The Quest for Harmony

by Spirit Derpy

The Stolen Crystal

Chapter 1

The Stolen Crystal

The night was still and cloudless. All was quiet at the castle of the two sisters. A gray unicorn was resting peacefully in his study. His name was Star Swirl the bearded. That restful peace was shattered at midnight when a tremendous bang echoed through the castle. Star Swirl was startled awake and nearly fell out of bed.

A second later a royal guard burst through his door and said, “Sir, there are thieves in the royal archive. You’re needed at once.”

Star Swirl didn’t waste any time. He immediately teleported himself into the royal archive. A second later he stood in front of a shelf full of scrolls. He turned around and was shocked by what he saw. Several guards lay on the floor while a few more battled with a dozen thieves that were wearing dark cloaks.

With no hesitation Star Swirl rushed forward at one of the thieves. The cloaked pony didn’t see Star Swirl until he was right behind him. Star Swirl quickly cast a spell to knock the thief out. The pony collapsed to the ground a second later.

A few feet away from the first thief stood a unicorn with red fur and a light grey mane. The red unicorn looked at Star Swirl with rage in his eyes. Before Star Swirl had time to do anything the red unicorn sent out a blast of red magical energy toward Star Swirl.

Star Swirl was an experienced wizard and was able to cast a shield spell just before the laser blast struck him. As soon as the shield absorbed the impact, Star Swirl cast his own spell at the red unicorn. The red unicorn moved to the side at the last second.

Just as Star Swirl was going to cast another spell, movement to his left and right caught his attention. Several unicorns had gathered around him. It looked like the unicorns were preparing to attack Star Swirl all at once. Thinking quickly, Star Swirl cast a blindingly bright light spell.

The light spell’s effect was instantaneous. Everyone but Star Swirl was temporarily blinded. Before the effect wore off Star Swirl aimed a spell at the red unicorn to try and take him out. The red unicorn moved at the last second causing the spell to only graze his face.

The red unicorn grunted in pain as the spell left a five-inch cut across his face. This served to only anger the unicorn, who immediately set fire to the archive. The fire quickly grew and speared, threating to burn down the whole palace.

Star Swirl had no choice but to stop fighting and put out the flames. He cast a spell that summoned water from a nearby lake. The water rained down on top of the raging flames. By the time the flames had been quenched the thieves were fleeing the archive.

Star Swirl had run after the thieves, but he quickly lost sight of them. After an hour of searching for them he gave up and went back to the archive. He was greeted by a guard who said, “Sir, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna want to speak with you immediately.”

“Why, what happened?” Star Swirl asked.

“While you were gone we found one the thieves lying unconscious on the archive floor. The thief wasn’t severely injured so we began to question him. The princesses want to talk to you about what we learned,” the guard said.

A short time later Star Swirl was standing in the throne room. Star Swirl gave a small bow to both of the princesses then he said, “Your majesties. You wanted to speak with me?”

Princess Celestia nodded at Star Swirl before she said, “I have a very important mission for you, Star Swirl. The thieves appear to have stolen the crystal of harmony. I had the guards question the thief we captured to find out why. What they learned is indeed frightening. The thief claimed to be a member of a group of ponies called the Order of Harmony. Their leader, a red unicorn named Nova, is planning to use the crystal to take over Equestria.”

“A red unicorn named Nova, that might be the one I fought in the archive. Are you sure that he really intends to use the crystal of harmony? The crystal of harmony doesn’t have the power to take over Equestria. I don’t see how it could be of any use to them. The thief must have been lying,” Star Swirl said.

“I am quite sure that the thief wasn’t lying. My guards questioned him thoroughly. The thief was definitely telling the truth. He didn’t know how they planned to use the crystal, but he was sure that the crystal would allow the Order of Harmony to take over Equestria. They plan to use the crystal in three days’ time, near an ancient ruin in northern Equestria,” Princess Celestia said. “That’s where you come in. I want you to go to these ruins and put a stop to the Order of Harmony’s plan”

Star Swirl bowed to both of the princesses as he said, “I will not fail you.” Then he left the throne room. He took an hour to gather supplies for his trip to the north. Once he had everything that he needed he went on his way.

Star Swirl arrived at the ruins a short time later. There were six obelisks in a circle, and one larger obelisk in the center of the circle. He concealed himself in some foliage and made himself comfortable. This would be his hiding spot for the next few days.

Nothing had happened the first two days and nights. During his third night there, however, something happened. While he watched the obelisks, several shadows began to move across the barren landscape. It was too dark out to tell who they were, so he quickly cast a spell to give himself night vision.

The landscape changed right before his eyes. He could now see what was hidden in darkness. The dark shadows now reveled themselves to be ponies that were clad in gray cloaks. All of the ponies were facing away from him so he wasn’t able to see their faces.

He watched the ponies as they started to gather in a circle around the central obelisk. One pony approached the obelisk. The pony removed his hood and stared at the ponies gathered around him. When Star Swirl caught a glimpse of the pony’s face he gasped in shock. Standing right before him was the leader of the Order of Harmony, Nova.

During the battle in the archive Star Swirl hadn’t been able to study Nova in any great detail. This time though, star Swirl could see more details on his face. Nova’s left eye was red and his right eye was yellow. There was a patch of missing fur that stretched from just above his left eyebrow to the middle of his cheek. It was the scar that Star Swirl had given Nova during their fight.

While Star Swirl watched the ponies, Nova started to talk. Star Swirl strained to hear what he was saying. All he could hear was a low whispering sound. He decided to cast a spell a moment later to enhance his hearing. Once the spell had been cast he immediately started to hear what was being said.

“This moment is what we’ve been working toward. We have accomplished the impossible thanks to all of your hard work and devotion. Tonight, we will achieve true greatness,” Nova said. Then his horn started glow red. A second later a small object floated out of one of his pockets.

“Behold the reason for our gathering here tonight; the crystal of harmony,” Nova said in a raised voice. The small crystal twinkled as it floated in front of the gathered ponies. The group of ponies cheered excitedly as they beheld the precious crystal.

Star Swirl grumbled as he stared at the crystal of harmony. That crystal shouldn’t be waved around so carelessly. It was clear to him that Nova and the Order of Harmony knew nothing about the crystal. If they did they wouldn’t have attempted to take it in the first place.

The crystal might be powerful, but it had its limits. The only way that the crystal would be of any use to them is if they had a massive amount of magical energy to funnel into the crystal. There was no way that these ponies had access to that much raw magical energy.

Star Swirl was brought out of his thoughts when he heard Nova talking again. “With this crystal, we will be able to banish all that disobey us. We will create everlasting harmony for all. This crystal may be small, but it holds immense power.

“The key to this power is the obelisks behind me. They channel magical energy from all over the world to this spot. That is why we have gathered here. When all of that magical energy is focused through this crystal I will be able to use an ancient spell to bring order and harmony to the entire world.”

Star Swirl looked at the obelisks. They did seem to emit a magical power. Could these ponies really use them to power the crystal of harmony? All of Star Swirl’s knowledge of the magical arts told him that it wasn’t possible. That much magical energy would be impossible to control.

While Star Swirl thought to himself Nova turned around and approached the central obelisk. This drew Star Swirl out of his thoughts. He watched as Nova brought the crystal within an inch of the obelisk. What was that pony doing? Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good. Star Swirl needed to stop him before the crystal touched the obelisk.

Before Star Swirl could do anything, the crystal touched the obelisk. The crystal and obelisk began to glow a bright red. A low humming sound started to emanate from the crystal. Star Swirl could feel the magical energy flowing into the crystal. There was far more energy than he could have ever anticipated.

Star Swirl knew then that he had no choice but to stop this madness no matter the cost. Without hesitation, he teleported himself right next to Nova. There was a startled look on his face for few seconds until it was replaced with a look of anger.

Before Nova could do anything, Star Swirl reached out to the crystal with his magic. Once he had it in his grasp he attempted to pull it away from the obelisk. He struggled against Nova’s stronger magic. Star swirl had the element of surprise on his side, and was able to move the crystal an inch away from the obelisk.

A few seconds later Nova got over the surprise of Star Swirls sudden appearance. The red unicorn then began to struggle to regain control of the crystal. Time seemed to stop as the crystal shook in place. This didn’t last, however, as Nova’s stronger magic began to overwhelm Star Swirl.

The crystal began to move closer to the obelisk. As their struggle continued, Nova said, “You won’t win this old wizard. This is my crystal and I’m going to use it one way or another.”

The crystal was now almost touching the obelisk again. Star Swirl was starting to grow desperate at this point. He needed to stop this now. Drawing on his reserves of magical energy he cast the only spell that he could think of. He was going to teleport the crystal far away from this place.

However, just as Star Swirl began to cast his spell the crystal touched the obelisk. The air around the crystal began to shimmer. Star Swirl looked at the crystal in confusion, unsure of what was happening. The ground started to grow hot as it began vibrate violently under his hooves.

Star Swirl began to grow afraid. Nova must have been able to cast his own spell. Star Swirl looked over at Nova and was shocked by the look on his face. Nova’s face had gone pale and there was a look of fear in his eyes.

Nova looked down at Star Swirl and said, “What have you done?”

Star Swirl stared back at him in confusion. “I have done nothing. You’re the one that wanted to use the crystal,” Star Swirl said.

Nova growled at Star Swirl and said, “Quit mocking me. I know you cast a spell. What did you do?”

Star Swirl was about to respond when he happened to look behind Nova. He was both shocked and confused by what he saw. There was only an empty void behind him. The ponies from earlier were gone, replaced with darkness.

Before Star Swirl had time to figure out what had happened to them a loud roaring sound started to emanate from the crystal of harmony. Star Swirl looked back at the crystal and gasped. The crystal had a bright red aura around it.

As Star Swirl watched the crystal, it’s aura began to glow brighter. The crystal’s aura soon shifted from red to orange, getting even brighter. Star Swirl had to look away a few seconds later when the crystal’s aura turned yellow.

Its brightness was starting to hurt his eyes. Star Swirl looked back Nova. He could see the bright light of the crystal painted across Nova’s face. The light coming from the crystal was now green. Nova stared into Star Swirls eyes.

Star Swirl could see that Nova was just as frightened as he was. It seemed like he didn’t know what was going on either. Then Nova’s mouth began to move as if he were speaking, but Star Swirl couldn’t hear him. The roar coming from the crystal was too loud.

Star Swirl shook his head at Nova and said, “I can’t hear you.” Nova’s mouth stopped moving when he realized that nothing could be heard above the roar of the crystal, which was now glowing blue.

Time seemed to be moving so slow. Star swirl couldn’t think of any way to stop what was happening. He was forced to watch as the crystal started to glow purple. It was now so bright that Star Swirl was forced to close his eyes.

Once his eyes were closed, the crystal’s light began to shift again to red. Then it shifted to yellow even faster than the first time and kept on shifting colors even faster. Every few seconds it would change.

As the crystal kept changing color the roar grew louder and louder until it reached such a high pitch that it was starting to overwhelm Star Swirl. Just when Star Swirl was about to cast a spell to protect his ears the sound stopped altogether.

The new silence was so startling to Star Swirl that he opened his eyes to see what was happening. That’s when he noticed that the crystal was no longer glowing. Everything around him was now too dark too see.

As Star Swirl waited for something to happen, he heard Nova breathing next to him. A second later Nova said, “What just happened?’

Star Swirl was about to respond, but before he could say anything there was a tremendous explosion. He was knocked off of his hooves as bright lights flashed all around him. Star Swirl heard Nova shout in surprise as he too, was flung into the air.

Star Swirl felt himself flying through space at an alarming rate. The light of the explosion started to fall farther and farther behind him as his speed kept on increasing. Soon the light vanished completely, surrounding him in nothing but complete darkness.

Even though Star Swirl felt like he was in a complete void he knew that he was still moving. After what felt like forever, the darkness that surrounded him soon began to change. He could see small balls of lights shifting around him.

At first Star Swirl could not tell what these lights were, but as time passed they grew bigger and brighter. A moment later Star Swirl could see strange details inside the balls of light. It looked like things were moving inside of them.

It took Star Swirl a few minutes to identify what the objects were. There were six ponies moving around in the balls of light. They appeared to be walking around a small town. For some reason Star Swirl could tell that these ponies were friends.

When Star Swirl drew closer he decided to try and get their attention. “Hello over there. Can you help me?” For a second he saw one of the ponies, a pink colored mare, glance back at him, but she quickly looked away.

Star swirl was going to try and talk to them again, but something weird happened. The ball of light changed. The six ponies appeared to be standing around in some kind of library tree house. As Star Swirl watched them, the pink pony glanced in his direction again. Before he could try to talk to her, the necklace around her neck began to glow and shoot out a strange beam of light.

Star Swirl blinked and the ball of light changed again. This time he was looking at the outside of the tree house. He didn’t see any of the ponies around. Then a split second later the tree house exploded in a bright flash.

Star Swirl was forced to shield his eyes with his hoof. He took his hoof away from his face a moment later. The ball of light had changed again. Now there was a crystal castle in the center. The six ponies from earlier were gathered in front of the castle. This time, however, they weren’t alone. There were dozens of other ponies around them. It appeared that everypony was staring at the crystal castle.

Then as Star Swirl watched the ball of light changed one last time. The castle was replaced with an empty clearing in a forest. He could see the clearing in such great detail now. It almost felt like he was actually there.

That’s when he realized that he had somehow entered the ball of light. He was now falling toward the clearing at great speed. The ground was growing closer and closer. He would need to stop himself before he hit the ground he realized.

Just as he was a few feet away from the ground he cast a spell to slow himself down. He hit the ground with a soft thump, knocking the wind out of him. For the next few minutes he just lay on the ground trying to catch his breath. It still felt like he was falling through the air.

Once he had caught his breath he began to feel very tired. He tried to fight against the feeling but couldn’t. His eyes began to close. He felt so sleepy. Maybe if he just closed his eyes for a minute, he would feel better. A short time later Star Swirl lay on the forest floor, fast asleep.

Comments

[LosticshyPam]

Is this a legend? ........

[Spirit Derpy]

8344074
I guess that you could call it a legend. I didn't really base it off of anything, though.

[Lightwavers]

The night was still and cloudless. All was quiet at the castle of the two sisters. A gray unicorn was resting peacefully in his study. His name was Star Swirl the bearded. That restful peace was shattered at midnight when a tremendous bang echoed through the castle. Star Swirl was startled awake and nearly fell out of bed.

A way to tell if something is wrong is that it sounds off when you read it out loud. If you did, you would realize something very important about this paragraph: it's boring to read. You can tell, can't you? You have the exact same sentence structure the whole time. Each sentence is short and choppy. Now short and choppy sentences are good (in moderation!) for action scenes, but this is not an action scene. Slow down. Shorter sentences make readers rush, longer ones make them linger. And right now, I'm confused as to why I'm rushing.

A second later a royal guard burst through his door and said, “Sir, there are thieves in the royal archive. You’re needed at once.”

"Sir, the Princess has invited you for tea. Please feel free to come at your earliest convenience." Compare these two pieces of dialogue. Notice anything? That's right: they both sound the same when you say them out loud. A guard who has just burst through the door to deliver a crucial piece of information is not going to act like he's delivering an invitation for tea. Throw in a pant. Make it short and choppy like the sentences in your first paragraph. "Star Swirl," the guard panted. He slumped down to the floor, sides heaving in exhaustion. "Thieves in the archive." See? That looks much more realistic. And you'll notice I abandoned the "sir" in favor of the guard using Star Swirl's name. It's an emergency; the guard is tired and panicked. He's not going to use the most formal language.

Star Swirl didn’t waste any time. He immediately teleported himself into the royal archive. A second later he stood in front of a shelf full of scrolls. He turned around and was shocked by what he saw. Several guards lay on the floor while a few more battled with a dozen thieves that were wearing dark cloaks.

The first two sentences say the same thing. Get rid of one of them. Next, your description is lacking in the extreme. I know, I know; you were probably thinking of how boring the description in every book you've read was and wanted to leave it out so no one else would have to suffer reading through it. But description is necessary. You can be terse, but you need something. Make Star Swirl stumble and take stock of the situation, gathering key details. Take a quick three sentence paragraph to show the scene. Now the final problem in this paragraph is that you're telling. He was shocked. Alright. What does that look like? You could instead describe his eyes widening, and his head drawing back.

These problems are repeated throughout the rest of the chapter so I'm not going to copy paste everything. To summarize: vary your sentence structure, when you include dialogue make sure you are aware of the speaker's actions (is he tired? Relaxed? Irritated?) and describe them, show emotions through actions instead of telling them, and make sure you have description.

This is not to say you shouldn't keep writing. You have problems with your writing. So do I. We are both novices. Don't be afraid to submit garbage, because writing garbage can only make your future stories better. Just try to be aware of these problems. Good luck. :)