways about that. But that ain’t your body, and you got no right to use it like that.”

“I’m trying to give you options!” the illusion insisted, flashing back into Twilight. “It doesn’t have to be Rarity! I just wanted you to see how flexible I can be. I can be whatever pony you feel like you’re into.”

“Is that what you think?” Applejack demanded. “Y’reckon I just mosey along from pony to pony like a cow at pasture? Y’think ‘cause I’ve been with a lot of ponies, I just wake up at sun-up and go, ‘I sure do have a hankerin’ for a pretty blonde this mornin’!’?”

“…is that not how it works?” the illusion asked.

Applejack stared dumbfounded at her. Never in her life had she felt so thoroughly insulted. “You listen here and you listen good. Sure, I’ve been with a lot of ponies. That’s a truth. And it’s a truth that I ain’t always done right by ‘em. Not all of ‘em lasted long enough to fall in love, neither. But I tried. I always tried. Celestia help me, each and every time, I tried.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“I know what you mean. You got Twilight mixed up in your brain and that means all you know is a life so charmed its servants have servants.” She growled. “You got no idea what it’s like to live with a hole in your heart won’t never mend. You got no right to judge me for wantin’ to have nights where it don’t got to hurt.

“Here’s another truth for you,” Applejack said plainly. “I had a life before I met Twilight. I ain’t about to apologize for that, not to you or nopony. Now I reckon it’d be for the best if you get on out of here before you dig yourself any deeper. That mirror won’t set itself up and whatever you think’s gonna happen here ain’t.”

Dejected, Twilight turned to leave. She flickered as she walked away, leaving no hoofprints in the mud beneath her. After ten feet, however, she stopped. She looked back at Applejack, her face contorted in a mean scowl. Bitterly, she said, “She’s never coming back, you know.”

Applejack felt a surge of panic mixed with the rage already coursing through her body. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded, racing to catch up to the illusion. “You know somethin’ you ain’t been sharin’ with the rest of us?” she accused.

“What I know is you,” Twilight answered with a sneer. “The time came to let her move on and you didn’t. You clung to her selfishly, because you couldn’t bear to be apart. And you made it worse, just like you knew you would. She’s gone, Applejack. She’s gone and it’s because of you. Just like your mother.”

There was no denying the cold sting that Applejack felt through her body. The words cut deeply, but she wasn’t about to let this shake her. After all, she was no stranger to closing her heart against feelings she was not prepared to feel. An iron mask slid over her features and with a cold voice, she said, “Look at that. You’re becomin’ your own pony already. The real Twilight never would have said a thing like that.”

The color literally drained from the illusion’s face, turning her head to gray. She blinked, stepping back from Applejack with realization dawning in her eyes. “Applejack, I--”

“You can get off my property now.”

No word of resistance was offered. No argument was made. The illusion simply faded out of sight, leaving Applejack alone in the drizzling rain.

---

Applejack stood in the living room for a minute after the door had closed behind her. She wanted to rejoin her family in the kitchen, but she couldn’t bring herself to eat now. Not after what just--

“Applejack?” Applejack jolted at the voice behind her, punctuated by the sound of the front door opening once more.

She whipped around, putting a hoof to her heart to try and calm its beating. “Granny?! What in tarnation are you doin’ out there?”

Granny Smith entered, kicking the door shut with her hind leg. The somber look about her chilled Applejack to her core. Granny was a pony full of fire and vinegar. Applejack had seen her frothing mad more times than she could count, but rarely did she see her downtrodden. But now, there was a wound in her voice when she asked, “Why don’t we have a talk upstairs?”

In the comfort of Applejack’s bedroom, Granny Smith took a seat beside the bed. After supper, Spike had been planning on helping Apple Bloom fix the wheelbarrow, so there was little threat to privacy. Still, Applejack remained on edge. Granny’s demeanor didn’t—

“I heard what y’all said out there,” Granny said quietly.

“You were spyin’ on us?” Applejack asked.

“Y’ain’t been yourself in weeks and you won’t say how nor why! You’re darned right, I been spyin’!” There was the fire. Strangely, hearing Granny Smith erupt like that set Applejack’s nerves at ease.

“Granny--”

“Quit your yappin’ and let me talk. I know you and I don’t talk a lot about the mares in your life. Now, I don’t got to guess why that is; I ain’t senile yet, y’know! Got a good twenty years left in these old bones!”

“I know, Granny.”

“But when I heard what that that pony said about your mama, I was about ready to get out the fryin’ pan! Applejack, you don’t really believe that sack of rubbish?”

“It ain’t simple, Granny,” Applejack admitted.

“Sure, it is! Your mama loved you more than life itself and there ain’t nothin’ more to be said about it!”

“I know that,” Applejack replied. At this point, she felt she’d much rather be anywhere but having this conversation right now.

“When was the last time you went up and saw her?” Granny Smith asked. There was that question again.

“I ain’t been,” Applejack answered truthfully. “Not since….”

Granny Smith glowered. Applejack could tell she didn’t appreciate that answer. “Well, perhaps I am gettin’ a mite bit senile, ‘cause I can’t think of a single reason why y’wouldn’t. Your mama gave up everythin’ she had to be right here for this family! She ain’t never given you nothin’ but love and respect and she--”

“It ain’t her!” Applejack interjected. “It ain’t Mama. It’s me.” Having to talk about this under the iron gaze of the family matriarch left Applejack feeling tremendously embarrassed. She felt like a foal in trouble for playing too hard and breaking the lamp. “The problem’s me. When we lost Mama, I messed up everythin’. I got myself kicked out of school and--”

“And what?” Granny Smith asked. “You think your mama’d be disappointed ‘cause of schoolin’?”

When she put it like that, it sounded silly. Applejack reiterated, “Mama had a dream for me. She had one all my life growin’ up. I was supposed to be the first Apple to go to a big fancy school for learnin’. That’s all she wanted from me, and I messed that up.”

Where she’d hoped to see sympathy on Granny Smith’s face, there was only consternation. “What kind of codswallop have you been feedin’ yourself?!” she demanded. “You think your mama’s spinnin’ in her grave, bless her heart, ‘cause of you gettin’ kicked out of your school? That idea about a fancy school wasn’t her dream, Applejack! It was yours! She only ever cared about it ‘cause of how much you cared!”

Applejack blinked. That certainly wasn’t how she remembered it.

Granny explained, “You got the wanderlust in ya. Y’always have. Ever since you was a tiny sprout, you’ve been yearnin’ for somethin’ bigger than this place. Your mama saw that. We all did. So the schoolin’ didn’t work out. That just means it weren’t right for you. Just like how Manehattan wasn’t right for you.”

“I ain’t meant to wander, neither,” Applejack argued. “I found my purpose and it’s right here at home. This is where I belong. Ain’t nothin’ good’s never come from strayin’ from it.”

“’Course it’s where you belong!” Granny Smith chided. “This here’s your home. Your problem is, you think you gotta make a choice. Look at where y’are now! They got you up on a painted window in Canterlot! You’re shakin’ hooves with Princesses and then gallopin’ off to save all of Equestria. That’s your calling, Applejack. You’re doin’ what you were always meant to do. Why, if your mama could see you now, she’d be the proudest apple in Ponyville!”

“You mean that?” Applejack asked.

“All your mama ever wanted was for you to be happy. Don’t matter if it’s here or somewhere else. Don’t matter if it’s both. There ain’t nothin’ wrong with doin’ what gots to get done and then comin’ right back home to your family.”

“There ain’t, is there?” Applejack asked. She felt a strange sense of validation in her Granny Smith’s words.

“’Course there ain’t! Bein’ an Apple don’t mean you gotta be doin’ what you do here all your life. Look at your sister, she’s got it figured out. When she’s not workin’ the farm, she’s out there with those friends of hers gettin’ in all mess of trouble. She ain’t ashamed to be who she is and an Apple besides!”

Wistfully, Applejack replied, “She ain’t, is she?” Granny Smith had given her a lot to think about. “Thank you, Granny,” she said. There was a lightness to her body when she stepped forward to embrace Granny Smith, as if a great and terrible weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

Granny Smith took the hug and squeezed her granddaughter tightly, patting her shoulders with her forelegs. “Oh, and for what it’s worth,” she added. “Twilight. I like her.”

Applejack smiled. “I like her too, Granny.” In a strange way, Applejack felt better than she ever had been. For years since her mother passed away, she’d dreaded ever having to talk to Granny Smith about this. And yet, now that it was over, she wished she’d done it sooner. She felt a strange sense of closure in hearing about her mother. The conversation had shed a new light on past regrets she’d carried for years.

There was only one question still burning in her mind. “Apple Bloom ate my taters, didn’t she?”

“Oh, Applejack,” Granny Smith said, patting her shoulders some more. “They were gone as soon as y’got up from the table.”

---

“Why did I say that?!” Twilight shouted in the echoing library, but the pain in her petrified heart failed to relent. She screamed in her solitude, letting her pain echo through the library’s foyer. After five minutes of pure guttural rage, Twilight collapsed in a ball beside the stairs. She sobbed phantom tears, droplets forged of pure despair that wouldn’t even give her the dignity of being real. “How could I be so stupid?” she asked herself.

It’s hardly my fault if that dim-witted bumpkin can’t see reality when it’s right in front of her eyes.

That much was true, she supposed. Applejack, for all her virtues, was hardly the most intellectual pony she’d ever known. It should be no surprise that she couldn’t see the logic. But she hated thinking of her that way; it felt mean-spirited. Besides, some of what she said tonight had--

It doesn’t matter. I’m going to be alone with her soon enough. That’s opportunity enough.

Yeah. That’s right. She’d convinced the others to let her and Applejack go through the portal by themselves. Well, they’d have Spike, but—

Spike doesn’t count. He’s not even a pony. He’ll buy whatever I feed him.

That was right. She was right. Soon enough, Applejack would see who the best Twilight Sparkle really—

Twilight looked up from her solace to see a library torn apart. Several shelves had been cleared off, their contents laying scattered on a carpet of ripped out pages. “No!” she shrieked as despair gave way to blind panic. She raced to the nearest book and laid it out on the table. The Complete Works of Feather Beret was an ancient relic. Its pages were older than Princess Celestia herself, and now half of them had been broken off from their binding by a forceful impact with the ground.

She could see the gaps in the shelves where the books had been thrown from. They looked as though a pony’s foreleg had swept through and shoved, with zero care for what was being destroyed. The table itself had been cleared off in the same fashion; her journals and reports lay amid the rest of the paper victims.

What had she done? How could she have done this? She had been terribly hurt when she arrived back at home, but she couldn’t imagine what would compel a pony to wreak such carnage against such innocent targets. But there was nopony else who could have. Even Spike was with Applejack out at the farm.

Twilight looked upon her works. She knew it to be her work. And she suddenly found herself very afraid.

Comments

[Yami Vizzini]

Well, this trip is clearly going to go very well. Yep, Twilite is becoming her own pony, and not for the better.

At least AJ may finally be on the verge of snapping out of this “I’m not worthy” cycle (thanks Granny!).