Rainbow Dash felt every small crack as it ran along the ice that was mostly her own body. It was a small mercy that the flash-freezing had dulled her nerve-endings, preventing the pain responses from ever reaching her brain. From her point of view, the scene seemed to still, Twilight's panicked cry frozen in mid air as the weird china doll and Rarity cowered in a corner, halfway towards reaching out to her. All of it suspended in a moment, just as the vampire clenched down, completely shattering the ice, and the Pegasus' being with it.
It was a strange sensation, dying. Though she could not feel any pain, that was precisely the issue. There was simply nothing. A black void stretching out into eternity, save for a warm, chiming tone just on the edge of perception, a glow beckoning forth from the distance. Was this the stereotypical 'light' that seemed to crop up whenever death was concerned in a novel? If so, Rainbow could honestly say that she didn't care for it. It was too slow, creeping forwards at a snail's pace. Not that it mattered. Speed, distance, time, space, reality. None of it mattered in this state of nonexistence. As the light drew closer, the tone increased in volume as the Pegasus could discern a shape in the light. It wasn't a beautiful Alicorn. It wasn't a giant, divine being of light. No, what came towards her was simply a ghostly green mare, comforting light of every shade and colour seeming to embrace Rainbow as it came close. Behind it lay a square gateway of much brighter, pure white radiance.
Her Stand, though it lacked a mouth, gave off an oppressive aura of despair, of apology, of excitement. Without a word, she inclined her head at Rainbow Dash, stepping forward to capture her master in an embrace. Rainbow smacked her lips. "So, uh...This is kinda it, huh?" she said. A nod. The dying mare nodded back, sighing. "I thought it'd be more, y'know? Something more like...I dunno, fighting a giant monster that was gonna eat Canterlot whole! A hero's sacrifice or whatever. Not this! What did I accomplish, huh?! Nothing! I attacked, I died, and now the others are gonna die too, and it's just...It's not fair!" Rainbow Dash sobbed, crying like she had rarely done in life. The Stand simply floated, content to remain hugging her master until she was ready to move on. "I was gonna be part of the Wonderbolts! I was gonna have a fan-club, inspire ponies around Equestria! Not...Not just die! I just got accepted in; it was my trial performance in like three weeks, and I was going to practice all day today. Then Twilight roped me into this and now i'm...No... No, it isn't Twilight's fault." She laughed bitterly, looking up at her Stand with watery magenta eyes. "I just got you, too. An awesome ghost with superpowers, and I don't even know what you do! How pathetic can I get, huh?" she said, blowing a small raspberry at the end of her sentence.
The green ghost tilted its head curiously, and a series of images flashed through Rainbow's mind, getting the Stand's point across without words. The Pegasus cocked an eyebrow, glancing at the ghost with a bemused expression. "I mean yeah, I'd kinda like to know what you could do. I'm gonna be ticked off if it woulda saved me, though." The ghost's eyes seemed to curve as her body shook, a kind of silent laughter as more images passed between the two. Rainbow gasped. She saw an image of herself, actually connecting the punch she had been going for. She saw herself standing over Pinkie's body as the clothes disappeared. She saw everyone get up, happy and together again, before the Rainbow in the image fell, seemingly dead. Before she knew it, more tears spilled over the edges of her vision. Images of words went by, a scrolling wall of text that got a final message across. "You...Already used it? I went back in time, and won?" The Stand nodded in affirmation. "Then...Why am I dead?" To this, more text appeared. 'Fate is unalterable once it has happened a single time. To go back and fix your mistake, you still had to perish. This way, however, you at least saved your friends.' it read.
Rainbow sighed in relief, wiping the tears from her eyes and putting on a humoured, cocky grin. "Welp. At least I got to help out. Can't say i'm happy about the whole dying thing, but I guess i'm ready to go now. No point in hangin' around here anymore. Let's see if whoever created me can handle my awesomeness in the flesh, hm?" she laughed mirthfully, turning towards the gate of whiteness. Taking one last moment to think of all the lost time, all of Pinkie's parties she'd never get to visit; all the books she'd pretend to hate; every tussle with AJ; all of the lunchtimes at Fluttershy's... Gulping and straightening herself out, Rainbow blinked back the last of her tears and took one final breath before stepping bravely into the beyond, the gate closing and leaving the Stand behind, alone.
What she would never know, however, was her Stand's true ability. It was nothing so complex as turning back the clock, changing destiny, any of that. No, her ability was simple. She existed for the sole reason of making sure her master had the one thing that every creature wished to have: Peace of mind. Comfort. It broke her apart to lie to her master like that, but at least she went forth happy and content, safe in the knowledge that her death hadn't been for nothing. If only.
In the void of night, the final light winked out, vanishing along with her fallen master and leaving the space in total darkness once more.
In Canterlot, two sisters felt something break, shattering into a million tiny pieces. Shock. Terror. Creeping dread. Cancelling any meetings or prior obligations, the two Alicorns teleported next to each other, eyes locked fearfully. Turning to face the display, they bore witness to the one event that they'd never hoped to see in their lifetime. It was much too soon to say goodbye! Surely not!?
But alas, there it lay. The Element of Loyalty had fallen from its stand, gem turned black and shattered upon the velvet lining.
No noise, not a word needed to be said. Feeling distinctly weak in the knees, the taller of the two fell at the side of the younger, having known the mare just long enough to grow somewhat more attached to her than any of the other subjects that she oversaw, save for the rest of her friends. Such a powerful light, a great driving force...Gone.
The smaller Alicorn frowned, an attitude a millennia behind the times coming to the forefront. Her sister would no doubt demand a trial, life imprisonment in the deepest depths of the dungeon. She knew better, however. The Elements only gave themselves to the greatest among Ponykind. For something to have the gall, and power, to kill one of these chosen few, a much greater punishment would be administered.
She would find out precisely what was responsible, and end it.
「Colours of the wind」: RETIRED
Well the way you described it, she'd have that time travel deus ex machine once here. She was still gonna die, but she'd serve the purpose of saving Pinkie.
I like the story, however I would be amiss to not point out I found it very silly you decided to bring in mother fucking Dio Brando to fight characters who only got their stands on the same day they're fighting him!
Yes in JoJo characters die all the time, from characters like Kakyoin and Zeppilini (both of them) to droves of Speedwagon foundation employees, however if the characters that do die have any mention beyond immediately dying then they always (as far as I remember) get the chance to be in the story long enough to have chance to build a rapport with the reader.
I feel almost cheated that RD's story ends right here after only a scarce few chapters (unless you have some idea to get her back), I really like the idea that [Colors of the Wind] is similar to [Hey Ya!] in ability, trying to cheer the user up.
[Weird Science] is also an excellently designed stand, loved how it fits Twilight perfectly and with intelligent use it is capable of being very formidable.
I've given you my criticisms and my praise now let me give you a suggestion, [Dancing Queen] helped Pinkie put on the boots to the Dio Costume as such she must have touched them and could use Telekinesis on them. Now as author it's completely your decision but what if the costume had to be intact? if you want to kill off RD I can only kindly request that you let her character develop more first.
... Wow... didn't expect that... though I kinda have to agree that it comes a bit sudden and a bit of development would have been fine... but that's the drawback of the Araki-style of writing... although it takes guts to do that this early... but then not even by a villain, but Rarity and Pinkie, technically... their reactions will be interesting... Rainbow just became Grandpa Higashikata
8385567
Hrm. Very good points, on all fronts. I can't say too much for risk of revealing where i'm going with the plot, but perhaps I did go a bit too far in driving the whole 'the death is pointless and that's why it's impactful' front. I do have plans to expand on Rainbow anyway, but that's a matter for a bit later.
Truth be told, the whole Dio thing was just...Something I kinda wanted to do. Because I was stuck. I noticed that I was going to fall into the formula of 'Pinkie visits friend -> gives stand by freak accident -> shenanigans' and wanted something to introduce a proper threat without just introducing a random enemy Stand user, because that'd need me to explain how they got their Stand. And while it could be a natural thing, like a descendant, it'd reveal that Stand users have been around for a while and this particular one just happened to be evil. It's a big old rabbit hole and I figured the easiest way to solve it was have something go much worse at Rarity's before I continued too far. That, and everything thus far had been solved in 2 acts, and I wanted a bit of a longer arc.
8385482
My issue with that is that it would still be a deus ex machina (which sounds like a poor excuse as Stands are sorta the embodiment of deus ex machina).
While I admit my error in not giving Rainbow prior time to develop, she will be expanded upon later, I can guarantee it.
I'm hoping the payoff for this decision is worth it, though. Else i've just blundered very, very hard.
I'm sorry... you lost me with this.
I know you're trying to stay true to Jojo's, but just no...
8385814
Completely understandable.
Sorry I didn't meet your expectations; i'll strive to continue improving regardless. Hopefully a project in the future might make it back up to you.
You know, I can't just leave it at that. There's so much that bothers me about this. SO MUCH!
First, why bring Dio into this? Why? He's an awesome villain, yes, but in this context, it seems like cheap fanservice. If you want to make a Stand in Equestria setting, you can't just go and do stuff like this. I honestly wouldn't even mind you reusing Stands or even making nods to the series, but... jeeze.
And then there's Rainbow's Death. There is no buildup. There is no foreshadowing. There is no reason for it. Absolutely none. Even after all the deaths in Jojo's, they had time and character development for us to get to know them, and they even showed they were strong in their own right. They only did Curbstomp Battles VERY rarely because Jojos moved past that. Take the fight between Whamu and Caesar. That fight was amazing and gave impact to Caesar's death.
Honestly, it just feels like you did it because it would be cool. It wasn't. It's a lame way to kill of a character. And all it did was make me mad.
8386097
I did have plans to explain why Dio appeared in this situation, but it would take an extra chapter or two to get to it, but to all other criticisms, you are right. I have absolutely no idea what I was thinking and it was quite clear very quickly that this was not the correct decision to make.
However; I cannot take the decision back quite so easily. The best I can do is try and make it better in the future.
Again, i'm sorry that I disappointed you.
8387045
While unexpected I will wait to see the further ramifications. Though it just feels her Stand was really pointless both in ability and purpose. Though I will wait to see the resonings going forward. Regardless her parents and a certain filly are going be devastated.
Also the Arrow is not the only way to gain a Stand. One can be born with it, have high Spiritual senses, overcoming a personal enlightenment, desperation, or on the verge of death. If one has the ability it could given as well, but it being received positively or not will be very greatly on the method.
However could outright or slowly kill said person, if said Stand was originally anothers. Which is given since they are essentially taking aspects of another person's mind into their own. As is the issue with Stand discs from Part 6 Stone Ocean of JoJo.
Heck given the setting and the numerous characters in MLP FiM that have social, emotional, and psychological breakdowns you could introduce the concept of Bound type Stands. Of which are birn from Psychological pains, wounds, fears or even disorders. Yes its from a terribly written noncanon mess of a JoJo side story, but here it can be repurposed into something could make sense.
Maybe even give rise to a potential plotline of trying to heal said issues across Equestria via the Cutie Map. So like the Cutie Map Friendship Missions but with out of control or newly gained Stand users to calm, fight, or help inform.
Speaking of Said Cutie Map and castle, if they are present, then shouldn't the Elements of Harmony be still embedded in the Branches of the Tree of Harmony? The Elements were moved to Ponyville since Season 3 and were placed into the Tree at the start of Season 4. Unless this an alternate universe or something.
8390715
I haven't read Jorge Joestar as of the moment, and I've been putting it off because frankly, from what i've heard, it sounds a little too silly for my tastes.
However, the other methods of gaining a Stand have been kept in mind, it's just that to the characters' current understanding they didn't exist until today.
As for the Elements being present, i'm going to hastily cover up that plothole by rebranding this as an au. Although, spoiler warning, I would have needed to do so after next chapter anyway.